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kinkfestTitle: Good Influences
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
darknightrain
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Porn, some swearing.
Word count: 3,456
Prompt: Junjou Romantica, Nowaki/Hiroki: The one time Hiroki really wanted it but Nowaki didn't - "I'm sorry, I'm just..."
A/N:dshae47 is my forever beta.
"I'm home," whispered Nowaki as he stepped inside the dark apartment. It was mostly out of habit, since it was late at night and he was sure his lover would already be in bed.
"Ah... Nowaki, welcome home..." Hiroki's voice came softly and unexpectedly from the living room, causing Nowaki to drop his briefcase and lab coat on the floor and dash across the corridor to check on him.
"Hiro-san, are you all right?!"
"Ehh?"
"What are you doing awake at this hour? And in this..." Nowaki trailed off, finally paying attention to Hiroki's state. He was sprawled over the couch, his shirt and tie half undone, and his hair a mess.
Hiroki sat up with a bit of effort and stared at him for a long minute. "What timessit?"
He also reeked of alcohol and tobacco.
"Almost four in the morning."
"Whoa, already...?"
Nowaki sighed and sat down next to him. "Are you sure you're okay?"
Hiroki stiffened, feeling Nowaki's arm around his shoulders pulling him close. "What the— of course I am." He reached for the glass of water that was sitting on the table and gave it a long sip. "Was planning to watch some TV... but then I fell asleep."
"Hiro-san, as cute as ever." Nowaki allowed himself to chuckle now that he was certain nothing bad had happened.
"S-Shut up, you idiot!" Hiroki winced a little as he accidentally slammed the glass against the table.
"Mm, sorry." Nowaki shifted in order to nuzzle the other man's neck. Hiroki let out a low whine, though the way his own arms wrapped around Nowaki made it clear that he wasn't really complaining. Nowaki smiled, his hands now on Hiroki's waist, and made just the slightest motion so that Hiroki would be lying on his back again.
"Nowakiii, what are you doiiiing?" There was that whine again.
Nowaki ignored the question in favour of positioning himself on top of his lover. "So... I take it you had fun at the party?" Hiroki was being especially cooperative tonight, probably because of the alcohol, but Nowaki didn't want to miss this opportunity.
"Yeah, it was—fun, but, ah... mmh..."
"Mmh...?"
Hiroki thrust his hips forward, lazily. It was such an easy and rare movement, especially coming from him, that Nowaki couldn't help but moan under his breath.
"Ahh... you know," Hiroki mumbled. "Akihiko was being a jerk as always, boasting about his award and being all Hiroki, wouldn't it be nice if you invited me to one of your parties the next time and—"
And it was then that realization fell upon Nowaki. He was aware that Hiroki had gone out with Usami that night, and the only reason why he didn't join him was because there had been an emergency at the hospital, but...
"Nowaki...?"
But.
Hiroki grumped under his breath and pulled Nowaki's hips down towards his own. Nowaki, who was already hard, groaned in surprise. But he pulled away almost immediately.
"Hiro-san."
"Heyyy, what's your problem?" Hiroki demanded. "Don't be a tease, I'm not in the mood for that kind of thing now."
Nowaki took a deep breath and tried to sound as neutral as possible.
"I'm sorry, Hiro-san."
"Yeah, you better be. Come on, let's just do it alread—"
Nowaki interrupted him, his tone much firmer now. "I'm sorry, but I can't. Not right now." And with that, he raised from the couch and headed to the entrance again in order to pick up his discarded belongings.
"H-Hey, Nowaki! Nowaki! What the hell is your problem?!" Hiroki stood up with every intention of following after, but his stomach seemed to have other plans for him, so instead he put his hand to his mouth and staggered hurriedly into the bathroom.
*****
Hiroki woke up with a mortal headache and no recollection whatsoever of anything that happened after the fourth glass of wine the night before, though he could guess things had gotten kinda messy; the bathroom smelled like fresh pine and lemon. He grimaced as he downed a couple of aspirins.
"Good morning, Hiro-san," Nowaki greeted him when he stepped into the kitchen. "I have to run out in a few minutes, but breakfast is ready, if you're hungry."
Hiroki pulled out a chair to sit down, cursing at the noise it made when he dragged it across the floor. "You're going out...?" He croaked.
Nowaki hesitated for a moment before answering. "Something came up."
"Haah...?"
"I mentioned it before, but you probably forgot. It's okay, though. I shouldn't take long." He set the dishes on the table in front of Hiroki: juice, coffee, fried eggs with bacon, and toast.
"Where are you going?"
Still not making eye contact, Nowaki turned to hang his apron. "A conference. One of the doctors I met while I was in America will be giving it, so I don't want to miss it."
"Ahh."
"Yes."
Hiroki stared at his plate for a long time, poking at the food with his fork, before he finally decided to break the silence.
"Hey, Nowaki, about last night..."
Nowaki's cellphone rang.
"Yes? Ah, yes, I'm actually on my way out! I'll be there in ten minutes!" He hung up. "Sorry, Hiro-san, but I really need to get going. I'll see you later!"
Hiroki didn't even get a chance to wish him a good day before the apartment's door closed.
"So what?" He pouted, undignifiedly. "Maybe I drank too much last night, but that doesn't give him the right to act like that! If he's going to act all angry, he should at least tell me why! Stupid Nowaki."
By the time he decided to start eating, his breakfast had already gotten cold.
*****
"I'm sorry, Hiro-san, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Nowaki kept repeating this to himself like a mantra as he made his way to the hospital. It wasn't so much that he wanted to apologize for leaving like that, but that he didn't feel exactly guilty, and that just made him feel worse. He'd experienced this kind of feelings before, but that didn't mean he knew how to deal with them.
He started replaying what had happened last night in his mind for the fourth or fifth time that day. Really, it would have been so easy to take his lover right then and there, especially with him so willing, he shouldn't even have stopped to think about it... but it was getting to be too much to simply think of it as a coincidence.
Hiroki only ever wanted to have sex with him after seeing Usami.
He clenched his fists tight, because just thinking about it made all sorts of emotions swell up in his chest. Jealousy, confusion, anger, uncertainty, sadness, impotence...
It happened the night before, after that party. It happened a few weeks ago after they went out for coffee. It happened two months ago when Usami had bumped into him after work and driven him home. It happened on Hiroki's birthday when Usami had called, and it also happened when—
"Hey, you idiot! Watch where you're going!"
Nowaki was suddenly pulled back to reality by a car's loud honking and the realization that he'd almost been run over. He managed to stutter an apology that was promptly ignored as the driver sped through.
*****
Hiroki paced around the apartment, muttering to himself. "How long was that thing supposed to last? He could've at least texted me!"
He had spent half of the day lying in bed with the vain hope that his headache would go away, but he couldn't nap because the pain was too sharp, and it wouldn't go away either because he was too busy thinking and trying to understand what had caused Nowaki to act like that. The other half had been spent looking around the apartment for any traces of evidence that might help him figure out what, exactly, had gone down the previous night.... Even though he knew it was pointless, because Nowaki was Nowaki and he had clearly tidied up every little corner in the apartment, just like he'd done with the bathroom.
He gave the clock one last glance and picked up the phone to dial that number he knew by heart.
*****
Nowaki fished inside his pocket for the keys. He'd had no idea the hospital staff planned to hold a reception after the conference, and there'd been no way to excuse himself from it. And he would never admit it to himself, but there had been some kind of relief in finding out his cell phone had run out of battery. He figured that if he stayed for a while, he might be able to calm himself down, clear his mind, and approach the problem more rationally afterwards.
"—and that's why I'm asking you! What? No! Of course I know what happened! B-But if there's something I missed... uh, hang on." Hiroki covered the speaker with his hand and looked at Nowaki, his expression lighting up for all of two seconds. "There you are!"
"... I'm home," Nowaki mumbled, half-heartedly.
Hiroki switched back to his usual grumpy look. "Good. I was this close to calling the police."
He hated when Hiroki used that icy tone with him, it was one of those the things he wasn't sure he'd ever get used to. "Mm..." He took his shoes off and stepped inside. "My cell phone died and I wasn't carrying my charger with me."
"Bah, whatever." Hiroki shifted to speak into the phone again. "I have to go now, we'll talk later. ... How many times have I told you not to—? Akihiko, shut up!"
Nowaki could feel the entirety of his body tense up at the mention of the name; all of his thoughts from earlier flooded his mind once again.
"He's such an idiot." Hiroki dropped the phone on its base unceremoniously and turned to look at his lover. "What? Are you going to stand there all day? I'm still waiting for an explanation."
"There was a party, after the conference..." Nowaki remained still in place. "Sorry, I should have called."
"You should have. I was worried."
"Ah, Hiro-san..."
"Especially after this morning. What's gotten into you, anyway?"
Nowaki couldn't help but smile as Hiroki turned his back to him and sat on the couch, visibly trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. It was so hard to remain worried when Hiroki behaved like that.
"Well?" Hiroki insisted.
"Oh... ha ha," Nowaki chuckled. "It doesn't matter anymore." He took a few steps in order to close the distance between the entrance and the couch and sat next to Hiroki.
"I don't believe a word of that."
"I don't want to fight with Hiro-san."
Hiroki glared at him, arms tightly folded across his chest. "That means there's something we should be fighting over!"
"Hiro-san!"
"And obviously you're the one who's pissed here. Really, it would be so much easier if you'd just spit it out already..." Hiroki trailed off, his eyes opening wide. Like something had clicked inside his mind. "Oh, I knew it."
Nowaki blinked and waited for it, still not entirely sure if he wanted to hear what was coming next.
"Because of last night, right? I was too drunk and..."
"Hiro-san...? H-Hiro-san, what are you—?!"
In one swift movement, Hiroki had managed to position himself on top of Nowaki. He was now not only straddling him, but pushing his shoulders up against the couch and staring deep into his eyes.
"I'll make it up to you, and you get no say in the matter."
Even if Nowaki had wanted to say something it would have been complicated, with Hiroki's lips pressed against his own. He made a low noise and returned the kiss without thinking. He parted his lips for Hiroki and circled his waist with his arms, but instead of shifting closer, he felt Hiroki's hand slip down between them and press against the hardening bulge in his pants.
Normally, he wouldn't have minded, but this whole situation made the alarms in his brain go off again. He grabbed Hiroki's wrist firmly and pulled back from the kiss.
"... Nowaki?"
"Don't..." Nowaki breathed, trying to find the words.
Hiroki frowned. "I said I wouldn't accept any complaints."
"It's not..."
"Speak up, Nowaki." Hiroki's voice had switched to that edgy tone again. "I want to do it, but it's obvious you don't."
He closed his eyes, a hundred thoughts rushing through his mind. "It's not that I don't want to! But—"
"But?"
But no matter how hard he tried, the words simply refused to leave his throat. He let go of Hiroki's wrist, causing a mix of offense and hurt to show on his face.
Nowaki's voice was only audible because there were no other noises in the room. "Why...?"
"... Why what?"
"Why do you want to do it?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Hiroki's expression was slowly changing into anger. "Is this some kind of trick question? Ohh, or could it be, maybe...?" He snorted. "I didn't know you enjoyed dirty talk, but that still doesn't justify—"
"—Hiro-san." Nowaki cut him off before his words became even sharper.
"What is it?"
"Why do you only want to have sex with me after seeing him?"
It took a few seconds for Hiroki to speak, and when he did, he still sounded completely flabbergasted. "What?"
He knew backpedalling wouldn't do any good, now. Nowaki set his hands down next to his legs and brought his voice back to a normal volume. "It's the truth. It's only after you've been together, or talking on the phone, or after you've read one of his books, that..."
"Is this about Akihiko?" Hiroki paused, letting the meaning of Nowaki's words sink in. "Are you for real?" He grabbed Nowaki by the shirt and shook him once, firmly.
Nowaki's stare met Hiroki's wide eyes. "I'm not joking, Hiro-san."
Hiroki opened his mouth, then closed it without saying a word. He threw his arms in the air, gesturing in wild motions as if that would help him become magically articulate. He looked around the room, then back at Nowaki.
"What are you? Stupid?!"
"Hiro-san, pl—mmfgh!"
Hiroki grabbed a cushion from the couch and smacked his face with it. "What the hell?!" Again. "Why would you ever—?!" And again. "ARGH!" And again.
Nowaki, whose face was burning now, finally managed to snatch the cushion from Hiroki and throw it across the room. "Hiro-san, please!"
Hiroki stretched himself towards the other remaining cushion, fully determined to resume his task, but Nowaki managed to take hold of his arms and pulled him against his chest.
"W-What are you doing? I'm not done yet!"
"So what you're saying is I'm wrong?" Nowaki spoke quietly, slowly. "That you didn't try to do it with me all those times?"
Hiroki fell silent. Nowaki sighed and began stroking his hair. He could tell from Hiroki's reaction that his assumptions had been wrong, but he still wanted an explanation. Hiroki mumbled something against his shoulder.
"... Eh?"
"You're not wrong," he repeated, this time a little louder. "But that's not the reason why..."
Nowaki closed his eyes and he could clearly see Hiroki's cheeks turning bright pink as he spoke. He nodded in acknowledgement, but waited for Hiroki to resume talking.
"It's just. Akihiko is... He is still a very important person to me, but my feelings for him aren't the same anymore." Hiroki hooked his arms around Nowaki's neck and buried his face deeper against the crook of his neck. "But seeing him... when that kid is around and Akihiko kisses him so easily, or when he tells me about the things they do together... when I read the things he writes in his books..."
"Yes...?" Nowaki whispered, running one hand down Hiroki's back soothingly.
"I can't help but think about you. About us. I want to tell him to shut up and leave that moment and just... come home to be with you. I want to yell at his stupid self-insert characters and tell them how much better my life is. I want to touch you and be touched by you and melt together until I can't take it anymore..."
Nowaki inhaled sharply and tightened his grip on Hiroki. "Hiro-san..."
"That's..." Hiroki shivered. "That's why..."
"Hiro-san, I. What you just said... Is that true?"
"I'm not repeating myself."
Nowaki cupped Hiroki's face and tilted it upwards so that he could see his face. "That's one of the most amazing things you've said to me."
Hiroki looked away, embarassed. "Y-You always say the same dumb thing!"
"Because you just keep outdoing yourself."
Nowaki then moved in to kiss his lover, deeply and thoroughly, making Hiroki moan.
"N-Nowaki..."
"I hope you haven't changed your mind about what you said before," Nowaki smiled, "because I won't be able to contain myself much longer, Hiro-san." His hands travelled downwards as he said this, grasping Hiroki's ass and squeezing it.
Hiroki arched against the touch, baring his neck at the perfect angle for Nowaki to lean forward and begin kissing it. "Ahh... y-you idiot. Just. H-Hurry up and do it." He dragged his hands down Nowaki's sides and snuck his fingers under the shirt to feel the warm skin.
Meanwhile, Nowaki had already managed to both undo and tug down Hiroki's pants down to his knees. He was in the process of doing the same to his underwear, but things were starting to get a bit uncomfortable due to their position.
"Hiro-san..."
"Nnh...?"
"Could you please...?" And he put his hands on Hiroki's ass again, motioning upwards until Hiroki was standing on his knees. "Now stretch your leg... yes, that's it..."
Without much effort, Nowaki successfully got rid of any and all clothes from Hiroki's waist down. He was happy to notice he had also lost his shirt in the process.
Hiroki, who was still on his knees, looked down at him. "There's lube under the couch from the last time we did it here, so just hurry up an—N-Nowaki!"
Nowaki hummed questioningly, Hiroki's cock now partially inside his mouth.
"Ahh... that's..." Hiroki held onto the couch and parted his legs so that Nowaki could slide a little lower and fit more of him inside his mouth. "So good..."
Nowaki smiled and began sucking at a more steady pace, taking a little more of Hiroki's cock each time. Frantically trying to kick off his own pants in the meantime.
He kept going until Hiroki's noises reached the pitch he was already so familiar with, and just before his lover could find the release he needed, he started pulling back, the tip of his tongue licking the underside of Hiroki's cock on the way out. He reached under the couch's seat cushions.
"We're almost there, Hiro-san..." He whispered, his voice hoarse. The other man's arms were trembling and his hips kept thrusting forward into the air. "Just a little more..." And as he said this, he pressed a cold finger against Hiroki's entrance, slowly making his way in.
Hiroki cursed under his breath, tensing up. "More."
"Are you sure...?"
"More." Hiroki insisted. "I want to feel you, s-so..."
A wave of pleasure washed across Nowaki's body just from hearing those words. Without hesitation he slid a second finger inside, and began stretching him more confidently, until he could feel Hiroki was ready.
They both moaned and clung tight to each other as soon as Nowaki began entering him. They were already so close there was no point in taking this slow, and so as soon as Nowaki was all the way in they began rocking back and forth, whispering each other's names countless times.
"Y-You. You're really such an idiot..." Hiroki panted, "Nowaki..."
Nowaki chuckled, speeding up the pace. "I just... just want to be Hiro-san's everything..."
Hiroki shuddered. "You dumbass, y-you already— hnn—!"
Nowaki felt Hiroki shake and clench him tight inside. That, combined with Hiroki's words, made him come on the heels of Hiroki's own orgasm.
Hiroki collapsed on top of him as soon as Nowaki pulled out. "Hiro-san, you're so amazing. You're the best, Hiro-san. I love you, Hiro-san." Nowaki kept whispering this words to him over and over again.
The telephone rang.
Startled, Nowaki turned to look at Hiroki, who was now lazily reaching for it.
"H-Hiro-san...?"
"Hello? Oh, hey Akihiko. Can you call me later? I just had the best sex of my life." And without saying another word, he tossed the telephone behind the couch.
Author:
darknightrainRating: NC-17
Warnings: Porn, some swearing.
Word count: 3,456
Prompt: Junjou Romantica, Nowaki/Hiroki: The one time Hiroki really wanted it but Nowaki didn't - "I'm sorry, I'm just..."
A/N:
dshae47 is my forever beta."I'm home," whispered Nowaki as he stepped inside the dark apartment. It was mostly out of habit, since it was late at night and he was sure his lover would already be in bed.
"Ah... Nowaki, welcome home..." Hiroki's voice came softly and unexpectedly from the living room, causing Nowaki to drop his briefcase and lab coat on the floor and dash across the corridor to check on him.
"Hiro-san, are you all right?!"
"Ehh?"
"What are you doing awake at this hour? And in this..." Nowaki trailed off, finally paying attention to Hiroki's state. He was sprawled over the couch, his shirt and tie half undone, and his hair a mess.
Hiroki sat up with a bit of effort and stared at him for a long minute. "What timessit?"
He also reeked of alcohol and tobacco.
"Almost four in the morning."
"Whoa, already...?"
Nowaki sighed and sat down next to him. "Are you sure you're okay?"
Hiroki stiffened, feeling Nowaki's arm around his shoulders pulling him close. "What the— of course I am." He reached for the glass of water that was sitting on the table and gave it a long sip. "Was planning to watch some TV... but then I fell asleep."
"Hiro-san, as cute as ever." Nowaki allowed himself to chuckle now that he was certain nothing bad had happened.
"S-Shut up, you idiot!" Hiroki winced a little as he accidentally slammed the glass against the table.
"Mm, sorry." Nowaki shifted in order to nuzzle the other man's neck. Hiroki let out a low whine, though the way his own arms wrapped around Nowaki made it clear that he wasn't really complaining. Nowaki smiled, his hands now on Hiroki's waist, and made just the slightest motion so that Hiroki would be lying on his back again.
"Nowakiii, what are you doiiiing?" There was that whine again.
Nowaki ignored the question in favour of positioning himself on top of his lover. "So... I take it you had fun at the party?" Hiroki was being especially cooperative tonight, probably because of the alcohol, but Nowaki didn't want to miss this opportunity.
"Yeah, it was—fun, but, ah... mmh..."
"Mmh...?"
Hiroki thrust his hips forward, lazily. It was such an easy and rare movement, especially coming from him, that Nowaki couldn't help but moan under his breath.
"Ahh... you know," Hiroki mumbled. "Akihiko was being a jerk as always, boasting about his award and being all Hiroki, wouldn't it be nice if you invited me to one of your parties the next time and—"
And it was then that realization fell upon Nowaki. He was aware that Hiroki had gone out with Usami that night, and the only reason why he didn't join him was because there had been an emergency at the hospital, but...
"Nowaki...?"
But.
Hiroki grumped under his breath and pulled Nowaki's hips down towards his own. Nowaki, who was already hard, groaned in surprise. But he pulled away almost immediately.
"Hiro-san."
"Heyyy, what's your problem?" Hiroki demanded. "Don't be a tease, I'm not in the mood for that kind of thing now."
Nowaki took a deep breath and tried to sound as neutral as possible.
"I'm sorry, Hiro-san."
"Yeah, you better be. Come on, let's just do it alread—"
Nowaki interrupted him, his tone much firmer now. "I'm sorry, but I can't. Not right now." And with that, he raised from the couch and headed to the entrance again in order to pick up his discarded belongings.
"H-Hey, Nowaki! Nowaki! What the hell is your problem?!" Hiroki stood up with every intention of following after, but his stomach seemed to have other plans for him, so instead he put his hand to his mouth and staggered hurriedly into the bathroom.
Hiroki woke up with a mortal headache and no recollection whatsoever of anything that happened after the fourth glass of wine the night before, though he could guess things had gotten kinda messy; the bathroom smelled like fresh pine and lemon. He grimaced as he downed a couple of aspirins.
"Good morning, Hiro-san," Nowaki greeted him when he stepped into the kitchen. "I have to run out in a few minutes, but breakfast is ready, if you're hungry."
Hiroki pulled out a chair to sit down, cursing at the noise it made when he dragged it across the floor. "You're going out...?" He croaked.
Nowaki hesitated for a moment before answering. "Something came up."
"Haah...?"
"I mentioned it before, but you probably forgot. It's okay, though. I shouldn't take long." He set the dishes on the table in front of Hiroki: juice, coffee, fried eggs with bacon, and toast.
"Where are you going?"
Still not making eye contact, Nowaki turned to hang his apron. "A conference. One of the doctors I met while I was in America will be giving it, so I don't want to miss it."
"Ahh."
"Yes."
Hiroki stared at his plate for a long time, poking at the food with his fork, before he finally decided to break the silence.
"Hey, Nowaki, about last night..."
Nowaki's cellphone rang.
"Yes? Ah, yes, I'm actually on my way out! I'll be there in ten minutes!" He hung up. "Sorry, Hiro-san, but I really need to get going. I'll see you later!"
Hiroki didn't even get a chance to wish him a good day before the apartment's door closed.
"So what?" He pouted, undignifiedly. "Maybe I drank too much last night, but that doesn't give him the right to act like that! If he's going to act all angry, he should at least tell me why! Stupid Nowaki."
By the time he decided to start eating, his breakfast had already gotten cold.
"I'm sorry, Hiro-san, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Nowaki kept repeating this to himself like a mantra as he made his way to the hospital. It wasn't so much that he wanted to apologize for leaving like that, but that he didn't feel exactly guilty, and that just made him feel worse. He'd experienced this kind of feelings before, but that didn't mean he knew how to deal with them.
He started replaying what had happened last night in his mind for the fourth or fifth time that day. Really, it would have been so easy to take his lover right then and there, especially with him so willing, he shouldn't even have stopped to think about it... but it was getting to be too much to simply think of it as a coincidence.
Hiroki only ever wanted to have sex with him after seeing Usami.
He clenched his fists tight, because just thinking about it made all sorts of emotions swell up in his chest. Jealousy, confusion, anger, uncertainty, sadness, impotence...
It happened the night before, after that party. It happened a few weeks ago after they went out for coffee. It happened two months ago when Usami had bumped into him after work and driven him home. It happened on Hiroki's birthday when Usami had called, and it also happened when—
"Hey, you idiot! Watch where you're going!"
Nowaki was suddenly pulled back to reality by a car's loud honking and the realization that he'd almost been run over. He managed to stutter an apology that was promptly ignored as the driver sped through.
Hiroki paced around the apartment, muttering to himself. "How long was that thing supposed to last? He could've at least texted me!"
He had spent half of the day lying in bed with the vain hope that his headache would go away, but he couldn't nap because the pain was too sharp, and it wouldn't go away either because he was too busy thinking and trying to understand what had caused Nowaki to act like that. The other half had been spent looking around the apartment for any traces of evidence that might help him figure out what, exactly, had gone down the previous night.... Even though he knew it was pointless, because Nowaki was Nowaki and he had clearly tidied up every little corner in the apartment, just like he'd done with the bathroom.
He gave the clock one last glance and picked up the phone to dial that number he knew by heart.
Nowaki fished inside his pocket for the keys. He'd had no idea the hospital staff planned to hold a reception after the conference, and there'd been no way to excuse himself from it. And he would never admit it to himself, but there had been some kind of relief in finding out his cell phone had run out of battery. He figured that if he stayed for a while, he might be able to calm himself down, clear his mind, and approach the problem more rationally afterwards.
"—and that's why I'm asking you! What? No! Of course I know what happened! B-But if there's something I missed... uh, hang on." Hiroki covered the speaker with his hand and looked at Nowaki, his expression lighting up for all of two seconds. "There you are!"
"... I'm home," Nowaki mumbled, half-heartedly.
Hiroki switched back to his usual grumpy look. "Good. I was this close to calling the police."
He hated when Hiroki used that icy tone with him, it was one of those the things he wasn't sure he'd ever get used to. "Mm..." He took his shoes off and stepped inside. "My cell phone died and I wasn't carrying my charger with me."
"Bah, whatever." Hiroki shifted to speak into the phone again. "I have to go now, we'll talk later. ... How many times have I told you not to—? Akihiko, shut up!"
Nowaki could feel the entirety of his body tense up at the mention of the name; all of his thoughts from earlier flooded his mind once again.
"He's such an idiot." Hiroki dropped the phone on its base unceremoniously and turned to look at his lover. "What? Are you going to stand there all day? I'm still waiting for an explanation."
"There was a party, after the conference..." Nowaki remained still in place. "Sorry, I should have called."
"You should have. I was worried."
"Ah, Hiro-san..."
"Especially after this morning. What's gotten into you, anyway?"
Nowaki couldn't help but smile as Hiroki turned his back to him and sat on the couch, visibly trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. It was so hard to remain worried when Hiroki behaved like that.
"Well?" Hiroki insisted.
"Oh... ha ha," Nowaki chuckled. "It doesn't matter anymore." He took a few steps in order to close the distance between the entrance and the couch and sat next to Hiroki.
"I don't believe a word of that."
"I don't want to fight with Hiro-san."
Hiroki glared at him, arms tightly folded across his chest. "That means there's something we should be fighting over!"
"Hiro-san!"
"And obviously you're the one who's pissed here. Really, it would be so much easier if you'd just spit it out already..." Hiroki trailed off, his eyes opening wide. Like something had clicked inside his mind. "Oh, I knew it."
Nowaki blinked and waited for it, still not entirely sure if he wanted to hear what was coming next.
"Because of last night, right? I was too drunk and..."
"Hiro-san...? H-Hiro-san, what are you—?!"
In one swift movement, Hiroki had managed to position himself on top of Nowaki. He was now not only straddling him, but pushing his shoulders up against the couch and staring deep into his eyes.
"I'll make it up to you, and you get no say in the matter."
Even if Nowaki had wanted to say something it would have been complicated, with Hiroki's lips pressed against his own. He made a low noise and returned the kiss without thinking. He parted his lips for Hiroki and circled his waist with his arms, but instead of shifting closer, he felt Hiroki's hand slip down between them and press against the hardening bulge in his pants.
Normally, he wouldn't have minded, but this whole situation made the alarms in his brain go off again. He grabbed Hiroki's wrist firmly and pulled back from the kiss.
"... Nowaki?"
"Don't..." Nowaki breathed, trying to find the words.
Hiroki frowned. "I said I wouldn't accept any complaints."
"It's not..."
"Speak up, Nowaki." Hiroki's voice had switched to that edgy tone again. "I want to do it, but it's obvious you don't."
He closed his eyes, a hundred thoughts rushing through his mind. "It's not that I don't want to! But—"
"But?"
But no matter how hard he tried, the words simply refused to leave his throat. He let go of Hiroki's wrist, causing a mix of offense and hurt to show on his face.
Nowaki's voice was only audible because there were no other noises in the room. "Why...?"
"... Why what?"
"Why do you want to do it?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Hiroki's expression was slowly changing into anger. "Is this some kind of trick question? Ohh, or could it be, maybe...?" He snorted. "I didn't know you enjoyed dirty talk, but that still doesn't justify—"
"—Hiro-san." Nowaki cut him off before his words became even sharper.
"What is it?"
"Why do you only want to have sex with me after seeing him?"
It took a few seconds for Hiroki to speak, and when he did, he still sounded completely flabbergasted. "What?"
He knew backpedalling wouldn't do any good, now. Nowaki set his hands down next to his legs and brought his voice back to a normal volume. "It's the truth. It's only after you've been together, or talking on the phone, or after you've read one of his books, that..."
"Is this about Akihiko?" Hiroki paused, letting the meaning of Nowaki's words sink in. "Are you for real?" He grabbed Nowaki by the shirt and shook him once, firmly.
Nowaki's stare met Hiroki's wide eyes. "I'm not joking, Hiro-san."
Hiroki opened his mouth, then closed it without saying a word. He threw his arms in the air, gesturing in wild motions as if that would help him become magically articulate. He looked around the room, then back at Nowaki.
"What are you? Stupid?!"
"Hiro-san, pl—mmfgh!"
Hiroki grabbed a cushion from the couch and smacked his face with it. "What the hell?!" Again. "Why would you ever—?!" And again. "ARGH!" And again.
Nowaki, whose face was burning now, finally managed to snatch the cushion from Hiroki and throw it across the room. "Hiro-san, please!"
Hiroki stretched himself towards the other remaining cushion, fully determined to resume his task, but Nowaki managed to take hold of his arms and pulled him against his chest.
"W-What are you doing? I'm not done yet!"
"So what you're saying is I'm wrong?" Nowaki spoke quietly, slowly. "That you didn't try to do it with me all those times?"
Hiroki fell silent. Nowaki sighed and began stroking his hair. He could tell from Hiroki's reaction that his assumptions had been wrong, but he still wanted an explanation. Hiroki mumbled something against his shoulder.
"... Eh?"
"You're not wrong," he repeated, this time a little louder. "But that's not the reason why..."
Nowaki closed his eyes and he could clearly see Hiroki's cheeks turning bright pink as he spoke. He nodded in acknowledgement, but waited for Hiroki to resume talking.
"It's just. Akihiko is... He is still a very important person to me, but my feelings for him aren't the same anymore." Hiroki hooked his arms around Nowaki's neck and buried his face deeper against the crook of his neck. "But seeing him... when that kid is around and Akihiko kisses him so easily, or when he tells me about the things they do together... when I read the things he writes in his books..."
"Yes...?" Nowaki whispered, running one hand down Hiroki's back soothingly.
"I can't help but think about you. About us. I want to tell him to shut up and leave that moment and just... come home to be with you. I want to yell at his stupid self-insert characters and tell them how much better my life is. I want to touch you and be touched by you and melt together until I can't take it anymore..."
Nowaki inhaled sharply and tightened his grip on Hiroki. "Hiro-san..."
"That's..." Hiroki shivered. "That's why..."
"Hiro-san, I. What you just said... Is that true?"
"I'm not repeating myself."
Nowaki cupped Hiroki's face and tilted it upwards so that he could see his face. "That's one of the most amazing things you've said to me."
Hiroki looked away, embarassed. "Y-You always say the same dumb thing!"
"Because you just keep outdoing yourself."
Nowaki then moved in to kiss his lover, deeply and thoroughly, making Hiroki moan.
"N-Nowaki..."
"I hope you haven't changed your mind about what you said before," Nowaki smiled, "because I won't be able to contain myself much longer, Hiro-san." His hands travelled downwards as he said this, grasping Hiroki's ass and squeezing it.
Hiroki arched against the touch, baring his neck at the perfect angle for Nowaki to lean forward and begin kissing it. "Ahh... y-you idiot. Just. H-Hurry up and do it." He dragged his hands down Nowaki's sides and snuck his fingers under the shirt to feel the warm skin.
Meanwhile, Nowaki had already managed to both undo and tug down Hiroki's pants down to his knees. He was in the process of doing the same to his underwear, but things were starting to get a bit uncomfortable due to their position.
"Hiro-san..."
"Nnh...?"
"Could you please...?" And he put his hands on Hiroki's ass again, motioning upwards until Hiroki was standing on his knees. "Now stretch your leg... yes, that's it..."
Without much effort, Nowaki successfully got rid of any and all clothes from Hiroki's waist down. He was happy to notice he had also lost his shirt in the process.
Hiroki, who was still on his knees, looked down at him. "There's lube under the couch from the last time we did it here, so just hurry up an—N-Nowaki!"
Nowaki hummed questioningly, Hiroki's cock now partially inside his mouth.
"Ahh... that's..." Hiroki held onto the couch and parted his legs so that Nowaki could slide a little lower and fit more of him inside his mouth. "So good..."
Nowaki smiled and began sucking at a more steady pace, taking a little more of Hiroki's cock each time. Frantically trying to kick off his own pants in the meantime.
He kept going until Hiroki's noises reached the pitch he was already so familiar with, and just before his lover could find the release he needed, he started pulling back, the tip of his tongue licking the underside of Hiroki's cock on the way out. He reached under the couch's seat cushions.
"We're almost there, Hiro-san..." He whispered, his voice hoarse. The other man's arms were trembling and his hips kept thrusting forward into the air. "Just a little more..." And as he said this, he pressed a cold finger against Hiroki's entrance, slowly making his way in.
Hiroki cursed under his breath, tensing up. "More."
"Are you sure...?"
"More." Hiroki insisted. "I want to feel you, s-so..."
A wave of pleasure washed across Nowaki's body just from hearing those words. Without hesitation he slid a second finger inside, and began stretching him more confidently, until he could feel Hiroki was ready.
They both moaned and clung tight to each other as soon as Nowaki began entering him. They were already so close there was no point in taking this slow, and so as soon as Nowaki was all the way in they began rocking back and forth, whispering each other's names countless times.
"Y-You. You're really such an idiot..." Hiroki panted, "Nowaki..."
Nowaki chuckled, speeding up the pace. "I just... just want to be Hiro-san's everything..."
Hiroki shuddered. "You dumbass, y-you already— hnn—!"
Nowaki felt Hiroki shake and clench him tight inside. That, combined with Hiroki's words, made him come on the heels of Hiroki's own orgasm.
Hiroki collapsed on top of him as soon as Nowaki pulled out. "Hiro-san, you're so amazing. You're the best, Hiro-san. I love you, Hiro-san." Nowaki kept whispering this words to him over and over again.
The telephone rang.
Startled, Nowaki turned to look at Hiroki, who was now lazily reaching for it.
"H-Hiro-san...?"
"Hello? Oh, hey Akihiko. Can you call me later? I just had the best sex of my life." And without saying another word, he tossed the telephone behind the couch.
