kinkfest | Teamwork [Psychonauts, Sasha/Milla, G]

Title: Teamwork
Author:

sparkism
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Word Count: 780
Summary: Having a plan often helps, but sometimes impromptu heroics can really save the day.
Prompt: Nov 9 - Psychonauts, Sascha/Milla: international super agents, "just your typical mission involving hyperintelligent landsharks from Bulgaria"
Note: Yeah, so the person whose head they’re in really has no purpose. I didn’t think that far ahead. /unintentional pun. This whole thing is pretty much on crack.

“Ooh, darling, you seem to be bleeding,” Milla Vodello remarked as they crouched down behind an overturned chunk of concrete that had been knocked off a building very recently. She sounded surprised. Sasha Nein did not seemed concerned, however.

“It’s all in your mind,” he replied briskly, peering out over the debris.

Milla pursed her lips, glancing around. “This boy does have a very realistic imagination.”

“Aside from the hyper-intelligent landsharks. Someone’s been watching too much late night TV.”

As if to make a point, another crash was heard from the other side of their barricade as another chuck of cement fell to the ground.

“Well, not everyone is just bustling with creativity,” Milla chided.

“They could have been something other than sharks.” Sasha winced, touching the cut on his forehead. His fingers came away sticky red. “The lasers strapped to them are so cliché.”

“They’re patterned with the Bulgarian flag,” Milla pointed out kindly. “You don’t see that often.”

Sasha touched his forehead again, but it was hard to tell what he was thinking behind his sunglasses. “This might be real.”

“Of course, the pit of spikes covered with — ”

“Agent Vodello,” Sasha interrupted, wiping his fingers off on the ground, “have we by any chance left the subject’s mind?”

Milla snuck a peek out of their hiding place. “I see a sufficient amount of laser-suited sharks roaming about to verify that was are indeed still inside his head.” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “They must have very poor senses of smell if they haven’t found us yet. I wonder if there is a reason for that.”

Sasha frowned. “Then care to explain why I am bleeding so realistically?”

“Like I said, very realistic imagination?” she suggested, shrugging. “I recommend not getting hurt anymore, darling.”

“Such genuine injury takes a great amount of mental prowess,” Sasha was musing aloud, rubbing his gloved hands together. “Imagine, if we could take him back to camp, with a little training — ”

“Please, Sasha, let’s keep the plans for kidnapping children to a minimum at the moment, can we?” Milla laughed, leaning over and giving him a kiss on his forehead beside the bleeding cut. “Let’s focus on the task at hand.”

Before Sasha could reprimand her for anything, she hopped up over the concrete, luring the landsharks towards her with a whistle and a wave. Sasha sighed but stood up dutifully, taking time to carefully dust off his jacket. Best to look presentable while dealing with killer figments of people’s imaginations.

He scarcely had time to move before the concrete wedge they had been hiding behind exploded in a mess of rubble and red sparkles, courtesy of the nearest laser-wielding shark. Milla was a short distance away, maneuvering the attacking landsharks around so that they would eventually end up blasting each other to smithereens. The third shark stayed persistently on Sasha’s tail, deflecting psychic blasts with shots from its laser.

Now that really wasn’t fair, Sasha thought as he rolled out of the way of another sizzling red flare, beams deflecting other beams. But in a person’s head nothing even had to make sense, let alone be fair.

He finally caught the landshark by surprise, taking it out from behind with a quick blow. The creature disintegrated once destroyed, leaving only a mangled laser pack behind. Nein allowed himself a smile, but it was a brief one.

Turning around to see if Milla needed any assistance, he didn’t notice the final landshark looming up until it was too late.

Too late for him to do anything about it, at least. In the blink of an eye, Milla swooped in, grabbing Sasha and picking him up bridal style before levitating them both to safety out of range of the Bulgarian laser shark.

“You’re getting heavy, Agent Nein,” she told him affectionately.

Sasha stared up at the bubbly dancer. “You can put me down now.”

“I thought I told you to be more careful,” Milla went on cheerfully, ignoring Sasha’s request. “We don’t want you getting any more boo-boos.”

“Boo-boos…” Sasha repeated tonelessly, raising an eyebrow.

Milla smiled, nodding. “Right.” With that she let him stand gently beside her. “It might just be me, but that little landshark looks sort of angry.”

“Then perhaps we should put it out of its misery?” Sasha suggested, adjusting his now askew sunglasses.

“I like the way you think, Agent Nein,” Milla teased, squeezing Sasha’s shoulders comfortingly. “But we may have to talk about the repercussions of kidnapping children after this is done.”

Sasha smirked at her for a single second, and then they were off to demolish the final landshark.

The poor thing never had a chance.