Fading. [xxxHolic, Doumeki/Himawari, G]
Mar. 15th, 2010 02:44 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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kinkfestTitle: Fading.
Author: arizonaicerose (Saku)
Rated: G
Warnings: Maybe slight angst warning, but otherwise nothing
Word count: ~1200
Summary: Looking over his shoulder, Doumeki stares at the bright numbers on the small clock (eyes narrowing slightly has they change to midnight), before snuggling closer to the girl. He knows what day it is and suffers just like her.
Spoilers: Takes place after the Shop changes owners!
A/N: Uhm, so this came out a lil different then what I had planned, but blame my muse. She refused to let me write ANYTHING else but this. Uhm, sorry this came out more angst-y then what you may have wanted.
Also the Himawari/Watanuki pairing is implied (at least one sided)
Prompt was: -Sleepless nights- sometimes (not so often anymore) they think of him
x-x-x-
“Its like a force that pulling you
Its empty promise eyes are true
I was looking back at me
I cant even see your face”
~’Fading’ by Decyfer Down
x-x-x-
The stars outside the window are beautiful, Himawari can see them through the cracks of the thin curtains. Shimmering and shinning brightly, she is even certain that one of them is twinkling, reminding her of the song she used to sing so long ago.
“Hey Doumeki,” she whispers, afraid to move or speak too loud, “are you still awake?”
A grunt is her reply as he rolls over, a hand draping over her thin hip. Carefully he rests his chin on her shoulder as he tries to ignore the black hair that is tickling his nose. “Yeah.”
A smile tugs at her lips, barely raising the corners of her mouth, and if he did not know her he would have never caught the smile. But he does and he knows.
Looking over his shoulder, Doumeki stares at the bright numbers on the small clock (eyes narrowing slightly has they change to midnight), before snuggling closer to the girl. He knows what day it is and suffers just like her. Though every year the pain becomes less (the heartaches becoming less piercing) it still hurts. The date still mocks at them, forcing them to remember when their lives changed.
For the worse…For the best…
Neither are sure anymore. The lines blurred years ago when their trio became a duo, and even though he sees the other boy every day Doumeki is no longer sure what is right or wrong. Often he wonders if he crossed that line long ago. He feels like the Devil’s Advocate in so many ways.
“You know,” Himawari whispers as she stares out the window, eyes focusing solely on the sky.
This date is hardest on her, she truly loves Watanuki. Every year, every single year she beats herself up, feeling she should have known something was wrong. She was so close to him, yet so far away. Knew so much, yet knew so little.
Doumeki carefully moves closer until his body is pressed against hers, molding and fitting perfectly. Fingers sliding along her flat stomach as he pulls her in closer to him.
A smile tugs at the corners of her mouth, as she continues. “Nights like these when the stars are so bright, make me remember of the times we spent together.”
“Yeah I remember those nights.” Lips press against her bare shoulder and Himawari shudders lightly at the soft touch.
Before, when Watanuki had first disappeared from their trio, Himawari used to cry every night. As the months drug on, days fading into one another, she had found the strength to dry the tears, though every night (as he lies beside her, comforting her) she would run past ever memory she was able to remember; her voice tight and scared. As if she was terrified that if she ever forgot, that he would cease to exist.
“I remember picnics at night.” A small giggle escapes her lips as she reaches out to push the curtains a little further apart, so the stars are easier to see.
As the months bled on, slowly fading and jumbling together, Himawari had found herself able to let go of the nightly ritual. She had been able to let herself slip into a restless sleep, without mentioning him.
“And I remember the playground we used to meet at. Yuuko loved the slide. You know,” her voice is soft again, barely audible as she continues to stare out the window. “We should to go out there sometime again.”
From behind Doumeki sighs, deciding to not answer, instead deciding to bury his head into her silky ebony tresses. He is careful to avoid the horrid scars that mar her back, her part of the deal to save Watanuki’s life. Before she used to hide the scars (mostly to not worry him), though now she wears them proudly, like a badge of courage.
Or perhaps as a reminder that he does exist.
Slowly, in his grasp, she turns until they are face to face. And he can see how her eyes glisten with unshed tears. She tries every year to remains so brave. Even if it kills her. Even if she wants nothing more then to visit him every day (phone conversations can only do so much to heal an aching heart).
I miss him so much, her eyes scream as she lies her head against his bare chest. Shuddering breaths waft over him as he hugs her tightly, their legs tangling.
It is a statement that neither of them voice, even if their actions scream it loudly. There is no point in voicing what they both know and feel. It will not change anything. Even if they stand on the roof of the tallest building and shout it out, their shout will only fall on deaf ears.
Instead he tangles his fingers in her long hair as he hugs her closer. They will get through this horrible anniversary together; just like every other year. Fingers cup her chin before pulling her face away from his chest, pulling it up as he lowers his. Lips press together hesitantly, a soft brush of lips and nothing more. Himawari pulls away, her tongue sliding along dry lips as she stares.
Doumeki lies still, his eyes unwavering, waiting with baited breath for her next movement. He has set the pieces in motion, made the first move. Now it is for her to decide just what they do. He knows she loves Watanuki more, knows that she will always pine for him. But he also knows how to help her forget, even if it is only for a second.
Lips press against his with a renewed vigor, as she slides fingers through his hair. Teeth nip at his lips, before she forces a tongue in. Arms wrap around her thin waist as he pulls her flush, rolling onto his back while dragging her atop him.
She can never bring herself any further then kissing, because even if he has faded from her memories, he still is there. Watanuki’s still living (will be for an eternity) and just as he breaths, she still breaths the hope that Watanuki will still be able to come back into her arms again.
Arms that she wants to wrap around him. She wants her body to remain for Watanuki only (something that Doumeki knows will never change as long as he is breathing).
Sorrow fills her kisses as desperation takes over. Tears silently slide down her cheeks before landing on his, wetting both of their faces with her soul deep sorrow. Sorrow that he can do nothing to help ease. All he can do is what he does every year, as he renews the kiss, refusing to let her break away.
Pulling away Himawari lies her head against the firm chest, hair fanning out over their bodies as she glances back out the window. Her eyes glisten again and cheeks are stained with tear trails.
“The stars really are beautiful,” she whispers as she lies atop him. And though he knows he should (knows it is wrong to be lying with her in his arms while she loves him) he cannot find it in him to push her away. To walk away.
“Yeah,” he answers, hand combing through her hair while carefully picking out snarls. He can feel her body slacken, loosen as he calms her frayed nerves. Tears silently slide down her cheeks as she remains facing towards the window; Doumeki never voices about the tears that drip onto his chest, before sliding down to the sheets below.
1:00
He can only that the sun will appear soon, chase away the demons that haunt them every night. And he prays that when the sun peeks over the horizon, that it will also chase away the tears that she cries silently every year.
Author: arizonaicerose (Saku)
Rated: G
Warnings: Maybe slight angst warning, but otherwise nothing
Word count: ~1200
Summary: Looking over his shoulder, Doumeki stares at the bright numbers on the small clock (eyes narrowing slightly has they change to midnight), before snuggling closer to the girl. He knows what day it is and suffers just like her.
Spoilers: Takes place after the Shop changes owners!
A/N: Uhm, so this came out a lil different then what I had planned, but blame my muse. She refused to let me write ANYTHING else but this. Uhm, sorry this came out more angst-y then what you may have wanted.
Also the Himawari/Watanuki pairing is implied (at least one sided)
Prompt was: -Sleepless nights- sometimes (not so often anymore) they think of him
“Its like a force that pulling you
Its empty promise eyes are true
I was looking back at me
I cant even see your face”
~’Fading’ by Decyfer Down
x-x-x-
The stars outside the window are beautiful, Himawari can see them through the cracks of the thin curtains. Shimmering and shinning brightly, she is even certain that one of them is twinkling, reminding her of the song she used to sing so long ago.
“Hey Doumeki,” she whispers, afraid to move or speak too loud, “are you still awake?”
A grunt is her reply as he rolls over, a hand draping over her thin hip. Carefully he rests his chin on her shoulder as he tries to ignore the black hair that is tickling his nose. “Yeah.”
A smile tugs at her lips, barely raising the corners of her mouth, and if he did not know her he would have never caught the smile. But he does and he knows.
Looking over his shoulder, Doumeki stares at the bright numbers on the small clock (eyes narrowing slightly has they change to midnight), before snuggling closer to the girl. He knows what day it is and suffers just like her. Though every year the pain becomes less (the heartaches becoming less piercing) it still hurts. The date still mocks at them, forcing them to remember when their lives changed.
For the worse…For the best…
Neither are sure anymore. The lines blurred years ago when their trio became a duo, and even though he sees the other boy every day Doumeki is no longer sure what is right or wrong. Often he wonders if he crossed that line long ago. He feels like the Devil’s Advocate in so many ways.
“You know,” Himawari whispers as she stares out the window, eyes focusing solely on the sky.
This date is hardest on her, she truly loves Watanuki. Every year, every single year she beats herself up, feeling she should have known something was wrong. She was so close to him, yet so far away. Knew so much, yet knew so little.
Doumeki carefully moves closer until his body is pressed against hers, molding and fitting perfectly. Fingers sliding along her flat stomach as he pulls her in closer to him.
A smile tugs at the corners of her mouth, as she continues. “Nights like these when the stars are so bright, make me remember of the times we spent together.”
“Yeah I remember those nights.” Lips press against her bare shoulder and Himawari shudders lightly at the soft touch.
Before, when Watanuki had first disappeared from their trio, Himawari used to cry every night. As the months drug on, days fading into one another, she had found the strength to dry the tears, though every night (as he lies beside her, comforting her) she would run past ever memory she was able to remember; her voice tight and scared. As if she was terrified that if she ever forgot, that he would cease to exist.
“I remember picnics at night.” A small giggle escapes her lips as she reaches out to push the curtains a little further apart, so the stars are easier to see.
As the months bled on, slowly fading and jumbling together, Himawari had found herself able to let go of the nightly ritual. She had been able to let herself slip into a restless sleep, without mentioning him.
“And I remember the playground we used to meet at. Yuuko loved the slide. You know,” her voice is soft again, barely audible as she continues to stare out the window. “We should to go out there sometime again.”
From behind Doumeki sighs, deciding to not answer, instead deciding to bury his head into her silky ebony tresses. He is careful to avoid the horrid scars that mar her back, her part of the deal to save Watanuki’s life. Before she used to hide the scars (mostly to not worry him), though now she wears them proudly, like a badge of courage.
Or perhaps as a reminder that he does exist.
Slowly, in his grasp, she turns until they are face to face. And he can see how her eyes glisten with unshed tears. She tries every year to remains so brave. Even if it kills her. Even if she wants nothing more then to visit him every day (phone conversations can only do so much to heal an aching heart).
I miss him so much, her eyes scream as she lies her head against his bare chest. Shuddering breaths waft over him as he hugs her tightly, their legs tangling.
It is a statement that neither of them voice, even if their actions scream it loudly. There is no point in voicing what they both know and feel. It will not change anything. Even if they stand on the roof of the tallest building and shout it out, their shout will only fall on deaf ears.
Instead he tangles his fingers in her long hair as he hugs her closer. They will get through this horrible anniversary together; just like every other year. Fingers cup her chin before pulling her face away from his chest, pulling it up as he lowers his. Lips press together hesitantly, a soft brush of lips and nothing more. Himawari pulls away, her tongue sliding along dry lips as she stares.
Doumeki lies still, his eyes unwavering, waiting with baited breath for her next movement. He has set the pieces in motion, made the first move. Now it is for her to decide just what they do. He knows she loves Watanuki more, knows that she will always pine for him. But he also knows how to help her forget, even if it is only for a second.
Lips press against his with a renewed vigor, as she slides fingers through his hair. Teeth nip at his lips, before she forces a tongue in. Arms wrap around her thin waist as he pulls her flush, rolling onto his back while dragging her atop him.
She can never bring herself any further then kissing, because even if he has faded from her memories, he still is there. Watanuki’s still living (will be for an eternity) and just as he breaths, she still breaths the hope that Watanuki will still be able to come back into her arms again.
Arms that she wants to wrap around him. She wants her body to remain for Watanuki only (something that Doumeki knows will never change as long as he is breathing).
Sorrow fills her kisses as desperation takes over. Tears silently slide down her cheeks before landing on his, wetting both of their faces with her soul deep sorrow. Sorrow that he can do nothing to help ease. All he can do is what he does every year, as he renews the kiss, refusing to let her break away.
Pulling away Himawari lies her head against the firm chest, hair fanning out over their bodies as she glances back out the window. Her eyes glisten again and cheeks are stained with tear trails.
“The stars really are beautiful,” she whispers as she lies atop him. And though he knows he should (knows it is wrong to be lying with her in his arms while she loves him) he cannot find it in him to push her away. To walk away.
“Yeah,” he answers, hand combing through her hair while carefully picking out snarls. He can feel her body slacken, loosen as he calms her frayed nerves. Tears silently slide down her cheeks as she remains facing towards the window; Doumeki never voices about the tears that drip onto his chest, before sliding down to the sheets below.
1:00
He can only that the sun will appear soon, chase away the demons that haunt them every night. And he prays that when the sun peeks over the horizon, that it will also chase away the tears that she cries silently every year.
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Date: 2010-03-16 11:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-17 04:52 am (UTC)Oh your icon is so cute!
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Date: 2010-03-17 08:51 am (UTC)