![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
beautifvl-flaw.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
kinkfestTitle: Spilt Secrets
Prompt: Bleach, Ukitake/Shunsui: Secrets, angst - Shunsui finds out about Ukitake’s illness for the first time.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Nothing that I can think of.
Word count: 587
Summary: There is never a right time.
A/N: One of the only fics I've managed to get done on time. Aah! I hope you like it. It's also posted to my own journal.
"You look awful."
Jyuushiro glanced up from the tea he had been brought to see his friend and lover standing in the doorway wearing a smile that did not quite reach his eyes. He returned it weakly.
"You aren't looking your best either."
"I wonder why that might be." For the first time, Jyuushiro heard anger in that usually calm voice. They were not strangers to disagreements, of course, but everything in the past seemed like a minor annoyance compared to the tone now. Jyuushiro said nothing, and eventually Shunsui came to sit beside him on the bed.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.
Jyuushiro sighed. He had known that the question would come, and he had rehearsed so many ways to answer while Unohana-san had fussed around him, checking this and that and providing him with some sort of medicine that tasted far too foul to seem like it would do any good at all. Now all of his elaborate explanations were forgotten and answer was reduced to simple truth.
"I didn't want you to worry."
"It didn't work," Shunsui replied bluntly. "All the time that Retsu-san was with you I was more worried than I have ever been about anything."
Jyuushiro stared into his tea. "I'm sorry. Please don't be angry."
Shunsui's expression softened then, to Jyuushiro's relief. "I'm not angry. I just wish you had told me. I share my life with you, and my bed with you. I would have liked to know about something that affects you this much, or had some forewarning before you passed out all of a sudden. What if..."
The rest of the sentence didn't need to be said for it to hang heavy between them, something tangible that they both wanted to hide from. Jyuushiro drew a ragged breath and opened his mouth to speak without any idea what he wanted to say. Shunsui beat him to it.
"I'm annoyed at myself," he said, continuing before Jyuushiro had any time to express his bewilderment. "All of those times you had 'just a cough', I gave you a pat on the back and thought nothing of it."
"That is my fault, not yours," Jyuushiro replied. "Why would you think anything of it?"
Shunsui sighed and said nothing.
"That I chose not to tell you is no fault of yours at all. I thought I was protecting you. I didn't think that I would get ill enough that you would need to know, and I didn't think that I should worry you about it. Maybe I was worried myself that you might think differently if I told you, and I feel far worse that I would think that about you than I do about anything else."
"You stopped breathing."
"That's what I was told. Even if I hadn't, I would still regret not telling you. I knew, somewhere, that you would want to know-"
"But there was never a 'right moment'-"
"So I carried on 'protecting' you. I'm sorry."
Shunsui smiled, and this time it was genuine. "I would have done the same to you. Silly of us, but it doesn't matter now. We'll have an exchange. I'll distract you from your sickness and feeling like the world's biggest fool for not telling me about it."
Jyuushiro couldn't stop the relieved chuckle that sent tea trickling back into his mug. "And I will distract you from what?"
"Myself."
"You could talk to me."
The glint in Shunsui's eyes was comfortingly familiar. "Later. Now, I would rather kiss you."
- - -
Prompt: Bleach, Ukitake/Shunsui: Secrets, angst - Shunsui finds out about Ukitake’s illness for the first time.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Nothing that I can think of.
Word count: 587
Summary: There is never a right time.
A/N: One of the only fics I've managed to get done on time. Aah! I hope you like it. It's also posted to my own journal.
"You look awful."
Jyuushiro glanced up from the tea he had been brought to see his friend and lover standing in the doorway wearing a smile that did not quite reach his eyes. He returned it weakly.
"You aren't looking your best either."
"I wonder why that might be." For the first time, Jyuushiro heard anger in that usually calm voice. They were not strangers to disagreements, of course, but everything in the past seemed like a minor annoyance compared to the tone now. Jyuushiro said nothing, and eventually Shunsui came to sit beside him on the bed.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.
Jyuushiro sighed. He had known that the question would come, and he had rehearsed so many ways to answer while Unohana-san had fussed around him, checking this and that and providing him with some sort of medicine that tasted far too foul to seem like it would do any good at all. Now all of his elaborate explanations were forgotten and answer was reduced to simple truth.
"I didn't want you to worry."
"It didn't work," Shunsui replied bluntly. "All the time that Retsu-san was with you I was more worried than I have ever been about anything."
Jyuushiro stared into his tea. "I'm sorry. Please don't be angry."
Shunsui's expression softened then, to Jyuushiro's relief. "I'm not angry. I just wish you had told me. I share my life with you, and my bed with you. I would have liked to know about something that affects you this much, or had some forewarning before you passed out all of a sudden. What if..."
The rest of the sentence didn't need to be said for it to hang heavy between them, something tangible that they both wanted to hide from. Jyuushiro drew a ragged breath and opened his mouth to speak without any idea what he wanted to say. Shunsui beat him to it.
"I'm annoyed at myself," he said, continuing before Jyuushiro had any time to express his bewilderment. "All of those times you had 'just a cough', I gave you a pat on the back and thought nothing of it."
"That is my fault, not yours," Jyuushiro replied. "Why would you think anything of it?"
Shunsui sighed and said nothing.
"That I chose not to tell you is no fault of yours at all. I thought I was protecting you. I didn't think that I would get ill enough that you would need to know, and I didn't think that I should worry you about it. Maybe I was worried myself that you might think differently if I told you, and I feel far worse that I would think that about you than I do about anything else."
"You stopped breathing."
"That's what I was told. Even if I hadn't, I would still regret not telling you. I knew, somewhere, that you would want to know-"
"But there was never a 'right moment'-"
"So I carried on 'protecting' you. I'm sorry."
Shunsui smiled, and this time it was genuine. "I would have done the same to you. Silly of us, but it doesn't matter now. We'll have an exchange. I'll distract you from your sickness and feeling like the world's biggest fool for not telling me about it."
Jyuushiro couldn't stop the relieved chuckle that sent tea trickling back into his mug. "And I will distract you from what?"
"Myself."
"You could talk to me."
The glint in Shunsui's eyes was comfortingly familiar. "Later. Now, I would rather kiss you."
- - -
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}