bleach (ikkaku/kira)

[thejennabides.livejournal.com]

TITLE: Handle With Care
AUTHOR: Jenn Abiding
RATING: T
NOTES: I imagine this to be early post-Academy era, but feel free to read it however you like. Sincerest thanks to ponderosa121 and shayheyred for the betas; all remaining errors, flaws, and shortcomings are, of course, entirely mine.
PROMPT: Bleach, Ikkaku/Kira: taking it slow – "You in some kind of hurry?"



Ikkaku is watching Kira. He is watching because Kira wants him to, because Kira likes being watched, and he likes watching Ikkaku watch him. And of course, Ikkaku is watching Kira because he likes to; who doesn't?

Ikkaku has been watching Kira for weeks now, which is longer than some and not as long as others. Sooner or later, everyone watches Kira, even if only for the space of one long gaze, even if they don't appear to be looking at all.

Most nights, Ikkaku watches Kira until Kira leaves with someone. Not that he ever walks out with anyone; Kira walks out alone, and some time after he leaves, someone else will leave too. Sometimes everyone knows who is leaving with Kira, and sometimes everyone knows that someone has left with him but no one is quite sure who. Sometimes Kira leaves with the same someone for several consecutive nights, sometimes he leaves with someone he hasn't left with for months; sometimes he leaves with someone who has been watching him since first laying eyes upon him, sometimes he leaves with someone who has glanced his way for the very first time that night.

Ikkaku watches Kira leave.

It is nearly an hour before he realizes, with a nudge from Yumichika, that he is the one leaving with Kira tonight.



Ikkaku is looking at Kira.

Kira had been sitting on a low wall when Ikkaku left the bar, smoking one of the half-dozen cigarettes Ikkaku had seen him bum off various people throughout the evening. He had nodded to Kira as he passed. "Yo." He kept walking and heard the footsteps a moment later, a beat behind. He looked over, slowed enough to let Kira catch up, and they walked together for awhile, Ikkaku on the ground, Kira on the wall. Then Kira dropped his cigarette onto the ground, and when Ikkaku toed it, crushing the embers to ash, Kira came down off the wall, and Ikkaku went home with him.

Going home with Kira is pretty much what Ikkaku has imagined it would be - lots of kissing and touching and rubbing and licking and moaning and squeezing and twisting and writhing, up against the wall, half-naked and fully aroused; hard and fast kissing and touching, too hard, too fast, and Ikkaku tried to get Kira to slow down. And Kira did slow down, grinding his hips against Ikkaku in lazily deliberate circles, still hard. Slowed down just enough to begin whispering, "Fuck me, Madarame." Which was nice - but then Kira began to murmur in graphic detail exactly how he wanted Ikkaku to fuck him, the circular grinding becoming less lazy and more deliberate, stretching and arching against Ikkaku, throat exposed as his head tilted back and then came to Ikkaku's other ear to whisper more; Kira became more demanding and more yielding at the same time; and Ikkaku stepped back.

And now he is looking at Kira, and Kira is no longer dancefucking him but just looking back. Not just looking, actually; Kira's head is tilted, brow slightly knit, teeth pulling at a lower lip on the edge of a pout. Then Kira's chin comes up as he speaks:

"Do you see the words 'Fragile: Handle With Care' on me?"

Ikkaku looks at Kira, lets his gaze wander from Kira's face down his body, lingering on the musculature of his naked torso, exposed by the gi he has shrugged out of. "No," Ikkaku concedes, grinning as his eyes return to Kira's face, "I don't see those words on you."

"So what are you waiting for?" Kira demands. "Go on and fuck me!"

Ikkaku's not cool enough to hold back a grin; he barely restrains the carnal laughter blistering in his belly, managing to keep it to a low snort as it escapes. "I haven't seen all of you, though," he points out, arching one eyebrow to match the asymmetry of his grin.

With an exasperated sigh, Kira pushes himself off the wall and turns around to face it. He untucks his gi and slides it off his shoulders, lets it slope down his arms as it will. The material ripples with the unstudied flex of muscles as his hands work in front of him. The hakama falls to the floor, revealing sculpted legs up to mid-thigh. The gi caresses Kira's thighs and rides his arms with each revolution of the obi he is now unwinding. It's a steady striptease, Ikkaku notes with approval: deliberate and direct, no unnecessary swaying or gyrating, just the baring of flesh. The obi spirals down to pool with the hakama, and now Kira drops the gi more, catching it at the wrists with out-turned hands to give Ikkaku a good look at his back. As Ikkaku is admiring lines of his body, Kira bends, shouldering back into his gi and flipping it up to the side in one seemingly smooth movement, and Ikkaku finds all his attention on Kira's bare ass.

"Well?" Kira's voice breaks Ikkaku's concentration, and he glances up to find Kira looking over his shoulder expectantly.

"Well, what?"

Kira reaches behind and slaps himself on the ass. "Do you see the words?"

Ikkaku catches himself leaning forward with narrowed, focused eyes, like he's actually going to scan Kira's ass for a tattoo. He has to suppress a fresh burst of laughter. "No," he says, lingering on Kira's ass a moment longer before dragging his gaze up to meet Kira's eyes. "As far as I can tell, you don't have a 'fragile' tattoo."

"Okay then," Kira says triumphantly, as if that settles something. He lets the gi fall into place as he turns around, rewrapping and tying it loosely.

Ikkaku doesn't bother to ask Kira what he thinks has been settled, because he would have to play far dumber than he feels in order to come off oblivious on that count. Instead, he asks, "Didja just moon me as a seduction technique?"

"Did it work?" Kira asks, eyebrows arching hopefully.

"Not really," Ikkaku says, throwing in a shrug for good measure. He wonders if Kira notices how he has shifted his stance so the pleats of his hakama falls in discreet billows just so. They stand quietly looking at each other for so long that the hint of a pout creeps onto Kira's face, and Ikkaku isn't sure whether Kira is doing it purposefully or not. He can't help but grin, and the pout blossoms in response.

"Look," Kira sounds vexed, "are you going to fuck me or not?"

Ikkaku considers the question; tilts his head, looks Kira in the eye, and really thinks about it. "I might," he finally allows. "But look, Kira, if I do - and I'm only saying 'if,' you understand?" Kira nods and Ikkaku resumes, "If I do, I'm not gonna do any of those things you were just whispering in my ear."

"Why not, though? Didn't we just establish that I'm not going to break?"

"Yeah," Ikkaku replies, "but I'm not into that sort of thing."

Kira's lashes flick as he looks at Ikkaku; his lips part, but not enough for words before they close again. Then: "You're not?" he asks. Ikkaku shakes his head to affirm it. "But," Kira gestures at him openhanded, palm up, "look at you!"

"Look at you," Ikkaku counters. "And as we've just established, you aren't fragile and you're not breakable."

Kira's brow knits as he ponders this, the corner of his lower lip drawn between his teeth, and he looks so damned adorable it's all Ikkaku can do not to take those few steps forward and rub his thumb along the faint lines of tension to ease them.

"You're really not into rough stuff?" Kira asks a genuine question now.

Ikkaku shakes his head again. "I'm not."

"Oh," Kira says. His shoulders slump slightly.

"Are you?" Ikkaku asks curiously. "I mean, are you really, or were you only saying that because you thought I was?"

Kira gives a little shrug, a little smile, and there is a little flush in his face. "Um," he says, "yes, sort of. I am."

The embarrassment catches Ikkaku off-guard, and he's oddly charmed by it. "It's okay, y'know. I mean, it's nothing to feel shame about; not my thing, like I said, but it's okay if it's yours."

"Yeah," Kira says with another faint shrug, "I guess." His eyes go to his feet as he toes the floor. "Only..."

When Kira doesn't go on, Ikkaku prompts him, "Only?"

"Only," Kira looks up at him openly, all pretenses and playfulness dropped. "Only, would you want to be with someone who liked that? If, you know, if they said it didn't have to be that way with you? Because, you know, I don't have to have it that way all the time…" Again his voice trails off; again he chews his lip, again his brow knits earnestly.

Again, Ikkaku wants to move forward to ease the faint tension he sees there.

And this time he does.

He steps forward and reaches out, brushes the pad of his thumb over the wrinkles on Kira's forehead. At first deeper wrinkles form under his hand, but then Kira sighs and lets Ikkaku smooth them away, eyes closing at the luxury of the simple touch.

"Kira," Ikkaku asks after a few moments, brow furrowing as he narrows his eyes, "are you playing at this quieter self because you think it's a turn-on for me?"

Kira opens his eyes. "Is it a turn-on for you?"

With a half-grin and a slow blink of acknowledgment, Ikkaku admits that it is. Kira's wicked grin gives him away, and before Ikkaku can stop him Kira is kissing him again. When Ikkaku extricates himself from Kira's embrace this time, Kira merely regards him with mock sorrow. "Fine," he announces, going to retrieve a towel, "if we're not going to fuck, I'm going to have a bath."

"Okay," Ikkaku says agreeably, sitting himself on the desk and propping up his feet on the chair. Kira doesn't even spare him a glance on his way out the door.

Ikkaku waits awhile before finding the spare towel and slinging it over his shoulder.

Kira doesn't open his eyes when Ikkaku appears at the doorway, but neither does he startle when Ikkaku slips into the water. He cracks open one eye and grins before disappearing under the water line. He comes up, all smile and wet skin and sleek clinging hair, water running in rivulets where that hair drips onto his skin. His hands drip down his throat, down his chest, down over slick skin and defined muscle; then Ikkaku can't see Kira's hands anymore, but he knows they are still sliding down, down lower than Kira's belly…

"Hey now, don't," Ikkaku says as the first moan is vibrating up from Kira's throat.

Kira stops to look at him. "'Don't'?" he repeats, and it isn't just the water or the hair in his face that makes him squint slightly at Ikkaku. "Then what–?"

"I just want to watch you in the bath," Ikkaku says. "No performance."

"You just want to watch me sit in water?" Kira asks, and when Ikkaku nods and smiles, Kira smiles back with quirked eyebrows, shrugs and says, "If that's your thing."

Ikkaku grins again. "I have a theory about baths, see. You can learn the truth of a man's soul here," he says, stretching out. "The water opens him up, leaves him unguarded."

Kira eyes him. "That's your theory?"

Ikkaku feels some of the heat in his belly flood his face. "Yeah, well, maybe it wasn't mine to start with. It was a guy I knew in Rukongai."

"'A guy'?" Kira's eyebrows waggle suggestively. "A guy you used to take baths with?"

Ikkaku stares himself through his own flush this time like he doesn't feel it. "Yeah. Guy I used to fuck," he says, cutting through blush-inducing euphemism; he finds direct words far less embarrassing. He almost adds that the guy used to fuck him, too, but Ikkaku doesn't kiss and tell, and he's pretty sure Kira can figure that out on his own, anyhow. He holds the gaze, daring Kira to say it.

Instead, Kira says, "You're really not what I expected."

It's not the first time Ikkaku's gotten that response. Yumichika once asked him if he doesn't find it tiresome or at least annoying, but the truth is Ikkaku kind of loves it. Minorou called it kissing outside the lines, and maybe Ikkaku never really got the metaphor, but he gets the feeling and he gets the different kind of rush, the different kind of power that comes with it. He grins and shrugs now. "I don't fuck the way I fight."

"But you still want to open me up," Kira resumes with a tease, his tone matching the impish curve of his lips.

"Yeah."

Kira's smile softens as he looks at Ikkaku looking at him; Kira's smile changes but, Ikkaku notes, he doesn't look away.

"Okay." Kira blinks and shrugs, then his mouth quirks into a half-smile. There is still an element of performance as he stretches out again, but Ikkaku watches and waits.

And Kira does not disappoint him. "Should I - is it all right if I talk to you?" Kira asks after awhile. "I wouldn't normally be talking to you in the bath, because you wouldn't normally be here. But seeing as you are here, we may as well talk, right?"

So they talk. They talk about zanjutsu and hakuda and hohou, and they talk about the Gotei 13; they tell each other stories they both know about the history of Soul Society and legendary expeditions to the human world, and they tell stories the other didn't know; and they tell each other stories about themselves, too.

They've slipped into something more comfortable, more than comfortable by the time Kira looks, laughing, and sees the way Ikkaku is looking at him, undisguised and unguarded. Kira's eyes flicker, his smile fades and his mouth parts slightly.

He lets Ikkaku look at him; he watches Ikkaku look at him; and soon he is looking at Ikkaku, too.

"Can I kiss you?" Kira asks now. Ikkaku nods. Kira moves through the water, braces himself one-handed on the wall Ikkaku rests against, and leans in; Ikkaku's lips part for his tongue, allow and admit him but don't join or respond. Kira pulls back and looks at Ikkaku uncertainly, but Ikkaku just smiles. Kira relaxes again and smiles in understanding, pleased that Ikkaku is playing with him now. "Can I kiss you again?" Kira asks, and Ikkaku nods again. "If I kiss you again, will you kiss back?" This time Ikkaku shakes his head. "Okay," Kira says, smiling and kissing Ikkaku anyhow. This time Kira accepts the invitation fully, his tongue licking and probing in exploration of every curve and crevice of Ikkaku's mouth.

Cupping Ikkaku's face, Kira breaks the kiss to ask, "Can I touch you here?" Ikkaku nods his consent. Kira traces Ikkaku's jawline, under his chin to his throat. "Can I touch you here?" he asks, and when Ikkaku again nods, Kira's fingertips trail down to rest in the hollow of his throat. "Here?" he asks, caressing Ikkaku's collarbone now, and again receiving permission. Looking from Ikkaku's face to where his fingers are touching Ikkaku, Kira lets his hand slide down to Ikkaku's chest. "Can I listen to your heart?" Kira asks, and Ikkaku nods once more. So Kira bends, shifts and settles himself so that his head is resting on Ikkaku's chest.

He shifts more, slides his arms around Ikkaku beneath the water, and listens to Ikkaku's heart; Ikkaku feels Kira's breathing sliding into the heart's rhythm.

"Kira?" Ikkaku says, and Kira slips out of the rhythm, starts to pull away. "Nah, you're all right there," Ikkaku tells him, and Kira settles back. "Just wanted to know if I could do this," Ikkaku says, lifting his hand to stroke Kira's hair.

Kira sighs, holds Ikkaku in a tighter embrace for a moment, then releases him as he kneels back. "Is that all you want?" There is no trace of coyness in his tone, no batting of eyelashes. "Is there anything you want?"

Ikkaku looks at Kira, watches his face, and sees something that makes him say, "Breathe into me." Kira leans in to press his open mouth to Ikkaku's, hands cupping the back of Ikkaku's neck. But when Kira's tongue slips in, Ikkaku moves back a fraction. "No, Kira; breathe. Just breathe."

Kira looks into his eyes, and Ikkaku looks back.

Then Kira moves forward again, rests his lips against Ikkaku's, opens his mouth with Ikkaku's, and closes his eyes. It is strange at first, and he has to concentrate on not moving his mouth, keeping his lips and tongue still, keeping his whole body still, water drifting around them, damp air flowing over and around and between them. Kira's hands are still curled at the back of Ikkaku's neck, and now Ikkaku's hands come up to cradle the backs of Kira's arms, resting too lightly for support, just enough for comfort.

It is strange at first. And then it becomes strangely familiar.

Gone lightheaded, Kira slides his mouth from Ikkaku's; Ikkaku feels Kira's hands drop from him as his own drop from Kira. Faces downturned, only their foreheads touch now.

The water is still warm when Kira tilts his face up, breathes, just breathes. Moves into Ikkaku, open to Ikkaku, opening Ikkaku... and breathes.

Comments

[thehoyden.livejournal.com]

I love this - Ikkaku with his layers, not at all who Kira had been expecting - just fabulous. And I love Kira here, too - a post-Academy Kira who's accustomed to getting what he asks for, and smart enough to figure out what Ikkaku might want, even if he's not to sure about it. And best of all, I like that everyone looks at Kira, but Ikkaku might be the first one who actually sees - thank you for posting this!

[thejennabides.livejournal.com]

Oh, yay! I'm very pleased (and relieved!) that you enjoyed this.

And best of all, I like that everyone looks at Kira, but Ikkaku might be the first one who actually sees

I had another line at one point, meant to imply that there was someone who watched and never did anything about it (meant to be Gin). But I axed it because it felt like I would have to fix this more firmly at a specific point in time to deal with the hierarchy and implications of the watching, and that doing that would shift the focus to the Gin/Kira dynamic in an unnecessary and distracting way. This makes me feel like I made the right decision there, so I'm especially happy you liked that aspect. ♥

[lostremnant.livejournal.com]

I really like what you did with Ikkaku here. A much more complex and nuanced interpretation of him than one usually sees. And the way the two men interacted was just lovely.

[thejennabides.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much! This was my first time writing Ikkaku, so I'm especially pleased you liked him.

[peroxidepest17.livejournal.com]

♥

[thejennabides.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *lil muskrit grin*

[ravenbell.livejournal.com]

I really like the pacing, and the way the dialogue just flows... Bravo.

[thejennabides.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! :)

[truly-wished.livejournal.com]

And a year later, I wander along. This is a really gorgeous piece, very soothing to read. Still very sensual but a nice look at a strong Kira and the layers that Ikkaku shows from time to time.

[thejennabides.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! "Soothing to read" is perhaps the loveliest response I could imagine to this story, which I like to think of as not so much taming as rechanneling energy. This is the only time I've written Ikkaku and my betas had to work pretty hard to keep me on track there, so I'm especially pleased you liked his characterization.

Thanks again for reading and taking the time to comment.

[truly-wished.livejournal.com]

Ikkaku is a great character and so fun to write. I adore him and Kira, BIG fan *L* But it was a gorgeous piece and I'm glad you wrote it.

[kerumica.livejournal.com]

This was a really sweet story for this pairing. They are steadily becoming one of my favorites. Thank you for sharing :)

[thejennabides.livejournal.com]

Very happy you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.