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kinkfestTitle: The Pirate and the Thief
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
raisedbymoogles
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Word Count: 861
Summary: Getting arrested makes strange bedfellows.
Prompt: Final Fantasy IX/Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack and Zidane: banter - "You've got a tail" "You've got a hat"
A/N: I'm not sure where this fits in to either of their timelines... although in Jack's case you could probably stick it anywhere. XD
The blond scrap of a youth was thrust into Jack Sparrow's personal cell without so much as a by-your-leave-Captain; he skid across the damp floor, turned and lunged at the door just as it clanged shut in his face. He - or she, with that delicate face and pretty hair it could have been either - reeled back with a series of curses, prompting a chuckle from his new cellmate.
The blond whirled on him. "What?"
Jack didn't let his smile fade as he examined the newcomer - clean and well-groomed for a commoner, but a commoner nonetheless. Even if his command of foul language didn't tell the tale, the calluses and small scars on his hands spoke loud and clear. And there was another odd little detail, which Jack in his sun-starved stupor couldn't quite catch...
"You've got a tail," Jack pointed out lazily.
The blond quickly whisked his monkeylike tail out of sight. "You've got a hat."
And thus, all available topics of conversation were exhausted.
***
His new cellmate was called Zidane, Jack gathered from the blond's conversations with the guards; no last name, or none he was willing to reveal. He was in the clink for thievery, though what exactly he'd stolen... well, neither Zidane nor the guards would mention it by name, which only served to make Jack interested.
"I don't suppose you'd tell me what you stole if I said pretty please," he offered with a wary grin.
Zidane shot him a darkling look, then sighed and threaded skinny arms through the bars of their cell. Leaning his forehead against the damp iron, he muttered, "A princess's heart."
"Ah." Jack's grin turned knowing. "It's always the pretty maiden who wraps the noose around your neck in the end, isn't it? Now myself, I'll hang as a pirate, but not 'til I'm well ready, savvy?"
Zidane looked like he was ready to snap at him, but after a moment he just raised an eyebrow. "You're on death row same as me. Are you ready now?"
Jack tipped his hat to Zidane in acknowledgement. "Let's just say I'm not resigned yet."
***
The guard had made three things perfectly clear: he was a) drunk, b) disgruntled with his lot in life, and c) did we mention drunk?
"Listen, can't we talk this over?" Zidane was babbling to the rum-soaked louse who currently had him by the collar through the bars. "I know I'm a rotten criminal bound for the gallows and all, but I didn't make your girlfriend leave-"
"No, that would be the blighter's breath," Jack put in.
Zidane hissed at him. "You're not helping!"
"Pirate," Jack pointed out.
Meanwhile, the guard seemed to have run out of brilliant observations - or maybe he was just awed by Jack's unassailable logic. Dropping Zidane without ceremony, he stumbled away muttering something about his wayward girlfriend.
"Like I said," Jack opined when he was gone, "always the pretty maiden."
"Pff. I'm beginning to doubt your experience with pretty maidens." Zidane hauled himself up off the floor and brushed his clothes down. "Besides, that moron's problem wasn't dames - it was drink. Someone really ought to cut him off." With a mischievous grin, Zidane produced something small and shining out of his pocket.
Jack's eyes lit up. "More than likely he'll be back for his spirits," he pointed out.
"All the more reason for us to make it disappear." Zidane uncorked the small brown bottle - half-empty already, and smelling of the cheapest liquor even from where Jack stood - and toasted his cellmate with it. "To temperance!" He took a swig and coughed. "That's foul," he complained, passing it over.
"To temperance," Jack agreed quietly, and took a generous swallow of his own. It was foul, but Jack had been too long without alcohol of any kind, and he didn't care.
***
Executions had always been a spectator sport. Jack, bereft of a window low enough for him to peek through, could only listen as the crowd outside roared and stomped for his cellmate's life.
Zidane had been taken away perhaps half an hour ago; the official types were as eager as the rabble for criminals' deaths, it seemed, and no doubt Jack would be next. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, shifting the empty bottle from hand to hand.
The noise stilled to a low, reverberating murmur; took a breath and held it; then exploded again in ringing cacaphony.
Jack's eyes flew open. That was no celebration at the death of a hated enemy; that was a roar of surprise and rage, shot through with deliciously womanly shrieks of terror. Through it all, Jack thought he could hear a bright, sunny laugh.
Clearly, something had gone Awry at the gallows, and there was at least one little monkey who wouldn't be getting sent to the big banana tree in the sky. Jack grinned and doffed his hat at the empty cell. "Farewell, my friend - and don't think you've outclassed me." He tossed the bottle up and caught it neatly. "You'll always remember this as the day you almost made a grander exit than Captain Jack Sparrow."
Author:
raisedbymooglesRating: PG
Warnings: none
Word Count: 861
Summary: Getting arrested makes strange bedfellows.
Prompt: Final Fantasy IX/Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack and Zidane: banter - "You've got a tail" "You've got a hat"
A/N: I'm not sure where this fits in to either of their timelines... although in Jack's case you could probably stick it anywhere. XD
The blond scrap of a youth was thrust into Jack Sparrow's personal cell without so much as a by-your-leave-Captain; he skid across the damp floor, turned and lunged at the door just as it clanged shut in his face. He - or she, with that delicate face and pretty hair it could have been either - reeled back with a series of curses, prompting a chuckle from his new cellmate.
The blond whirled on him. "What?"
Jack didn't let his smile fade as he examined the newcomer - clean and well-groomed for a commoner, but a commoner nonetheless. Even if his command of foul language didn't tell the tale, the calluses and small scars on his hands spoke loud and clear. And there was another odd little detail, which Jack in his sun-starved stupor couldn't quite catch...
"You've got a tail," Jack pointed out lazily.
The blond quickly whisked his monkeylike tail out of sight. "You've got a hat."
And thus, all available topics of conversation were exhausted.
***
His new cellmate was called Zidane, Jack gathered from the blond's conversations with the guards; no last name, or none he was willing to reveal. He was in the clink for thievery, though what exactly he'd stolen... well, neither Zidane nor the guards would mention it by name, which only served to make Jack interested.
"I don't suppose you'd tell me what you stole if I said pretty please," he offered with a wary grin.
Zidane shot him a darkling look, then sighed and threaded skinny arms through the bars of their cell. Leaning his forehead against the damp iron, he muttered, "A princess's heart."
"Ah." Jack's grin turned knowing. "It's always the pretty maiden who wraps the noose around your neck in the end, isn't it? Now myself, I'll hang as a pirate, but not 'til I'm well ready, savvy?"
Zidane looked like he was ready to snap at him, but after a moment he just raised an eyebrow. "You're on death row same as me. Are you ready now?"
Jack tipped his hat to Zidane in acknowledgement. "Let's just say I'm not resigned yet."
***
The guard had made three things perfectly clear: he was a) drunk, b) disgruntled with his lot in life, and c) did we mention drunk?
"Listen, can't we talk this over?" Zidane was babbling to the rum-soaked louse who currently had him by the collar through the bars. "I know I'm a rotten criminal bound for the gallows and all, but I didn't make your girlfriend leave-"
"No, that would be the blighter's breath," Jack put in.
Zidane hissed at him. "You're not helping!"
"Pirate," Jack pointed out.
Meanwhile, the guard seemed to have run out of brilliant observations - or maybe he was just awed by Jack's unassailable logic. Dropping Zidane without ceremony, he stumbled away muttering something about his wayward girlfriend.
"Like I said," Jack opined when he was gone, "always the pretty maiden."
"Pff. I'm beginning to doubt your experience with pretty maidens." Zidane hauled himself up off the floor and brushed his clothes down. "Besides, that moron's problem wasn't dames - it was drink. Someone really ought to cut him off." With a mischievous grin, Zidane produced something small and shining out of his pocket.
Jack's eyes lit up. "More than likely he'll be back for his spirits," he pointed out.
"All the more reason for us to make it disappear." Zidane uncorked the small brown bottle - half-empty already, and smelling of the cheapest liquor even from where Jack stood - and toasted his cellmate with it. "To temperance!" He took a swig and coughed. "That's foul," he complained, passing it over.
"To temperance," Jack agreed quietly, and took a generous swallow of his own. It was foul, but Jack had been too long without alcohol of any kind, and he didn't care.
***
Executions had always been a spectator sport. Jack, bereft of a window low enough for him to peek through, could only listen as the crowd outside roared and stomped for his cellmate's life.
Zidane had been taken away perhaps half an hour ago; the official types were as eager as the rabble for criminals' deaths, it seemed, and no doubt Jack would be next. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, shifting the empty bottle from hand to hand.
The noise stilled to a low, reverberating murmur; took a breath and held it; then exploded again in ringing cacaphony.
Jack's eyes flew open. That was no celebration at the death of a hated enemy; that was a roar of surprise and rage, shot through with deliciously womanly shrieks of terror. Through it all, Jack thought he could hear a bright, sunny laugh.
Clearly, something had gone Awry at the gallows, and there was at least one little monkey who wouldn't be getting sent to the big banana tree in the sky. Jack grinned and doffed his hat at the empty cell. "Farewell, my friend - and don't think you've outclassed me." He tossed the bottle up and caught it neatly. "You'll always remember this as the day you almost made a grander exit than Captain Jack Sparrow."
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no subject
Date: 2007-10-29 07:51 pm (UTC)Oh god, for a second I thought you had been going to kill Zidane off at the end, and then you didn't, and I'm so relieved and so in love with you for it!
"And thus, all available topics of conversation were exhausted." <- this line had me snickering like crazy but by and large it was the whole feel of this thing that had me happy, the thievery, the "Oh god, women T_T", the distinctly Monkey Island feel of it though I don't know if you're familiar with that series. I adore it.
Thank you so much for doing it :D.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-29 08:43 pm (UTC)I'm not familiar with Monkey Island, I'm afraid. But from what I hear of it, I'm flattered you got that vibe! :D
no subject
Date: 2007-10-29 09:18 pm (UTC)FF9 needs all the love it can get. My first FF game and it holds a special spot in my fangirly heart. :)
I wonder what Zidane did to escape, and what Jack was going to do.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-29 11:30 pm (UTC)FF9 definitely needs more love. There's a disturbing lack of it online in general.
I wonder what Zidane did to escape, and what Jack was going to do.
Errr... you'll have to ask them. ^_^;;;
no subject
Date: 2007-10-29 09:32 pm (UTC)Zidane hissed at him. "You're not helping!"
"Pirate," Jack pointed out.
Love that. Don't know FF9, but Jack's spot on.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-29 11:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-29 10:00 pm (UTC)Isn't that true of Jack in most things? ;) And, Squee. XD
no subject
Date: 2007-10-29 11:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-30 01:38 pm (UTC)I like the idea of Jack being ambiguous because women were thought to be bad luck on ships and these pirates went to sea for years at a time. There is a possibility that one thing might lead to another. You're lonely, you have an extra ration of rum, 'Cabin boy!' :D
no subject
Date: 2007-10-30 01:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-30 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-30 06:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-30 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-30 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-11 09:24 am (UTC)How...? H-h-how...? How'd you do it? I clicked this thinking, Dear god, I hate crossovers. I clicked out of utter 'WTF'-ness, because a crossover of FFIX and PotC, I was convinced, could never work.
But, um, wow.
That was great. I mean, really great. Characterization was 150% win, and the opening dialogue - "You've got a tail." / "You've got a hat." - I just about spit my iced tea all over the screen.
So, um, wow. ^^ You've restored my faith in crossovers. XD
no subject
Date: 2007-11-11 04:46 pm (UTC)