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kinkfest2009-06-13 02:11 am
silverearthelf.livejournal.com) wrote in kinkfest2009-06-13 02:11 am
Entry tags:
Jealous Passion- (FMA- ALTER!Roy/Ed+Al) PG
Title- Jealous Passion
Author- Silver Earth Elf
Rating- PG
Disclaimer- I own nothing... believe me... you would know if I did!
Prompt- He watches from the sidelines, hating losing his brother, the person he has always loved, to a man that is not the man they know
I shouldn’t be jealous. I knew it was illogical. I knew it was stupid. I knew it with my head, but I couldn’t for the life of me know it with my heart. I should be happy that Ed had found someone that could relieve his pain. We’ve been stuck in this god forsaken universe for so long that I’ve long since begun to forget what some of the people who I used to care about looked like. Winry, Riza, Black Hayate… all of the people who had cared so much about me. I’d even forgotten what the colonel looked like until Ed was running. Running up to a complete stranger in the middle of the street and asked him his name. Roy. Looking at him, I could almost see the proud, playful man in this imitation of him.
As the weeks passed and melted into months we stayed in San Francisco and I saw our time and ability to get home slipping away. Ed was spending more and more time with Mr. Leroy Mustange (“Call me Roy”) and less and less on our mission.
I want to go home. I know Ed does too, but people get weary, and we’ve been here for SO long. Ten years is a long time for someone who is trying to get home. For someone who got home and then had to return to this universe to prevent our destruction. Ten for Ed, eight for me. A long time to try to find a way home with little to no hope.
I’m not stupid. In fact I’m one of the most intelligent people on earth at the present. I’ve understood complex equations since I was a very young child. I’ve been able to do human transmutation, and chase after the philosopher’s stone with my brother at the age of 10. I knew what my brother was doing when he would spend hours upon hours with his new friend.
I only wanted to see what it was that was keeping Ed from our mission, our goal. I only wanted to see what it was that was so alluring that he would give up everything that we’ve worked for, for the last eight years to get home. I never realized that he could possibly love him.
I’d never seen our parents interact, so I’ve had nothing in my life to compare relationships to. All I knew was the love I have for my brother. Ed was everything to me for so long, he was my brother, my confidante, and almost my parent. My love for him was unsurpassed by any other, and I knew that his love for me was also incomparable, but when I watched from the closet I felt dirty, invasive, and incredibly shamed. The tenderness that Roy exhibited to Ed as he held him in the most intimate of embraces made me sick to my stomach. I sat in that dark, cramped, compressing space trying not to throw up on everything as I waited for them to sleep.
“You love him, don’t you?” I asked over breakfast the next day, and Ed looked up at me with a deer-in-the-headlights look that almost made me laugh at the stupid look.
“What?”
“You love him. Mr. Mustang.”
“Yes. Yes I do, Al.”
“Then why are you doing this? To yourself and to us?”
“I know you don’t understand Al, but it’s been a very long ten years. I saw him for maybe five minutes, Al. The first time in two years and he’d changed SO much yet had changed so little at the same time. I knew what I had to do, but at the same time everything I was, was SCREAMING at me to go to him. To give up everything just to hug him again.
Did you know that he was willing to wait? He wanted to wait till I was of age to start anything. He’d promised when I turned 18 we would do whatever it was that I wanted, but we had to wait. He kissed me just once, just before the end.
Leroy is SO much like him. Little things that he does remind me of him SO much and if I close my eyes, and just let myself feel then I can almost pretend that we’re back there. That it’s Roy with his glove roughened hands instead of roughened by the ropes attached to horses. Al I know I’m dreaming. I know it’s not him. I do care for Leroy. He’s funny, he adores me, and he likes you. I don’t know what else I could ask for.”
“You could ask to go home, Brother.”
“I want to go home, Al. But the longer we’re here… the longer I’M here, the more I wonder if we’re ever going to get home. I want to go home, and I want to hug MY Roy, but sometimes I wonder… will I ever see him again?”
“Isn’t that why we’re looking for this device? Isn’t that why we’re trying to get home? Brother I want to see Winry again. I can barely remember what she looks like. I remember the smell of oil and color gold.”
“Al, if you were to see Winry here… the same face, smile, attitude, and aptitude for a wrench, would you pass up the chance? Could you? I want to go home. But at this point, I’d like to hedge my bets.”
“What are you saying?”
“Give me two more weeks. I want to say goodbye and explain a little why I’m leaving… or at least make something up that doesn’t sound crazy. After that we’ll look for the device, and we’ll try to get home. But I want to tell Roy to wait for me. If we find we can’t get home, I want something for myself in this backwards world.”
I think he’s lost his mind. The time away from our world has made him lose faith, but he’s my brother and I have never been able to deny him anything. I say ok.
Even though I know Leroy Mustange isn’t the man we knew. He is a horseman, someone who has made his living training horses to run faster than imaginable. He’s freer, happier, less jaded than the man we knew. Coronel Roy Mustang is a leader. Someone who will take charge and never apologize. So completely different, yet at the same time they’re one in the same. They’re funny, loving, caring, and they absolutely adore my brother.
In a lot of ways I HATE that he’s taking some of the hope of getting home away from Ed, but I know some of it really is envy. It would probably be the same if we were home. He’s taking away my only family. The only person in the entire world who, when everyone else said no, said yes. The only one who would be willing to die to make sure I was whole.
Ed fights with a passion that no one can possibly understand or compare to. For my entire life that dedication has been devoted to my mother and to me. When Mother died, it was only directed at me. I’m afraid that if he has Leroy or Roy, there won’t be any left of that for me.
Author- Silver Earth Elf
Rating- PG
Disclaimer- I own nothing... believe me... you would know if I did!
Prompt- He watches from the sidelines, hating losing his brother, the person he has always loved, to a man that is not the man they know
I shouldn’t be jealous. I knew it was illogical. I knew it was stupid. I knew it with my head, but I couldn’t for the life of me know it with my heart. I should be happy that Ed had found someone that could relieve his pain. We’ve been stuck in this god forsaken universe for so long that I’ve long since begun to forget what some of the people who I used to care about looked like. Winry, Riza, Black Hayate… all of the people who had cared so much about me. I’d even forgotten what the colonel looked like until Ed was running. Running up to a complete stranger in the middle of the street and asked him his name. Roy. Looking at him, I could almost see the proud, playful man in this imitation of him.
As the weeks passed and melted into months we stayed in San Francisco and I saw our time and ability to get home slipping away. Ed was spending more and more time with Mr. Leroy Mustange (“Call me Roy”) and less and less on our mission.
I want to go home. I know Ed does too, but people get weary, and we’ve been here for SO long. Ten years is a long time for someone who is trying to get home. For someone who got home and then had to return to this universe to prevent our destruction. Ten for Ed, eight for me. A long time to try to find a way home with little to no hope.
I’m not stupid. In fact I’m one of the most intelligent people on earth at the present. I’ve understood complex equations since I was a very young child. I’ve been able to do human transmutation, and chase after the philosopher’s stone with my brother at the age of 10. I knew what my brother was doing when he would spend hours upon hours with his new friend.
I only wanted to see what it was that was keeping Ed from our mission, our goal. I only wanted to see what it was that was so alluring that he would give up everything that we’ve worked for, for the last eight years to get home. I never realized that he could possibly love him.
I’d never seen our parents interact, so I’ve had nothing in my life to compare relationships to. All I knew was the love I have for my brother. Ed was everything to me for so long, he was my brother, my confidante, and almost my parent. My love for him was unsurpassed by any other, and I knew that his love for me was also incomparable, but when I watched from the closet I felt dirty, invasive, and incredibly shamed. The tenderness that Roy exhibited to Ed as he held him in the most intimate of embraces made me sick to my stomach. I sat in that dark, cramped, compressing space trying not to throw up on everything as I waited for them to sleep.
“You love him, don’t you?” I asked over breakfast the next day, and Ed looked up at me with a deer-in-the-headlights look that almost made me laugh at the stupid look.
“What?”
“You love him. Mr. Mustang.”
“Yes. Yes I do, Al.”
“Then why are you doing this? To yourself and to us?”
“I know you don’t understand Al, but it’s been a very long ten years. I saw him for maybe five minutes, Al. The first time in two years and he’d changed SO much yet had changed so little at the same time. I knew what I had to do, but at the same time everything I was, was SCREAMING at me to go to him. To give up everything just to hug him again.
Did you know that he was willing to wait? He wanted to wait till I was of age to start anything. He’d promised when I turned 18 we would do whatever it was that I wanted, but we had to wait. He kissed me just once, just before the end.
Leroy is SO much like him. Little things that he does remind me of him SO much and if I close my eyes, and just let myself feel then I can almost pretend that we’re back there. That it’s Roy with his glove roughened hands instead of roughened by the ropes attached to horses. Al I know I’m dreaming. I know it’s not him. I do care for Leroy. He’s funny, he adores me, and he likes you. I don’t know what else I could ask for.”
“You could ask to go home, Brother.”
“I want to go home, Al. But the longer we’re here… the longer I’M here, the more I wonder if we’re ever going to get home. I want to go home, and I want to hug MY Roy, but sometimes I wonder… will I ever see him again?”
“Isn’t that why we’re looking for this device? Isn’t that why we’re trying to get home? Brother I want to see Winry again. I can barely remember what she looks like. I remember the smell of oil and color gold.”
“Al, if you were to see Winry here… the same face, smile, attitude, and aptitude for a wrench, would you pass up the chance? Could you? I want to go home. But at this point, I’d like to hedge my bets.”
“What are you saying?”
“Give me two more weeks. I want to say goodbye and explain a little why I’m leaving… or at least make something up that doesn’t sound crazy. After that we’ll look for the device, and we’ll try to get home. But I want to tell Roy to wait for me. If we find we can’t get home, I want something for myself in this backwards world.”
I think he’s lost his mind. The time away from our world has made him lose faith, but he’s my brother and I have never been able to deny him anything. I say ok.
Even though I know Leroy Mustange isn’t the man we knew. He is a horseman, someone who has made his living training horses to run faster than imaginable. He’s freer, happier, less jaded than the man we knew. Coronel Roy Mustang is a leader. Someone who will take charge and never apologize. So completely different, yet at the same time they’re one in the same. They’re funny, loving, caring, and they absolutely adore my brother.
In a lot of ways I HATE that he’s taking some of the hope of getting home away from Ed, but I know some of it really is envy. It would probably be the same if we were home. He’s taking away my only family. The only person in the entire world who, when everyone else said no, said yes. The only one who would be willing to die to make sure I was whole.
Ed fights with a passion that no one can possibly understand or compare to. For my entire life that dedication has been devoted to my mother and to me. When Mother died, it was only directed at me. I’m afraid that if he has Leroy or Roy, there won’t be any left of that for me.