"I think my Ginji-muse was terrified that I'd make Akabane do more to him than he did." So, let's talk about how delicious a terror-filled Ginji could be. . .Go Ooooonnnnn. . .
I am sooo deliriuosly happy with your story. Gryvon (www.gryvon.com) hooked me up with the link to your story after she read that I was downsing after Akabane/Ginji slash.
I cut and pasted many of your sentences to add to my 'I-Want-To-Use-In-Casual-Conversation-Quotes' book. For example, "And I, little eel, am not about to waste another ounce of my unrelenting charismatic grade-a top of the line macho-spiced man-sauce.' Another fav: 'They watched the transporter sashay outside, coat flowing with the twitches of his hips. “You can’t tell me that anybody who walks like that isn’t playing both sides of the fence,” Ban snorted to Ginji.'
(Still laughing here. . .In fact, I believe I had a goofy huge grin on my face the ENTIRE time I read your story. The grin evolved into a delighted giggle many times.)
I love the way you redefine words within your scenes. For example, instead of saying a boring 'withering look' you said, 'Ginji’s look could have peeled every inch of wallpaper from the Honky Tonk’s walls.' How colourful and fresh!
And your characters all came alive. For example, Ginji saying, "...eep?" when asked for his opoinion on the lube. And the way you ran the words together when Ginji was freaking out was fun word play. All the characters were believable in their behaviour.
The dinner scene was so much fun to read and *teasingly* hot to boot! Great build-up for sexual tension! I love the word play again with the emphasized double-meaning words. I was titilated. Especially the HARD part.
Great spin at the end!
My only complaint is more of a personal-taste than a critique of style. Ever seen "A History of Violence?" If you have, there is a scene where the main character and his wife have a strage choke-hold-complicated-emotions-with-a-heavy-side-of-kink violence goin' on in a staircase. . .I watch it over and over imagining it is Akabane and Ginji. . .
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"I think my Ginji-muse was terrified that I'd make Akabane do more to him than he did." So, let's talk about how delicious a terror-filled Ginji could be. . .Go Ooooonnnnn. . .
I am sooo deliriuosly happy with your story. Gryvon (www.gryvon.com) hooked me up with the link to your story after she read that I was downsing after Akabane/Ginji slash.
I cut and pasted many of your sentences to add to my 'I-Want-To-Use-In-Casual-Conversation-Quotes' book. For example, "And I, little eel, am not about to waste another ounce of my unrelenting charismatic grade-a top of the line macho-spiced man-sauce.' Another fav: 'They watched the transporter sashay outside, coat flowing with the twitches of his hips. “You can’t tell me that anybody who walks like that isn’t playing both sides of the fence,” Ban snorted to Ginji.'
(Still laughing here. . .In fact, I believe I had a goofy huge grin on my face the ENTIRE time I read your story. The grin evolved into a delighted giggle many times.)
I love the way you redefine words within your scenes. For example, instead of saying a boring 'withering look' you said, 'Ginji’s look could have peeled every inch of wallpaper from the Honky Tonk’s walls.' How colourful and fresh!
And your characters all came alive. For example, Ginji saying, "...eep?" when asked for his opoinion on the lube. And the way you ran the words together when Ginji was freaking out was fun word play. All the characters were believable in their behaviour.
The dinner scene was so much fun to read and *teasingly* hot to boot! Great build-up for sexual tension! I love the word play again with the emphasized double-meaning words. I was titilated. Especially the HARD part.
Great spin at the end!
My only complaint is more of a personal-taste than a critique of style. Ever seen "A History of Violence?" If you have, there is a scene where the main character and his wife have a strage choke-hold-complicated-emotions-with-a-heavy-side-of-kink violence goin' on in a staircase. . .I watch it over and over imagining it is Akabane and Ginji. . .
Thanks for sharing!