[FIC] Worth. Shuuei/Kouyuu.
Aug. 28th, 2007 11:56 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
cairnsy.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
kinkfestTitle: Worth.
Author: Cairnsy.
Rating: PG-13.
Word count: 2800
Prompt: 51. Saiunkoku Monogatari, Shuuei/Kouyuu: First time, dubious consent - the aftermath of a redlight district adventure.
Summary: A visit to the red-light district has consequences for Shuuei and Kouyuu's relationship. Shuuei/Kouyuu.
A/N: I will finish all my SK prompts if it's the death of me ^_^.
It was almost ridiculously unfair, Shuuei thought wryly as he waited for Kouyuu at the entrance of the red light district, that he was taking Kouyuu out so that his best friend could pay to sleep with someone who wasn't him. If Kouyuu insisted on parting with his money for sexual services then Shuuei was more than willing to charge Kouyuu a minimal fee to satisfy that particular kink, but Reishin had been really rather specific in his blasé attempt to get Kouyuu out of the house so that he could engage in his own sexual activities. Kouyuu had been too angry at Reishin to get across perfectly exactly what Reishin had said, but Shuuei gathered that it had something to do with Reishin not being able to marry off a son who didn't have at least a basic acquaintance with the female form. Shuuei highly doubted that Reishin had meant his dry comment to be interpreted quite this literally (in fact, Shuuei was positive that he'd simply meant to anger Kouyuu enough that he'd spend the night sulking at Shuuei's), but Shuuei didn't intend to interfere on Reishin's behalf. Besides, Kouyuu had been really quite insistent.
It was thankfully a fine evening, as Kouyuu's coach arrived almost half an hour later than Kouyuu had irritably promised it would. Kouyuu did not so much as step out of it as he did tumble from it, but Shuuei had known Kouyuu far too long to not suspect the reason why his friend was so late and was right there to catch him.
"This is all your fault," Kouyuu muttered as he righted himself and brushed passed Shuuei. Shuuei was almost impressed, Kouyuu hadn't drunken nearly as much as Shuuei had thought he might before coming out. There was a slightly tipsy feel to his best friend that wasn't misplaced on someone heading to the red light district for the first time, and as long as Kouyuu had dressed appropriately-
Shuuei dated stunningly beautiful people all the time - he slept with stunningly beautiful people all the time - and so it was ridiculous the way his breath caught in his throat when Kouyuu turned around and waited for Shuuei to catch up with him. The deep black of Kouyuu's robe was offset by the pink trim that softened any hardness that the dark colour may have otherwise had, while still bringing a strange warmth to Kouyuu's usually pale hair and eyes. Shuuei had been unashamedly attracted to his best friend for years, and yet there was something about seeing Kouyuu's quiet, understated elegance amongst the gaudiness of the red light district that somehow made Kouyuu that much more-
Of course, the image was somewhat lost when Kouyuu scowled impatiently at him like that.
"Let's go in, shall we?"
They lasted an hour. When Kouyuu didn't stormed out the moment someone had dared utter a degrading compliment at him, Shuuei realised with a start that this was something that Kouyuu desperately wanted to go through with. It had taken years before his closest friend had even become comfortable with Shuuei's casual touches, and so the thought of Kouyuu actually seeking out the physical caresses of others was almost disconcerting, especially as Shuuei knew that Kouyuu's motivations were not his own. The hold that Reishin held over his young son at times terrified Shuuei, and as Kouyuu looked desperately lost (not to mentioned a touch terrified) as they wove deeper in the hallowed halls of Kochou's establishment, Shuuei briefly wondered if perhaps now would be a good time to abort their 'mission'.
The problem was, if Shuuei did do that then he would lose out on the opportunity of seeing Kouyuu having to fend off the advances of several of Kochou's finest girls, and that was something Shuuei would normally be willing to pay to see. He'd save Kouyuu from the wandering hands of women (and men, if Shuuei knew Kochou at all after all these years) once Shuuei had gathered enough material to tease Kouyuu with for at least a year.
That had, at least, been Shuuei's intentions. However, after watching prettily made up whores paw at Kouyuu as though he was some novelty attraction, Shuuei found his sense of humour draining away before tea had even been served. Oh, Kouyuu's angry blushes and flustered attempts to bat their wandering hands away still amused Shuuei far more than they should have, but beneath it all there was an underlying coldness that Shuuei wasn't familiar with. He wasn't used to seeing other people fawn over Kouyuu, normally it was the other way around.
And it went on for almost an hour, before one of the painted butterflies went too far after Kouyuu had just finished off his third bottle of wine by attempting to 'share' the sweet taste of the alcohol with him. Shuuei offered artificial apologies that no-one really seemed to buy as he rushed off after the fleeing form of his best friend, the relief washing over him in waves as he trotted down the steps and onto the street below. It didn't take him long to catch up with the stumbling form of his best friend, who somehow managed to stalk angrily down the main pathway even as he swayed slightly from side to side.
"I don't know why you thought that this place could possibly be of any help," Kouyuu angrily stated as Shuuei caught up with him. He didn't bother to correctly point out that this whole trip had been entirely Kouyuu's idea. "The women here are ridiculous." Stomp. "Without morals." Stomp. "The worst kind of merchants." Sto-wait. Stumble. "Why anyone-" Kouyuu spared Shuuei a withering glare before turning his focus steadfast back to the path ahead of him least he trip on any invisible obstacles again. "-would ever come to such a place I have no idea." Stomp. "And it was somehow supposed to help?" A touch of desperateness slipped into Kouyuu's tone with the last word, and Shuuei noticed with a sad smile that small tremors were running through Kouyuu's frame. Kouyuu had earnestly wanted this to work, and not simply because Kouyuu had decided that it was something Reishin wanted, Shuuei was slowly starting to realise. There was too much hurt in the way Kouyuu was barely holding himself together for this just to be about some throw away comment, even one made by Reishin. But then, throw away comments always seemed to amass into something bigger, more hurtful when Kouyuu was concerned. It had been the constant offhand comments about how Kouyuu couldn't possibly be worthy of Reishin when they were sitting their exams that had deeply scarred Kouyuu and driven a wedge between himself and the other students, just as it was their casual commentary on how Shuuei had simply taken pity on the younger boy that had made befriending Kouyuu so difficult. Kouyuu was never good enough for anyone, not Reishin or Shuuei, not - as they got older - anyone in a more romantic sense. The fact that it was Kouyuu who turned down suitors didn't stop the constant trickle of comments. After all, people desired Kouyuu for his position as potential heir to the Kou estate as opposed to any more base reason.
Or, in less political terms: Kouyuu hadn't rejected them all enmass, they'd simply never wanted him, anyway. Considering the heated letters that Shuuei had found scrunched up on Kouyuu's desk, Shuuei found the mere thought laughable. No-one ever bothered to look deeper into the reasons why Kouyuu froze under the touch of others, or how he found the mere thought of a relationship with anyone (romantic or not, Shuuei thought dryly) almost terrifyingly foreign. Why would they, when it was so much easier to describe Kouyuu as frigid and unworthy?
"You're right, I really should have known better," Shuuei said with a smile he didn't quite feel. "Will you ever forgive me for dragging you out here?"
"Hmph." Was Kouyuu's only response, other than the stomp, stomp, stomp that accompanied the sound. "Hmph." When Kouyuu spoke again, his quiet, empty voice chilled Shuuei to the bone. "I don't, I don't know what is wrong with me. Why can't I-" Kouyuu broke off as he spun to face Shuuei, the hurt and vulnerability so deeply ingrained into him that Shuuei momentarily lost the ability to breathe. It was only ever in moments like this that Kouyuu was ever truly honest with Shuuei, and sometimes they were moments that were almost too much for Shuuei to deal with. "The thought of their hands or lips..." Kouyuu shook his head roughly, his ponytail whipping in an arch behind him. "I don't want them, any of them. I can't, I can't trust them. I don't want to trust them."
And Kouyuu was drunk, so drunk on alcohol and perfume and the bitter bite of failure that Shuuei thought that the other man has almost come all the way back to sober again. Kouyuu almost felt sober when Shuuei suddenly, lazily spun him into an alleyway and pressed him against one of the dark, dirty walls, although the illusion was lost the moment Shuuei slipped his tongue into Kouyuu's mouth and tasted exactly how not sober his best friend was.
"Shuuei, get off!" The mixture of horror and shock in Kouyuu's voice was diluted by the slight slur that accompanied his words, leaving behind a faint trace of uncertainty that Shuuei chose to focus on even as Kouyuu tried to escape by ducking angrily out of his hold. "What in the world-" Kouyuu stumbled in the dark, and it was the only invitation Shuuei needed to wrap his arms around Kouyuu while steadying him. Shuuei knew that he was a little drunk himself - just a touch, always just a touch after visiting the fine girls of the red light district - but he was not drunk enough to excuse what he said next.
"Trust me then, Kouyuu." Kouyuu, in one of those 'back to sober' moments that kept throwing Shuuei off balance, seemed to know exactly what Shuuei was proposing even before Shuuei's hand wove themselves deep into the fold of Kouyuu's robes and bent in for another, deliberate kiss. But sober Kouyuu would have had the reflexes to irritatingly push him away once again before Shuuei had the chance to whisper his damning conclusion huskily into Kouyuu's ear. "You do trust me, don't you?"
Shuuei knew how unfair the words were the moment he spoke them, and there was a flicker of betrayal in Kouyuu's eyes that his alcohol laden gaze couldn't quite mask. It was a silent challenge that didn't simply dare Kouyuu to deny that he trusted Shuuei more than anyone else in the world, but stripped away all the reasons why Kouyuu hadn't been able to fulfil Reishin's twisted request in the first place.
But it was more than loyalty and family and Kouyuu's constant feelings of unworthiness, Shuuei told himself as he booked them into a somewhat clean room in a somewhat classy part of the district. They'd been stumbling towards this for years, with Shuuei flirting and joking and always, always being there, and Kouyuu rebuffing and denying it all at every turn but never once truly pushing Shuuei away. It was so ingrained into them both that neither of them knew how to move forward, and as Shuuei's lips found Kouyuu's once more as he stumbled to open the door to their room, it became more than apparent that he wasn't the only who had grown 'frustrated' by the way their relationship had stalled.
Kouyuu wanted this just as much as Shuuei did. It was just that he needed a little bit of a push.
Push was exactly what Shuuei did when the door finally gave, sending Kouyuu sprawling onto the bed before his friend could change his mind. Shuuei hovered by the door, a wry smile curling at his lips as he quietly watched as Kouyuu righted himself on the sheets. The room was bathed in a soft red glow from the lamps outside, and with his hair straying rebelliously from it's usually tight ponytail and with his robes dishevelled, Kouyuu seemed to fit in far more with the image of the red light district than he really had any right to.
"You really are the most beautiful person I've ever known," he said finally with a lazily smile. It was the wrong thing to say as it shook Kouyuu momentarily from his drunken haze.
"Shuuei, this is ridiculous. We shouldn't-" Kouyuu broke off abruptly, his hand flying to his forehead as he started to sway slightly where he sat on the bed. Shuuei was instantly at his side, slowly taking Kouyuu's hand and pressing his lips against the pale knuckles. Kouyuu seemed to freeze at Shuuei's touch, unable to look away. It was easy then to rain kisses down along the curve of Kouyuu's jaw as he languidly lowered him down into the mattress, and while Kouyuu muttered obscenities against his neck, his words were in direct contrast to the way his arms snaked around Shuuei's shoulders.
"Beautiful," he murmured again against Kouyuu's ear when the younger man was laying beneath him, and again the word had a different effect on Kouyuu than anyone else Shuuei had spoken it to. The tension rippled through Kouyuu in waves, and Shuuei had to quickly kiss away the response that threatened to come. He deepened the kiss as his hands dipped beneath Kouyuu's robes and ran with deliberately slowness up the other man's thighs. Kouyuu arched into the next kiss, one leg entangling with Shuuei's own almost on its own accord.
The next few moments passed in a heated blur. Shuuei had far too much practice when it came to freeing others (and himself) of complicated, fussy robes, and it was easy to distract Kouyuu with kisses and touches that became increasingly more intimate as he released Kouyuu from the last physical layer that kept Kouyuu from him. And, Kouyuu truly was beautiful even in the insipid light that spilt into the room. Shuuei had always possessively claimed Kouyuu's pale hair and strangely lit eyes as his own, but as he ran his hands other the smooth curve of Kouyuu's hips and explored the dip of pale skin at the base of Kouyuu's throat, it felt almost as though he was discovering his best friend for the first time. He slowly dragged his hand down along the flat plane of Kouyuu's stomach, then down further still ...
He expected the resistance that came next, and it was the only reason why he didn't end up a tangled heap on the floor. Kouyuu cursed him with dark, still slightly slurred words as Shuuei pinned his wrists above his head before stealing another sly kiss.
"Just relax," Shuuei said soothingly, although Kouyuu refused to do as he was told. "We've been heading towards this for years, Kouyuu. It would be silly to pretend otherwise."
"It's enough," Kouyuu replied as he struggled against Shuuei's grip. There was a quiet, childish plea in his voice that Shuuei had heard a hundred times before and that was evident even through Kouyuu's drunken confusion. "This ... this is enough."
"Just as it was enough that you would allow me to simply study in the same room as you when we were sitting the exams," Shuuei teasingly replied as he dipped in for a quick kiss. "Or enough that we would occasionally speak to each other if work permitted." Kouyuu had built up a hundred different 'enoughs' over the years, and it had always been Shuuei's role to break each one of them down. "I want you," he drawled, and this time Kouyuu did still beneath him. "I want you desperately. I always have."
"Shuuei..." Even if Kouyuu still hadn't been largely drunk, Shuuei doubted he could have found the words he was after.
"Don't you think I've waited for you long enough?" It was the first real sign that Shuuei wasn't quite as sober as he had thought he was, as the words held a bitter honesty that was unlike him. This time when Shuuei bent down and kissed him, Kouyuu's lips parted passively beneath his.
"I'm sorry," Kouyuu whispered hoarsely as Shuuei's hands resumed their exploration. "I'm sorry."
"Shhh," Shuuei murmured as Kouyuu started to quietly shake beneath him, another 'sorry' pressed with drunken desperateness against his ear. "It's all right. I forgive you. Let me show you just how much."
***
When Shuuei woke the next morning, Kouyuu was already gone.
Author: Cairnsy.
Rating: PG-13.
Word count: 2800
Prompt: 51. Saiunkoku Monogatari, Shuuei/Kouyuu: First time, dubious consent - the aftermath of a redlight district adventure.
Summary: A visit to the red-light district has consequences for Shuuei and Kouyuu's relationship. Shuuei/Kouyuu.
A/N: I will finish all my SK prompts if it's the death of me ^_^.
It was almost ridiculously unfair, Shuuei thought wryly as he waited for Kouyuu at the entrance of the red light district, that he was taking Kouyuu out so that his best friend could pay to sleep with someone who wasn't him. If Kouyuu insisted on parting with his money for sexual services then Shuuei was more than willing to charge Kouyuu a minimal fee to satisfy that particular kink, but Reishin had been really rather specific in his blasé attempt to get Kouyuu out of the house so that he could engage in his own sexual activities. Kouyuu had been too angry at Reishin to get across perfectly exactly what Reishin had said, but Shuuei gathered that it had something to do with Reishin not being able to marry off a son who didn't have at least a basic acquaintance with the female form. Shuuei highly doubted that Reishin had meant his dry comment to be interpreted quite this literally (in fact, Shuuei was positive that he'd simply meant to anger Kouyuu enough that he'd spend the night sulking at Shuuei's), but Shuuei didn't intend to interfere on Reishin's behalf. Besides, Kouyuu had been really quite insistent.
It was thankfully a fine evening, as Kouyuu's coach arrived almost half an hour later than Kouyuu had irritably promised it would. Kouyuu did not so much as step out of it as he did tumble from it, but Shuuei had known Kouyuu far too long to not suspect the reason why his friend was so late and was right there to catch him.
"This is all your fault," Kouyuu muttered as he righted himself and brushed passed Shuuei. Shuuei was almost impressed, Kouyuu hadn't drunken nearly as much as Shuuei had thought he might before coming out. There was a slightly tipsy feel to his best friend that wasn't misplaced on someone heading to the red light district for the first time, and as long as Kouyuu had dressed appropriately-
Shuuei dated stunningly beautiful people all the time - he slept with stunningly beautiful people all the time - and so it was ridiculous the way his breath caught in his throat when Kouyuu turned around and waited for Shuuei to catch up with him. The deep black of Kouyuu's robe was offset by the pink trim that softened any hardness that the dark colour may have otherwise had, while still bringing a strange warmth to Kouyuu's usually pale hair and eyes. Shuuei had been unashamedly attracted to his best friend for years, and yet there was something about seeing Kouyuu's quiet, understated elegance amongst the gaudiness of the red light district that somehow made Kouyuu that much more-
Of course, the image was somewhat lost when Kouyuu scowled impatiently at him like that.
"Let's go in, shall we?"
They lasted an hour. When Kouyuu didn't stormed out the moment someone had dared utter a degrading compliment at him, Shuuei realised with a start that this was something that Kouyuu desperately wanted to go through with. It had taken years before his closest friend had even become comfortable with Shuuei's casual touches, and so the thought of Kouyuu actually seeking out the physical caresses of others was almost disconcerting, especially as Shuuei knew that Kouyuu's motivations were not his own. The hold that Reishin held over his young son at times terrified Shuuei, and as Kouyuu looked desperately lost (not to mentioned a touch terrified) as they wove deeper in the hallowed halls of Kochou's establishment, Shuuei briefly wondered if perhaps now would be a good time to abort their 'mission'.
The problem was, if Shuuei did do that then he would lose out on the opportunity of seeing Kouyuu having to fend off the advances of several of Kochou's finest girls, and that was something Shuuei would normally be willing to pay to see. He'd save Kouyuu from the wandering hands of women (and men, if Shuuei knew Kochou at all after all these years) once Shuuei had gathered enough material to tease Kouyuu with for at least a year.
That had, at least, been Shuuei's intentions. However, after watching prettily made up whores paw at Kouyuu as though he was some novelty attraction, Shuuei found his sense of humour draining away before tea had even been served. Oh, Kouyuu's angry blushes and flustered attempts to bat their wandering hands away still amused Shuuei far more than they should have, but beneath it all there was an underlying coldness that Shuuei wasn't familiar with. He wasn't used to seeing other people fawn over Kouyuu, normally it was the other way around.
And it went on for almost an hour, before one of the painted butterflies went too far after Kouyuu had just finished off his third bottle of wine by attempting to 'share' the sweet taste of the alcohol with him. Shuuei offered artificial apologies that no-one really seemed to buy as he rushed off after the fleeing form of his best friend, the relief washing over him in waves as he trotted down the steps and onto the street below. It didn't take him long to catch up with the stumbling form of his best friend, who somehow managed to stalk angrily down the main pathway even as he swayed slightly from side to side.
"I don't know why you thought that this place could possibly be of any help," Kouyuu angrily stated as Shuuei caught up with him. He didn't bother to correctly point out that this whole trip had been entirely Kouyuu's idea. "The women here are ridiculous." Stomp. "Without morals." Stomp. "The worst kind of merchants." Sto-wait. Stumble. "Why anyone-" Kouyuu spared Shuuei a withering glare before turning his focus steadfast back to the path ahead of him least he trip on any invisible obstacles again. "-would ever come to such a place I have no idea." Stomp. "And it was somehow supposed to help?" A touch of desperateness slipped into Kouyuu's tone with the last word, and Shuuei noticed with a sad smile that small tremors were running through Kouyuu's frame. Kouyuu had earnestly wanted this to work, and not simply because Kouyuu had decided that it was something Reishin wanted, Shuuei was slowly starting to realise. There was too much hurt in the way Kouyuu was barely holding himself together for this just to be about some throw away comment, even one made by Reishin. But then, throw away comments always seemed to amass into something bigger, more hurtful when Kouyuu was concerned. It had been the constant offhand comments about how Kouyuu couldn't possibly be worthy of Reishin when they were sitting their exams that had deeply scarred Kouyuu and driven a wedge between himself and the other students, just as it was their casual commentary on how Shuuei had simply taken pity on the younger boy that had made befriending Kouyuu so difficult. Kouyuu was never good enough for anyone, not Reishin or Shuuei, not - as they got older - anyone in a more romantic sense. The fact that it was Kouyuu who turned down suitors didn't stop the constant trickle of comments. After all, people desired Kouyuu for his position as potential heir to the Kou estate as opposed to any more base reason.
Or, in less political terms: Kouyuu hadn't rejected them all enmass, they'd simply never wanted him, anyway. Considering the heated letters that Shuuei had found scrunched up on Kouyuu's desk, Shuuei found the mere thought laughable. No-one ever bothered to look deeper into the reasons why Kouyuu froze under the touch of others, or how he found the mere thought of a relationship with anyone (romantic or not, Shuuei thought dryly) almost terrifyingly foreign. Why would they, when it was so much easier to describe Kouyuu as frigid and unworthy?
"You're right, I really should have known better," Shuuei said with a smile he didn't quite feel. "Will you ever forgive me for dragging you out here?"
"Hmph." Was Kouyuu's only response, other than the stomp, stomp, stomp that accompanied the sound. "Hmph." When Kouyuu spoke again, his quiet, empty voice chilled Shuuei to the bone. "I don't, I don't know what is wrong with me. Why can't I-" Kouyuu broke off as he spun to face Shuuei, the hurt and vulnerability so deeply ingrained into him that Shuuei momentarily lost the ability to breathe. It was only ever in moments like this that Kouyuu was ever truly honest with Shuuei, and sometimes they were moments that were almost too much for Shuuei to deal with. "The thought of their hands or lips..." Kouyuu shook his head roughly, his ponytail whipping in an arch behind him. "I don't want them, any of them. I can't, I can't trust them. I don't want to trust them."
And Kouyuu was drunk, so drunk on alcohol and perfume and the bitter bite of failure that Shuuei thought that the other man has almost come all the way back to sober again. Kouyuu almost felt sober when Shuuei suddenly, lazily spun him into an alleyway and pressed him against one of the dark, dirty walls, although the illusion was lost the moment Shuuei slipped his tongue into Kouyuu's mouth and tasted exactly how not sober his best friend was.
"Shuuei, get off!" The mixture of horror and shock in Kouyuu's voice was diluted by the slight slur that accompanied his words, leaving behind a faint trace of uncertainty that Shuuei chose to focus on even as Kouyuu tried to escape by ducking angrily out of his hold. "What in the world-" Kouyuu stumbled in the dark, and it was the only invitation Shuuei needed to wrap his arms around Kouyuu while steadying him. Shuuei knew that he was a little drunk himself - just a touch, always just a touch after visiting the fine girls of the red light district - but he was not drunk enough to excuse what he said next.
"Trust me then, Kouyuu." Kouyuu, in one of those 'back to sober' moments that kept throwing Shuuei off balance, seemed to know exactly what Shuuei was proposing even before Shuuei's hand wove themselves deep into the fold of Kouyuu's robes and bent in for another, deliberate kiss. But sober Kouyuu would have had the reflexes to irritatingly push him away once again before Shuuei had the chance to whisper his damning conclusion huskily into Kouyuu's ear. "You do trust me, don't you?"
Shuuei knew how unfair the words were the moment he spoke them, and there was a flicker of betrayal in Kouyuu's eyes that his alcohol laden gaze couldn't quite mask. It was a silent challenge that didn't simply dare Kouyuu to deny that he trusted Shuuei more than anyone else in the world, but stripped away all the reasons why Kouyuu hadn't been able to fulfil Reishin's twisted request in the first place.
But it was more than loyalty and family and Kouyuu's constant feelings of unworthiness, Shuuei told himself as he booked them into a somewhat clean room in a somewhat classy part of the district. They'd been stumbling towards this for years, with Shuuei flirting and joking and always, always being there, and Kouyuu rebuffing and denying it all at every turn but never once truly pushing Shuuei away. It was so ingrained into them both that neither of them knew how to move forward, and as Shuuei's lips found Kouyuu's once more as he stumbled to open the door to their room, it became more than apparent that he wasn't the only who had grown 'frustrated' by the way their relationship had stalled.
Kouyuu wanted this just as much as Shuuei did. It was just that he needed a little bit of a push.
Push was exactly what Shuuei did when the door finally gave, sending Kouyuu sprawling onto the bed before his friend could change his mind. Shuuei hovered by the door, a wry smile curling at his lips as he quietly watched as Kouyuu righted himself on the sheets. The room was bathed in a soft red glow from the lamps outside, and with his hair straying rebelliously from it's usually tight ponytail and with his robes dishevelled, Kouyuu seemed to fit in far more with the image of the red light district than he really had any right to.
"You really are the most beautiful person I've ever known," he said finally with a lazily smile. It was the wrong thing to say as it shook Kouyuu momentarily from his drunken haze.
"Shuuei, this is ridiculous. We shouldn't-" Kouyuu broke off abruptly, his hand flying to his forehead as he started to sway slightly where he sat on the bed. Shuuei was instantly at his side, slowly taking Kouyuu's hand and pressing his lips against the pale knuckles. Kouyuu seemed to freeze at Shuuei's touch, unable to look away. It was easy then to rain kisses down along the curve of Kouyuu's jaw as he languidly lowered him down into the mattress, and while Kouyuu muttered obscenities against his neck, his words were in direct contrast to the way his arms snaked around Shuuei's shoulders.
"Beautiful," he murmured again against Kouyuu's ear when the younger man was laying beneath him, and again the word had a different effect on Kouyuu than anyone else Shuuei had spoken it to. The tension rippled through Kouyuu in waves, and Shuuei had to quickly kiss away the response that threatened to come. He deepened the kiss as his hands dipped beneath Kouyuu's robes and ran with deliberately slowness up the other man's thighs. Kouyuu arched into the next kiss, one leg entangling with Shuuei's own almost on its own accord.
The next few moments passed in a heated blur. Shuuei had far too much practice when it came to freeing others (and himself) of complicated, fussy robes, and it was easy to distract Kouyuu with kisses and touches that became increasingly more intimate as he released Kouyuu from the last physical layer that kept Kouyuu from him. And, Kouyuu truly was beautiful even in the insipid light that spilt into the room. Shuuei had always possessively claimed Kouyuu's pale hair and strangely lit eyes as his own, but as he ran his hands other the smooth curve of Kouyuu's hips and explored the dip of pale skin at the base of Kouyuu's throat, it felt almost as though he was discovering his best friend for the first time. He slowly dragged his hand down along the flat plane of Kouyuu's stomach, then down further still ...
He expected the resistance that came next, and it was the only reason why he didn't end up a tangled heap on the floor. Kouyuu cursed him with dark, still slightly slurred words as Shuuei pinned his wrists above his head before stealing another sly kiss.
"Just relax," Shuuei said soothingly, although Kouyuu refused to do as he was told. "We've been heading towards this for years, Kouyuu. It would be silly to pretend otherwise."
"It's enough," Kouyuu replied as he struggled against Shuuei's grip. There was a quiet, childish plea in his voice that Shuuei had heard a hundred times before and that was evident even through Kouyuu's drunken confusion. "This ... this is enough."
"Just as it was enough that you would allow me to simply study in the same room as you when we were sitting the exams," Shuuei teasingly replied as he dipped in for a quick kiss. "Or enough that we would occasionally speak to each other if work permitted." Kouyuu had built up a hundred different 'enoughs' over the years, and it had always been Shuuei's role to break each one of them down. "I want you," he drawled, and this time Kouyuu did still beneath him. "I want you desperately. I always have."
"Shuuei..." Even if Kouyuu still hadn't been largely drunk, Shuuei doubted he could have found the words he was after.
"Don't you think I've waited for you long enough?" It was the first real sign that Shuuei wasn't quite as sober as he had thought he was, as the words held a bitter honesty that was unlike him. This time when Shuuei bent down and kissed him, Kouyuu's lips parted passively beneath his.
"I'm sorry," Kouyuu whispered hoarsely as Shuuei's hands resumed their exploration. "I'm sorry."
"Shhh," Shuuei murmured as Kouyuu started to quietly shake beneath him, another 'sorry' pressed with drunken desperateness against his ear. "It's all right. I forgive you. Let me show you just how much."
When Shuuei woke the next morning, Kouyuu was already gone.
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