bleach (byakuya/renji)

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

title: ...and put your hair down
author: meretricula
rating: pg-13
word count: 334
summary: Renji has a question. Byakuya may have an answer.

"Yo, taichou!"

Kuchiki Byakuya turned when he heard Renji's voice, slurred with alcohol though it was, calling him. That was his first mistake.

"Can I help you, Abarai-kun?" he asked politely and coldly.

Renji stumbled over. His former associates from the eleventh division were gathered outside the bar where they must have entered into their drunken state, cat-calling and shouting encouragement. Byakuya refused to be intimidated by such riff-raff and stood his ground. That was the second.

"Yeah, taichou, so, y'see, it's kinda like this. Me'n the guys, we was wonderin'. Ya know. So this is kinda a bet. Shit. Yeah, I didn't say that. Not allowed t' tell ya."

"The point, Abarai-kun," Byakuya reminded him, rather than looking around for a convenient horse trough in which he could either drown his inebriated subordinate or sober him up. That was his third.

"Right. Th' point. Uh. So, y'know, your hair-curlers? Ya ever take 'em out, put on a nice dress, go out an' party?"

Byakuya looked at Renji. The red-haired shinigami could clearly only just barely stand. A grammatically complex response might short-circuit what few working brain cells he had left. So Byakuya took pity on him. That was the fourth mistake, but no one ever counts past three anyway. "I do not need to 'go out' in order to party," Byakuya replied calmly. "But if you come home with me, I will show you my nicest dress."

"Thass... uh. Tha'd be real uh. I'd 'ppreciate tha'." Renji's eyes glazed over and a stupid grin spread across his face, just before he swayed one last time and fell on his ass. Byakuya sighed, picked him up, and carried him back to the Kuchiki townhouse. Renji wouldn't remember anything in the morning, anyway. And if he did...

Well, then maybe Byakuya would show him the pretty floral-patterned kimono he'd kept when it had turned out to be too long for Hisana. Maybe. A Kuchiki kept his promises... most of the time.

Comments

[0x.livejournal.com]

lulz!

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

XD

[ravenbell.livejournal.com]

Squeee!! The mental images are too awesome!

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

I can hardly wait to see the art version. =)

[veleda-k.livejournal.com]

Ahaha! Fantastic.

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

hehe, thanks!

[moffit.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

=D

[animadri.livejournal.com]

Hee! Oh my. Renji falling on his ass and Byakuya wanting to model for him. *G*

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

if I owned Bleach, this would totally happen all the time.

[iapetusneume.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, taichou, so, y'see, it's kinda like this. Me'n the guys, we was wonderin'. Ya know. So this is kinda a bet. Shit. Yeah, I didn't say that. Not allowed t' tell ya."

...I think that was my favorite line. XD This whole fic is wonderful, and what a way to start off the posting! So much love. ♥

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

thank you! I was afraid I might be making his drunken slur a little too thick. ^^;;

[gamera.livejournal.com]

This is so funny, and Renji and Byakuya are spot-on. Great job. *g*

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

thank you! =)

[misura.livejournal.com]

Squee! Loved reading this - Byakuya's calm detachment (even while he makes mistake after mistake) and Renji's drunken cheerfulness made for such a wonderful combination. The way you got both their voices down was very wow-inspiring, too, although my favorite line would have to be:

A grammatically complex response might short-circuit what few working brain cells he [Renji] had left.

*very wide grin*

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

hehe, thank you! I think that's my favorite line, too. ByaRen ftw!

[chloevien.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahaha..........*laughing with my sister*
Thank you for this:) Lots of love for you...

xxx
Chloevien

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

thank you, to you and your sister! I'm glad you liked it!

[momebie.livejournal.com]

*dies and is dead* Byakuya's such a priss. ♥♥♥

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

ah, but that's why we love him so. =)

[bunnysquee.livejournal.com]

*crying with laughter* this is SO renji!

love it! thank you for writing and sharing!

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

thank you! poor Renji though... XP

[bunnysquee.livejournal.com]

byakuya is going to wear his nicest dress for renji - i won't call him 'poor'!!!

renji calling byakuya's kenseikan 'hair curlers' is just perfect!

i just re-read this and it's still all sorts of funny!

[blackballoon.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha! XD

[atanih88.livejournal.com]

LOL, so sweet <3

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

thank you! =)

[fouloldron.livejournal.com]

XD BRILLIANT!!! XD
I love it.
Thank you. XD

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

haha, thank you! =D