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kinkfestTitle: Freedom Through Submission
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
delwynmarch
Rating: R/MA
Warnings/labels: Dominance/submission
Prompt: 24 - Byakuya/Yumichika: power play, giving up control - Byakuya needs someone else to take charge sometimes, or else he'll snap under the pressure of everything that everyone expects of him.
Word count: 2924
Summary: Even those who seemingly have everything can want to escape from their life sometimes.
A/N: Funny: I wanted to use the Second Person / Present Tense narrative device in another fic, but it just wouldn't work. This one, on the other hand, never even gave me a choice about using anything but this combination...
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach nor its characters, and I am making no money from writing this fic.
Freedom Through Submission
"Good evening, Byakuya."
The voice is soft and light, seemingly uncaring, as it blithely greets you in that shockingly casual way that very few people in your entire life have been allowed to use. The conflict between your long-learned reflex to correct the faux-pas and demand an apology, and your self-imposed habit to submit in this particular case, twists your insides and nearly makes your writing hand tremble - but nearly only; you have far too much self-control to allow such a despicable weakness to show.
"Good evening, Yumichika." Your voice is even, much too even, as you break the first rule of the evening. You do not need to raise your eyes from your paperwork - another breach in the protocol - to detect him stopping in his tracks for a few short moments, before resuming his leisurely approach. You have made your wishes clear, and he has shown that he understands them.
You ignore him as he comes around your desk to stand behind you. You focus on tracing each calligraphy stroke very precisely, and on controlling your breathing. Each second which passes without his taking any action is torture on your nerves, but you know there is absolutely nothing you can do. He will make his move when he decides to, and betraying your impatience is only likely to make him delay even more.
He is in control - and this is precisely what you want.
The softest sigh escapes you when he leans over your shoulder and his feathers brush against your cheek before he whispers pleasantly in your ear. "I said, 'Good evening, Byakuya.'" He is giving you another chance; hopefully this means he will punish you in some other way later on - the thought makes you shiver...
Your mouth has turned rather dry, and as a result, your voice is slightly hoarse as you answer. "Good evening, Yumichika-sama." The feathers caress your cheek one last time before disappearing as soon as you have uttered those two small but oh-so-significant syllables. You have been put in your place and your master is satisfied for the time being.
"Stand up, Byakuya." Your conflicting emotions and desires coil around each other in your belly as you obey the order. Everything you have been taught all your life is urging you to rebel, to resist, to teach this peasant his place. You are Kuchiki Byakuya, Head of the Most Noble Kuchiki House, Captain of the Sixth Division, holder of a most terrible bankai, and one of the most feared and respected men in all of Soul Society. He... He is nothing - just another Rukongai street rat with no credentials whatsoever, no ambitions, no bankai; just another Seated officer like there are so many of them. Who is he to give you orders? And who are you to obey them?
"Turn around." You stand tall and proud even as you submit. He has knelt a few feet away, and he is sitting back on his ankles with his arms crossed and his hands hidden in his sleeves. He presents an appearance of nobility, but unlike for you, it is only a facade. He will never be your equal, and you both know it. But then, you would not want him as your master if he were your equal, would you? It would not satisfy you.
"Strip." Blood rushes to your face and to your groin - but you do not miss a beat. Already your hands are obediently working on your hakama ties, even as you firmly hold his calm gaze. Precisely and efficiently, just as though you were still filling your paperwork, you remove your shihakushou piece by piece, until only your scarf remains around your neck, and your kenseikan in your hair. These will stay - shameful reminders of your station, of the station you should be upholding right now and yet have willingly renounced. You need them on you as you betray everything they represent; they are your shackles, and they need to be forcefully pried open, destroyed, shattered. Taking them off now would negate the whole point of what will happen next, and your master knows this.
Time passes as you stand naked in front of Yumichika. He betrays no emotion whatsoever as his gaze impassively inspects your body - he does not even smirk as he takes in your growing arousal. This is why you chose him: because he can control you, but even more importantly, he can control himself. If you just wanted to be humiliated by some peon taking crude pleasure in forcefully dominating the great Kuchiki Byakuya, then you would only have to turn to one of the many whore houses of Seireitei or Rukongai. But humiliation alone cannot bring you the relief you seek; what you need is to let go - to be made to let go, because you cannot do it on your own. Kuchiki Byakuya never relaxes; you never relinquish control, whether over others under your authority, or over yourself. You cannot; you must not. This is why you need someone who will make you do just that.
"Kneel on the floor, legs open wide." You shiver once more; on another day, your master would pull the short rod out of the hidden compartment behind the bookcase, and attach it between your knees to secure the position. Not using it tonight is a cruel punishment: you will be expected to keep your legs wide open no matter what might happen, out of pure willpower. You can do this, of course you can, it is child's game for you, but it will force you to maintain some level of self-control, which is the opposite of what you so desperately crave. This is very much an appropriate punishment for your failure to properly greet your master when he arrived.
"Masturbate." Yumichika's voice sounds utterly technical, almost bored, as he commands you to defile yourself; the contrast between the impersonal tone and the very personal request is so familiar to you - the noble boy raised by distant servants - that it reaches deep into your psyche and creates instant havoc there. You fight every self-preserving instinct within yourself as you reach for your member; you should not be doing this, you have been trained otherwise! The situation is beyond scandalous, that you would lower yourself to exposing and fondling your most intimate parts in such a thoroughly disgusting and indecent show, in front of an unworthy commoner, and yet a small bubble of relief softly pops in your chest as you lay the first finger on your manhood. Your need to submit may be hidden under innumerable layers of proper education, but it is very real indeed...
You pull on your habitual self-control to stop yourself from emitting any shameful sound, or twisting your body in any vulgar manner, as you work on yourself and stir the burning desire in your blood. Your gaze is still locked with Yumichika's; he is still staring at you as though you were nothing more than mildly interesting, and you refuse to give him any more than what he specifically asked from you. You want him to wrestle your submission out of you tonight, as it is your right to request.
Eventually, as your breath turns to quiet pants, your master frowns. Your stubborn refusal to express your pleasure offends him, as you knew it would, and he will have to punish you once more, as you hoped he would... You watch as calmly as possible under the circumstances, your hands never ceasing their torturous work, not even slowing down, while he carefully stands up and walks over to you. You have to twist your neck backwards into a painful position to maintain the eye contact, but this is fine with you. The two of you remain in that position for a few moments, as he looks down at you, at your hands moving ever faster on your member, at the heat rising in your cheeks, at the sweat which you can now feel on your eyebrow, and at your chest that moves faster and stronger as your panting increases. You are quickly reaching climax--
"Hands off." You cannot help but wince, and every cell in your body curses you as you instantly let yourself go; your state of arousal is awfully painful, and the need to resume your previous activities and to drive them to their conclusion is nearly overwhelming. But this is precisely why your master ordered you to stop, and this in turn is why you are so eager to obey. You are slowly but surely falling apart with desire and confusion under his eyes, and you gratefully feel another restraint within yourself snap at this realisation.
Your master inclines his head to the side in a pensive manner. "What do you want, Byakuya?" A fist of ice wraps around your stomach at the seemingly innocuous question, and a powerful wave of excitement runs along your nerves. Your punishment is terrible indeed...
This time, you have to swallow before you can talk, and even then, each word seems to scrape your throat raw. "I want to..." The next word tastes like sick on your tongue. "To pleasure you, Yumichika-sama."
"Oh?" He seems surprised. "How so?"
This is almost too much. You want to look away; you want to run away. Instead, you set your jaw and scowl as you stare into the purple eyes and pronounce the reviled words that no noble of your stature should even know, let alone tell to someone like him. "I want to suck you off." This was the hardest part and you could almost cry out in relief once the abhorrent words pass your lips. Now that this hurdle is cleared, the rest comes much more easily - almost too easily. You feel the heat on your face intensify as you defile your mouth again and again, and stare up into the face of that lowly commoner and act the whore to him. "I want you to fuck my face and come all over me. I want to take your clothes off, and worship your entire body. And then..." Fever burns in your stomach now, and you take a perverse pleasure in uttering all that dirty talk, in shaming yourself, in shocking and disgusting the proper side of you that is demanding that you put an end to this obscenity right now. "I want to get on all fours and let you... let you take me up the ass while I beg for more." Your voice has definitely taken on a breathless quality as you said those horrible, foul things, and you can hardly breathe, so excited are you, as you conclude. "Fuck me, Yumichika-sama. Fuck me hard, please!" There you have done it finally, disgracing yourself to the lowest degree, reducing yourself to a street prostitute - and the relief that floods you as you fully realise what you have been made to do is like a cool shower on a hot summer day.
You watch in silence and in eager anticipation as Yumichika slowly removes his hakama and fundoshi, and opens his shitagi and kosode to reveal his barely hard member. This here is the ultimate proof of how completely you can trust him, and you gratefully open your mouth when he takes your head in his hands. The short order to keep your own hands on your thighs frees you from reaching up and doing anything to him; you are left almost entirely powerless as he slips his manhood into your mouth. You immediately set out to fulfill your proclaimed desire; you suck, and you lick, and you tease, until it grows so long and wide and hard that it is all you can do to focus on breathing in-between two thrusts and on not gagging when it reaches into the back of your throat. The strong hands that have slipped into your hair are holding your head firmly in place, forcing you to helplessly take the assault on your face without a chance to accommodate it to your convenience. This is perfect.
A new feeling grows in your belly - the very feeling you have so desperately been hoping for. It is like your very soul is being pulled apart, as the qualities that compose the persona of Kuchiki Byakuya are being obliterated. You have no more pride: you are on your knees, pleasuring a Rukongai street rat with your mouth. You have no more control: your hands are tied by your master's will to your legs, which in turn are kept wide open by his will as well, exposing your most private parts even while depriving them from any stimulation, any means of relieving them from the desperate arousal straining at them. You cannot even talk any more - not when another man's member is mercilessly plundering your mouth. You have been reduced to nothing more than a sex slave, who exists only to do his master's will - and yet, your scarf is still around your neck, and the kenseikan press harshly into your scalp under the pressure of Yumichika's hold...
The tension in your body increases as you struggle to keep acting as Kuchiki Byakuya even as Kuchiki Byakuya becomes more and more of a stranger to you. You pull on his self-control to maintain your kneeling position as steadily as possible, even while welcoming the raw pleasure of abandon that he would never accept. You can hear your master panting in sync with you now, and this fills you with a joy that Kuchiki Byakuya could not even understand - the joy of knowing that you, your body, your being, are being put to good use for somebody else's benefit. Your own arousal is almost too much to bear, but you refuse to even contemplate the idea of touching yourself: you are your master's object and nothing more. If he wishes-- You moan, loudly, when one of his feet comes forward and pushes against your erection, and he instructs you between two breaths.
"Grind."
And so you do, gratefully, shamelessly. You time the movement of your hips against his foot along that of his body against your face. Your fingers are digging into your thighs, and you moan and whine and whimper around your master's length in your mouth, as lewdly and wantonly as any whore would. You take as much pleasure from the physical rubbing of your manhood against your master's foot, as from the psychological surrendering to his every whim. You trust him with every fiber of your being; you belong to him in this moment, and you want nothing more than to belong to him forever.
You cry out when your completion finally rushes through you. You shudder; you feel weak and dizzy and exhausted, but you refuse to crumble just yet. You do not matter any more; only he matters. Your pleasure is irrelevant now; you must keep working on helping him reach his. Your being falls into a spin as your body pleads for a moment of rest while your mind stubbornly keeps on focusing on your master and him only. The last shreds of Kuchiki Byakuya's self-control hold you together as you plod forward on a path you know he would despise.
Finally, your master spills into your mouth, and his release brings your liberation. Tears burn at the corner of your eyes as you swallow his seed. The first gulp severs your last inner restraints; the following ones shatter your self-image into ever smaller pieces. You feel your very personality disintegrate as Kuchiki Byakuya's education, his standing, his duties, his responsibilities vanish from before your mind's eye. You cannot remember who you are; you do not know what you are supposed to do any more. The only thing that remains is your helplessness in the hands of the master you trust more than words could ever say. You do not know where you are, but this does not matter when he drapes your shaking body in a blanket and pulls you into a tight embrace. He gently runs a hand in your hair, and time stands still.
*
You wake up softly, feeling as light as a flower petal floating on the wind. You are lying on your office floor, all rolled up in your blanket, with your head in Yumichika's lap. You look up at him and he smiles - a gentle smile that speaks of acceptance and non-judgemental understanding. He is clearly exhausted, but once again he has refused to leave you alone; he will never know how grateful you are... You slowly sit up, and he tiredly sets out to put his clothes back on. You wait silently until he is all done; then, as he slips his zanpakutou back into his belt, you speak up softly.
"Thank you."
He bows slightly and smiles once more. "Any time, Kuchiki-taichou." Then, with one last searching look to make sure you are all right, he is gone, turning off the lights and locking the door behind him, and you lie back on the floor to enjoy your quiet, private internal heaven. It will not last; you will have to shake it off in the morning, in order to function properly, but the relaxing after-effects will be with you for a few days at least, possibly a few weeks. And then when the pressure becomes too heavy again, you will send another fake but legitimate-looking complaint about some misfiled requisition order to Ayasegawa-goseki - adorned in a corner with a small sakura blossom.
** The End **
Author:
delwynmarch Rating: R/MA
Warnings/labels: Dominance/submission
Prompt: 24 - Byakuya/Yumichika: power play, giving up control - Byakuya needs someone else to take charge sometimes, or else he'll snap under the pressure of everything that everyone expects of him.
Word count: 2924
Summary: Even those who seemingly have everything can want to escape from their life sometimes.
A/N: Funny: I wanted to use the Second Person / Present Tense narrative device in another fic, but it just wouldn't work. This one, on the other hand, never even gave me a choice about using anything but this combination...
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach nor its characters, and I am making no money from writing this fic.
Freedom Through Submission
"Good evening, Byakuya."
The voice is soft and light, seemingly uncaring, as it blithely greets you in that shockingly casual way that very few people in your entire life have been allowed to use. The conflict between your long-learned reflex to correct the faux-pas and demand an apology, and your self-imposed habit to submit in this particular case, twists your insides and nearly makes your writing hand tremble - but nearly only; you have far too much self-control to allow such a despicable weakness to show.
"Good evening, Yumichika." Your voice is even, much too even, as you break the first rule of the evening. You do not need to raise your eyes from your paperwork - another breach in the protocol - to detect him stopping in his tracks for a few short moments, before resuming his leisurely approach. You have made your wishes clear, and he has shown that he understands them.
You ignore him as he comes around your desk to stand behind you. You focus on tracing each calligraphy stroke very precisely, and on controlling your breathing. Each second which passes without his taking any action is torture on your nerves, but you know there is absolutely nothing you can do. He will make his move when he decides to, and betraying your impatience is only likely to make him delay even more.
He is in control - and this is precisely what you want.
The softest sigh escapes you when he leans over your shoulder and his feathers brush against your cheek before he whispers pleasantly in your ear. "I said, 'Good evening, Byakuya.'" He is giving you another chance; hopefully this means he will punish you in some other way later on - the thought makes you shiver...
Your mouth has turned rather dry, and as a result, your voice is slightly hoarse as you answer. "Good evening, Yumichika-sama." The feathers caress your cheek one last time before disappearing as soon as you have uttered those two small but oh-so-significant syllables. You have been put in your place and your master is satisfied for the time being.
"Stand up, Byakuya." Your conflicting emotions and desires coil around each other in your belly as you obey the order. Everything you have been taught all your life is urging you to rebel, to resist, to teach this peasant his place. You are Kuchiki Byakuya, Head of the Most Noble Kuchiki House, Captain of the Sixth Division, holder of a most terrible bankai, and one of the most feared and respected men in all of Soul Society. He... He is nothing - just another Rukongai street rat with no credentials whatsoever, no ambitions, no bankai; just another Seated officer like there are so many of them. Who is he to give you orders? And who are you to obey them?
"Turn around." You stand tall and proud even as you submit. He has knelt a few feet away, and he is sitting back on his ankles with his arms crossed and his hands hidden in his sleeves. He presents an appearance of nobility, but unlike for you, it is only a facade. He will never be your equal, and you both know it. But then, you would not want him as your master if he were your equal, would you? It would not satisfy you.
"Strip." Blood rushes to your face and to your groin - but you do not miss a beat. Already your hands are obediently working on your hakama ties, even as you firmly hold his calm gaze. Precisely and efficiently, just as though you were still filling your paperwork, you remove your shihakushou piece by piece, until only your scarf remains around your neck, and your kenseikan in your hair. These will stay - shameful reminders of your station, of the station you should be upholding right now and yet have willingly renounced. You need them on you as you betray everything they represent; they are your shackles, and they need to be forcefully pried open, destroyed, shattered. Taking them off now would negate the whole point of what will happen next, and your master knows this.
Time passes as you stand naked in front of Yumichika. He betrays no emotion whatsoever as his gaze impassively inspects your body - he does not even smirk as he takes in your growing arousal. This is why you chose him: because he can control you, but even more importantly, he can control himself. If you just wanted to be humiliated by some peon taking crude pleasure in forcefully dominating the great Kuchiki Byakuya, then you would only have to turn to one of the many whore houses of Seireitei or Rukongai. But humiliation alone cannot bring you the relief you seek; what you need is to let go - to be made to let go, because you cannot do it on your own. Kuchiki Byakuya never relaxes; you never relinquish control, whether over others under your authority, or over yourself. You cannot; you must not. This is why you need someone who will make you do just that.
"Kneel on the floor, legs open wide." You shiver once more; on another day, your master would pull the short rod out of the hidden compartment behind the bookcase, and attach it between your knees to secure the position. Not using it tonight is a cruel punishment: you will be expected to keep your legs wide open no matter what might happen, out of pure willpower. You can do this, of course you can, it is child's game for you, but it will force you to maintain some level of self-control, which is the opposite of what you so desperately crave. This is very much an appropriate punishment for your failure to properly greet your master when he arrived.
"Masturbate." Yumichika's voice sounds utterly technical, almost bored, as he commands you to defile yourself; the contrast between the impersonal tone and the very personal request is so familiar to you - the noble boy raised by distant servants - that it reaches deep into your psyche and creates instant havoc there. You fight every self-preserving instinct within yourself as you reach for your member; you should not be doing this, you have been trained otherwise! The situation is beyond scandalous, that you would lower yourself to exposing and fondling your most intimate parts in such a thoroughly disgusting and indecent show, in front of an unworthy commoner, and yet a small bubble of relief softly pops in your chest as you lay the first finger on your manhood. Your need to submit may be hidden under innumerable layers of proper education, but it is very real indeed...
You pull on your habitual self-control to stop yourself from emitting any shameful sound, or twisting your body in any vulgar manner, as you work on yourself and stir the burning desire in your blood. Your gaze is still locked with Yumichika's; he is still staring at you as though you were nothing more than mildly interesting, and you refuse to give him any more than what he specifically asked from you. You want him to wrestle your submission out of you tonight, as it is your right to request.
Eventually, as your breath turns to quiet pants, your master frowns. Your stubborn refusal to express your pleasure offends him, as you knew it would, and he will have to punish you once more, as you hoped he would... You watch as calmly as possible under the circumstances, your hands never ceasing their torturous work, not even slowing down, while he carefully stands up and walks over to you. You have to twist your neck backwards into a painful position to maintain the eye contact, but this is fine with you. The two of you remain in that position for a few moments, as he looks down at you, at your hands moving ever faster on your member, at the heat rising in your cheeks, at the sweat which you can now feel on your eyebrow, and at your chest that moves faster and stronger as your panting increases. You are quickly reaching climax--
"Hands off." You cannot help but wince, and every cell in your body curses you as you instantly let yourself go; your state of arousal is awfully painful, and the need to resume your previous activities and to drive them to their conclusion is nearly overwhelming. But this is precisely why your master ordered you to stop, and this in turn is why you are so eager to obey. You are slowly but surely falling apart with desire and confusion under his eyes, and you gratefully feel another restraint within yourself snap at this realisation.
Your master inclines his head to the side in a pensive manner. "What do you want, Byakuya?" A fist of ice wraps around your stomach at the seemingly innocuous question, and a powerful wave of excitement runs along your nerves. Your punishment is terrible indeed...
This time, you have to swallow before you can talk, and even then, each word seems to scrape your throat raw. "I want to..." The next word tastes like sick on your tongue. "To pleasure you, Yumichika-sama."
"Oh?" He seems surprised. "How so?"
This is almost too much. You want to look away; you want to run away. Instead, you set your jaw and scowl as you stare into the purple eyes and pronounce the reviled words that no noble of your stature should even know, let alone tell to someone like him. "I want to suck you off." This was the hardest part and you could almost cry out in relief once the abhorrent words pass your lips. Now that this hurdle is cleared, the rest comes much more easily - almost too easily. You feel the heat on your face intensify as you defile your mouth again and again, and stare up into the face of that lowly commoner and act the whore to him. "I want you to fuck my face and come all over me. I want to take your clothes off, and worship your entire body. And then..." Fever burns in your stomach now, and you take a perverse pleasure in uttering all that dirty talk, in shaming yourself, in shocking and disgusting the proper side of you that is demanding that you put an end to this obscenity right now. "I want to get on all fours and let you... let you take me up the ass while I beg for more." Your voice has definitely taken on a breathless quality as you said those horrible, foul things, and you can hardly breathe, so excited are you, as you conclude. "Fuck me, Yumichika-sama. Fuck me hard, please!" There you have done it finally, disgracing yourself to the lowest degree, reducing yourself to a street prostitute - and the relief that floods you as you fully realise what you have been made to do is like a cool shower on a hot summer day.
You watch in silence and in eager anticipation as Yumichika slowly removes his hakama and fundoshi, and opens his shitagi and kosode to reveal his barely hard member. This here is the ultimate proof of how completely you can trust him, and you gratefully open your mouth when he takes your head in his hands. The short order to keep your own hands on your thighs frees you from reaching up and doing anything to him; you are left almost entirely powerless as he slips his manhood into your mouth. You immediately set out to fulfill your proclaimed desire; you suck, and you lick, and you tease, until it grows so long and wide and hard that it is all you can do to focus on breathing in-between two thrusts and on not gagging when it reaches into the back of your throat. The strong hands that have slipped into your hair are holding your head firmly in place, forcing you to helplessly take the assault on your face without a chance to accommodate it to your convenience. This is perfect.
A new feeling grows in your belly - the very feeling you have so desperately been hoping for. It is like your very soul is being pulled apart, as the qualities that compose the persona of Kuchiki Byakuya are being obliterated. You have no more pride: you are on your knees, pleasuring a Rukongai street rat with your mouth. You have no more control: your hands are tied by your master's will to your legs, which in turn are kept wide open by his will as well, exposing your most private parts even while depriving them from any stimulation, any means of relieving them from the desperate arousal straining at them. You cannot even talk any more - not when another man's member is mercilessly plundering your mouth. You have been reduced to nothing more than a sex slave, who exists only to do his master's will - and yet, your scarf is still around your neck, and the kenseikan press harshly into your scalp under the pressure of Yumichika's hold...
The tension in your body increases as you struggle to keep acting as Kuchiki Byakuya even as Kuchiki Byakuya becomes more and more of a stranger to you. You pull on his self-control to maintain your kneeling position as steadily as possible, even while welcoming the raw pleasure of abandon that he would never accept. You can hear your master panting in sync with you now, and this fills you with a joy that Kuchiki Byakuya could not even understand - the joy of knowing that you, your body, your being, are being put to good use for somebody else's benefit. Your own arousal is almost too much to bear, but you refuse to even contemplate the idea of touching yourself: you are your master's object and nothing more. If he wishes-- You moan, loudly, when one of his feet comes forward and pushes against your erection, and he instructs you between two breaths.
"Grind."
And so you do, gratefully, shamelessly. You time the movement of your hips against his foot along that of his body against your face. Your fingers are digging into your thighs, and you moan and whine and whimper around your master's length in your mouth, as lewdly and wantonly as any whore would. You take as much pleasure from the physical rubbing of your manhood against your master's foot, as from the psychological surrendering to his every whim. You trust him with every fiber of your being; you belong to him in this moment, and you want nothing more than to belong to him forever.
You cry out when your completion finally rushes through you. You shudder; you feel weak and dizzy and exhausted, but you refuse to crumble just yet. You do not matter any more; only he matters. Your pleasure is irrelevant now; you must keep working on helping him reach his. Your being falls into a spin as your body pleads for a moment of rest while your mind stubbornly keeps on focusing on your master and him only. The last shreds of Kuchiki Byakuya's self-control hold you together as you plod forward on a path you know he would despise.
Finally, your master spills into your mouth, and his release brings your liberation. Tears burn at the corner of your eyes as you swallow his seed. The first gulp severs your last inner restraints; the following ones shatter your self-image into ever smaller pieces. You feel your very personality disintegrate as Kuchiki Byakuya's education, his standing, his duties, his responsibilities vanish from before your mind's eye. You cannot remember who you are; you do not know what you are supposed to do any more. The only thing that remains is your helplessness in the hands of the master you trust more than words could ever say. You do not know where you are, but this does not matter when he drapes your shaking body in a blanket and pulls you into a tight embrace. He gently runs a hand in your hair, and time stands still.
*
You wake up softly, feeling as light as a flower petal floating on the wind. You are lying on your office floor, all rolled up in your blanket, with your head in Yumichika's lap. You look up at him and he smiles - a gentle smile that speaks of acceptance and non-judgemental understanding. He is clearly exhausted, but once again he has refused to leave you alone; he will never know how grateful you are... You slowly sit up, and he tiredly sets out to put his clothes back on. You wait silently until he is all done; then, as he slips his zanpakutou back into his belt, you speak up softly.
"Thank you."
He bows slightly and smiles once more. "Any time, Kuchiki-taichou." Then, with one last searching look to make sure you are all right, he is gone, turning off the lights and locking the door behind him, and you lie back on the floor to enjoy your quiet, private internal heaven. It will not last; you will have to shake it off in the morning, in order to function properly, but the relaxing after-effects will be with you for a few days at least, possibly a few weeks. And then when the pressure becomes too heavy again, you will send another fake but legitimate-looking complaint about some misfiled requisition order to Ayasegawa-goseki - adorned in a corner with a small sakura blossom.
** The End **
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-03-25 06:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-25 06:37 pm (UTC)Still, thank you very much for reading and commenting, and I'm glad you liked some of it anyway :)
no subject
Date: 2010-03-25 06:44 pm (UTC)This fic works better with Yumichika than it would with any other character, IMO.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-25 06:41 pm (UTC)You've always written Yumichika so wonderfully, and your Byakuya is just as great. *glomps*
no subject
Date: 2010-03-25 06:56 pm (UTC)Also, the concept of Byakuya wanting to lose control but being literally unable to do so on his own, was just too fascinating to pass :)
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Date: 2010-03-25 06:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-25 06:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-25 10:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-25 11:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-25 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-25 09:46 pm (UTC)I love prompts that challenge me to explore new emotions and new manners of expressing them, and this one certainly did, on both aspects. I enjoyed writing it, and I'm happy to know that other people enjoyed reading it as well. So thank you for reading and for taking the time to comment :) !
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Date: 2010-03-26 05:30 am (UTC)It was interesting to see Byakuya's image of Yumichika and his self-awareness of his station, so unapologetic and strict but something I could easily believe he could be thinking.
This worked well with Yumichika, I think, because he has both the self-control, imagination and obviously in this case the 'station in life' to make this convincing. I would have hard time believing something like this with Kenpachi, since he's not very controled or wouln't put so much attention to details. Not one for complicated mind games, that one, I think.
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Date: 2010-03-26 07:56 am (UTC)Precisely ;) I would say that this is very extreme for him :P But still, I get what you mean. I didn't want anything extreme beyond Byakuya's internal workings, because there was no reason for it - D/s scenes don't have to be extreme to be efficient. Plus, it would have detracted from the psychological side of it, which was the true focus of the fic for me.
You also didn't use it to make up something sappy or abusive
I can't see those two doing sappy (unless they were in love, of course, but that's not the case here). And making it abusive would have been betraying the very BDSM concept behind the fic!
left it as simply as what it was - means to an end. I really liked the end that showed the aftermath.
Yup, that's precisely why I included the aftermath: because that's the driving force behind the fic. The whole scene is just, as you said, a means to an end, and without the aftermath, there would have been only the means and no end.
... Byakuya's image of Yumichika and his self-awareness of his station...
That's admittedly my canonical reading of Byakuya: someone who is proud of his place, but also prisoner of it and aware of this. It's not just others that he reminds of his position in life, but also himself, even when it goes against his desires.
This worked well with Yumichika, I think, because he has both the self-control, imagination and obviously in this case the 'station in life' to make this convincing. I would have hard time believing something like this with Kenpachi, since he's not very controled or wouln't put so much attention to details. Not one for complicated mind games, that one, I think.
Exactly. It takes a special kind of personality to be the type of Dom that Yumichika is in this fic, and Kenpachi just doesn't have it. I do see Kenpachi as being extremely intuitive in his own way, but he has little patience for psychological self-torturing or subtleties of words and motions. He could still be a great Dom to Byakuya - a raw, passionate, challenging kind of Dom - but Byakuya would have to be a different kind of sub as well, and the fic would be completely different.
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Date: 2010-03-28 10:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-29 06:17 pm (UTC)Making a good case of why it would be Yumichika was an integral part of the challenge of the prompt for me, so I'm glad I managed that in your eyes :)
I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment :D
Beautifully done
Date: 2010-04-03 09:17 am (UTC)Re: Beautifully done
Date: 2010-04-03 01:10 pm (UTC)I did try to present what I understand a D/s relationship to be about (I'm not in the scene IRL, but the dynamics of it fascinate me), along with what could specifically pull Byakuya into such an apparently contradictory power play (contradictory to his personality as presented in canon, I mean). It was an interesting mental exercise :D
I agree that Yumichika, with his extreme canonical devotion to keeping secrets in order to preserve one's chosen lifestyle (his own shikai, but also Ikkaku's bankai), would be an ideal partner in such a secret. If anyone could understand what it's like to have needs and desires directly opposite to one's nature/nurture, it would be him.
ByakuyaYumichika is my friend's crack!pairing for those two, so I was already used to picturing them together ;)
Thank you for reading, and for taking the time to comment! Thank you also for the friending, though I don't really have much more Byakuya fic. Yumichika, Shuuhei and Ikkaku are my characters of choice, with ShuuheiYumichika as the main pairing.
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Date: 2011-06-02 09:43 am (UTC)I'm adding to Mem :)
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Date: 2011-06-02 02:07 pm (UTC)I focused on the emotions because the emotions are always what matter to me in any kind of sex scene. I don't care so much about what people do, as about why they do it and how it makes them feel, you know? And I'm always happy when readers enjoy that focus, so thank you :)
And thank you very much for the Memming :D And the commenting too, of course ;)