"Weight," Goku/Hakkai, Saiyuki

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

Title: Weight
Author: lady_ganesh
Rating: PG
Pairing: Hakkai/Goku
Prompt: Unexpected emotional storm, calming someone, back-rub, cuddling - and maybe more - You can take the world down off your shoulders



Hakkai woke up with a sense that something was wrong; a nameless, unsettled feeling. Gojyo was asleep in the seat next to him, but Goku was gone from Jeep. Hakkai opened the door and got out, scanning the horizon. There wasn't much moonlight, but after a few seconds' search, he caught the faint gleam off Goku's limiter.

They had pulled over what had once been a riverbank, and Goku was sitting just at the edge of the dropoff, his legs dangling over. He seemed to be looking out at the water, although Hakkai knew it was just a bit of damp ground where the water had been. Hakkai walked over and sat next to him.

They both sat there for a while, just looking out.

"She's dead," Goku said.

"Yes," Hakkai answered.

"I mean," Goku said, "I get it. She made her choice. But--"

"She smiled at me," Hakkai said, "just before she took the knife and--" His voice broke.

"Hey," Goku said, but Hakkai was crying too hard by then to answer. Goku reached his arm out and touched his back, a gentle rubbing at first, and then, as Hakkai gasped for breath, putting his arms around Hakkai and embracing him. "You don't gotta be strong for us all the time," Goku murmured. It was hard to breathe.

"I'm not--" Hakkai gasped finally. He just...was. He wasn't trying to be anything.

"It's okay," Goku said. "It's gonna be okay."

"You're not supposed to be comforting me," Hakkai murmured into Goku's shoulder.

"Shh," Goku said, and pressed his lips to Hakkai's cheek, just for a moment.

"All right," Hakkai said, and pulled Goku closer.