Milestones [Persona 4, Naoto/Kanji, R]
Feb. 2nd, 2011 07:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
harukami posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
kinkfestTitle: Milestones
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
harukami
Rating: R
Warnings: Really just the sex
Prompt: Persona 4; Kanji/Naoto: anal - She felt more like a man this way
Word count: 1413
Summary: Kanji and Naoto have a relationship based on premises, and reach an important milestone in said relationship.
When Naoto and Kanji hook up in their second year of high school they do so keeping two important premises in mind.
One: Naoto will never make fun of Kanji's pajamas.
("Why on earth," Naoto had asked, completely lost, "would I make fun of your pajamas?"
"Well, they're kinda... y'know," Kanji had said, which really wasn't actually any sort of answer at all.
Naoto had said, even more at sea, "What perplexes me is the thought that I am actually capable of making fun. I assure you I would take your pajamas completely seriously."
"That might be even worse," Kanji had groaned.
His pajamas had turned out to be pink, with blue skulls patterned on them. Homemade, he'd said, awkwardly. Stupid, he'd said awkwardly, what was he thinking. Naoto had put a hand on his arm and said, "They're fine, Kanji," though how they were fashion she certainly didn't know.)
Two: Although Naoto is attempting to think of herself as female in a way she can come to terms with, she is not particularly comfortable in a female body and the thought of being treated and viewed like a woman is appalling. Given her (admittedly strong) body issues, she would prefer to cater to her comfort level during sex.
("S-s-sex," Kanji had stammered, going really red. "Aren't we moving kind of fast, I mean, whoa, I'm not arguing, I just--" and then he'd cut himself off and said, "Naoto, this ain't on level with me worrying about what you'd think of my jammies at all."
"Well, no, admittedly not," she'd said, awkwardly.
"I shoulda shut up, let you go first; God, now I sound like a total dickbag."
"A dickbag...?"
"A bag of dicks," Kanji had clarified.
Naoto let that one go. "Our worries are our worries," she'd said, finally. "Neither of us want to be ashamed or uncomfortable. I think that's what this all comes down to: how can we navigate this knife's edge of gender roles, gender identity, gender attachment and fear and desire, in order to maintain a relationship where the physical elements will be pleasurable instead of harmful? However deep our concerns ran when we want to mention them, isn't that really what they mean? There is nothing heteronormative about us."
"Heteronormative?"
Naoto had looked up at him and knew that there was something raw and painful in her eyes that she couldn't remove, though she'd tried. "Like a normal boy-girl relationship."
Kanji had looked away first, then slung an arm around her, crushing her to his chest. "Whatever," he said, "I don't care." Which wasn't exactly true, she thought; ultimately, one of the things they'd had in common was that they both wished to be perceived as normal men. Just that he'd wanted the perceptions of his masculinity to include his traits most associated with the feminine, while she'd wished them to exclude hers. But Kanji hadn't finished talking. "Naoto's Naoto and I'm me. Normal, we can't decide that shit, or what other people think of us, or whatever. Life'd be way easier if we could, huh? But whatever, let's just live how we want to, and do whatever the hell we want to, and be free, right? Maybe we're the last people who could say if this was gay or straight or heterowhatever, so why try it? We can just... be us. In a relationship. If you want."
"Be free," she echoed. "Be us. I'm not sure I even know how to do that."
"Yeah... well..."
But then she'd smiled, and put a hand to his chest, because he was holding her too tight and said, "I'd like to try it anyway.")
So this is how they've ended up in a relationship, and so far it has been, Naoto thinks, satisfactory in more sense than one. She has always tried to quell her sex drive in the past because -- well, because of her situation, and because she'd far rather be perceived in the schema of the Holmesian asexual boy detective rather than that of the sexy girl detective, and because she is fairly sure her tendency to consider all events around her, emotional or not, through a strict lens of rationality tends to be counter-productive to romance regardless.
However, with Kanji -- so far, at least -- it has been going quite well. So far, she reminds herself again, and the suggestion she is about to make might ruin things, depending on if his issues arise and if he takes it badly. Still, even if he isn't interested, so long as he isn't offended they will still have what they always had.
She suggests it.
He stares at her for a few long, stunned seconds, and she resigns herself to the rejection of it.
Kanji says, "But I ain't gay."
That isn't quite what she'd expected though, perhaps, she should have. "I find it so odd," she says, "that in public where we look like an ordinary, physically male couple, you shrug off what people say about it, yet in private, when we're naked and you're well aware of my sex, you're afraid an act will make you seem homosexual. I had thought it was the perception which troubled you..."
"That's not -- I mean, I ain't--"
"It's fine, of course," Naoto adds, looking down a little. "It was just--" An act, the act of penetrating, so firmly ensconced in everybody's mind as the pinnacle of masculinity and masculine power, which she has been a little hungry to try. "--Regardless, neither of us should feel obliged to do anything they do not wish to. That's important."
Kanji is red down to his shoulders. "I uh," he squeaks, and cleared his throat. "Lemme think about it, I guess."
It is honestly more than she'd expected. "You don't have to," she says, and smiles a little. "But thank you," she adds, and reaches for him, to distract both of them.
***
Just under a week later, he says, "All right! All right, okay."
Which confuses her because she has been reading a newspaper while he's been working on a doll in the quiet after-dinner hours. "I -- pardon?"
"That thing. That. We can do... that."
She blinks, then flushes. "A-ah, yes," she says. "Okay. That's good."
"That's okay, right? I mean, you still -- if you don't wanna that's fine too!"
"It's fine, Kanji," she manages, although she thinks she must be blushing harder than he is. "I'd still like to, yes. That would be good."
"Okay," he says. Then, squeaking, "Now?"
She looks down at her newspaper. It honestly isn't actually all that interesting. "Yes," she says. "Yes, all right."
***
He's nervous, too nervous, so she kisses him slowly, as close to softly as she's ever taught herself to do, and strokes his thin hair as she does. She takes her time, half building up that sense of anticipation she can feel shivering up her spine, and half trying to calm him down. No regrets, she thinks. I'm not in this to have any regrets.
Maybe Kanji doesn't relax entirely, but he does relax some; enough, even, wrapping his arms around Naoto and kissing her back, and they play a bit with hands and mouths to get each other interested, like they've been doing so far, and then finally Kanji leans back, throws his forearm over his face to hide and says, "Just do it, Naoto."
Naoto kisses him again and slides a finger up into him.
He makes an odd noise, hoarse, more surprised than anything else. "Hn," he says. "Okay, sure, whatever."
"Not bad?"
"...Nah," he says, and she leans over him, moving her hand. "Aw, hell, Naoto--"
"Kanji?"
"It's fine," he says, so red it looks like it can hurt. "Give me lots."
So she does; she works him up to several fingers and watches his reactions, thrusts them hard and watches him squirm and pant and swear and it's really nice, she thinks, how gratifying he is, because she's not good at interpreting, but like this she knows that it's good, she knows that she's doing this to him, and it doesn't feel odd or awkward or like she pushed things too hard because he does, clearly, like it so much.
"Do I feel good inside you, Kanji?" she asks, and he comes, tightening around her fingers.
***
Later, after she's showered, she comes downstairs and finds him elbow-deep in in dough.
"...What are you doing?" she asks, eventually.
"Bakin' you a pie."
"You're baking me a pie?"
"Hell yeah."
She considers asking, then just gives up, smiling, eyes closing. Maybe this is how he celebrates some kind of milestone. Now that she thinks of it, he'd brought pie to school the day after they started dating, too.
"Okay," she says, and goes to pick up her newspaper.
Author/Artist:
harukamiRating: R
Warnings: Really just the sex
Prompt: Persona 4; Kanji/Naoto: anal - She felt more like a man this way
Word count: 1413
Summary: Kanji and Naoto have a relationship based on premises, and reach an important milestone in said relationship.
When Naoto and Kanji hook up in their second year of high school they do so keeping two important premises in mind.
One: Naoto will never make fun of Kanji's pajamas.
("Why on earth," Naoto had asked, completely lost, "would I make fun of your pajamas?"
"Well, they're kinda... y'know," Kanji had said, which really wasn't actually any sort of answer at all.
Naoto had said, even more at sea, "What perplexes me is the thought that I am actually capable of making fun. I assure you I would take your pajamas completely seriously."
"That might be even worse," Kanji had groaned.
His pajamas had turned out to be pink, with blue skulls patterned on them. Homemade, he'd said, awkwardly. Stupid, he'd said awkwardly, what was he thinking. Naoto had put a hand on his arm and said, "They're fine, Kanji," though how they were fashion she certainly didn't know.)
Two: Although Naoto is attempting to think of herself as female in a way she can come to terms with, she is not particularly comfortable in a female body and the thought of being treated and viewed like a woman is appalling. Given her (admittedly strong) body issues, she would prefer to cater to her comfort level during sex.
("S-s-sex," Kanji had stammered, going really red. "Aren't we moving kind of fast, I mean, whoa, I'm not arguing, I just--" and then he'd cut himself off and said, "Naoto, this ain't on level with me worrying about what you'd think of my jammies at all."
"Well, no, admittedly not," she'd said, awkwardly.
"I shoulda shut up, let you go first; God, now I sound like a total dickbag."
"A dickbag...?"
"A bag of dicks," Kanji had clarified.
Naoto let that one go. "Our worries are our worries," she'd said, finally. "Neither of us want to be ashamed or uncomfortable. I think that's what this all comes down to: how can we navigate this knife's edge of gender roles, gender identity, gender attachment and fear and desire, in order to maintain a relationship where the physical elements will be pleasurable instead of harmful? However deep our concerns ran when we want to mention them, isn't that really what they mean? There is nothing heteronormative about us."
"Heteronormative?"
Naoto had looked up at him and knew that there was something raw and painful in her eyes that she couldn't remove, though she'd tried. "Like a normal boy-girl relationship."
Kanji had looked away first, then slung an arm around her, crushing her to his chest. "Whatever," he said, "I don't care." Which wasn't exactly true, she thought; ultimately, one of the things they'd had in common was that they both wished to be perceived as normal men. Just that he'd wanted the perceptions of his masculinity to include his traits most associated with the feminine, while she'd wished them to exclude hers. But Kanji hadn't finished talking. "Naoto's Naoto and I'm me. Normal, we can't decide that shit, or what other people think of us, or whatever. Life'd be way easier if we could, huh? But whatever, let's just live how we want to, and do whatever the hell we want to, and be free, right? Maybe we're the last people who could say if this was gay or straight or heterowhatever, so why try it? We can just... be us. In a relationship. If you want."
"Be free," she echoed. "Be us. I'm not sure I even know how to do that."
"Yeah... well..."
But then she'd smiled, and put a hand to his chest, because he was holding her too tight and said, "I'd like to try it anyway.")
So this is how they've ended up in a relationship, and so far it has been, Naoto thinks, satisfactory in more sense than one. She has always tried to quell her sex drive in the past because -- well, because of her situation, and because she'd far rather be perceived in the schema of the Holmesian asexual boy detective rather than that of the sexy girl detective, and because she is fairly sure her tendency to consider all events around her, emotional or not, through a strict lens of rationality tends to be counter-productive to romance regardless.
However, with Kanji -- so far, at least -- it has been going quite well. So far, she reminds herself again, and the suggestion she is about to make might ruin things, depending on if his issues arise and if he takes it badly. Still, even if he isn't interested, so long as he isn't offended they will still have what they always had.
She suggests it.
He stares at her for a few long, stunned seconds, and she resigns herself to the rejection of it.
Kanji says, "But I ain't gay."
That isn't quite what she'd expected though, perhaps, she should have. "I find it so odd," she says, "that in public where we look like an ordinary, physically male couple, you shrug off what people say about it, yet in private, when we're naked and you're well aware of my sex, you're afraid an act will make you seem homosexual. I had thought it was the perception which troubled you..."
"That's not -- I mean, I ain't--"
"It's fine, of course," Naoto adds, looking down a little. "It was just--" An act, the act of penetrating, so firmly ensconced in everybody's mind as the pinnacle of masculinity and masculine power, which she has been a little hungry to try. "--Regardless, neither of us should feel obliged to do anything they do not wish to. That's important."
Kanji is red down to his shoulders. "I uh," he squeaks, and cleared his throat. "Lemme think about it, I guess."
It is honestly more than she'd expected. "You don't have to," she says, and smiles a little. "But thank you," she adds, and reaches for him, to distract both of them.
***
Just under a week later, he says, "All right! All right, okay."
Which confuses her because she has been reading a newspaper while he's been working on a doll in the quiet after-dinner hours. "I -- pardon?"
"That thing. That. We can do... that."
She blinks, then flushes. "A-ah, yes," she says. "Okay. That's good."
"That's okay, right? I mean, you still -- if you don't wanna that's fine too!"
"It's fine, Kanji," she manages, although she thinks she must be blushing harder than he is. "I'd still like to, yes. That would be good."
"Okay," he says. Then, squeaking, "Now?"
She looks down at her newspaper. It honestly isn't actually all that interesting. "Yes," she says. "Yes, all right."
***
He's nervous, too nervous, so she kisses him slowly, as close to softly as she's ever taught herself to do, and strokes his thin hair as she does. She takes her time, half building up that sense of anticipation she can feel shivering up her spine, and half trying to calm him down. No regrets, she thinks. I'm not in this to have any regrets.
Maybe Kanji doesn't relax entirely, but he does relax some; enough, even, wrapping his arms around Naoto and kissing her back, and they play a bit with hands and mouths to get each other interested, like they've been doing so far, and then finally Kanji leans back, throws his forearm over his face to hide and says, "Just do it, Naoto."
Naoto kisses him again and slides a finger up into him.
He makes an odd noise, hoarse, more surprised than anything else. "Hn," he says. "Okay, sure, whatever."
"Not bad?"
"...Nah," he says, and she leans over him, moving her hand. "Aw, hell, Naoto--"
"Kanji?"
"It's fine," he says, so red it looks like it can hurt. "Give me lots."
So she does; she works him up to several fingers and watches his reactions, thrusts them hard and watches him squirm and pant and swear and it's really nice, she thinks, how gratifying he is, because she's not good at interpreting, but like this she knows that it's good, she knows that she's doing this to him, and it doesn't feel odd or awkward or like she pushed things too hard because he does, clearly, like it so much.
"Do I feel good inside you, Kanji?" she asks, and he comes, tightening around her fingers.
***
Later, after she's showered, she comes downstairs and finds him elbow-deep in in dough.
"...What are you doing?" she asks, eventually.
"Bakin' you a pie."
"You're baking me a pie?"
"Hell yeah."
She considers asking, then just gives up, smiling, eyes closing. Maybe this is how he celebrates some kind of milestone. Now that she thinks of it, he'd brought pie to school the day after they started dating, too.
"Okay," she says, and goes to pick up her newspaper.
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Date: 2011-02-03 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-03 04:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 04:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 04:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-03 05:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 04:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-03 07:54 pm (UTC)Also, both of them are so stupendously IC. I agree with the others; Kanji baking a pie at the end was so Kanji I had to grin.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 04:13 pm (UTC):3 The pie was surely flaky and delicious.