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kinkfestTitle: Not Quite Sabine (Part One)
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
syvia
Rating: R
Warnings: coarse language, disturbing content, sexual themes
Word Count: 14,172
Summary: Hades/Persephone, Sora/Riku/Kairi, Hercules/Meg, Zeus/the entire world. It's okay to have really, really stupid ideas when you're drunk. The problem is following through with them once you're sober.
Prompt: Crossover: Kingdom Hearts 2/Greek mythology, Hades/Persephone: arguments/banter, jealousy - “That idiot Pirithous' is gonna get what's comin' to him!”
Author's Notes: Oh my god, I can't believe I finished on time. :O
A big, big hand for my beta-reader,crimsoncookie, who helps me formulate ideas, lets me steal quotes, and keeps me motivated through horribly epic one-shot fics.
The first two fics in this series are Love Me, Love Me Not and Fine Print. It’s not required that you read them first, but they help, as does a healthy knowledge of Greek Mythology. I very much hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go over there... *points* and... *flops over, snoring*.
Most ill-fated conversations began over an empty wine pitcher.
Someone paid the queen of Ethiopia a compliment- and a little too fuzzy on cup after cup of alcohol she said, "Oh indeed, good man. My lovely Andromeda and I are more beautiful than all the Nereids in the wine-dark sea!"
Although that one ended fairly well, all things considered. Not so much for Arachne, who got drunk one night, toasted her loom with the last cup, and began to talk to herself.
Related to but not the direct cause of this story, one night Leda accepted Tyndareus of Sparta's offer of another round and, after they'd kept some pleasurable company, decided to take a walk around the lake. Purportedly, she was heard cooing, "Oh, aren't you the most beautiful swan-"
It's rather certain the swan talked back... well... being a swan (at the time) it didn't talk, but it communicated.
Perhaps the recurrence of the empty-pitcher conversation is an honest quirk of their World, because certainly part of it began when a young man turned to his brother and said;
"The gods like me better, Romulus."
Dionysus would have said there was an easy solution to this problem.
Don't let the pitcher get empty.
That way, you drank until you passed out, and if you did somehow hold an ill-fated conversation, you'd never remember it through the next morning's hangover.
Dionysus would have said so, but philosophers were a generally melancholy lot, so he made a point never to say anything philosophical.
Unfortunate, that, since many a bad decision might have been prevented if someone had said it.
After the death of his wife, Pirithous, king of the Lapiths, visited his very... very good friend Theseus, king of Athens.
They were slumped on the same couch, Pirithous' left leg dangling off the far side and his head resting on Theseus' upper arm. Most of Pirithous was resting on Theseus, who in turn leaned heavily on the raised end of the couch. Each held a cup in his palm, each was empty, and Theseus had surrendered the last few drops of their pitcher to Pirithous seconds before.
Clearly things would only get worse from there.
"My wife is dead," Pirithous mumbled, staring at the dregs of his liquid comfort.
Theseus couldn't move his left arm. He reached his right arm over and patted the most accessible part of his friend's body, that being his forehead.
"I know," he said in a vague, sleepy sort of voice. "Mine too."
Pirithous gave a pathetic little half-whine and let the cup slide out of his hand. It hit his foot before settling on the marble floor, but he hardly noticed. He clutched Theseus' arm.
"I want another one!" he wailed.
"Then," Theseus blinked rapidly, trying to clear the spots from the edge of his vision, "you should go for it." He spoke slowly, reasoning very hard through the drunken half-stupor and doing his best not to slur his words. "You're a beautiful man," he said, glancing down at Pirithous. He blinked, peered at his friend to make sure he was right before saying it again. "A beautiful man... and there's no reason," he licked the inside of his mouth, sucking at the wine's bitter aftertaste, "you can't get some- some... beautiful young thing."
"You're a beautiful man too," Pirithous noticed, leaning away from Theseus- and nearly falling off the couch as he overbalanced.
"Yes," Theseus answered gravely, almost toppling with him, "I am."
"So... we should both get new queens."
Theseus observed their proximity to the floor. Clearly the discussion would be better continued there. You couldn't fall off the floor. Theseus put out a hand, but the floor was moving, thwarting his attempts at balance and he slipped, and wound up on his back... on the floor. Goal accomplished.
Pirithous blinked at where Theseus had been sitting, and swayed as he turned to look at his friend.
It sounded like a good idea- he could use a new queen, since the last one had died.
"What kind of queen? Should we find some that are already queens?" he raised a hand, pointing at the ceiling to emphasize the next part. "That way, they'll already be used to all the queenly stuff-"
Pirithous glared and Theseus flinched. His friend wasn't an angry drunk, but when he got angry... it was bad.
"No, screw mortal women. They up and leave."
Wait, what? Theseus' head lolled to the side and he thought about that- it was a little confusing but he thought he understood... "Um... you screw a mortal woman and then she leaves?"
"No- yes!" Pirithous exulted. "Yes! They leave- so what we need is immortal women."
Clearly this was a brilliant idea. Pirithous was so impressed with his logic that he got up to pace... and only got as far as two centimeters off the couch before he sat back down.
"We're both handsome, well-muscled men with gorgeous heads of hair!"
Theseus rolled his eyes upward, but his hair refused to cooperate by moving into his field of vision. Oh well. He could see Pirithous'. Indeed, it was a gorgeous head of hair.
"Let's aim high, since we can!" he ranted, every word thunderous in all its gleeful, diabolical glory, "We're brave and strong, and we can do it!"
Enthralled, Theseus could only gape and nod.
"We're more than worthy of nymphs... hell, we could have- have... Zeus' daughters!"
The Muses- who had been lurking in the fresco on the wall behind the drunken heroes, flinched in perfect synchronization. They looked at each other as Pirithous flung his arms wide.
"The best part is, there's so many of them to choose from!"
The Muses scattered right about then, so records fail to show how the conversation ended.
Landing on the World that many travelers called the 'Olympus Coliseum' wasn't all that tricky, really. Technologically speaking, the World was backwater. Magically speaking, there was no formal education system. Oh there was education, and philosophy, and a few wonderful libraries here and there. When something mystical happened though, people had a tendency to sit back and say 'a god/goddess did it'.
Which wasn't so bad- unless you were responsible and you weren't an actual god or goddess. Even then, maybe you'd get someone trying to pay tribute, bothering you for help or advice. Most of the time you could fake the appropriate behavior until they went away, or claim to be a child of the gods, or blessed by them. People would cut you slack- it was the actual deities that would smite you for the presumption.
Sora liked to keep a low profile. Had ever since Hercules had taken him aside during the last visit and explained that Sora was his buddy, had the Grecian stamp of approval from Zeus himself and several other members of the Pantheon, but some of the gods liked to smite first and ask questions later, not to mention Hades had a perpetual hate-on for him and Olympus really wasn't a world he wanted to try dying on. Even for a little while.
Sora and his friends were careful to land in unpopulated areas and keep the spells to an absolute minimum. The less they had to use 'the gods gave it to me' as an explanation for the Keyblades, the better off they were.
"This," Sora murmured when they touched down, "is more low-key than we've ever been before." He lifted a foot, wiggled his toes against the sandal that laced halfway up his knee. Sora thoughtfully picked at the folds of his toga, angled his arm for a better look at the brass torque encircling his bicep. Kairi and Riku stood beside him and did the same.
"Long skirt," Kairi muttered.
"You spent three weeks training in Kyoshi-" Riku began, pulling the leather thong out of his hair and ruffling it.
"And I will never get the same range of movement in a long skirt as I do in a short one," Kairi said before he could finish.
"What about turning your enemies' expectations against them?" he smirked, gathering his hair at the nape of his neck and tying it back.
Kairi eyed him for a moment.
"Riku, have I mentioned lately that you have shapely calves?" she said sweetly, clasping her hands together and batting her eyelashes. Riku grunted and knelt, running a finger beneath the lacing of one sandal until it wasn't digging into his leg.
"You know what this means, right?" Sora grinned, turning to face them. "This World's gotten big enough that it called the normal people back! We can't risk tipping off the natives about other worlds, so we get an automatic wardrobe change!" A spell of Donald's invention and something Sora had begun casting before they landed, every trip, just as a precaution. A necessary one now, as they had the Heartless on the run from this part of the universe, and some of the Worlds had begun to expand not month by month, but hourly.
Riku smirked. "So you'll wanna say that a little louder, right? Because I don't think everyone on Mt. Olympus heard you."
Kairi ducked out of the way, laughing, as Sora aimed a punch at Riku's shoulder. It didn't connect, but he wasn't really trying. He jogged a few steps before turning, walking backwards and grinning at them.
"C'mon! Let's see what's new!"
Then he tripped on his native footwear and nearly took a header into the dirt.
Conversing with a farmer or two further up the road gave them directions and showed just how quickly Sora had learned to think under pressure as, when asked where they were from, he didn't even blink before he said 'Thebes'.
Luckily the farmers weren't aware of just how far Thebes was from Sparta, or even this particular stretch of farmland, which was also rather far from Sparta. There would have been questions about the three travelers and, considering their fine clothing, their lack of food, servants and even horses.
They passed along with the farmer's hope of good crops and blessings from the gods, and Kairi improvised a response. Any inconsistencies were okay. They were from Thebes, after all.
"Thebes?" Riku murmured.
"S' where Hercules lives," Sora muttered back. "Phil told me if anyone ever asked, that's what I should tell them."
Riku thought about that, and nodded. Phil was the deep thinker of that group, unless there happened to be a nubile young thing around to distract him, in which case Meg pulled into the lead.
"It might be wise to buy a map once we get to the nearest city," Kairi murmured. "I wonder how well the locals take to strangers." They exchanged a glance.
"So which contingency plan sounds good for this world?" Riku grinned, cock-sure and lazy... but it never reached his eyes.
They didn't get to a town by nightfall. Sora called a tent from the Gummi (also bespelled to blend in with the World) and they set up camp. Sora distributed the pre-packaged food they'd brought from Radiant Garden.
"Breakfast for dinner?" Riku teased, making a slit in the top of the seal and laying the silvery package close to the fire.
"Should we be eating these?" Kairi did the same and looked around nervously. "If we're keeping low-profile..."
"They won't be good for much longer," Sora shrugged. "As good as Aerith wrapped them. But these are Leon's bacon and egg wraps. It's a tragedy to waste food this good."
As it turned out, there was no reason for her to worry. They were starving, the wraps didn't take long to heat, and no Grecian natives dropped by to interrupt their meal. They sent the packaging back to the ship. Just in case.
"That design looks oddly familiar," Kairi was sitting next to Sora, hands on either side of the armlet. It was a flat circlet of metal that stayed in place simply because it was just tight enough not to slip. Flat, but running her fingers over it, Kairi could feel carved indentations, fanciful whorls and circlets that appeared to hinge around one large circle and two smaller ones.
"I can change it," Sora grinned. The brass shimmered, and then she was looking at a conical shape- with tiny stars and a crescent moon. Kairi blinked, and it changed again- a curved, sideways... an oil lamp? Suddenly Kairi was looking at the shape of her own lucky charm and she understood.
"Oh... oh!" and she realized Sora and Riku were smirking at her. Kairi stuck her tongue out at Riku and swatted Sora on the head. "They're that uninformed here?"
"Nah," Sora shrugged. "They'd probably recognize the Keyblade. Everyone does. The spell just thinks they'll have a problem with keychains."
It was then she noticed a similar piece of jewelry on Riku's forearm, dark metal with pale accents, as if someone had left it to tarnish, then taken a needle dipped in silver polish and drawn on it. Kairi didn't have one. Didn't need a representation of her stave to call it or change it. She suspected sometimes that Sora didn't either, but he liked his Keychains. Every little object that was a keepsake of someone important to him and he'd made into something powerful. He was sentimental. It was very sweet.
Riku opened his mouth to comment on that. Then the smirk disappeared. His eyes shifted to the left while his body remained perfectly still.
"Incoming."
Kairi looked up. Riku turned and Sora shifted his weight. All three stared into the darkness. They waited, and then Kairi heard the rhythmic thumping, unhurried but firm, until they stopped. Hoofbeats.
"Hello! Hello the camp!"
Riku stood up slowly, holding his arm stiffly out to one side. Sora also stood and Kairi uncurled the fingers of her right hand, waiting.
"Hello!" Sora called. "Who's there?"
"Weary travelers, sir! Please, we have an injured young woman with us- may we share your fire?"
Sora bit back his response. Yes, of course they should come and share the fire- let them look at the injury. But this could be a trick. There might not be anyone hurt and these people were trying to catch them off guard. Sora watched Riku, whose nostrils flared. His lips were pursed, eyes narrowed and tracking slowly through the plain surrounding their campsite. Then he paused, looking at something. He lowered his hand and splayed the fingers, tilting it back and forth in a seemingly idle gesture.
"Yes," Sora answered, "please, come and sit with us."
They listened as hooves beat against the earth, moving closer until there were two horses in the firelight. Each horse had a rider, and behind one tall, olive-skinned man there was a young girl. She lay against the rider's back, unconscious. Riku moved to their side, waiting for the rider's nod of approval before reaching for her. No sooner had the girl's weight left the rider's back than the man swung down, off the other side of the horse. Riku stepped quickly forward, trying to control the sudden slide of her body- dead weight that was off balance and obeying the pull of gravity.
Riku maneuvered her awkwardly off the back of the animal and stumbled- the girl's leg was still laying on the horse's rump when the rider tugged on the reins, leading horse away to be tethered to a nearby tree. Riku had support of her upper body and most of one leg, glared at the rider as he tried not to jostle her too much as he shifted his grip, and Sora had gotten around the fire to help him.
"No," Riku muttered at the rider's back, "don't wait until she's safe before riding off," he turned, still muttering, and headed for the tent.
"You there!"
Sora flinched. Riku went very still and turned. Kairi was holding the tent flap open as they all looked at the rider who'd carried the girl with him. He was glaring, pointing at Riku with a belligerent jut of his chin.
"What are you doing?"
Riku looked at him and raised one eyebrow, very slowly. "You said she was injured. There are beds in the tent."
"So you think," the blond put his hand to his sword. He stepped forward and his voice grew louder as the fire painted his face in ugly lines, "you'll just help yourself to-"
Kairi saw Riku's eyes grow wide, shock, disbelief and then anger, violent disgust. She couldn't say she blamed him, if the man was making the accusation she thought she was hearing- but she stepped forward, moving between them as Sora looked on in confusion and the other rider put his hand on his friend's sword-hand.
"Peace, Pirithous. I'm certain he'll come right back out. Helen will be in far better comfort lying down and tended to by the lady," he smiled pleasantly at Kairi, nodded.
Kairi nodded back, but there was something in their eyes- the way they darted between her and the boys... came back to her and moved up, then down. She didn't have any problems holding the tent open for Riku, and following him in. She turned right around to watch them through the gap.
Sora cleared his throat, smiled nervously.
The blond was still scowling. He kept doing it until the brunet raised a corked bottle in one hand, lifted his free arm with his hand clenched in a fist. He smiled.
"Success!"
"Success!" Pirithous echoed. He raised his arm and they bumped wrists. Sora blinked again. Then he grunted as Pirithous grinned, all anger forgotten, and grabbed him close.
"Thank you for your generous hospitality! You must follow us to my homeland and sample ours in turn." Sora mumbled something into the man's leather breastplate.
Within the tent, Kairi choked back a snicker. Riku tugged at Kairi's hand and she turned. He'd set Helen down on one of their sleeping bags (which no longer resembled sleeping bags) and knelt beside her. Kairi knelt as well, leaned her head close. Riku put his mouth by her ear, and the inexplicably curly ringlets the World had twisted her hair into.
"Something's off about these two."
"Well yeah," Kairi muttered. "He was practically accusing you of... of," she couldn't even say it, gritting her teeth so hard that her jaw ached. She gripped Riku's arm until he pulled his hand back, stroked the back of her palm with his thumb.
"They're not too Dark, but they..." he breathed into her ear.
She nodded. They weren't any darker than your average human being. She got that. But just because they weren't Dark didn't mean they weren't... a little nuts. Riku left it at that.
"Do what you can for her, okay? She might tell us more about what attacked them." Maybe they were egotistical, not evasive... and maybe whatever had attacked them had them rattled, but their behavior set off warning bells.
Riku left the tent and Kairi looked down at her charge. The tent walls were thin enough to admit firelight. When her eyes adjusted, she could see more. The girl wasn't small, but young. Thin and lacking curves, but the shape of her face was quite fine, high cheekbones, well-shaped lips. Her hair was soft as down and very pale, turned ruddy in the odd light. Kairi put her hands down, cupping them over the first bruise. She cast a healing spell, feeding as little power as she possibly could into it. The clump of bells and flowers appeared within the circle of her hands and she caught all the light it created. There was a muffled ringing, but it didn't carry over the voices outside. The bruise on her small cheek faded and Kairi smiled.
This would be slow going, but avoid questions about god-like powers. Low-key had worked for them so far. Kairi saw the wisdom of sticking to it.
The blond warrior was staring in Riku's direction as he emerged from the tent, looking him up and down. Riku bristled. No. He hadn't been ravishing the little girl. He hadn't been ravishing the bigger girl, whom he more than had permission to ravish, either. What, could they smell the Darkness on him? Sora was grimacing a little and wiping his cheek. Both their visitors glistened with sweat despite the cool of the evening. Closer to the fire, their skin was more visible- as were the bruises dotting muscular arms and legs.
"Something roughed you guys up," Riku observed.
"Ah, indeed," the blond said. "But we haven't introduced ourselves! I am Pirithous, King of the Lapiths. This is my dear friend Theseus, King of Athens."
Riku didn't bat an eyelash. Sora grinned like a child at Christmas Town and moved to sit beside the brunet.
"Theseus? Theseus who defeated the Minotaur, Theseus?" he grabbed the man's hand, pumping it up and down. Theseus smiled as if he were used to this kind of reaction.
"Yes, I am he!"
Pirithous pouted. "... I stole his bulls."
Riku sat down across the fire from Sora and, despite his distaste of the man, to Pirithous' right. Theseus uncorked the jug and took a swig. Then he passed it to Pirithous. Theseus stopped his narrative to take a swig, passed it to Sora, who simply held it for a bit before handing it back. Theseus didn't seem to notice. He drank, passed it to Pirithous, who drank, passed it back... and so on. Until Pirithous, somewhat inebriated, noticed Riku was sitting there and included him in the rotation. He didn't drink either. Pirithous didn't notice.
If they were as drunk as they seemed, and off one pitcher of whatever alcohol was in the jug, Riku was certain he wanted none of it. He glanced sidelong in Sora's direction, and his friend caught it, grimaced quickly before smoothing into that bland, witless smile he'd been wearing.
Riku congratulated himself for teaching Sora the wisdom of keeping some emotions to yourself.
Pirithous launched into another story after Theseus- but one that Theseus had been there for, and frequently interrupted.
"So the centaurs (who're my relatives, by the way) decided they thought my bride was pretty-"
"-and the rest of the women-"
"Yeah! They were so drunk at that point!"
"Go on, go on," Theseus urged him, "what happened next?"
"You already know," Pirithous teased, "you were there."
Sora's eyebrows were so high, his forehead wrinkled. Riku's eyes, by comparison, became more and more narrow.
"Anyway," Pirithous continued, "they carried off the women. Just carried them off! Now the rest of them- that wasn't such a bother, but one of them was my wife!" he grinned... and then it fell away. "She's dead now."
Sora blinked. "Oh," he murmured. "I'm sorry."
But just as quickly, Pirithous was happy again, "It's okay! Because I just got a new one."
"You-" and Riku cut himself off. He glanced at the tent, and back to the men, oblivious, swaying a little in an effort to stay upright.
"Well that's great! Good for you!" Sora grinned. Riku shot him an exasperated look. He hadn't gotten it. Riku knew him. It wouldn't even have occurred to Sora that Pirithous was talking about the girl- even though he'd spent much more time on this world and he knew what these people could be like.
Pirithous tossed an arm around Riku's shoulders. He winced, denied the impulse to throw the heavier man off him and tried not to breathe in as Pirithous was talking.
"You have my most sincere, heartfelt apologies," he murmured, staring into Riku's eyes.
"Don't mention it," Riku muttered. But apparently Pirithous was an affectionate drunk, and liked it when people played hard-to-get. He ignored the wine Theseus was bumping against his shoulder and leaned into Riku. Riku would not look to Sora for help.
"You know... you're a beautiful man."
Oh god...s. No. No, he would not look for Sora's help... but he wouldn't complain much if Sora happened to offer-
"Wait wait wait," Theseus said, grabbing Pirithous' shoulder and pulling. "You got a new one? I want to marry her!"
Riku sidled away from Pirithous and glanced at Sora... who looked like someone had snuck over and hit him upside the head with a Struggle bat.
"We'll get someone else for you," Pirithous said to placate Theseus. "I want Helen for myself." He turned to Riku, who cringed. "She's the most beautiful woman in the world, you know."
Yeah, maybe. Except for the 'woman' part. If she was more than thirteen, Riku was an old man and no, the hair didn't mean anything. He gave Pirithous some kind of noise in response. Appeased, he turned back to Theseus.
Riku glanced at the tent again. He saw a very wide violet-blue eye peeking between the flaps and he shook his head. Kairi drew back. Sora noticed and was looking at him, cocked his head to the side and flicked his eyes at the Greeks before staring at Riku. Riku shook his head again, a quick movement so Sora wouldn't vocalize the question on his face. The fight, meanwhile, was escalating.
"Hey," Riku said cheerfully, "I've got an idea!" He did, and it was absolutely brilliant.
Pirithous, one hand wrapped in the strap of Theseus' armor, paused to listen. Theseus stopped arguing and looked at Riku.
"Why don't you have a contest?"
The warriors unclenched, let go of each other, and watched Riku with unfocused, expectant eyes.
"You can have a race," Riku suggested, and the grin slipped further and further into a smirk. "Whoever gets to Thebes first..."
"...Will marry Helen?" Pirithous finished.
Riku heard sounds of a scuffle in the tent but couldn't afford to glance over, much less go inside. He needed to finish this while he still had the drunkards' attention.
"Well-"
"No, that's foolish," Theseus interrupted.
Sora- who had finally caught on- blinked and shut his gaping mouth. He gave Theseus a hopeful look.
"We'll draw lots!"
Pirithous thought that was a great idea- but he didn't want Theseus to pick first. So two lots wouldn't do. Off they went- all four of them- to gather stones. When they had a generous amount, nine of the most similar in shape and color were selected. The tenth matched those first nine in shape, but was darker in color. It would have worked better with marbles, but they didn't have any of those. All the stones went into the empty wine pitcher, the pitcher was corked, and thoroughly shaken.
They removed the cork again. Pirithous cupped his hand over the mouth of the pitcher and smirked.
"After I win Helen, I vow to help you gain your bride, Theseus."
Theseus huffed. "When I win, I'll help you get another bride."
Kairi watched all of this from between the tent flaps as she nursed a bruised elbow, cheek, and a few scratches on one leg. She put a hand on Helen's shoulder. The girl was only ten- a little more than half Kairi's muscle mass, and nowhere near her combat experience. She'd still managed to surprise the hell out of Kairi and get her into a headlock. A brief headlock- but still.
Kairi managed to pin her, assure the girl that neither she nor Sora or Riku would make her do anything she didn't want. Helen subsided, grudgingly, as she realized there was no way to fight her way out of a campsite with five enemies. At least... not at the present time. She settled down near the tent flaps to listen to the conversation, her pretty hair disheveled and her pretty eyes glaring fiercely at Kairi. Her pretty little mouth trembled, but Kairi didn't call attention to that. Helen seemed annoyed at any evidence of weakness, however small.
"You'll see," Kairi murmured, closing one eye and peering out with the other. "My boys will figure out how to send them off and then you can tell us how to get you home."
Despite herself, Helen seemed intrigued and crept closer. Kairi leaned away to give her room. The girl looked out. "Both of those men... take you?"
Well, wasn't that forward? But Kairi grinned. "I take them too- but yes."
"Two of them... hmm," the girl murmured. "These thieves grabbed me as I made sacrifices to Artemis." She looked at Kairi. "That's ironic, isn't it?"
Kairi agreed. She didn't understand it, but it probably was ironic. All too soon, Pirithous tilted the pitcher and Helen tensed, digging smooth fingers into her stola. He opened his hand, grunted at the stone he'd claimed and tossed it over his shoulder- a grey one. Theseus dug in- and produced another grey. Stone after stone and by the last three, Helen nearly vibrated with tension. Theseus clasped a stone, tilted the pitcher upright, opened his hand and cried out in triumph. Pirithous groaned and Helen sucked in a breath. Theseus smiled cockily and stood up, took a step towards the tent.
Kairi swept Helen behind her and raised her arm.
"But you don't have any weapons," the girl whispered.
"Don't I?" Kairi murmured.
"Woah there, your Majesty," Riku was there, standing before the tent, putting a hand on Theseus' chest.
Sora flinched at that. Theseus glared, but Riku only smirked. Luckily Theseus was far too drunk to notice the glare in Riku's eyes, or how his lips twisted around the title.
"That's not fair, now is it? You can't claim the prize before you help out your buddy, right?"
Sora flexed his hand. Clench and release... clench and release... and Theseus sat back down. So did Riku, and put an arm around Sora's shoulders, jostling him playfully. His jaw hurt. Oh. Yeah, he was glaring. He shouldn't do that.
"I apologize," Theseus murmured.
Pirithous sighed, so put-upon, and shook his head. "Who am I going to marry?"
"Well-" Riku began.
"Only a daughter of Zeus will do!" Pirithous interrupted.
Theseus dissolved into praise of his newly won 'bride', "Truly she will be a queen worthy of the city beloved by wise Athena."
"Oh," Sora muttered, "I'm sure she's proud of you."
Riku squeezed his shoulders a little tighter in warning.
"A daughter of Zeus, huh?" Riku grinned a little more.
"Persephone!" Kairi shrilled as she climbed out of the tent. "Are you crazy?"
Riku only smirked and offered her a hand up. "Are you saying they don't richly deserve it?"
Kairi let him pull her to her feet. Then she turned and offered Helen a hand up. The girl stood, and bowed deeply to all of them. Then she straightened and grinned mischievously. She really was beautiful. Sora realized he was staring... he should probably do something about that.
Riku was busy chortling over his own brilliance. "Persephone can handle herself against Pirithous and Theseus... if Hades doesn't char-broil them as soon as they set foot in the door."
"Why would he do that?"
Sora was paying attention to the conversation, really.
"Because we're going to tell him that they're coming."
Sora blinked. He turned to Riku. "I'm sorry. We're going to what?"
"They deserve it!" Helen insisted, voice like a small but impressively loud bird and... yeah, Sora wasn't going to look again. "They kidnapped me!"
"I'm not saying they shouldn't be punished," Sora threw up his hands, "but Hades?"
"It's Pirithous' own fault for wanting a 'bigger challenge'," Riku said.
"Oh," Kairi said wryly, "and your mention of 'that poor beautiful goddess, trapped in a loveless marriage' didn't help tip the scales at all."
"His idea of punishment isn't exactly fair," Sora protested. "Do I need to remind you about that contract thing last year?"
"We'll just-" then Riku fell abruptly silent. Then they all heard it- the sound of two horses.
Kairi darted back into the tent, shoving Helen in before her. Sora and Riku turned to the darkness, waiting. Two horses approached- and the two men upon them said nothing, weapons bared. They were not Theseus and Pirithous returned for more words. One was fair, and one dark, but they said nothing, glaring down upon them.
The dark one spoke. "Two men came this way with a young girl. Tell us what direction they took and you will be rewarded with your lives. Say nothing and-"
"CASTOR!"
Riku flinched, nearly drew Way to the Dawn out of nerves as Helen flew from the tent and forward into the light. The fair-haired man quickly dismounted and ran to meet her halfway. Standing together, the family resemblance was obvious.
"Helen-"
"Pollux, all is well," she cried, taking his gloved hand in both of hers. "My abductors are gone- these travelers said they'd take me back to Athens for that idiot who wanted to marry me-"
The dark one, Castor, had begun to relax- and quickly raised the wicked looking axe in his hand.
Pollux' head snapped up and he glared at Riku, then Sora. "They what?"
"But they were never going to, really," Helen continued. "They-"
They sorted things out... eventually.
"So our options," Kairi muttered as they lay together that night, some time after Helen and her brothers had ridden off, "are to do nothing at all, and maybe Pirithous and Theseus will think better of this and go home..."
"Never happen," Riku said, stroking her arm. "Pirithous is determined to win himself a bride."
"So he'll try to make off with Persephone, she'll kick his butt, but probably think they're funny, so maybe they'll get out alive," Sora mumbled against Riku's shoulder.
"Or," Kairi said, "we can tell Hades, possibly avoid getting shot for being the messengers, and there will be no chance they'll get out alive."
"I vote for not telling him," Sora yawned. "Hades will want them to suffer. I'm... not sure anyone deserves that."
Kairi and Riku fell silent. Recent events gave them a little perspective on the kind of torture Hades liked to inflict. He was very, very creative.
"Okay," Riku murmured. "You win. But this time, I'm rooting for Hades."
Sora muttered something that wasn't actual words, well on his way to falling asleep. Kairi moved a little closer to Riku, stroking her hand down his side.
"Why?"
He pulled her close in turn, hugging her. Kairi felt the warmth of his armlet on her skin. He sighed.
"I'm tired of seeing girls in cages."
The God of the Dead was having a good morning. Good, that tripped right over the edge into orgasmic, then settled comfortably into fantastic and... well it was too good to last. But Hades was much, much better at enjoying the good before it slipped into rage-inducing and Persephone was thus less frequently exasperated with him and his moods.
He woke up to find his wife in a beautifully rumpled sprawl over more than half the bed, using his arm as a pillow, and enjoyed the scenery. Eventually he moved closer and kissed her cheek- then her jaw, down her neck... and about then Persephone woke up deliciously amorous. She responded to the kissing... and it took them another hour to get out of bed.
Then another hour, as they decided to have breakfast there. The imps only spilled one thing, and it was on the floor, rather than the sheets. Easy clean-up and a little imp flambé. Bonus.
"So I have an idea," he said around a mouthful of fig.
"Hmm?" Persephone sighed pleasantly, stretching and draping her arm over his waist.
"How about a long bath- at the same time-"
Persephone burst into contented laughter, as if she hadn't assumed he meant taking a bath together.
"-we make the morning rounds, then meet back here for lunch?"
She hummed, amused he hadn't suggested taking a day off. But the world was horribly dependant on maintenance. If you didn't work at it every day, weeds sprang up everywhere except the place you wanted them. Hades, despite his general dislike of oh, everything about his position, knew his job. He could no more play hookey than she could. The imps would do something wrong, if they hadn't already, and as much as they tried to fix it, that wasn't in their job description. The idea of an imp repair crew was as ludicrous as throwing oil to smother a fire.
"Mmmmyes," she said. "There's only one problem."
"Mm?"
"I don't want to get up."
Hades made a thoughtful sound. Then, so quickly she couldn't find time to protest the cold, Hades had thrown off the blankets, caught her up, and was striding toward the bathing room. Persephone clutched him around the shoulders and laughed.
They had their bath, they had a 'have a good day, pookie' kiss... and nearly wound up back in bed after they followed that kiss with another, and then another-
"No," she sighed, and kissed him again, "I have to go." Again. "Really have to go." Again, and she couldn't quite seem to convince herself to back up and release the clutch of her hands in his robes. Hades chuckled. "Okay," Persephone muttered to herself, eyes closed, "now- right now-" and then she disappeared.
Hades stood in the faint cloud of smoke she left, breathing in flowers, sunshine and the slow, musty growth of roots under soil. He smirked and made his way to whatever the imps needed punishment for this time, considering the new reports.
There had been a slow expansion of knowledge the last few years. As a result of the Keybrat's crusade, all the running around of Nobodies and Heartless and various forms of annoying (although sometimes useful) cross-world contamination, Hades had grown curious about the yutzes outside his own sphere. Sure he'd always known about them, but he had his own issues, his own plans for total world domination, and who gave two pitas about some guy on some world who came up with some 'brilliant plan' which usually had holes in the logic so big that a newly-spawned imp could stick its pointy little head into them?
But his schnookie was all about the inter-world relations. She'd begun to check up on current off-world events and share the more amusing or diabolical tidbits with him. After a most fascinating train wreck-that-nearly-was, Hades realized he'd gotten hooked, and when Seph was topside spending her evenings on Mt. Olympus with mummy dearest, Hades still kept up with the news. He enjoyed it more when Seph filtered out the boring stuff, but it was entertaining all the same. The failures of other worlds were damn funny, and sometimes he could see, obviously why the plan had gone south and avoid their mistakes.
Take, for example, that one world. A little too music obsessed, with the Composers and Conductors and Players and Noise etc. etc., it sounded like they were cutting in on Fantasia's action. That just went to show you, everyone copied these days.
So the head Music Man got bored and wanted to turn in the feather mantle. Shrug off all responsibility, say 'forget this shit' and tear the whole place out by the roots.
Hades could relate.
His second banana... or fiddle, in this case, said 'No, wait- we can do better!' So Music Man said 'sure- change things around and we'll go with that. Fail and you die.'
Hades could get behind that too.
There were mind-control devices, precocious brats with too much firepower and no respect (who did that sound like?) animal side-kicks, alternate dimensions, the whole shebang, but lo and behold, Music Man gets taken in by some brat's offerings of trust and friendship and this is why you didn't get close to the hired help.
It was probably a good thing, in the end, that he hadn't gotten the Keybrat for his minion. Not only because Seph might have... yeeegh. But his beautiful schnookie had already brought sunshine and rainbows (in a manner of speaking) to his life. If he started getting cheerful and actually, gods forbid, helping people, he'd have to kill himself...
and he still wouldn't get time off work.
But life was interesting and work was slightly less annoying than it used to be. Right now he was thinking more about the lazy-sweaty morning he'd just spent with Seph and less about her taking off in about a week to live topside.
But he'd been the Fates' personal joke for a few millennia now, and he really should have seen it coming.
The imp was small, winged, bright green, and a girl. Hades heard it before he saw it, the buzzing echo of its wings from down the corridor and he turned around, blinked... hadn't he seen this one somewhere before? It looked vaguely familiar.
It zipped up to him, grinning.
"I know something you don't know!"
Hades considered his options. One, fry the minion. Two, ask what it wanted. Three, ignore it and get the info, which may or may not have been important, faster. He rolled his eyes at the imp, said nothing, and kept walking. He remembered a little too late that this particular minion's name was Jealousy.
It wasn't difficult to locate her husband when Hades was in one of his moods.
When Persephone didn't find Hades waiting in their bedchamber, she followed the scent of burning ego and smoke. Pain and Panic were crouched by the wall in a nondescript part of the Underworld. They weren't singed although Hades was orange, so it wasn't the imps who'd messed up. For once.
"So I am going to go up there, I'm going to find those brainless yutzes and that idiot Pirithous is gonna get what's comin' to him!"
Persephone was, by this time, standing just behind him.
"Who is Pirithous and what has he got coming to him?"
Hades flinched, whipped around. "Night blossom! What are you-"
She raised an eyebrow.
"Oh! Oh yeah, lunch. Right, let's go!" he slung an arm around her shoulders but Persephone wouldn't be moved, stock-still. Rooted to the ground, one might have said. Pain and Panic were significantly less interested in sticking around and took the opening to run away.
"Hades."
"Hmm?"
Persephone smiled in spite of herself. "Don't try to look innocent, you're not good at it."
"Drat." He stopped trying to propel her down the corridor and Persephone reached up, twined her fingers with the ones hanging over her shoulder.
"Who is Pirithous?"
Hades sneered at the name, then adopted a look of nonchalance and shrugged, waving his other hand in the air.
"Oh, just another dumb mortal, King of some group that starts with 'l'. The Lapels or something."
"Uh-huh. You care about the living as much as you do the dead," she said flatly. Which was to say, one olive's worth in oil. Persephone reasoned that the idiot, whoever he was, couldn't be dead or Hades would be doing, instead of talking.
"What," she went on, "has he done to be so worthy of your attention?"
Hades sighed, and seethed. Persephone rolled her head back against his arm, enjoying the warmth against her aching neck and looking up at her husband. When the orange finally dulled to pale blue, he rolled his eyes. Staring at the cavern floor, stroking his chin, he told her.
"He and his muscle-brained buddy's wives died a while ago- came through, got processed, onward to Elysium, yadda yadda yadda. The buff and bereaved they think they're gonna grab themselves a few daughters of Zeus to replace 'em."
Persephone snorted. "Well aren't they ambitious."
Hades grunted, still looking at the floor.
"But why do you care?" Persephone chuckled, slipping out from beneath his arm and twitching the folds of his toga back into alignment. "Did my father say something about you aiding in their capture? Oh wait- stupid question." Zeus rarely paid much attention to his daughters past the date of conception, although he did find uppity mortals worth smiting.
Hades cupped her chin in his hand, tilting gently upward. He looked very seriously into her eyes before speaking.
"No. Your father didn't say anything."
"Then how did you find out?" Persephone asked. Now she was curious.
Hades blinked, stared at her for a moment. His brow furrowed. He shoved his thumb and forefinger against his head and rubbed before opening his eyes, raising his eyebrows and looking at her.
"Not the point I'm trying to convey here, Seph."
Her father hadn't said anything, but Hades knew and he was personally offended. Pirithous, whoever he was, was going after daughters of... ohhhhh. Persephone gaped at Hades. Hades was nodding, fake smile and wide eyes and 'oh gee, glad you finally caught up'.
"But I'm married!" she cried indignantly.
"I know that!" Hades said.
Persephone flung an arm that was already flushing vermillion into the open air. "I'm a Queen-"
"I know that," Hades said.
"and I'm a goddess," she shouted into her husband's face.
"I know that!" He put his hands around the fist with which Persephone was gestulating, pulled it carefully away from the stone wall it could collapse without much effort. Living underground with someone who could manipulate the earth could be exciting, and not in a fun way.
"What," she continued to rant as Hades put his arm around her shoulders again, and this time successfully guided her down the corridor, "makes him think he can just come down here and carry me off?"
"I'm gonna take a wild guess and say thinking didn't enter into this equation."
"I doubt they'd know an equation if it bit them on the abacus."
Hades snickered and they kept walking. Persephone wormed her arm up and around Hades' waist as they returned to the bedchamber- found lunch waiting, arranged on two little tables set before two low couches, traditional, fancy, with all the little touches that made a meal worth cooing over. Persephone grimaced, snapped her fingers and there was only one couch, double wide. The tables shrieked in a protest of stone on stone, skidding across the floor and meeting with the crash of several dishes. She didn't let go of Hades as she sat them both down and reached for a loaf of bread.
"Maybe they think you like that kind of thing, Seph." Hades stroked up the vermillion of her arm. "Most people still think I carried you off."
"Yes," she mused, leaning into the kisses and nuzzling of his face into her neck. "We have mummy dearest to thank for that." Persephone tore off the end of the loaf with excessively violent movements before setting the rest down. Demeter and her 'Free Seph' campaign. Complete with propaganda and mudslinging. The last month before the very first 'autumn' had not been pretty.
Persephone ripped off a bite, chewing viciously, stroking her husband's arm with her free hand. She considered the situation, leaning into Hades' touch, letting it calm her and her skin bled from crimson to rose-pink. "Maybe they could carry me off Mount Olympus," she muttered sarcastically.
Hades chortled against her shoulder. Persephone sank against his broad chest and he replaced his lips with his hands.
"Demeter would raise the alarm," Hades purred.
"I could slip away from the mortals and sneak down to be with you." Not that Seph needed help to slip away for a little conjugational visit. Hades had offered to help find loopholes in the restrictions barring Seph from staying in the Underworld, and Hades going to Mt. Olympus to see her one half of every year. Persephone had declined- she didn't need his help, and didn't want him implicated in the rule-breaking. It wasn't that she didn't want him to get into trouble. Hades had elevated troublemaking into an art form, and she so appreciated fine art. She just found it more amusing when Demeter inevitably caught them out and mumsie was forced to realize Persephone had not only initiated her own jailbreak, she had been the mastermind.
That didn't stop Demeter from blaming Hades, but what could you do? Either way, Hades got his pookie and they both got to thumb their noses at not only Demeter, but the One-Million-And-One Bolt Wonder.
"But they'd probably blame you before they thought of looking for me among the mortals," Persephone sighed, munched on her bread.
"Well yeah, but it'd be so much fun to let the hot air out of their sails," Hades snickered. "I can see it now 'Whaddaya mean she's not with you?'"
Persephone chuckled.
"I could play the hero and come to your rescue," he drawled, lowering his face to her shoulder. "Really throw Zeusy for a loop. There could be some quality smiting!"
"Hmm," Persephone chewed meditatively. "Is this Pirithous attractive?"
Hades paused mid-nibble and looked like a wolf gnawing a particularly shapely pink bone. He raised his head very, very slowly.
"Why?"
Persephone shrugged. A sly look crossed her narrowed eyes, her wide smile, before she turned to face him and was all innocence, unlined brow and casual, utterly calm tilt of lips. It was a very good job. Hades still didn't buy it. He knew her too well.
"Really? Because I know you like to look," he turned her to sit sideways, facing him. "Seeeeeeph."
"I like to touch better," she said, leering and leaning forward, walking her fingers up his abdomen.
"Hmmph," he smirked, but he hadn't quite given in yet. "Yeah, you have experience in manhandling."
"I know what a pleasure it can be to handle you," she said archly, poking him in the chest.
"Just so you aren't handling anyone else."
"So part of handling you is keeping my hands to myself?" Persephone teased, lacing her fingers together behind her back. She leaned forward a little more.
Hades lounged back against a raised edge of the couch, settling his arm across it. He pouted.
"That's not as fun."
Persephone smiled. A wavy lock of hair, sun-gold, escaped the elaborate up-do she favored. It bowed outward, out of place, before loosing from the rest and tumbling down to frame her face. Another followed it. Another, and another, until the fire-crown crackled merrily on top of her hair instead of around it.
"I don't need hands to touch you, darling," she murmured. Persephone brought her legs up, kneeling on the couch and walking on her knees to straddle his hip. Hades lay back all the while, drinking her in through heavy-lidded eyes, smirking. She leaned over him, above him, tendrils of hair brushing his face. Lips, nose, sharp cheeks and the cleft of his chin. His forehead. They tickled. Persephone's stola draped temptingly, hanging low enough at the neck to reveal the skin beneath her collarbone, the swell of her breast. Persephone leaned over him, smiling and in control without the use of hands, mocking, daring him-
She caught her breath as Hades struck, surging forward and grabbing her upper arms, pulling her to him and kissing her hungrily- he hadn't had any lunch- bearing her down to the couch. Persephone reached for him then, just as eager as the hands unpinning the cloth at her shoulders, bunching up the dark violet that swished about her legs.
Persephone moaned and Hades echoed it, crawling more firmly onto the improvised mattress. His foot caught the edge of the table as he did- kicking it upside-down and toppling all the dishes that had survived the first assault.
Neither deity cared.
Part Two
Author/Artist:
syviaRating: R
Warnings: coarse language, disturbing content, sexual themes
Word Count: 14,172
Summary: Hades/Persephone, Sora/Riku/Kairi, Hercules/Meg, Zeus/the entire world. It's okay to have really, really stupid ideas when you're drunk. The problem is following through with them once you're sober.
Prompt: Crossover: Kingdom Hearts 2/Greek mythology, Hades/Persephone: arguments/banter, jealousy - “That idiot Pirithous' is gonna get what's comin' to him!”
Author's Notes: Oh my god, I can't believe I finished on time. :O
A big, big hand for my beta-reader,
crimsoncookie, who helps me formulate ideas, lets me steal quotes, and keeps me motivated through horribly epic one-shot fics.The first two fics in this series are Love Me, Love Me Not and Fine Print. It’s not required that you read them first, but they help, as does a healthy knowledge of Greek Mythology. I very much hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go over there... *points* and... *flops over, snoring*.
Most ill-fated conversations began over an empty wine pitcher.
Someone paid the queen of Ethiopia a compliment- and a little too fuzzy on cup after cup of alcohol she said, "Oh indeed, good man. My lovely Andromeda and I are more beautiful than all the Nereids in the wine-dark sea!"
Although that one ended fairly well, all things considered. Not so much for Arachne, who got drunk one night, toasted her loom with the last cup, and began to talk to herself.
Related to but not the direct cause of this story, one night Leda accepted Tyndareus of Sparta's offer of another round and, after they'd kept some pleasurable company, decided to take a walk around the lake. Purportedly, she was heard cooing, "Oh, aren't you the most beautiful swan-"
It's rather certain the swan talked back... well... being a swan (at the time) it didn't talk, but it communicated.
Perhaps the recurrence of the empty-pitcher conversation is an honest quirk of their World, because certainly part of it began when a young man turned to his brother and said;
"The gods like me better, Romulus."
Dionysus would have said there was an easy solution to this problem.
Don't let the pitcher get empty.
That way, you drank until you passed out, and if you did somehow hold an ill-fated conversation, you'd never remember it through the next morning's hangover.
Dionysus would have said so, but philosophers were a generally melancholy lot, so he made a point never to say anything philosophical.
Unfortunate, that, since many a bad decision might have been prevented if someone had said it.
After the death of his wife, Pirithous, king of the Lapiths, visited his very... very good friend Theseus, king of Athens.
They were slumped on the same couch, Pirithous' left leg dangling off the far side and his head resting on Theseus' upper arm. Most of Pirithous was resting on Theseus, who in turn leaned heavily on the raised end of the couch. Each held a cup in his palm, each was empty, and Theseus had surrendered the last few drops of their pitcher to Pirithous seconds before.
Clearly things would only get worse from there.
"My wife is dead," Pirithous mumbled, staring at the dregs of his liquid comfort.
Theseus couldn't move his left arm. He reached his right arm over and patted the most accessible part of his friend's body, that being his forehead.
"I know," he said in a vague, sleepy sort of voice. "Mine too."
Pirithous gave a pathetic little half-whine and let the cup slide out of his hand. It hit his foot before settling on the marble floor, but he hardly noticed. He clutched Theseus' arm.
"I want another one!" he wailed.
"Then," Theseus blinked rapidly, trying to clear the spots from the edge of his vision, "you should go for it." He spoke slowly, reasoning very hard through the drunken half-stupor and doing his best not to slur his words. "You're a beautiful man," he said, glancing down at Pirithous. He blinked, peered at his friend to make sure he was right before saying it again. "A beautiful man... and there's no reason," he licked the inside of his mouth, sucking at the wine's bitter aftertaste, "you can't get some- some... beautiful young thing."
"You're a beautiful man too," Pirithous noticed, leaning away from Theseus- and nearly falling off the couch as he overbalanced.
"Yes," Theseus answered gravely, almost toppling with him, "I am."
"So... we should both get new queens."
Theseus observed their proximity to the floor. Clearly the discussion would be better continued there. You couldn't fall off the floor. Theseus put out a hand, but the floor was moving, thwarting his attempts at balance and he slipped, and wound up on his back... on the floor. Goal accomplished.
Pirithous blinked at where Theseus had been sitting, and swayed as he turned to look at his friend.
It sounded like a good idea- he could use a new queen, since the last one had died.
"What kind of queen? Should we find some that are already queens?" he raised a hand, pointing at the ceiling to emphasize the next part. "That way, they'll already be used to all the queenly stuff-"
Pirithous glared and Theseus flinched. His friend wasn't an angry drunk, but when he got angry... it was bad.
"No, screw mortal women. They up and leave."
Wait, what? Theseus' head lolled to the side and he thought about that- it was a little confusing but he thought he understood... "Um... you screw a mortal woman and then she leaves?"
"No- yes!" Pirithous exulted. "Yes! They leave- so what we need is immortal women."
Clearly this was a brilliant idea. Pirithous was so impressed with his logic that he got up to pace... and only got as far as two centimeters off the couch before he sat back down.
"We're both handsome, well-muscled men with gorgeous heads of hair!"
Theseus rolled his eyes upward, but his hair refused to cooperate by moving into his field of vision. Oh well. He could see Pirithous'. Indeed, it was a gorgeous head of hair.
"Let's aim high, since we can!" he ranted, every word thunderous in all its gleeful, diabolical glory, "We're brave and strong, and we can do it!"
Enthralled, Theseus could only gape and nod.
"We're more than worthy of nymphs... hell, we could have- have... Zeus' daughters!"
The Muses- who had been lurking in the fresco on the wall behind the drunken heroes, flinched in perfect synchronization. They looked at each other as Pirithous flung his arms wide.
"The best part is, there's so many of them to choose from!"
The Muses scattered right about then, so records fail to show how the conversation ended.
Landing on the World that many travelers called the 'Olympus Coliseum' wasn't all that tricky, really. Technologically speaking, the World was backwater. Magically speaking, there was no formal education system. Oh there was education, and philosophy, and a few wonderful libraries here and there. When something mystical happened though, people had a tendency to sit back and say 'a god/goddess did it'.
Which wasn't so bad- unless you were responsible and you weren't an actual god or goddess. Even then, maybe you'd get someone trying to pay tribute, bothering you for help or advice. Most of the time you could fake the appropriate behavior until they went away, or claim to be a child of the gods, or blessed by them. People would cut you slack- it was the actual deities that would smite you for the presumption.
Sora liked to keep a low profile. Had ever since Hercules had taken him aside during the last visit and explained that Sora was his buddy, had the Grecian stamp of approval from Zeus himself and several other members of the Pantheon, but some of the gods liked to smite first and ask questions later, not to mention Hades had a perpetual hate-on for him and Olympus really wasn't a world he wanted to try dying on. Even for a little while.
Sora and his friends were careful to land in unpopulated areas and keep the spells to an absolute minimum. The less they had to use 'the gods gave it to me' as an explanation for the Keyblades, the better off they were.
"This," Sora murmured when they touched down, "is more low-key than we've ever been before." He lifted a foot, wiggled his toes against the sandal that laced halfway up his knee. Sora thoughtfully picked at the folds of his toga, angled his arm for a better look at the brass torque encircling his bicep. Kairi and Riku stood beside him and did the same.
"Long skirt," Kairi muttered.
"You spent three weeks training in Kyoshi-" Riku began, pulling the leather thong out of his hair and ruffling it.
"And I will never get the same range of movement in a long skirt as I do in a short one," Kairi said before he could finish.
"What about turning your enemies' expectations against them?" he smirked, gathering his hair at the nape of his neck and tying it back.
Kairi eyed him for a moment.
"Riku, have I mentioned lately that you have shapely calves?" she said sweetly, clasping her hands together and batting her eyelashes. Riku grunted and knelt, running a finger beneath the lacing of one sandal until it wasn't digging into his leg.
"You know what this means, right?" Sora grinned, turning to face them. "This World's gotten big enough that it called the normal people back! We can't risk tipping off the natives about other worlds, so we get an automatic wardrobe change!" A spell of Donald's invention and something Sora had begun casting before they landed, every trip, just as a precaution. A necessary one now, as they had the Heartless on the run from this part of the universe, and some of the Worlds had begun to expand not month by month, but hourly.
Riku smirked. "So you'll wanna say that a little louder, right? Because I don't think everyone on Mt. Olympus heard you."
Kairi ducked out of the way, laughing, as Sora aimed a punch at Riku's shoulder. It didn't connect, but he wasn't really trying. He jogged a few steps before turning, walking backwards and grinning at them.
"C'mon! Let's see what's new!"
Then he tripped on his native footwear and nearly took a header into the dirt.
Conversing with a farmer or two further up the road gave them directions and showed just how quickly Sora had learned to think under pressure as, when asked where they were from, he didn't even blink before he said 'Thebes'.
Luckily the farmers weren't aware of just how far Thebes was from Sparta, or even this particular stretch of farmland, which was also rather far from Sparta. There would have been questions about the three travelers and, considering their fine clothing, their lack of food, servants and even horses.
They passed along with the farmer's hope of good crops and blessings from the gods, and Kairi improvised a response. Any inconsistencies were okay. They were from Thebes, after all.
"Thebes?" Riku murmured.
"S' where Hercules lives," Sora muttered back. "Phil told me if anyone ever asked, that's what I should tell them."
Riku thought about that, and nodded. Phil was the deep thinker of that group, unless there happened to be a nubile young thing around to distract him, in which case Meg pulled into the lead.
"It might be wise to buy a map once we get to the nearest city," Kairi murmured. "I wonder how well the locals take to strangers." They exchanged a glance.
"So which contingency plan sounds good for this world?" Riku grinned, cock-sure and lazy... but it never reached his eyes.
They didn't get to a town by nightfall. Sora called a tent from the Gummi (also bespelled to blend in with the World) and they set up camp. Sora distributed the pre-packaged food they'd brought from Radiant Garden.
"Breakfast for dinner?" Riku teased, making a slit in the top of the seal and laying the silvery package close to the fire.
"Should we be eating these?" Kairi did the same and looked around nervously. "If we're keeping low-profile..."
"They won't be good for much longer," Sora shrugged. "As good as Aerith wrapped them. But these are Leon's bacon and egg wraps. It's a tragedy to waste food this good."
As it turned out, there was no reason for her to worry. They were starving, the wraps didn't take long to heat, and no Grecian natives dropped by to interrupt their meal. They sent the packaging back to the ship. Just in case.
"That design looks oddly familiar," Kairi was sitting next to Sora, hands on either side of the armlet. It was a flat circlet of metal that stayed in place simply because it was just tight enough not to slip. Flat, but running her fingers over it, Kairi could feel carved indentations, fanciful whorls and circlets that appeared to hinge around one large circle and two smaller ones.
"I can change it," Sora grinned. The brass shimmered, and then she was looking at a conical shape- with tiny stars and a crescent moon. Kairi blinked, and it changed again- a curved, sideways... an oil lamp? Suddenly Kairi was looking at the shape of her own lucky charm and she understood.
"Oh... oh!" and she realized Sora and Riku were smirking at her. Kairi stuck her tongue out at Riku and swatted Sora on the head. "They're that uninformed here?"
"Nah," Sora shrugged. "They'd probably recognize the Keyblade. Everyone does. The spell just thinks they'll have a problem with keychains."
It was then she noticed a similar piece of jewelry on Riku's forearm, dark metal with pale accents, as if someone had left it to tarnish, then taken a needle dipped in silver polish and drawn on it. Kairi didn't have one. Didn't need a representation of her stave to call it or change it. She suspected sometimes that Sora didn't either, but he liked his Keychains. Every little object that was a keepsake of someone important to him and he'd made into something powerful. He was sentimental. It was very sweet.
Riku opened his mouth to comment on that. Then the smirk disappeared. His eyes shifted to the left while his body remained perfectly still.
"Incoming."
Kairi looked up. Riku turned and Sora shifted his weight. All three stared into the darkness. They waited, and then Kairi heard the rhythmic thumping, unhurried but firm, until they stopped. Hoofbeats.
"Hello! Hello the camp!"
Riku stood up slowly, holding his arm stiffly out to one side. Sora also stood and Kairi uncurled the fingers of her right hand, waiting.
"Hello!" Sora called. "Who's there?"
"Weary travelers, sir! Please, we have an injured young woman with us- may we share your fire?"
Sora bit back his response. Yes, of course they should come and share the fire- let them look at the injury. But this could be a trick. There might not be anyone hurt and these people were trying to catch them off guard. Sora watched Riku, whose nostrils flared. His lips were pursed, eyes narrowed and tracking slowly through the plain surrounding their campsite. Then he paused, looking at something. He lowered his hand and splayed the fingers, tilting it back and forth in a seemingly idle gesture.
"Yes," Sora answered, "please, come and sit with us."
They listened as hooves beat against the earth, moving closer until there were two horses in the firelight. Each horse had a rider, and behind one tall, olive-skinned man there was a young girl. She lay against the rider's back, unconscious. Riku moved to their side, waiting for the rider's nod of approval before reaching for her. No sooner had the girl's weight left the rider's back than the man swung down, off the other side of the horse. Riku stepped quickly forward, trying to control the sudden slide of her body- dead weight that was off balance and obeying the pull of gravity.
Riku maneuvered her awkwardly off the back of the animal and stumbled- the girl's leg was still laying on the horse's rump when the rider tugged on the reins, leading horse away to be tethered to a nearby tree. Riku had support of her upper body and most of one leg, glared at the rider as he tried not to jostle her too much as he shifted his grip, and Sora had gotten around the fire to help him.
"No," Riku muttered at the rider's back, "don't wait until she's safe before riding off," he turned, still muttering, and headed for the tent.
"You there!"
Sora flinched. Riku went very still and turned. Kairi was holding the tent flap open as they all looked at the rider who'd carried the girl with him. He was glaring, pointing at Riku with a belligerent jut of his chin.
"What are you doing?"
Riku looked at him and raised one eyebrow, very slowly. "You said she was injured. There are beds in the tent."
"So you think," the blond put his hand to his sword. He stepped forward and his voice grew louder as the fire painted his face in ugly lines, "you'll just help yourself to-"
Kairi saw Riku's eyes grow wide, shock, disbelief and then anger, violent disgust. She couldn't say she blamed him, if the man was making the accusation she thought she was hearing- but she stepped forward, moving between them as Sora looked on in confusion and the other rider put his hand on his friend's sword-hand.
"Peace, Pirithous. I'm certain he'll come right back out. Helen will be in far better comfort lying down and tended to by the lady," he smiled pleasantly at Kairi, nodded.
Kairi nodded back, but there was something in their eyes- the way they darted between her and the boys... came back to her and moved up, then down. She didn't have any problems holding the tent open for Riku, and following him in. She turned right around to watch them through the gap.
Sora cleared his throat, smiled nervously.
The blond was still scowling. He kept doing it until the brunet raised a corked bottle in one hand, lifted his free arm with his hand clenched in a fist. He smiled.
"Success!"
"Success!" Pirithous echoed. He raised his arm and they bumped wrists. Sora blinked again. Then he grunted as Pirithous grinned, all anger forgotten, and grabbed him close.
"Thank you for your generous hospitality! You must follow us to my homeland and sample ours in turn." Sora mumbled something into the man's leather breastplate.
Within the tent, Kairi choked back a snicker. Riku tugged at Kairi's hand and she turned. He'd set Helen down on one of their sleeping bags (which no longer resembled sleeping bags) and knelt beside her. Kairi knelt as well, leaned her head close. Riku put his mouth by her ear, and the inexplicably curly ringlets the World had twisted her hair into.
"Something's off about these two."
"Well yeah," Kairi muttered. "He was practically accusing you of... of," she couldn't even say it, gritting her teeth so hard that her jaw ached. She gripped Riku's arm until he pulled his hand back, stroked the back of her palm with his thumb.
"They're not too Dark, but they..." he breathed into her ear.
She nodded. They weren't any darker than your average human being. She got that. But just because they weren't Dark didn't mean they weren't... a little nuts. Riku left it at that.
"Do what you can for her, okay? She might tell us more about what attacked them." Maybe they were egotistical, not evasive... and maybe whatever had attacked them had them rattled, but their behavior set off warning bells.
Riku left the tent and Kairi looked down at her charge. The tent walls were thin enough to admit firelight. When her eyes adjusted, she could see more. The girl wasn't small, but young. Thin and lacking curves, but the shape of her face was quite fine, high cheekbones, well-shaped lips. Her hair was soft as down and very pale, turned ruddy in the odd light. Kairi put her hands down, cupping them over the first bruise. She cast a healing spell, feeding as little power as she possibly could into it. The clump of bells and flowers appeared within the circle of her hands and she caught all the light it created. There was a muffled ringing, but it didn't carry over the voices outside. The bruise on her small cheek faded and Kairi smiled.
This would be slow going, but avoid questions about god-like powers. Low-key had worked for them so far. Kairi saw the wisdom of sticking to it.
The blond warrior was staring in Riku's direction as he emerged from the tent, looking him up and down. Riku bristled. No. He hadn't been ravishing the little girl. He hadn't been ravishing the bigger girl, whom he more than had permission to ravish, either. What, could they smell the Darkness on him? Sora was grimacing a little and wiping his cheek. Both their visitors glistened with sweat despite the cool of the evening. Closer to the fire, their skin was more visible- as were the bruises dotting muscular arms and legs.
"Something roughed you guys up," Riku observed.
"Ah, indeed," the blond said. "But we haven't introduced ourselves! I am Pirithous, King of the Lapiths. This is my dear friend Theseus, King of Athens."
Riku didn't bat an eyelash. Sora grinned like a child at Christmas Town and moved to sit beside the brunet.
"Theseus? Theseus who defeated the Minotaur, Theseus?" he grabbed the man's hand, pumping it up and down. Theseus smiled as if he were used to this kind of reaction.
"Yes, I am he!"
Pirithous pouted. "... I stole his bulls."
Riku sat down across the fire from Sora and, despite his distaste of the man, to Pirithous' right. Theseus uncorked the jug and took a swig. Then he passed it to Pirithous. Theseus stopped his narrative to take a swig, passed it to Sora, who simply held it for a bit before handing it back. Theseus didn't seem to notice. He drank, passed it to Pirithous, who drank, passed it back... and so on. Until Pirithous, somewhat inebriated, noticed Riku was sitting there and included him in the rotation. He didn't drink either. Pirithous didn't notice.
If they were as drunk as they seemed, and off one pitcher of whatever alcohol was in the jug, Riku was certain he wanted none of it. He glanced sidelong in Sora's direction, and his friend caught it, grimaced quickly before smoothing into that bland, witless smile he'd been wearing.
Riku congratulated himself for teaching Sora the wisdom of keeping some emotions to yourself.
Pirithous launched into another story after Theseus- but one that Theseus had been there for, and frequently interrupted.
"So the centaurs (who're my relatives, by the way) decided they thought my bride was pretty-"
"-and the rest of the women-"
"Yeah! They were so drunk at that point!"
"Go on, go on," Theseus urged him, "what happened next?"
"You already know," Pirithous teased, "you were there."
Sora's eyebrows were so high, his forehead wrinkled. Riku's eyes, by comparison, became more and more narrow.
"Anyway," Pirithous continued, "they carried off the women. Just carried them off! Now the rest of them- that wasn't such a bother, but one of them was my wife!" he grinned... and then it fell away. "She's dead now."
Sora blinked. "Oh," he murmured. "I'm sorry."
But just as quickly, Pirithous was happy again, "It's okay! Because I just got a new one."
"You-" and Riku cut himself off. He glanced at the tent, and back to the men, oblivious, swaying a little in an effort to stay upright.
"Well that's great! Good for you!" Sora grinned. Riku shot him an exasperated look. He hadn't gotten it. Riku knew him. It wouldn't even have occurred to Sora that Pirithous was talking about the girl- even though he'd spent much more time on this world and he knew what these people could be like.
Pirithous tossed an arm around Riku's shoulders. He winced, denied the impulse to throw the heavier man off him and tried not to breathe in as Pirithous was talking.
"You have my most sincere, heartfelt apologies," he murmured, staring into Riku's eyes.
"Don't mention it," Riku muttered. But apparently Pirithous was an affectionate drunk, and liked it when people played hard-to-get. He ignored the wine Theseus was bumping against his shoulder and leaned into Riku. Riku would not look to Sora for help.
"You know... you're a beautiful man."
Oh god...s. No. No, he would not look for Sora's help... but he wouldn't complain much if Sora happened to offer-
"Wait wait wait," Theseus said, grabbing Pirithous' shoulder and pulling. "You got a new one? I want to marry her!"
Riku sidled away from Pirithous and glanced at Sora... who looked like someone had snuck over and hit him upside the head with a Struggle bat.
"We'll get someone else for you," Pirithous said to placate Theseus. "I want Helen for myself." He turned to Riku, who cringed. "She's the most beautiful woman in the world, you know."
Yeah, maybe. Except for the 'woman' part. If she was more than thirteen, Riku was an old man and no, the hair didn't mean anything. He gave Pirithous some kind of noise in response. Appeased, he turned back to Theseus.
Riku glanced at the tent again. He saw a very wide violet-blue eye peeking between the flaps and he shook his head. Kairi drew back. Sora noticed and was looking at him, cocked his head to the side and flicked his eyes at the Greeks before staring at Riku. Riku shook his head again, a quick movement so Sora wouldn't vocalize the question on his face. The fight, meanwhile, was escalating.
"Hey," Riku said cheerfully, "I've got an idea!" He did, and it was absolutely brilliant.
Pirithous, one hand wrapped in the strap of Theseus' armor, paused to listen. Theseus stopped arguing and looked at Riku.
"Why don't you have a contest?"
The warriors unclenched, let go of each other, and watched Riku with unfocused, expectant eyes.
"You can have a race," Riku suggested, and the grin slipped further and further into a smirk. "Whoever gets to Thebes first..."
"...Will marry Helen?" Pirithous finished.
Riku heard sounds of a scuffle in the tent but couldn't afford to glance over, much less go inside. He needed to finish this while he still had the drunkards' attention.
"Well-"
"No, that's foolish," Theseus interrupted.
Sora- who had finally caught on- blinked and shut his gaping mouth. He gave Theseus a hopeful look.
"We'll draw lots!"
Pirithous thought that was a great idea- but he didn't want Theseus to pick first. So two lots wouldn't do. Off they went- all four of them- to gather stones. When they had a generous amount, nine of the most similar in shape and color were selected. The tenth matched those first nine in shape, but was darker in color. It would have worked better with marbles, but they didn't have any of those. All the stones went into the empty wine pitcher, the pitcher was corked, and thoroughly shaken.
They removed the cork again. Pirithous cupped his hand over the mouth of the pitcher and smirked.
"After I win Helen, I vow to help you gain your bride, Theseus."
Theseus huffed. "When I win, I'll help you get another bride."
Kairi watched all of this from between the tent flaps as she nursed a bruised elbow, cheek, and a few scratches on one leg. She put a hand on Helen's shoulder. The girl was only ten- a little more than half Kairi's muscle mass, and nowhere near her combat experience. She'd still managed to surprise the hell out of Kairi and get her into a headlock. A brief headlock- but still.
Kairi managed to pin her, assure the girl that neither she nor Sora or Riku would make her do anything she didn't want. Helen subsided, grudgingly, as she realized there was no way to fight her way out of a campsite with five enemies. At least... not at the present time. She settled down near the tent flaps to listen to the conversation, her pretty hair disheveled and her pretty eyes glaring fiercely at Kairi. Her pretty little mouth trembled, but Kairi didn't call attention to that. Helen seemed annoyed at any evidence of weakness, however small.
"You'll see," Kairi murmured, closing one eye and peering out with the other. "My boys will figure out how to send them off and then you can tell us how to get you home."
Despite herself, Helen seemed intrigued and crept closer. Kairi leaned away to give her room. The girl looked out. "Both of those men... take you?"
Well, wasn't that forward? But Kairi grinned. "I take them too- but yes."
"Two of them... hmm," the girl murmured. "These thieves grabbed me as I made sacrifices to Artemis." She looked at Kairi. "That's ironic, isn't it?"
Kairi agreed. She didn't understand it, but it probably was ironic. All too soon, Pirithous tilted the pitcher and Helen tensed, digging smooth fingers into her stola. He opened his hand, grunted at the stone he'd claimed and tossed it over his shoulder- a grey one. Theseus dug in- and produced another grey. Stone after stone and by the last three, Helen nearly vibrated with tension. Theseus clasped a stone, tilted the pitcher upright, opened his hand and cried out in triumph. Pirithous groaned and Helen sucked in a breath. Theseus smiled cockily and stood up, took a step towards the tent.
Kairi swept Helen behind her and raised her arm.
"But you don't have any weapons," the girl whispered.
"Don't I?" Kairi murmured.
"Woah there, your Majesty," Riku was there, standing before the tent, putting a hand on Theseus' chest.
Sora flinched at that. Theseus glared, but Riku only smirked. Luckily Theseus was far too drunk to notice the glare in Riku's eyes, or how his lips twisted around the title.
"That's not fair, now is it? You can't claim the prize before you help out your buddy, right?"
Sora flexed his hand. Clench and release... clench and release... and Theseus sat back down. So did Riku, and put an arm around Sora's shoulders, jostling him playfully. His jaw hurt. Oh. Yeah, he was glaring. He shouldn't do that.
"I apologize," Theseus murmured.
Pirithous sighed, so put-upon, and shook his head. "Who am I going to marry?"
"Well-" Riku began.
"Only a daughter of Zeus will do!" Pirithous interrupted.
Theseus dissolved into praise of his newly won 'bride', "Truly she will be a queen worthy of the city beloved by wise Athena."
"Oh," Sora muttered, "I'm sure she's proud of you."
Riku squeezed his shoulders a little tighter in warning.
"A daughter of Zeus, huh?" Riku grinned a little more.
"Persephone!" Kairi shrilled as she climbed out of the tent. "Are you crazy?"
Riku only smirked and offered her a hand up. "Are you saying they don't richly deserve it?"
Kairi let him pull her to her feet. Then she turned and offered Helen a hand up. The girl stood, and bowed deeply to all of them. Then she straightened and grinned mischievously. She really was beautiful. Sora realized he was staring... he should probably do something about that.
Riku was busy chortling over his own brilliance. "Persephone can handle herself against Pirithous and Theseus... if Hades doesn't char-broil them as soon as they set foot in the door."
"Why would he do that?"
Sora was paying attention to the conversation, really.
"Because we're going to tell him that they're coming."
Sora blinked. He turned to Riku. "I'm sorry. We're going to what?"
"They deserve it!" Helen insisted, voice like a small but impressively loud bird and... yeah, Sora wasn't going to look again. "They kidnapped me!"
"I'm not saying they shouldn't be punished," Sora threw up his hands, "but Hades?"
"It's Pirithous' own fault for wanting a 'bigger challenge'," Riku said.
"Oh," Kairi said wryly, "and your mention of 'that poor beautiful goddess, trapped in a loveless marriage' didn't help tip the scales at all."
"His idea of punishment isn't exactly fair," Sora protested. "Do I need to remind you about that contract thing last year?"
"We'll just-" then Riku fell abruptly silent. Then they all heard it- the sound of two horses.
Kairi darted back into the tent, shoving Helen in before her. Sora and Riku turned to the darkness, waiting. Two horses approached- and the two men upon them said nothing, weapons bared. They were not Theseus and Pirithous returned for more words. One was fair, and one dark, but they said nothing, glaring down upon them.
The dark one spoke. "Two men came this way with a young girl. Tell us what direction they took and you will be rewarded with your lives. Say nothing and-"
"CASTOR!"
Riku flinched, nearly drew Way to the Dawn out of nerves as Helen flew from the tent and forward into the light. The fair-haired man quickly dismounted and ran to meet her halfway. Standing together, the family resemblance was obvious.
"Helen-"
"Pollux, all is well," she cried, taking his gloved hand in both of hers. "My abductors are gone- these travelers said they'd take me back to Athens for that idiot who wanted to marry me-"
The dark one, Castor, had begun to relax- and quickly raised the wicked looking axe in his hand.
Pollux' head snapped up and he glared at Riku, then Sora. "They what?"
"But they were never going to, really," Helen continued. "They-"
They sorted things out... eventually.
"So our options," Kairi muttered as they lay together that night, some time after Helen and her brothers had ridden off, "are to do nothing at all, and maybe Pirithous and Theseus will think better of this and go home..."
"Never happen," Riku said, stroking her arm. "Pirithous is determined to win himself a bride."
"So he'll try to make off with Persephone, she'll kick his butt, but probably think they're funny, so maybe they'll get out alive," Sora mumbled against Riku's shoulder.
"Or," Kairi said, "we can tell Hades, possibly avoid getting shot for being the messengers, and there will be no chance they'll get out alive."
"I vote for not telling him," Sora yawned. "Hades will want them to suffer. I'm... not sure anyone deserves that."
Kairi and Riku fell silent. Recent events gave them a little perspective on the kind of torture Hades liked to inflict. He was very, very creative.
"Okay," Riku murmured. "You win. But this time, I'm rooting for Hades."
Sora muttered something that wasn't actual words, well on his way to falling asleep. Kairi moved a little closer to Riku, stroking her hand down his side.
"Why?"
He pulled her close in turn, hugging her. Kairi felt the warmth of his armlet on her skin. He sighed.
"I'm tired of seeing girls in cages."
The God of the Dead was having a good morning. Good, that tripped right over the edge into orgasmic, then settled comfortably into fantastic and... well it was too good to last. But Hades was much, much better at enjoying the good before it slipped into rage-inducing and Persephone was thus less frequently exasperated with him and his moods.
He woke up to find his wife in a beautifully rumpled sprawl over more than half the bed, using his arm as a pillow, and enjoyed the scenery. Eventually he moved closer and kissed her cheek- then her jaw, down her neck... and about then Persephone woke up deliciously amorous. She responded to the kissing... and it took them another hour to get out of bed.
Then another hour, as they decided to have breakfast there. The imps only spilled one thing, and it was on the floor, rather than the sheets. Easy clean-up and a little imp flambé. Bonus.
"So I have an idea," he said around a mouthful of fig.
"Hmm?" Persephone sighed pleasantly, stretching and draping her arm over his waist.
"How about a long bath- at the same time-"
Persephone burst into contented laughter, as if she hadn't assumed he meant taking a bath together.
"-we make the morning rounds, then meet back here for lunch?"
She hummed, amused he hadn't suggested taking a day off. But the world was horribly dependant on maintenance. If you didn't work at it every day, weeds sprang up everywhere except the place you wanted them. Hades, despite his general dislike of oh, everything about his position, knew his job. He could no more play hookey than she could. The imps would do something wrong, if they hadn't already, and as much as they tried to fix it, that wasn't in their job description. The idea of an imp repair crew was as ludicrous as throwing oil to smother a fire.
"Mmmmyes," she said. "There's only one problem."
"Mm?"
"I don't want to get up."
Hades made a thoughtful sound. Then, so quickly she couldn't find time to protest the cold, Hades had thrown off the blankets, caught her up, and was striding toward the bathing room. Persephone clutched him around the shoulders and laughed.
They had their bath, they had a 'have a good day, pookie' kiss... and nearly wound up back in bed after they followed that kiss with another, and then another-
"No," she sighed, and kissed him again, "I have to go." Again. "Really have to go." Again, and she couldn't quite seem to convince herself to back up and release the clutch of her hands in his robes. Hades chuckled. "Okay," Persephone muttered to herself, eyes closed, "now- right now-" and then she disappeared.
Hades stood in the faint cloud of smoke she left, breathing in flowers, sunshine and the slow, musty growth of roots under soil. He smirked and made his way to whatever the imps needed punishment for this time, considering the new reports.
There had been a slow expansion of knowledge the last few years. As a result of the Keybrat's crusade, all the running around of Nobodies and Heartless and various forms of annoying (although sometimes useful) cross-world contamination, Hades had grown curious about the yutzes outside his own sphere. Sure he'd always known about them, but he had his own issues, his own plans for total world domination, and who gave two pitas about some guy on some world who came up with some 'brilliant plan' which usually had holes in the logic so big that a newly-spawned imp could stick its pointy little head into them?
But his schnookie was all about the inter-world relations. She'd begun to check up on current off-world events and share the more amusing or diabolical tidbits with him. After a most fascinating train wreck-that-nearly-was, Hades realized he'd gotten hooked, and when Seph was topside spending her evenings on Mt. Olympus with mummy dearest, Hades still kept up with the news. He enjoyed it more when Seph filtered out the boring stuff, but it was entertaining all the same. The failures of other worlds were damn funny, and sometimes he could see, obviously why the plan had gone south and avoid their mistakes.
Take, for example, that one world. A little too music obsessed, with the Composers and Conductors and Players and Noise etc. etc., it sounded like they were cutting in on Fantasia's action. That just went to show you, everyone copied these days.
So the head Music Man got bored and wanted to turn in the feather mantle. Shrug off all responsibility, say 'forget this shit' and tear the whole place out by the roots.
Hades could relate.
His second banana... or fiddle, in this case, said 'No, wait- we can do better!' So Music Man said 'sure- change things around and we'll go with that. Fail and you die.'
Hades could get behind that too.
There were mind-control devices, precocious brats with too much firepower and no respect (who did that sound like?) animal side-kicks, alternate dimensions, the whole shebang, but lo and behold, Music Man gets taken in by some brat's offerings of trust and friendship and this is why you didn't get close to the hired help.
It was probably a good thing, in the end, that he hadn't gotten the Keybrat for his minion. Not only because Seph might have... yeeegh. But his beautiful schnookie had already brought sunshine and rainbows (in a manner of speaking) to his life. If he started getting cheerful and actually, gods forbid, helping people, he'd have to kill himself...
and he still wouldn't get time off work.
But life was interesting and work was slightly less annoying than it used to be. Right now he was thinking more about the lazy-sweaty morning he'd just spent with Seph and less about her taking off in about a week to live topside.
But he'd been the Fates' personal joke for a few millennia now, and he really should have seen it coming.
The imp was small, winged, bright green, and a girl. Hades heard it before he saw it, the buzzing echo of its wings from down the corridor and he turned around, blinked... hadn't he seen this one somewhere before? It looked vaguely familiar.
It zipped up to him, grinning.
"I know something you don't know!"
Hades considered his options. One, fry the minion. Two, ask what it wanted. Three, ignore it and get the info, which may or may not have been important, faster. He rolled his eyes at the imp, said nothing, and kept walking. He remembered a little too late that this particular minion's name was Jealousy.
It wasn't difficult to locate her husband when Hades was in one of his moods.
When Persephone didn't find Hades waiting in their bedchamber, she followed the scent of burning ego and smoke. Pain and Panic were crouched by the wall in a nondescript part of the Underworld. They weren't singed although Hades was orange, so it wasn't the imps who'd messed up. For once.
"So I am going to go up there, I'm going to find those brainless yutzes and that idiot Pirithous is gonna get what's comin' to him!"
Persephone was, by this time, standing just behind him.
"Who is Pirithous and what has he got coming to him?"
Hades flinched, whipped around. "Night blossom! What are you-"
She raised an eyebrow.
"Oh! Oh yeah, lunch. Right, let's go!" he slung an arm around her shoulders but Persephone wouldn't be moved, stock-still. Rooted to the ground, one might have said. Pain and Panic were significantly less interested in sticking around and took the opening to run away.
"Hades."
"Hmm?"
Persephone smiled in spite of herself. "Don't try to look innocent, you're not good at it."
"Drat." He stopped trying to propel her down the corridor and Persephone reached up, twined her fingers with the ones hanging over her shoulder.
"Who is Pirithous?"
Hades sneered at the name, then adopted a look of nonchalance and shrugged, waving his other hand in the air.
"Oh, just another dumb mortal, King of some group that starts with 'l'. The Lapels or something."
"Uh-huh. You care about the living as much as you do the dead," she said flatly. Which was to say, one olive's worth in oil. Persephone reasoned that the idiot, whoever he was, couldn't be dead or Hades would be doing, instead of talking.
"What," she went on, "has he done to be so worthy of your attention?"
Hades sighed, and seethed. Persephone rolled her head back against his arm, enjoying the warmth against her aching neck and looking up at her husband. When the orange finally dulled to pale blue, he rolled his eyes. Staring at the cavern floor, stroking his chin, he told her.
"He and his muscle-brained buddy's wives died a while ago- came through, got processed, onward to Elysium, yadda yadda yadda. The buff and bereaved they think they're gonna grab themselves a few daughters of Zeus to replace 'em."
Persephone snorted. "Well aren't they ambitious."
Hades grunted, still looking at the floor.
"But why do you care?" Persephone chuckled, slipping out from beneath his arm and twitching the folds of his toga back into alignment. "Did my father say something about you aiding in their capture? Oh wait- stupid question." Zeus rarely paid much attention to his daughters past the date of conception, although he did find uppity mortals worth smiting.
Hades cupped her chin in his hand, tilting gently upward. He looked very seriously into her eyes before speaking.
"No. Your father didn't say anything."
"Then how did you find out?" Persephone asked. Now she was curious.
Hades blinked, stared at her for a moment. His brow furrowed. He shoved his thumb and forefinger against his head and rubbed before opening his eyes, raising his eyebrows and looking at her.
"Not the point I'm trying to convey here, Seph."
Her father hadn't said anything, but Hades knew and he was personally offended. Pirithous, whoever he was, was going after daughters of... ohhhhh. Persephone gaped at Hades. Hades was nodding, fake smile and wide eyes and 'oh gee, glad you finally caught up'.
"But I'm married!" she cried indignantly.
"I know that!" Hades said.
Persephone flung an arm that was already flushing vermillion into the open air. "I'm a Queen-"
"I know that," Hades said.
"and I'm a goddess," she shouted into her husband's face.
"I know that!" He put his hands around the fist with which Persephone was gestulating, pulled it carefully away from the stone wall it could collapse without much effort. Living underground with someone who could manipulate the earth could be exciting, and not in a fun way.
"What," she continued to rant as Hades put his arm around her shoulders again, and this time successfully guided her down the corridor, "makes him think he can just come down here and carry me off?"
"I'm gonna take a wild guess and say thinking didn't enter into this equation."
"I doubt they'd know an equation if it bit them on the abacus."
Hades snickered and they kept walking. Persephone wormed her arm up and around Hades' waist as they returned to the bedchamber- found lunch waiting, arranged on two little tables set before two low couches, traditional, fancy, with all the little touches that made a meal worth cooing over. Persephone grimaced, snapped her fingers and there was only one couch, double wide. The tables shrieked in a protest of stone on stone, skidding across the floor and meeting with the crash of several dishes. She didn't let go of Hades as she sat them both down and reached for a loaf of bread.
"Maybe they think you like that kind of thing, Seph." Hades stroked up the vermillion of her arm. "Most people still think I carried you off."
"Yes," she mused, leaning into the kisses and nuzzling of his face into her neck. "We have mummy dearest to thank for that." Persephone tore off the end of the loaf with excessively violent movements before setting the rest down. Demeter and her 'Free Seph' campaign. Complete with propaganda and mudslinging. The last month before the very first 'autumn' had not been pretty.
Persephone ripped off a bite, chewing viciously, stroking her husband's arm with her free hand. She considered the situation, leaning into Hades' touch, letting it calm her and her skin bled from crimson to rose-pink. "Maybe they could carry me off Mount Olympus," she muttered sarcastically.
Hades chortled against her shoulder. Persephone sank against his broad chest and he replaced his lips with his hands.
"Demeter would raise the alarm," Hades purred.
"I could slip away from the mortals and sneak down to be with you." Not that Seph needed help to slip away for a little conjugational visit. Hades had offered to help find loopholes in the restrictions barring Seph from staying in the Underworld, and Hades going to Mt. Olympus to see her one half of every year. Persephone had declined- she didn't need his help, and didn't want him implicated in the rule-breaking. It wasn't that she didn't want him to get into trouble. Hades had elevated troublemaking into an art form, and she so appreciated fine art. She just found it more amusing when Demeter inevitably caught them out and mumsie was forced to realize Persephone had not only initiated her own jailbreak, she had been the mastermind.
That didn't stop Demeter from blaming Hades, but what could you do? Either way, Hades got his pookie and they both got to thumb their noses at not only Demeter, but the One-Million-And-One Bolt Wonder.
"But they'd probably blame you before they thought of looking for me among the mortals," Persephone sighed, munched on her bread.
"Well yeah, but it'd be so much fun to let the hot air out of their sails," Hades snickered. "I can see it now 'Whaddaya mean she's not with you?'"
Persephone chuckled.
"I could play the hero and come to your rescue," he drawled, lowering his face to her shoulder. "Really throw Zeusy for a loop. There could be some quality smiting!"
"Hmm," Persephone chewed meditatively. "Is this Pirithous attractive?"
Hades paused mid-nibble and looked like a wolf gnawing a particularly shapely pink bone. He raised his head very, very slowly.
"Why?"
Persephone shrugged. A sly look crossed her narrowed eyes, her wide smile, before she turned to face him and was all innocence, unlined brow and casual, utterly calm tilt of lips. It was a very good job. Hades still didn't buy it. He knew her too well.
"Really? Because I know you like to look," he turned her to sit sideways, facing him. "Seeeeeeph."
"I like to touch better," she said, leering and leaning forward, walking her fingers up his abdomen.
"Hmmph," he smirked, but he hadn't quite given in yet. "Yeah, you have experience in manhandling."
"I know what a pleasure it can be to handle you," she said archly, poking him in the chest.
"Just so you aren't handling anyone else."
"So part of handling you is keeping my hands to myself?" Persephone teased, lacing her fingers together behind her back. She leaned forward a little more.
Hades lounged back against a raised edge of the couch, settling his arm across it. He pouted.
"That's not as fun."
Persephone smiled. A wavy lock of hair, sun-gold, escaped the elaborate up-do she favored. It bowed outward, out of place, before loosing from the rest and tumbling down to frame her face. Another followed it. Another, and another, until the fire-crown crackled merrily on top of her hair instead of around it.
"I don't need hands to touch you, darling," she murmured. Persephone brought her legs up, kneeling on the couch and walking on her knees to straddle his hip. Hades lay back all the while, drinking her in through heavy-lidded eyes, smirking. She leaned over him, above him, tendrils of hair brushing his face. Lips, nose, sharp cheeks and the cleft of his chin. His forehead. They tickled. Persephone's stola draped temptingly, hanging low enough at the neck to reveal the skin beneath her collarbone, the swell of her breast. Persephone leaned over him, smiling and in control without the use of hands, mocking, daring him-
She caught her breath as Hades struck, surging forward and grabbing her upper arms, pulling her to him and kissing her hungrily- he hadn't had any lunch- bearing her down to the couch. Persephone reached for him then, just as eager as the hands unpinning the cloth at her shoulders, bunching up the dark violet that swished about her legs.
Persephone moaned and Hades echoed it, crawling more firmly onto the improvised mattress. His foot caught the edge of the table as he did- kicking it upside-down and toppling all the dishes that had survived the first assault.
Neither deity cared.
Part Two
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