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Title: Everything I Own
Author/Artist: hina88/
atanih88
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Yaoi, m/m, explicit sexual situations, anal
Word count: 4,081
Summary: To keep this, he’d give anything.
A/N: And late again, apologies! Hope you guys still enjoy it. Quick check of fic but again, not beta’d so apologies for any mistakes you may find. This was written for the prompt: 5 – Wild Adapter, Kubota/Tokito: light bondage – “I’d give you everything I own.”
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in this story. Wild Adapter and all its characters are property of Kazuya Minekura and I make no money from these writings.
In the time they’d been together, Kubota had grown used to it. He did with it what he did with everything else they couldn’t change. He bore with it. He waited it out. Then he stepped over it and moved on.
Except the problem with this was that he couldn’t just get over it, because it didn’t involve just Kubota alone.
He watched from the open doorway and let the smoke slip out from between his lips as he took in the curled up body on the single bed. The blinds to the windows were still drawn down low, not allowing any light to slip into the room. Kubota could see though, the fine trembling that was rippling through Tokito’s body, he could see the hand that was cradled to his chest and he could hear the harsh breaths that burst from Tokito as if each one was being beaten out of him. It was going to be another one of those nights. When Tokito’s hand acted up, it was the only time that Tokito felt a need to put something between them.
Just a wall. Something to separate them so that Kubota wouldn’t see.
So Kubota remained crouched where he was, coffee mug held by two fingers, the ceramic already cold against his fingers. He was on his third cigarette and the ash tray was littered with ash where it sat on the floor. He waited.
The apartment was quiet but he could hear the low sound of the television behind him. The play station remote still remained where Tokito had dropped it, one of the handles smashed into pieces on the floor. Afterwards Tokito had stayed crouched down, clutching his wrist and breathing it out before he managed to push himself to his feet and staggered over to their bed. Times like these remained the only moments where Kubota didn’t touch Tokito.
Tokito had asked him not to.
So Kubota waited some more.
He waited until the shuddering stopped and Tokito’s breathing eased into smoother patterns. And he stayed there even after those breaths took on the lower sound of sleep.
Kubota didn’t notice when he himself fell asleep, his back pressed to the door’s frame and his head resting back against it.
The cigarette burned out while still clutched in his fingers.
~
When Kubota woke up, he realised he couldn’t feel his thigh.
He blinked, not seeing anything for a few seconds until he reached up and adjusted his glasses and everything came into view once again. He looked down into his lap to see Tokito’s head using his leg as a pillow.
Sometime between the time he’d fallen asleep, Tokito had dragged the covers off of the bed and curled up on the floor beside him. He was wrapped tight in the covers but after listening to just his breathing for a few moments, Kubota realised that Tokito wasn’t asleep.
Kubota leaned his head back against the door frame and began running his fingers through Tokito’s hair.
His lips were itching for the feel of a cigarette between them but that could wait. The TV was still on in the background since no one had turned it off.
“Do you want something to eat?” Kubota asked, staring at the wall opposite, enjoying the feel of Tokito’s hair against his hand, the warmth of his scalp against his palm.
“No.” Tokito said. But he didn’t open his eyes.
“Okay.” His hand left Tokito’s hair and moved down, hand curling around Tokito’s neck and his thumb beginning a brush, back and forth across Tokito’s skin. “Then should we go to bed?”
Tokito turned his face into Kubota’s thigh, his eyes still closed. “Okay.”
~
This time when he woke up, he’d been asleep for longer.
It was warm under the covers.
Kubota opened his eyes, squinting but even then it was tough to make out the clean lines of Tokito’s face beside him. But he could tell that Tokito was lying on his back and his eyes were open. His right hand was in front of his face and Kubota could somehow manage to make out the slow turns of it, as if Tokito were examining it. Even without his glasses on, Kubota could still see the long length of the nails on that hand.
Then as if becoming aware that Kubota was awake, Tokito turned to look at him and lowered his hand to his chest and curled it into a fist.
“Kubo-chan...”
“Hmm?”
Then the hand that Tokito had curled on his chest lifted and came close enough to Kubota’s face that he could see it clearly. He saw the long sharp nails that could easily cut his skin with the slightest pressure, saw the roughness of that palm, the coarse hair so reminiscent of an animal’s.
Kubota remained still on the bed, buried in the warmth of the blankets and the pillow and Tokito. He merely watched the hand with the same squint and waited for Tokito to show him whatever it was that he needed from him in this moment.
For Tokito he could wait for a long time.
Kubota felt those nails scrape lightly at his cheek and he scooted closer to Tokito—Tokito’s hand stilled—wanting to be able to see the expression on his face. And he managed, everything became a little clearer and as soon as Kubota stopped moving, Tokito’s hand started the little scraping touches again. Closer this way, Kubota realised that Tokito’s hand had the finest of trembles. His eyebrows were dipping low, his mouth parted a little but still tense.
“Tokito,” he said, and slipped his arm out from beneath the covers, not really liking how the air felt so much colder outside of them. But he forgot about that as his hand curled around Tokito’s wrist.
Tokito became stiff beside him and his eyes widened a little. His breathing started coming out a little faster, quick short breaths that made his shoulders jerk under the covers.
Against the palm of his hand Kubota could feel the place where skin stopped and the fur began and slow, not wanting to startle Tokito, he slid his hand lower until his fingers were folding around Tokito’s in a gentle grip, his own fingers brushing against his cheek as Tokito hadn’t moved his hand away from Kubota’s face.
Tokito’s breathing was the one loud thing in the room, drowning out the sound of the clock and of that TV which was still there in the background.
But then when Kubota began to turn his face into the touch, it seemed to be too much for Tokito.
That hand shoved him away. In his panic Tokito forgot the strength that was probably what had scared him into those light touches to begin with, and Kubota felt a nail slice open the skin over his left cheek. The hiss left him before he could help it and his hand tightened around Tokito’s even as Tokito sat up and tried to tug it away.
“Let go—I—I don’t like it—my glove—“
Kubota didn’t let go, keeping his eyes on Tokito’s face even though it had become a blur again.
“Tokito,” Kubota said, still holding onto his hand as Tokito turned his face away and tugged again. He could’ve easily pulled his hand from Kubota’s but he didn’t probably because that would take a little more force. This really was where the problem was.
Kubota could still feel the tremble of that powerful hand that hadn’t gone away and this time he managed to press it to his face, spreading Tokito’s palm right over the fresh cut on his face. Kubota could feel the sting as it pressed to the warmth of the abnormal hand. He allowed himself a small, barely noticeable smile, the corner of his mouth brushing against the mound of Tokito’s palm.
Pushing the covers away with his other arm, Kubota reached out to him. But instead of pulling him to him, Kubota hooked his fingers onto the back of Tokito’s t-shirt and jerked him back with enough force to lay him out flat on his back. Before Tokito could do any more than turn to him with widened eyes, Kubota slid on top of him. Sliding one leg between Tokito’s and making room for himself there, he braced one hand next to Tokito’s face to keep his weight off of him whilst keeping a hold on Tokito’s hand with his other.
Tokito stared up at him. His gaze flicked from Kubota’s face to where Kubota held their hands together.
Then Kubota scooted a little lower, enjoying the feeling as his own t-shirt hitched up with the motion and left Kubota’s stomach pressing warm against Tokito’s. His t-shirt had ridden up too. Kubota lowered his mouth to the warmth of Tokito’s neck and spoke into the hollow he found a little lower down.
“Even if you hurt me, it would be okay.” He murmured.
With Tokito it would be. Kubota wouldn’t mind giving him everything he owned. Because Tokito was Tokito.
Tokito went still beneath him.
“It would be okay.” Kubota repeated. “Here—“ he finally let go of Tokito’s hand and drew himself up until he was kneeling over Tokito, once again unable to see the expression on Tokito’s face. “Wait here...” Kubota said and brushed a hand over Tokito’s thigh before he got off the bed and padded out of the room on bare feet, knowing Tokito would stay there out of curiosity for the request alone.
It didn’t take Kubota long to find what he needed. He made do with the belt that had still been on the jeans he’d tossed into the laundry the day before. He tugged it out and then headed back to their room, making a mental note to turn up the heater later on; the apartment really did feel cold.
When he stepped back inside the room, Tokito was propped up on his elbows and he sat up a little straighter when Kubota came to the side of the bed and sat down.
“Okay, let’s try this hmmm?” Kubota reached for Tokito’s hand, his calloused fingers tracing the knuckles and the smooth skin of them before tugging on his hand. He leaned forward over him until Tokito sank back into the bed, eyes still on Kubota. But he allowed Kubota to lead his hand back to the bed railings behind his head, let Kubota carry on even after Kubota had curled Tokito’s fingers around one of the bars and then began wrapping the belt around his wrist.
Kubota wrapped it around Tokito’s wrist and looped it around the bar before finally moving back and looking back down at Tokito.
For a few seconds Tokito was silent and didn’t move, just looking up at Kubota as he stayed sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning over him enough to see his face. But then, Tokito reached out with his free hand, starting and stopping several times before it finally reached Kubota. Kubota let his eyes close as he felt the touch of those sharp claws as Tokito stroked his fingers into Kubota’s hair, the movements slow and careful.
Kubota didn’t move, not wanting to do anything to ruin the tentative exploration that Tokito had held back on for so long—at least, they had never tried it this way. Like this.
When the softest of pressures urged him to lower his head, Kubota followed. He placed his hands either side of Tokito’s head and almost smiled when Tokito’s mouth brushed against his, dry but soft. Tokito’s hand slid from Kubota’s hair to the back of his neck, hand curling around it and pressing Kubota’s mouth harder against his until Kubota opened his mouth and sucked Tokito’s bottom lip in, dragging his tongue across it in a slow sweep.
Tokito parted his lips and turned his head just a little, enough to slip inside Kubota’s mouth and kiss him back.
Kubota pulled himself onto the bed properly, fitting himself over Tokito over the covers and sliding a hand beneath them, pushing them lower so that he could get his arm around Tokito’s waist and tugged him closer to him.
He nipped at Tokito’s mouth and then pulled his mouth away to start doing the same thing to the line of Tokito’s jaw, his chin, lower until he was mouthing Tokito’s Adam’s apple—stopping there to suck on the skin and pinch it between his teeth.
Beneath him Tokito jerked and the smallest groan left his mouth. The hand on the back of Kubota’s neck tightened in reflex and the pressure caused a moment of discomfort before those fingers loosened again and swept lower down. The nails scraped down beneath Kubota’s t-shirt, following the nubs of his spine as the air around them felt like it was beginning to warm.
“Kubo-chan...”
“Hmm...”
“Covers are in the way...”
“Oh.” Kubota pulled away a little and blinked down into Tokito’s face. “Sorry.”
The smallest smile touched Tokito’s mouth. “Yeah—but could you move them?”
Better. But the tension was still there, making Tokito’s muscles tense. Kubota could feel it in the twitches of the fingers buried down the back of his shirt. With every shift of Kubota’s body under his hand, Tokito’s fingers would twitch as if Tokito were trying to keep them so still that they couldn’t cope. It continued that way until Kubota had shoved the covers all the way down and slipped his hands between them.
Kubota didn’t want to give him time to think this over and so before coming down on Tokito again, he pushed Tokito’s t-shirt all the way up. When he lowered his mouth again it was to lock it around one tiny nipple that had pebbled from the cold.
Those fingers really jerked then. Kubota felt the little pricks of pain as his skin was torn but he ignored the way Tokito stiffened and sucked on the little bud pressing against his tongue.
He heard the gasp and felt the pads of those fingers press hard against his skin, trying not to dig the nails further in and do more damage.
Meaning that Tokito was still thinking about it too much.
Kubota slid himself between Tokito’s legs again, reaching one hand down to brush up against the strong muscle of Tokito’s inner thigh—the skin smooth beneath his hand as he pulled Tokito’s leg away to make space for himself. He laid himself right there, and felt something in his chest tighten.
This was when Kubota couldn’t help the selfishness. The voice at the back of his head that said he would never be able to let go of this. Tokito wrapped around him like this felt—despite the danger of possibly being torn open—safe. It felt like it was the only thing he needed even if they were doing it outside and homeless. He could let go of everyone else. Kubota knew he could move on from them. But Tokito. Tokito he didn’t want to let go of. And Kubota wanted him just for himself.
Just for him.
At the first arch of those hips against him Kubota turned his face, pressing his cheek into Tokito’s chest, hearing the dull thud of Tokito’s heart beneath his ear even as he felt the dampness that his mouth had left on Tokito’s skin rub off on his cheek.
Tokito’s hand was pulling itself out from beneath Kubota’s t-shirt only to fist the material there and buck up into Kubota, pressing his head into the pillow and biting into his lip as he ground himself against Kubota, slow, hard grinds of his hips. And Kubota was kissing him again, sliding a hand between them; even as he heard the sound of his t-shirt tearing. He slid his hand down, fingers slipping past the elastic of Tokito’s shorts, the rough pads of his fingers moving over the short coarse hairs there until he was curling his hand around Tokito’s erection.
Tokito groaned and Kubota heard the material rip some more: a longer, louder sound that told him the damage to the t-shirt had been worse this time. But he didn’t stop. He licked at Tokito’s shoulder, nosing the collar of Tokito’s shirt away from it and dragging his teeth over the tanned skin there.
Kubota gave Tokito’s erection a brief squeeze but didn’t attempt to jerk him off. His hand was too dry for that. So not as mindful of Tokito’s sharp nails as he should be, he pushed himself until he was lying lower in between Tokito’s legs and Tokito’s hand was forced to move to Kubota’s head again if he still wanted to keep touching him.
“Kubo-chan—“ Tokito groaned, forgetting himself as he clenched his fingers in Kubota’s hair and Kubota found himself wondering if later on he’d have to learn what he looked like with a bald head.
But he was already tugging down Tokito’s shorts, squinting down at the head of Tokito’s cock that was lying hard against Tokito’s stomach.
Kubota heard a sharp intake of breath when his mouth touched the tip. Tokito’s body went rigid for the space of five seconds before Tokito shuddered. His hand moved from Kubota’s head to his shoulder and his fingers gripped so hard that Kubota winced around the cock in his mouth. But he kept on going, rubbing the tip of his tongue against the small slit and then sucking the head into his mouth.
“Nnngh—“ Tokito began rocking up a bit into Kubota’s mouth and Kubota had to place a hand on his hip to keep him from pushing in too far as he started working his mouth up and down over the hard length.
Tokito was panting now, the bed shaking along with him as he dug his feet into the mattress and his nails raked across Kubota’s shoulder even as the mound of his palm pressed down against it.
Kubota pulled his mouth away, pressing his cheek to the damp erection, his eyes closed as his own cock started to ache from the lack of attention to it. “Shh...” he said, rubbing the palm of his hand over the swell of one buttock and sliding his fingers between in the crease between them. “Okay?”
“Ye-yeah—“
Kubota wet his fingers a little; enough to help them when he slid them back down and found the softly puckered skin around the tight ring of muscle there. He took Tokito into his mouth again at the same time as he pushed the tip of one finger in—
“AAh—“ Tokito pushed his hips up and Kubota almost gagged at how far he went but somehow managed to keep himself from doing it, swallowing around it. Tokito felt that as well and jerked against him. It was enough distraction for Kubota to slide his finger all the way in to the second knuckle. Kubota had started rocking into the mattress himself, rubbing his cock against it to try and relieve some of the painful arousal.
By the time the second finger was in, Tokito had released Kubota’s shoulder and dragged his nails across the sheet, ripping the sheets and the leaving fluff from the mattress visible.
Kubota stretched across his body, dropping one kiss on Tokito’s damp chest—tugging his own t-shirt off—he nipped at Tokito’s ear, breathing harshly into his it as he rubbed himself against Tokito with slow circle of his hips.
The brutal grip on his hair returned and so Kubota kissed Tokito again, all the while his hand scrabbling for the bedside table and the small little tube that was hidden underneath the mess of magazines, books and comics, littering it.
The lube was a shock of cold against Kubota’s fingers, such a contrast to the hot skin of Tokito’s thighs as they pressed against Kubota’s hips.
Another long scratch was drawn down from Kubota’s lower back to his ass when Tokito sent an impatient hand to tug down Kubota’s shorts, fingers clumsy and desperate. Tokito was pulling at his bound hand but didn’t do anything more than make the belt tighten across the skin of his wrist. It was going to leave a mark later.
Then that same hand was clamping onto Kubota’s hip, nails biting deep and the pain burst like cloud inside him to mingle with the arousal as Kubota hitched Tokito’s thigh higher on his other side, stopping only when he felt Tokito’s knee pressing against his ribs. His other hand was between them, taking himself in hand and pressing the head of his cock against the small opening, and he pushed—
“Shit, Kubo—”
Kubota pushed all the way in, his mind feeling like it was being wiped blank as he stopped and just breathed. He could smell Tokito, could feel the tense line of his thigh where he still held it against him.
Tokito’s hand kneaded his buttock and Kubota pulled out a little and thrust back in.
Tokito’s bound hand curled tight around the bar. His eyes were closed tight now, his mouth hanging open as Kubota began to thrust into him again and again.
Kubota lowered himself, pressing his body completely to Tokito’s and curling himself around him as much as he could—he felt Tokito’s erection rub against his stomach with every move the made and felt Tokito’s nails dig deeper, felt the slight trickle of something damp that Kubota wasn’t sure if it was sweat or a little blood. He didn’t know the difference right then, not when Tokito had forgotten about it and was pushing into Kubota, taking him deeper, those fingers urging Kubota deeper until Kubota was forced to stop and just rut, hips grinding and pushing and pushing—
He fisted the sheets in his hand, pressing his forehead against Tokito’s shoulder and hearing those pants, harsh and loud, hot air against his ear—
Then Tokito was arching beneath him, his hand dragging harsh raw lines back up to Kubota’s hip as he shook, coming onto both their stomach’s and sealed to Kubota.
The clenching, so tight and hot around him was what made Kubota give in. It was what made him let go of that perfection of having Tokito to himself completely—and he came, gasping into Tokito’s neck and shuddering himself.
They just slumped down on the bed, damp and coming down from their high, still locked together as much as it was possible without physically fusing. Their breathing together, fast intakes of breaths, sounded perfect to Kubota and he thought to himself that he could fall asleep like this and wake up to this. Like they sometimes did... minus the tying up. Although that had been interesting.
It was a few seconds until Kubota realised that Tokito’s breathing had evened out, his chest rising and falling quietly against Kubota’s and he realised Tokito had fallen asleep again. With hand on Kubota’s ass and Kubota still inside him. His arm tied to the bed.
Kubota pushed himself up enough to look at Tokito. His mouth was slightly open, lips still swollen and cheeks a little reddened. But his eyes were closed and all the tension that had been there earlier had left his face.
Sighing, Kubota reached over to the belt and undid it. Tokito would probably complain if he woke up to find himself with a numb arm that would soon slip into pins and needles.
Kubota tossed the belt on the floor, wincing a little at the loud clang it made as it hit the wood before he slipped away, sliding out of Tokito with care and barely moving the bed as he got off of it. He returned to the room a few moments later with a warm damp cloth and wiped Tokito down gently, pausing only when Tokito murmured his name and turned to burrow into the bed.
Kubota stood there for a second, his naked body beginning to feel the cold once more, but he endured it a bit just to watch Tokito a little longer.
Then he took the cloth back, wiped himself down and returned to the bed. He pulled the covers up around them and scooted down on the bed to wrap his arms around Tokito’s waist and nestle his head just under Tokito’s chin.
His own eyes closed when Tokito’s arms came around him and Tokito pushed closer to him.
To keep this, he’d give anything.
Author/Artist: hina88/
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Yaoi, m/m, explicit sexual situations, anal
Word count: 4,081
Summary: To keep this, he’d give anything.
A/N: And late again, apologies! Hope you guys still enjoy it. Quick check of fic but again, not beta’d so apologies for any mistakes you may find. This was written for the prompt: 5 – Wild Adapter, Kubota/Tokito: light bondage – “I’d give you everything I own.”
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in this story. Wild Adapter and all its characters are property of Kazuya Minekura and I make no money from these writings.
In the time they’d been together, Kubota had grown used to it. He did with it what he did with everything else they couldn’t change. He bore with it. He waited it out. Then he stepped over it and moved on.
Except the problem with this was that he couldn’t just get over it, because it didn’t involve just Kubota alone.
He watched from the open doorway and let the smoke slip out from between his lips as he took in the curled up body on the single bed. The blinds to the windows were still drawn down low, not allowing any light to slip into the room. Kubota could see though, the fine trembling that was rippling through Tokito’s body, he could see the hand that was cradled to his chest and he could hear the harsh breaths that burst from Tokito as if each one was being beaten out of him. It was going to be another one of those nights. When Tokito’s hand acted up, it was the only time that Tokito felt a need to put something between them.
Just a wall. Something to separate them so that Kubota wouldn’t see.
So Kubota remained crouched where he was, coffee mug held by two fingers, the ceramic already cold against his fingers. He was on his third cigarette and the ash tray was littered with ash where it sat on the floor. He waited.
The apartment was quiet but he could hear the low sound of the television behind him. The play station remote still remained where Tokito had dropped it, one of the handles smashed into pieces on the floor. Afterwards Tokito had stayed crouched down, clutching his wrist and breathing it out before he managed to push himself to his feet and staggered over to their bed. Times like these remained the only moments where Kubota didn’t touch Tokito.
Tokito had asked him not to.
So Kubota waited some more.
He waited until the shuddering stopped and Tokito’s breathing eased into smoother patterns. And he stayed there even after those breaths took on the lower sound of sleep.
Kubota didn’t notice when he himself fell asleep, his back pressed to the door’s frame and his head resting back against it.
The cigarette burned out while still clutched in his fingers.
When Kubota woke up, he realised he couldn’t feel his thigh.
He blinked, not seeing anything for a few seconds until he reached up and adjusted his glasses and everything came into view once again. He looked down into his lap to see Tokito’s head using his leg as a pillow.
Sometime between the time he’d fallen asleep, Tokito had dragged the covers off of the bed and curled up on the floor beside him. He was wrapped tight in the covers but after listening to just his breathing for a few moments, Kubota realised that Tokito wasn’t asleep.
Kubota leaned his head back against the door frame and began running his fingers through Tokito’s hair.
His lips were itching for the feel of a cigarette between them but that could wait. The TV was still on in the background since no one had turned it off.
“Do you want something to eat?” Kubota asked, staring at the wall opposite, enjoying the feel of Tokito’s hair against his hand, the warmth of his scalp against his palm.
“No.” Tokito said. But he didn’t open his eyes.
“Okay.” His hand left Tokito’s hair and moved down, hand curling around Tokito’s neck and his thumb beginning a brush, back and forth across Tokito’s skin. “Then should we go to bed?”
Tokito turned his face into Kubota’s thigh, his eyes still closed. “Okay.”
This time when he woke up, he’d been asleep for longer.
It was warm under the covers.
Kubota opened his eyes, squinting but even then it was tough to make out the clean lines of Tokito’s face beside him. But he could tell that Tokito was lying on his back and his eyes were open. His right hand was in front of his face and Kubota could somehow manage to make out the slow turns of it, as if Tokito were examining it. Even without his glasses on, Kubota could still see the long length of the nails on that hand.
Then as if becoming aware that Kubota was awake, Tokito turned to look at him and lowered his hand to his chest and curled it into a fist.
“Kubo-chan...”
“Hmm?”
Then the hand that Tokito had curled on his chest lifted and came close enough to Kubota’s face that he could see it clearly. He saw the long sharp nails that could easily cut his skin with the slightest pressure, saw the roughness of that palm, the coarse hair so reminiscent of an animal’s.
Kubota remained still on the bed, buried in the warmth of the blankets and the pillow and Tokito. He merely watched the hand with the same squint and waited for Tokito to show him whatever it was that he needed from him in this moment.
For Tokito he could wait for a long time.
Kubota felt those nails scrape lightly at his cheek and he scooted closer to Tokito—Tokito’s hand stilled—wanting to be able to see the expression on his face. And he managed, everything became a little clearer and as soon as Kubota stopped moving, Tokito’s hand started the little scraping touches again. Closer this way, Kubota realised that Tokito’s hand had the finest of trembles. His eyebrows were dipping low, his mouth parted a little but still tense.
“Tokito,” he said, and slipped his arm out from beneath the covers, not really liking how the air felt so much colder outside of them. But he forgot about that as his hand curled around Tokito’s wrist.
Tokito became stiff beside him and his eyes widened a little. His breathing started coming out a little faster, quick short breaths that made his shoulders jerk under the covers.
Against the palm of his hand Kubota could feel the place where skin stopped and the fur began and slow, not wanting to startle Tokito, he slid his hand lower until his fingers were folding around Tokito’s in a gentle grip, his own fingers brushing against his cheek as Tokito hadn’t moved his hand away from Kubota’s face.
Tokito’s breathing was the one loud thing in the room, drowning out the sound of the clock and of that TV which was still there in the background.
But then when Kubota began to turn his face into the touch, it seemed to be too much for Tokito.
That hand shoved him away. In his panic Tokito forgot the strength that was probably what had scared him into those light touches to begin with, and Kubota felt a nail slice open the skin over his left cheek. The hiss left him before he could help it and his hand tightened around Tokito’s even as Tokito sat up and tried to tug it away.
“Let go—I—I don’t like it—my glove—“
Kubota didn’t let go, keeping his eyes on Tokito’s face even though it had become a blur again.
“Tokito,” Kubota said, still holding onto his hand as Tokito turned his face away and tugged again. He could’ve easily pulled his hand from Kubota’s but he didn’t probably because that would take a little more force. This really was where the problem was.
Kubota could still feel the tremble of that powerful hand that hadn’t gone away and this time he managed to press it to his face, spreading Tokito’s palm right over the fresh cut on his face. Kubota could feel the sting as it pressed to the warmth of the abnormal hand. He allowed himself a small, barely noticeable smile, the corner of his mouth brushing against the mound of Tokito’s palm.
Pushing the covers away with his other arm, Kubota reached out to him. But instead of pulling him to him, Kubota hooked his fingers onto the back of Tokito’s t-shirt and jerked him back with enough force to lay him out flat on his back. Before Tokito could do any more than turn to him with widened eyes, Kubota slid on top of him. Sliding one leg between Tokito’s and making room for himself there, he braced one hand next to Tokito’s face to keep his weight off of him whilst keeping a hold on Tokito’s hand with his other.
Tokito stared up at him. His gaze flicked from Kubota’s face to where Kubota held their hands together.
Then Kubota scooted a little lower, enjoying the feeling as his own t-shirt hitched up with the motion and left Kubota’s stomach pressing warm against Tokito’s. His t-shirt had ridden up too. Kubota lowered his mouth to the warmth of Tokito’s neck and spoke into the hollow he found a little lower down.
“Even if you hurt me, it would be okay.” He murmured.
With Tokito it would be. Kubota wouldn’t mind giving him everything he owned. Because Tokito was Tokito.
Tokito went still beneath him.
“It would be okay.” Kubota repeated. “Here—“ he finally let go of Tokito’s hand and drew himself up until he was kneeling over Tokito, once again unable to see the expression on Tokito’s face. “Wait here...” Kubota said and brushed a hand over Tokito’s thigh before he got off the bed and padded out of the room on bare feet, knowing Tokito would stay there out of curiosity for the request alone.
It didn’t take Kubota long to find what he needed. He made do with the belt that had still been on the jeans he’d tossed into the laundry the day before. He tugged it out and then headed back to their room, making a mental note to turn up the heater later on; the apartment really did feel cold.
When he stepped back inside the room, Tokito was propped up on his elbows and he sat up a little straighter when Kubota came to the side of the bed and sat down.
“Okay, let’s try this hmmm?” Kubota reached for Tokito’s hand, his calloused fingers tracing the knuckles and the smooth skin of them before tugging on his hand. He leaned forward over him until Tokito sank back into the bed, eyes still on Kubota. But he allowed Kubota to lead his hand back to the bed railings behind his head, let Kubota carry on even after Kubota had curled Tokito’s fingers around one of the bars and then began wrapping the belt around his wrist.
Kubota wrapped it around Tokito’s wrist and looped it around the bar before finally moving back and looking back down at Tokito.
For a few seconds Tokito was silent and didn’t move, just looking up at Kubota as he stayed sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning over him enough to see his face. But then, Tokito reached out with his free hand, starting and stopping several times before it finally reached Kubota. Kubota let his eyes close as he felt the touch of those sharp claws as Tokito stroked his fingers into Kubota’s hair, the movements slow and careful.
Kubota didn’t move, not wanting to do anything to ruin the tentative exploration that Tokito had held back on for so long—at least, they had never tried it this way. Like this.
When the softest of pressures urged him to lower his head, Kubota followed. He placed his hands either side of Tokito’s head and almost smiled when Tokito’s mouth brushed against his, dry but soft. Tokito’s hand slid from Kubota’s hair to the back of his neck, hand curling around it and pressing Kubota’s mouth harder against his until Kubota opened his mouth and sucked Tokito’s bottom lip in, dragging his tongue across it in a slow sweep.
Tokito parted his lips and turned his head just a little, enough to slip inside Kubota’s mouth and kiss him back.
Kubota pulled himself onto the bed properly, fitting himself over Tokito over the covers and sliding a hand beneath them, pushing them lower so that he could get his arm around Tokito’s waist and tugged him closer to him.
He nipped at Tokito’s mouth and then pulled his mouth away to start doing the same thing to the line of Tokito’s jaw, his chin, lower until he was mouthing Tokito’s Adam’s apple—stopping there to suck on the skin and pinch it between his teeth.
Beneath him Tokito jerked and the smallest groan left his mouth. The hand on the back of Kubota’s neck tightened in reflex and the pressure caused a moment of discomfort before those fingers loosened again and swept lower down. The nails scraped down beneath Kubota’s t-shirt, following the nubs of his spine as the air around them felt like it was beginning to warm.
“Kubo-chan...”
“Hmm...”
“Covers are in the way...”
“Oh.” Kubota pulled away a little and blinked down into Tokito’s face. “Sorry.”
The smallest smile touched Tokito’s mouth. “Yeah—but could you move them?”
Better. But the tension was still there, making Tokito’s muscles tense. Kubota could feel it in the twitches of the fingers buried down the back of his shirt. With every shift of Kubota’s body under his hand, Tokito’s fingers would twitch as if Tokito were trying to keep them so still that they couldn’t cope. It continued that way until Kubota had shoved the covers all the way down and slipped his hands between them.
Kubota didn’t want to give him time to think this over and so before coming down on Tokito again, he pushed Tokito’s t-shirt all the way up. When he lowered his mouth again it was to lock it around one tiny nipple that had pebbled from the cold.
Those fingers really jerked then. Kubota felt the little pricks of pain as his skin was torn but he ignored the way Tokito stiffened and sucked on the little bud pressing against his tongue.
He heard the gasp and felt the pads of those fingers press hard against his skin, trying not to dig the nails further in and do more damage.
Meaning that Tokito was still thinking about it too much.
Kubota slid himself between Tokito’s legs again, reaching one hand down to brush up against the strong muscle of Tokito’s inner thigh—the skin smooth beneath his hand as he pulled Tokito’s leg away to make space for himself. He laid himself right there, and felt something in his chest tighten.
This was when Kubota couldn’t help the selfishness. The voice at the back of his head that said he would never be able to let go of this. Tokito wrapped around him like this felt—despite the danger of possibly being torn open—safe. It felt like it was the only thing he needed even if they were doing it outside and homeless. He could let go of everyone else. Kubota knew he could move on from them. But Tokito. Tokito he didn’t want to let go of. And Kubota wanted him just for himself.
Just for him.
At the first arch of those hips against him Kubota turned his face, pressing his cheek into Tokito’s chest, hearing the dull thud of Tokito’s heart beneath his ear even as he felt the dampness that his mouth had left on Tokito’s skin rub off on his cheek.
Tokito’s hand was pulling itself out from beneath Kubota’s t-shirt only to fist the material there and buck up into Kubota, pressing his head into the pillow and biting into his lip as he ground himself against Kubota, slow, hard grinds of his hips. And Kubota was kissing him again, sliding a hand between them; even as he heard the sound of his t-shirt tearing. He slid his hand down, fingers slipping past the elastic of Tokito’s shorts, the rough pads of his fingers moving over the short coarse hairs there until he was curling his hand around Tokito’s erection.
Tokito groaned and Kubota heard the material rip some more: a longer, louder sound that told him the damage to the t-shirt had been worse this time. But he didn’t stop. He licked at Tokito’s shoulder, nosing the collar of Tokito’s shirt away from it and dragging his teeth over the tanned skin there.
Kubota gave Tokito’s erection a brief squeeze but didn’t attempt to jerk him off. His hand was too dry for that. So not as mindful of Tokito’s sharp nails as he should be, he pushed himself until he was lying lower in between Tokito’s legs and Tokito’s hand was forced to move to Kubota’s head again if he still wanted to keep touching him.
“Kubo-chan—“ Tokito groaned, forgetting himself as he clenched his fingers in Kubota’s hair and Kubota found himself wondering if later on he’d have to learn what he looked like with a bald head.
But he was already tugging down Tokito’s shorts, squinting down at the head of Tokito’s cock that was lying hard against Tokito’s stomach.
Kubota heard a sharp intake of breath when his mouth touched the tip. Tokito’s body went rigid for the space of five seconds before Tokito shuddered. His hand moved from Kubota’s head to his shoulder and his fingers gripped so hard that Kubota winced around the cock in his mouth. But he kept on going, rubbing the tip of his tongue against the small slit and then sucking the head into his mouth.
“Nnngh—“ Tokito began rocking up a bit into Kubota’s mouth and Kubota had to place a hand on his hip to keep him from pushing in too far as he started working his mouth up and down over the hard length.
Tokito was panting now, the bed shaking along with him as he dug his feet into the mattress and his nails raked across Kubota’s shoulder even as the mound of his palm pressed down against it.
Kubota pulled his mouth away, pressing his cheek to the damp erection, his eyes closed as his own cock started to ache from the lack of attention to it. “Shh...” he said, rubbing the palm of his hand over the swell of one buttock and sliding his fingers between in the crease between them. “Okay?”
“Ye-yeah—“
Kubota wet his fingers a little; enough to help them when he slid them back down and found the softly puckered skin around the tight ring of muscle there. He took Tokito into his mouth again at the same time as he pushed the tip of one finger in—
“AAh—“ Tokito pushed his hips up and Kubota almost gagged at how far he went but somehow managed to keep himself from doing it, swallowing around it. Tokito felt that as well and jerked against him. It was enough distraction for Kubota to slide his finger all the way in to the second knuckle. Kubota had started rocking into the mattress himself, rubbing his cock against it to try and relieve some of the painful arousal.
By the time the second finger was in, Tokito had released Kubota’s shoulder and dragged his nails across the sheet, ripping the sheets and the leaving fluff from the mattress visible.
Kubota stretched across his body, dropping one kiss on Tokito’s damp chest—tugging his own t-shirt off—he nipped at Tokito’s ear, breathing harshly into his it as he rubbed himself against Tokito with slow circle of his hips.
The brutal grip on his hair returned and so Kubota kissed Tokito again, all the while his hand scrabbling for the bedside table and the small little tube that was hidden underneath the mess of magazines, books and comics, littering it.
The lube was a shock of cold against Kubota’s fingers, such a contrast to the hot skin of Tokito’s thighs as they pressed against Kubota’s hips.
Another long scratch was drawn down from Kubota’s lower back to his ass when Tokito sent an impatient hand to tug down Kubota’s shorts, fingers clumsy and desperate. Tokito was pulling at his bound hand but didn’t do anything more than make the belt tighten across the skin of his wrist. It was going to leave a mark later.
Then that same hand was clamping onto Kubota’s hip, nails biting deep and the pain burst like cloud inside him to mingle with the arousal as Kubota hitched Tokito’s thigh higher on his other side, stopping only when he felt Tokito’s knee pressing against his ribs. His other hand was between them, taking himself in hand and pressing the head of his cock against the small opening, and he pushed—
“Shit, Kubo—”
Kubota pushed all the way in, his mind feeling like it was being wiped blank as he stopped and just breathed. He could smell Tokito, could feel the tense line of his thigh where he still held it against him.
Tokito’s hand kneaded his buttock and Kubota pulled out a little and thrust back in.
Tokito’s bound hand curled tight around the bar. His eyes were closed tight now, his mouth hanging open as Kubota began to thrust into him again and again.
Kubota lowered himself, pressing his body completely to Tokito’s and curling himself around him as much as he could—he felt Tokito’s erection rub against his stomach with every move the made and felt Tokito’s nails dig deeper, felt the slight trickle of something damp that Kubota wasn’t sure if it was sweat or a little blood. He didn’t know the difference right then, not when Tokito had forgotten about it and was pushing into Kubota, taking him deeper, those fingers urging Kubota deeper until Kubota was forced to stop and just rut, hips grinding and pushing and pushing—
He fisted the sheets in his hand, pressing his forehead against Tokito’s shoulder and hearing those pants, harsh and loud, hot air against his ear—
Then Tokito was arching beneath him, his hand dragging harsh raw lines back up to Kubota’s hip as he shook, coming onto both their stomach’s and sealed to Kubota.
The clenching, so tight and hot around him was what made Kubota give in. It was what made him let go of that perfection of having Tokito to himself completely—and he came, gasping into Tokito’s neck and shuddering himself.
They just slumped down on the bed, damp and coming down from their high, still locked together as much as it was possible without physically fusing. Their breathing together, fast intakes of breaths, sounded perfect to Kubota and he thought to himself that he could fall asleep like this and wake up to this. Like they sometimes did... minus the tying up. Although that had been interesting.
It was a few seconds until Kubota realised that Tokito’s breathing had evened out, his chest rising and falling quietly against Kubota’s and he realised Tokito had fallen asleep again. With hand on Kubota’s ass and Kubota still inside him. His arm tied to the bed.
Kubota pushed himself up enough to look at Tokito. His mouth was slightly open, lips still swollen and cheeks a little reddened. But his eyes were closed and all the tension that had been there earlier had left his face.
Sighing, Kubota reached over to the belt and undid it. Tokito would probably complain if he woke up to find himself with a numb arm that would soon slip into pins and needles.
Kubota tossed the belt on the floor, wincing a little at the loud clang it made as it hit the wood before he slipped away, sliding out of Tokito with care and barely moving the bed as he got off of it. He returned to the room a few moments later with a warm damp cloth and wiped Tokito down gently, pausing only when Tokito murmured his name and turned to burrow into the bed.
Kubota stood there for a second, his naked body beginning to feel the cold once more, but he endured it a bit just to watch Tokito a little longer.
Then he took the cloth back, wiped himself down and returned to the bed. He pulled the covers up around them and scooted down on the bed to wrap his arms around Tokito’s waist and nestle his head just under Tokito’s chin.
His own eyes closed when Tokito’s arms came around him and Tokito pushed closer to him.
To keep this, he’d give anything.
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Date: 2010-03-07 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-07 03:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-07 05:27 am (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2010-03-07 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-07 05:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-07 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-07 06:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-07 06:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-08 12:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-08 07:21 am (UTC)and LOL XD <3<3<3 I'm glad you liked it *hugs*
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Date: 2010-03-08 01:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-08 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-09 01:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-12 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-10 12:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-12 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-16 06:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-17 09:45 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked it <3<3<3