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kinkfestTitle: Left Alone
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
windrider1
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Word Count: 2000ish
Prompt:July 22nd Bleach Hitsugaya/Rukia, hurt/comfort – between shards of ice ,they find their strength.
AN: Goodness, where the heck did my smut go?!? After a re-read and revisions, this piece went off on its own rather unexpected tangent. **sigh** Sorry about that. No smut. :( I hope it's enjoyed anyway!
The attack came out of nowhere, nearly ruining their small get together. Had it not been for Captain Hitsugaya's shift in demeanor, Rukia never would have even suspected anything was wrong. She had watched him—something she found herself doing more and more lately—as his head had snapped up from it's place against his crossed forearms and his vibrant eyes had narrowed. He popped a soul candy and was off before she had finished pouring her punch causing her to frown.
He hadn't so much as motioned to Matsumoto—not that it would have mattered if he had, as plastered as she was—but instead he just vanished. He was doing that all too often, Rukia thought, setting her glass on the table. Ever since Aizen...and the casualties that battle had caused...
She shook her head and slanted a glance over her shoulder. Ichigo was laughing at something obnoxious Renji was doing while his girlfriend—Linda? Lisa? She really couldn't keep track any more—was trading hair style advice with Orihime as Ishida rubbed the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Chad was stoically silent, as usual, beside Ichigo and but smiling, which was nice to see.
They'd all graduated Highschool, which was apparently a big deal in the real world, and with some coaxing from Renji and Rukia a few of Ichigo's closest Shinigami friends had been given the night off to help them celebrate.
With supervision—of course. Which had resulted in an eager Matsumoto and a disgruntled Captain Hitsugaya joining them at the park.
With another sigh Rukia turned her attention in the direction the Captain of the Tenth Division had disappeared in. She was more than certain he could handle anything that was thrown his way, but she'd be a pretty shitty Shinigami if she didn't at least offer assistance. Especially seeing as how the others were a little...inebriated. She turned in time to see Renji fall on his ass laughing. And useless, she mentally added.
She popped her Soul Candy and stepped into the night. “Keep an eye on them,” she told Chappy, pointing to her laughing group of friends. “And stay away from Ichigo.”
“Is he still mad about that?” Chappy grinned.
Rukia's eyes narrowed. “I'm still mad about that.”
Chappy rolled her eyes.
“His girlfriend walked in on you two.” Now one of many ex girlfriends, she silently added.
“His fault for being so easy.”
“Chappy.”
“All right, all right. No more sex in your gigai.” Chappy grinned and bounced towards the others.
Turning away, before she lopped her mod-soul's head off, Rukia took off after Hitsugaya. The incident was several months old, but it had caused irreparable damage to her and Ichigo's relationship. He had thought it was her, and she had been distraught to learn that he'd crossed that line.
She loved him, always had, and probably always would, but not the way he thought. He was a part of her soul, and he was forever her Ichigo, and maybe she was a coward, but she didn't want to lose that.
Though in the aftermath of Chappy's stunt, she did anyway.
He had avoided her for weeks and barely uttered full sentences when they managed to find themselves alone. He'd also started dating—a lot. He was trying, he had told her, to move on.
She had wondered what there was to 'move on' from and that had made him furious.
She didn't understand. And he was so hurt and she couldn't fix it...and she wanted to. She wanted things back the way they were supposed to be. Her and Ichigo, side by side. But it never went back, no matter how hard she tried. They never found balance again and then, before she knew it, she was alone.
Ichigo was never mean, never rude—which in itself was horribly out of character—and still called her his friend, but that bond they'd forged on a dark street corner four years ago was gone.
And it broke her heart.
Feet dancing over telephone poles, Rukia wondered if that was why she watched Captain Hitsugaya so much. Because he was as broken as she was—maybe more.
Lieutenant Hinomori had survived being stabbed by Hitsugaya, but their relationship had taken a severe beating in the months beforehand, and in the months after. She never really forgave him, and he never came close to forgiving himself.
Rukia had seen him, more than once, late at night sitting atop the roof of his office, staring up into the night and his expression unguarded and vulnerable. She never dreamed of disturbing him in those moments, and she knew if he had an inkling he'd been spotted in such a state he'd completely close himself off, so she never uttered a word to anyone.
But she looked for him.
She took those moments and savored them, because in his pale expression she saw her heart. Broken, wounded, aching...and so lonely.
He made her ache.
“Kuchiki!”
Startled, Rukia swung herself around, slipping her blade from its sheathe. Bright teal eyes were inches from her face and then she was being plowed into the ground—the snow covered ground?—as Captain Hitsugaya grunted in pain.
“What the hell are you doing here, Kuchiki?” His voice was harsh against he ear, his tone cold.
“I saw you leave,” she began. “I wanted to offer some assistance.”
One white eyebrow arched in clear disdain. “Thanks for the help,” he hissed, standing. He turned away from her then and she saw crimson slashes across the back of his Captain's uniform. His head cocked and he closed his eyes, listening.
“Captain...?”
“Shut up.” He spun on his heel, silver blade gleaming in the shadows. There was a sick, wet thunk of sound and then a Hollow shimmered into view. “Your pathetic illusions won't work on me,” the young Captain said, adjusting his grip and sliding his sword up, cleaving the Hollow in half. Then, he turned to her, eyes as chill as the ground she was sprawled on.
Hastily, Rukia sprung to her feet. “My apologies, Captain Hitsugaya. I was...distracted.”
“Obviously.”
She winced at his tone. Deciding it best to move on, she asked, “Any others?”
“No. I dispatched the other two before you arrived.” To anyone else he would have been the picture of cold, unfeeling, indifference, but Rukia saw the tightness around his mouth, the slight turn at the corners of his eyes.
“Is there something on your mind, Kuchiki?” he asked after a moment, not bothering to look at her. “You're staring.”
Rukia brushed a hand through her hair, sheathed Sode No Shirayuki. She knew he wouldn't appreciate her inner commentary on his appearance any more than she would have from someone, so she instead gestured to his stained clothes. “You are injured.”
He shrugged. “It's hardly significant.”
“I would disagree,” she countered. “I'm sure Orihime ca—”
“No.” He cut her off.
Rukia sighed. “So, you'd rather bleed?”
His hands fisted at his sides and his eyes flickered away.“Your concern is neither warranted or wanted, Kuchiki. Leave it be.”
Rukia glowered at his profile. She could understand wanting to be left alone, and she could understand cold indifference, and she could even relate to it. But she couldn't abide liars. She never had been able to. It was one of the reasons Gin crawled under her skin like he had.
“Bullshit,” she breathed.
That got his attention. “Excuse me?”
“You may not believe my concern is warranted, but you want it. And if you don't want it then you need it, and I'm not sure you'll admit to either.”
He turned on his heel to face her, eyes level with her own. “And you're an expert on my wants and needs?” he seethed. “You barely know me. No one knows me.”
“Not like she did,” Rukia added on a whisper.
His eyes snapped blue fire and once more Rukia was driven into the snow and ground. “You don't know what you're talking about, so shut the fuck up.”
Grunting at the unexpected impact Rukia used their proximity to force his gaze to hers. She hadn't realized how close to the edge he really was and the open, raw pain in his frosted blues tore open her own wounds.
“I don't know?” she laughed, but it was bitter. “I know! I know what it's like to have your foundation torn apart by a stupid accident.”
“You've stabbed your best friend?” he questioned with a twist of his lips. “You've watched their blood slip down your sword and know that if they never breathed again it was your fault?”
“Yes,” she choked out, causing his eyes to widen just a fraction. “I know what it's like...” she gave a shaky breath. More than once, her mind told her. She'd killed Kaien more than once. “But, Hinomori is breathing. And it was Aizen's fault!” Rukia countered. “You didn't know.”
It was his turn to laugh and something in it coiled her nerves. “You wanna know something, Kuchiki? I don't think it would have changed anything if I had.”
Rukia shook her head, denying his claim.
“I loved her. I hated her. I...” His expression wavered.
“Wanted to hurt her,” she finished.
He closed his eyes, shuddered. “Yes.” He flinched when he felt her fingers on his cheek, but he didn't open his eyes.
“I know how it feels,” Rukia whispered, “to want to punish yourself. To want to make everything numb. I know how hard the nights are and the ache...I know.”
He shuddered, his breath a raspy sound that plumed in the frigid air around them. “How do I...” he swallowed, opened his eyes and held hers. “How do I make it stop?”
“I don't know,” she answered truthfully. “I think that some wounds take a long time to heal.” Her hand moved purposefully to his back and the gouges there. He flinched. “But the first step is acknowledging you have them.” She inclined her head, watched his expression. “So, should we go see Orihime now?”
“No.” His own hand moved, fingers brushing snow from her forehead. When she frowned, he tilted his head down, veiling his eyes behind dark lashes. “I would... prefer you.”
Rukia didn't understand the blush that crept along her neck, so she ignored it and nodded. “I'll do what I can,” she agreed.
Toshiro helped her to her feet and turned to give her access to his injury. “You've done more than enough already,” he murmured, and behind him Rukia felt the faint hint of a smile.
They returned to the party a short time later, and Matsumoto—apparently not as drunk as she put on—arched a blond brow when her Captain joined them at the fire pit. Her look became downright comical when he reached for a beer and told her to lighten up.
Rukia watched their exchange with a soft smile and allowed her gaze to find Ichigo's. He lifted his drink in her direction as a silent salute and although there was still distance between them, Rukia felt herself smiling wider and feeling hopeful.
When Toshiro handed her a glass of punch she took it and allowed herself the indulgence of brushing her fingertips across his. They both had a long way to go in terms of healing, but she knew that after tonight neither would feel quite so alone again.
Author:
windrider1Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Word Count: 2000ish
Prompt:July 22nd Bleach Hitsugaya/Rukia, hurt/comfort – between shards of ice ,they find their strength.
AN: Goodness, where the heck did my smut go?!? After a re-read and revisions, this piece went off on its own rather unexpected tangent. **sigh** Sorry about that. No smut. :( I hope it's enjoyed anyway!
The attack came out of nowhere, nearly ruining their small get together. Had it not been for Captain Hitsugaya's shift in demeanor, Rukia never would have even suspected anything was wrong. She had watched him—something she found herself doing more and more lately—as his head had snapped up from it's place against his crossed forearms and his vibrant eyes had narrowed. He popped a soul candy and was off before she had finished pouring her punch causing her to frown.
He hadn't so much as motioned to Matsumoto—not that it would have mattered if he had, as plastered as she was—but instead he just vanished. He was doing that all too often, Rukia thought, setting her glass on the table. Ever since Aizen...and the casualties that battle had caused...
She shook her head and slanted a glance over her shoulder. Ichigo was laughing at something obnoxious Renji was doing while his girlfriend—Linda? Lisa? She really couldn't keep track any more—was trading hair style advice with Orihime as Ishida rubbed the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Chad was stoically silent, as usual, beside Ichigo and but smiling, which was nice to see.
They'd all graduated Highschool, which was apparently a big deal in the real world, and with some coaxing from Renji and Rukia a few of Ichigo's closest Shinigami friends had been given the night off to help them celebrate.
With supervision—of course. Which had resulted in an eager Matsumoto and a disgruntled Captain Hitsugaya joining them at the park.
With another sigh Rukia turned her attention in the direction the Captain of the Tenth Division had disappeared in. She was more than certain he could handle anything that was thrown his way, but she'd be a pretty shitty Shinigami if she didn't at least offer assistance. Especially seeing as how the others were a little...inebriated. She turned in time to see Renji fall on his ass laughing. And useless, she mentally added.
She popped her Soul Candy and stepped into the night. “Keep an eye on them,” she told Chappy, pointing to her laughing group of friends. “And stay away from Ichigo.”
“Is he still mad about that?” Chappy grinned.
Rukia's eyes narrowed. “I'm still mad about that.”
Chappy rolled her eyes.
“His girlfriend walked in on you two.” Now one of many ex girlfriends, she silently added.
“His fault for being so easy.”
“Chappy.”
“All right, all right. No more sex in your gigai.” Chappy grinned and bounced towards the others.
Turning away, before she lopped her mod-soul's head off, Rukia took off after Hitsugaya. The incident was several months old, but it had caused irreparable damage to her and Ichigo's relationship. He had thought it was her, and she had been distraught to learn that he'd crossed that line.
She loved him, always had, and probably always would, but not the way he thought. He was a part of her soul, and he was forever her Ichigo, and maybe she was a coward, but she didn't want to lose that.
Though in the aftermath of Chappy's stunt, she did anyway.
He had avoided her for weeks and barely uttered full sentences when they managed to find themselves alone. He'd also started dating—a lot. He was trying, he had told her, to move on.
She had wondered what there was to 'move on' from and that had made him furious.
She didn't understand. And he was so hurt and she couldn't fix it...and she wanted to. She wanted things back the way they were supposed to be. Her and Ichigo, side by side. But it never went back, no matter how hard she tried. They never found balance again and then, before she knew it, she was alone.
Ichigo was never mean, never rude—which in itself was horribly out of character—and still called her his friend, but that bond they'd forged on a dark street corner four years ago was gone.
And it broke her heart.
Feet dancing over telephone poles, Rukia wondered if that was why she watched Captain Hitsugaya so much. Because he was as broken as she was—maybe more.
Lieutenant Hinomori had survived being stabbed by Hitsugaya, but their relationship had taken a severe beating in the months beforehand, and in the months after. She never really forgave him, and he never came close to forgiving himself.
Rukia had seen him, more than once, late at night sitting atop the roof of his office, staring up into the night and his expression unguarded and vulnerable. She never dreamed of disturbing him in those moments, and she knew if he had an inkling he'd been spotted in such a state he'd completely close himself off, so she never uttered a word to anyone.
But she looked for him.
She took those moments and savored them, because in his pale expression she saw her heart. Broken, wounded, aching...and so lonely.
He made her ache.
“Kuchiki!”
Startled, Rukia swung herself around, slipping her blade from its sheathe. Bright teal eyes were inches from her face and then she was being plowed into the ground—the snow covered ground?—as Captain Hitsugaya grunted in pain.
“What the hell are you doing here, Kuchiki?” His voice was harsh against he ear, his tone cold.
“I saw you leave,” she began. “I wanted to offer some assistance.”
One white eyebrow arched in clear disdain. “Thanks for the help,” he hissed, standing. He turned away from her then and she saw crimson slashes across the back of his Captain's uniform. His head cocked and he closed his eyes, listening.
“Captain...?”
“Shut up.” He spun on his heel, silver blade gleaming in the shadows. There was a sick, wet thunk of sound and then a Hollow shimmered into view. “Your pathetic illusions won't work on me,” the young Captain said, adjusting his grip and sliding his sword up, cleaving the Hollow in half. Then, he turned to her, eyes as chill as the ground she was sprawled on.
Hastily, Rukia sprung to her feet. “My apologies, Captain Hitsugaya. I was...distracted.”
“Obviously.”
She winced at his tone. Deciding it best to move on, she asked, “Any others?”
“No. I dispatched the other two before you arrived.” To anyone else he would have been the picture of cold, unfeeling, indifference, but Rukia saw the tightness around his mouth, the slight turn at the corners of his eyes.
“Is there something on your mind, Kuchiki?” he asked after a moment, not bothering to look at her. “You're staring.”
Rukia brushed a hand through her hair, sheathed Sode No Shirayuki. She knew he wouldn't appreciate her inner commentary on his appearance any more than she would have from someone, so she instead gestured to his stained clothes. “You are injured.”
He shrugged. “It's hardly significant.”
“I would disagree,” she countered. “I'm sure Orihime ca—”
“No.” He cut her off.
Rukia sighed. “So, you'd rather bleed?”
His hands fisted at his sides and his eyes flickered away.“Your concern is neither warranted or wanted, Kuchiki. Leave it be.”
Rukia glowered at his profile. She could understand wanting to be left alone, and she could understand cold indifference, and she could even relate to it. But she couldn't abide liars. She never had been able to. It was one of the reasons Gin crawled under her skin like he had.
“Bullshit,” she breathed.
That got his attention. “Excuse me?”
“You may not believe my concern is warranted, but you want it. And if you don't want it then you need it, and I'm not sure you'll admit to either.”
He turned on his heel to face her, eyes level with her own. “And you're an expert on my wants and needs?” he seethed. “You barely know me. No one knows me.”
“Not like she did,” Rukia added on a whisper.
His eyes snapped blue fire and once more Rukia was driven into the snow and ground. “You don't know what you're talking about, so shut the fuck up.”
Grunting at the unexpected impact Rukia used their proximity to force his gaze to hers. She hadn't realized how close to the edge he really was and the open, raw pain in his frosted blues tore open her own wounds.
“I don't know?” she laughed, but it was bitter. “I know! I know what it's like to have your foundation torn apart by a stupid accident.”
“You've stabbed your best friend?” he questioned with a twist of his lips. “You've watched their blood slip down your sword and know that if they never breathed again it was your fault?”
“Yes,” she choked out, causing his eyes to widen just a fraction. “I know what it's like...” she gave a shaky breath. More than once, her mind told her. She'd killed Kaien more than once. “But, Hinomori is breathing. And it was Aizen's fault!” Rukia countered. “You didn't know.”
It was his turn to laugh and something in it coiled her nerves. “You wanna know something, Kuchiki? I don't think it would have changed anything if I had.”
Rukia shook her head, denying his claim.
“I loved her. I hated her. I...” His expression wavered.
“Wanted to hurt her,” she finished.
He closed his eyes, shuddered. “Yes.” He flinched when he felt her fingers on his cheek, but he didn't open his eyes.
“I know how it feels,” Rukia whispered, “to want to punish yourself. To want to make everything numb. I know how hard the nights are and the ache...I know.”
He shuddered, his breath a raspy sound that plumed in the frigid air around them. “How do I...” he swallowed, opened his eyes and held hers. “How do I make it stop?”
“I don't know,” she answered truthfully. “I think that some wounds take a long time to heal.” Her hand moved purposefully to his back and the gouges there. He flinched. “But the first step is acknowledging you have them.” She inclined her head, watched his expression. “So, should we go see Orihime now?”
“No.” His own hand moved, fingers brushing snow from her forehead. When she frowned, he tilted his head down, veiling his eyes behind dark lashes. “I would... prefer you.”
Rukia didn't understand the blush that crept along her neck, so she ignored it and nodded. “I'll do what I can,” she agreed.
Toshiro helped her to her feet and turned to give her access to his injury. “You've done more than enough already,” he murmured, and behind him Rukia felt the faint hint of a smile.
They returned to the party a short time later, and Matsumoto—apparently not as drunk as she put on—arched a blond brow when her Captain joined them at the fire pit. Her look became downright comical when he reached for a beer and told her to lighten up.
Rukia watched their exchange with a soft smile and allowed her gaze to find Ichigo's. He lifted his drink in her direction as a silent salute and although there was still distance between them, Rukia felt herself smiling wider and feeling hopeful.
When Toshiro handed her a glass of punch she took it and allowed herself the indulgence of brushing her fingertips across his. They both had a long way to go in terms of healing, but she knew that after tonight neither would feel quite so alone again.
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