kinkfest | "Paths Taken, Paths Left Behind", xxxHolic, Doumeki/Watanuki

Title: Paths Taken, Paths Left Behind
Author:

lady_ganesh
Rating: R
Pairing: Watanuki/Doumeki
Prompt: established relationship - so we follow our wandering paths
Notes: Sorry this is a day late, I ended up AFK last night. Thanks to

opalmatrix for the beta. This fic ended up being AU for the last two canon chapters (and the idea I rejected as not working is far closer to what actually happened in canon, lol).

He wakes with Watanuki wrapped around him. It doesn't happen often, and when Watanuki finally wakes, he'll shove Doumeki half off the futon, complaining. So for now, Doumeki just enjoys the feel of Watanuki in sleep, a stillness that for once is neither exhaustion nor affected idleness.

Watanuki is too thin, too pale, too tired. Too young, and he looks even younger in sleep, with his glasses off, hair ruffled and half-across his face.

Love is not quite the word for what Doumeki feels, but it's the closest he can find.

You should get married, Watanuki told him once, too many years ago after too many glasses of sake. Have children. Don't waste your life running silly errands.

What makes you think you have anything to do with it? Doumeki had snapped back, and that'd been half true. He'd never thought about marriage or children, even before Watanuki. Sometimes he could half-glimpse another life, a hospital, perhaps, or a clinic, but it seemed more and more illusory as the years slipped by. Sometimes he wonders if Watanuki glimpses Himawari the same way; he never asks.

He briefly considers kissing Watanuki awake, but he knows his only reward will be a grumpy complaint about the state of the bedclothes and Doumeki's breath, so instead he shifts Watanuki's weight to a more comfortable position and allows himself to fall back into sleep.

When he wakes, he's rewarded for his restraint by the smell of breakfast. The futon seems cold without Watanuki's heat, so he rises and dresses quickly. Maru and Moro[OU1] are dancing around the kitchen, and Watanuki avoids them with his usual practiced grace. Doumeki keeps his distance: this game is theirs, and he has no interest in intruding.

Watanuki is wearing one of Yuuko's old yukata today, and Doumeki keeps waiting for the fabric to slip off one of Wakanuki's white shoulders. He won't do anything about it, not yet. It's better to anticipate. Still, his heartbeat picks up as the fabric gaps at Watanuki's neck.

He goes out to the table, where Mokona is already waiting. "Good morning!"

"Hello, Mokona," Doumeki says. Sometimes it disturbs him that one of his best friends is a small creature that looks like a rejected design from a children's television show, but Monoka is good company, and Watanuki still can't keep up with them when they really start drinking.

"We should've had mimosas," Mokona says. "But Watanuki said we'd get too drunk, and you'd be late."[OU2]

"We can have some when I come back," Doumeki assures Mokona.

"We'll drink twice as much, because Doumeki will be home again!" Mokona bounces a little in the chair.

"Yes."

After breakfast, Doumeki stays at the table with Watanuki for a little while, drinking coffee and watching people pass by the window.

"There's a customer coming this afternoon," Watanuki says, "but you'll be gone by then." The smoke from his pipe tints the air the faintest shade of grey.

"Be careful," Doumeki says. He says this every time, for all the good it does him. Watanuki has never listened.

"You too," Watanuki says. "'Research trip' or not, those old temples sometimes hide secrets, and--"

"I know," Doumeki answers. "I know." He reaches his hand out and passes his fingers over the back of Watanuki's wrist. Watanuki shivers, and Doumeki cannot resist smirking. "Should we take a bath before I go?"

Watanuki tips his chin up, which means just hurry up and get on with it.

Sex with Watanuki is not so different than being with him out of bed; sometimes he's langorous and lazy, sometimes fussy and demanding. Doumeki likes to take tease him until he's shuddering and desperate-- never quite desperate enough to beg but likely to complain-- but they both have to work today, and the time hangs over them.

Still, Watanuki's moans are adequate, and his fingers dig satisfyingly into Doumeki's shoulders as they move together, and watching Watanuki come undone never loses its appeal. Watanuki's breath is warm by his ear. "Oh," he says against Doumeki's skin. "Oh."

Afterward, the bath is deliciously hot, and Doumeki almost falls asleep before Watanuki pokes him with his foot and tells him he's going to be late if he doesn't get his lazy self out of the water.

"Kohane-chan will bring you groceries if you run out," Doumeki says, running over the list in his mind, "and Himiwari's husband is--"

"I know." Watanuki shakes his head. "We'll be fine."

"Fine," Maru says. Moro echoes her, smiling. "Fine, fine."

"Just be safe," Doumeki says.

"We will," Watanuki lies, and Doumeki knows that's as much assurance as he's going to get. "Now hurry up."

"Fine," Doumeki huffs. "I'll see you later, then."

"See you later," Watanuki says, and Doumeki knows they'll watch him as he continues down the street. He won't wave goodbye: Watanuki would just turn away and pretend he'd been looking at the market three doors down. Besides, he'll be back soon enough, and Watanuki will have, once again, managed to not injure himself too much...probably.

In the back of his mind, he knows that someday, Watanuki will be the one whose worry is justified, that someday Watanuki will be the one left alone, still seventeen, still waiting.

But for now, they have...whatever it is they have. Doumeki hopes that it will be enough.