Bleach (Byakuya/Renji)

[misura.livejournal.com]

Title: The One Where Renji Thinks (Instant Headache but Sex Anyway)
Author: misura
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mentionings of Renji>Rukia
Summary: Rukia'd smack him, Renji thinks. Byakuya'd just slice him into tiny parts and write a poem about cherry-blossoms. (They are, in other words, not alike.)


It occurs to Renji (midswing, so a little late) that perhaps this is because of Rukia. Not in the sense of 'you, bastard, you /dare/ lust after my sister-by-adoption!' which might have been kind of true, a long time ago, in a world far, far away from here, and definitely not in the sense of 'you like my sister better than me, so I'm going to beat the snot out of you now' because although Byakuya is guilty of pride, it's not /that/ kind of pride. Perhaps also, Renji just thinks this is about Rukia because so many things are.

Still, dodging one of Byakuya's attacks that he might call 'half-hearted' if it hadn't been for the fact that Renji's depressingly aware that Byakuya's holding back by a lot more than half, Renji thinks he's right. This, too, is about Rukia. His childhood friend. Byakuya's adopted sister. The shame of the Kuchiki family. She who has been condemned to die.

Byakuya doesn't seem to care about that. Over the past few days, Renji has made it abundantly clear that he does care, that he doesn't care who knows he cares, and that he thinks that everyone who doesn't care is a moron. This last category includes Byakuya. Probably.

Renji's honestly tried, looking for that tiny hint that will tell him Byakuya shares his opinion, or is at least a little upset at the prospect of Rukia dying (being executed, even) but so far, he's been unsuccessful, and he doesn't yet know for sure if it's because the hints aren't there, or because he can't see them. Rukia has always been the better observer of the two of them, the one to see things coming.

Maybe, who knows, he's doing this wrong. Maybe he shouldn't look for tiny hints; maybe this, the here and now, with Byakuya dispassionately trying to gut him, is the biggest hint he could ask for. If it is, Renji wants someone to explain it to him. Preferably Rukia.

It has been a while since they've last practiced together like this, and although Renji would like to believe he's gotten a little better, that Byakuya's holding back a little less, he still knows how this is going to end. He doesn't know what it will /mean/ though - what it means that Byakuya will be able to kill him or injure him and refrains, or what it means that Byakuya will have sex with him here, but nowhere else. Perhaps it's a Kuchiki-thing. Perhaps Rukia could tell him.

Byakuya's not oblivious, Renji knows. It seems reasonable, therefore, to suppose that this sudden desire (decision?) of his to show Renji who's the better swordsman of the two of them has something to do with Rukia, and Renji's feelings about her. The question being, naturally, what Byakuya's goal is.

He might be telling Renji it's senseless to fight for Rukia, since he'll only end up getting himself killed. (Renji had figured out as much, although he's hoping someone else will show up, to help.) He might be offering Renji a chance to vent his frustrations, to keep him from doing something stupid like challenging the next captain who's smug at him about Rukia's upcoming execution. (Renji's not suicidal though; he's smarter than that.) He might be trying to forget about his own grief by - naw.

Renji's sword goes flying. He watches it go stupidly, unbelievingly. Byakuya usually makes these occasions last a little, to teach Renji a few new tricks.

"You're not concentrating," Byakuya accuses, his sword in a perfect position to skewer Renji. His voice sounds level though. He doesn't sound like he's happy with Renji, but he's not snapping either.

"I've got a lot of my mind," Renji says, or rather /reminds/ him. "Are you really going to just stand by and let them execute Rukia?" If he'd still been holding a sword, Renji knows, he'd never have been this reckless, but Byakuya's not the sort of man who attacks those who are unarmed, no matter the provocation, and Renji wants to know rather badly.

"What I do is my own business," Byakuya says coolly. "You are free to do as you want, as long as you are aware of the consequences your actions might have."

It's much more of a concession than Renji had expected. He feels fairly certain that if they hadn't been alone here, Byakuya wouldn't have given him this much rope - to hang himself with, possibly, but then, what's life without a little danger and the guts to stand up for what you believe in?

"All right. Can I go get my sword now?" Renji asks.

Byakuya nods, curtly. "You still have a lot to learn," he tells Renji's back.

Renji's tempted to reply 'and not a lot of time' but that would be pushing it. Byakuya has said what he wanted to say, and it's up to Renji what to do with it, just like it's up to Renji to decide what to do about Rukia. Byakuya's not going to do it for him - although Renji knows that one decision he can make might end with him facing Byakuya in a fight that won't end with their having sex.

Byakuya might be giving Renji a choice, but his own has already been made, and it's not to save Rukia no matter what it might cost him. Renji picks up his sword and makes an attempt to get pissed off, to hate Byakuya for being so passive, so controlled. He doesn't succeed entirely, although he spots a glimpse of approval in Byakuya's gaze as Renji comes close to actually drawing blood.

Somehow, their duel ends up taking longer than the sex that time, and afterwards, when Byakuya's making sure his clothes are all neat and proper again, and not at all crumpled and dirty like he's just picked them off the floor, Renji hands him one of his hairclips and asks: "Can we do this again tomorrow?"

Byakuya looks a little surprised, then a little disapproving, then resigned. All he says is "If there's time, I don't see why not," though, making Renji wish again that Rukia was here.

Ah well, if he rescues her, she'd better be grateful enough to give him all the help in figuring out her big brother that he wants. And if he doesn't, it probably won't matter anymore because he'll be dead.

Clearly, he just can't lose if he tries to save Rukia.