Hot Chocolate (Final Fantasy IX, Vivi, PG)

[syvia.livejournal.com]

Title: Hot Coffee Chocolate
Author/Artist: syvia
Rating: NC-17 PG
Warnings: Actually... none. ;p
Word Count: 799
Summary: Vivi, angst, and why things feel good when they aren't.
Author’s Notes: I know what you’re thinking. *sly wink* No, the fic really is PG. Seriously. Other than that, I’d like to thank the_unquietmind for acting as my beta. I somehow doubt this was what my prompter wanted- but I hope they like it anyway.
Prompt: - Final Fantasy IX, Vivi: magic as a sex aid - "fire and ice and lightning"



"It's like hot chocolate," Eiko said decisively.

Vivi blinked.

"Yes it is!" she insisted, as if he were arguing with her. "Like you're holding an empty cup in your hands and someone's pouring hot chocolate into it- and it fills and fills and fills, and then the cup is all warm and toasty. Only you're the cup, and hot chocolate is the magic and it fills you up until it runs over and you have to cast the spell!" Thus explained, the child summoner nodded her small head (almost knocking Vivi's hat off with her horn) and bounced away.

Vivi fixed his hat and took another direction, eventually stopping at one of the many low stone walls running all over Madain Sari. He made sure he was alone, and sat down.

Maybe it was different for white mages... or girls... or... humans. Vivi didn't know why, but he knew it was- and it wasn't like hot chocolate. It was like fire- even when he cast for ice, it was liquid and heat and thick, churning waves. It wasn't something that made you feel good, it was something that could hurt you, burn you up and leave nothing behind. If magic was... lava... then he was... a volcano? That... sounded right.

It was horrible. He didn't want to hurt anything. Not people like him, or people like Dagger or Freya or anyone- not even the monsters that kept attacking them whenever they took a walk outside.

But he was a volcano. He was full of lava- magic- and he couldn't help it when it poured... no, bubbled, up and more and higher until it made waves from the top of his head to the tips of his fingers and the pads of his toes, until he couldn't hold it anymore and all he could do was let it go- burst from his hands and leave him trembling as it left him. Heat and sensation and magic and power and it... it....

It felt good, and it felt awful.

Maybe he could ask the other Black Mages... maybe they'd know what he meant. Some of them were wise, like his Grandpa had been.

Thinking about it made him sigh.

He didn't want to ask- not detailed- not with enough words to explain exactly how it felt. He didn't think any of them would do what Zidane had done the night Vivi made the mistake of asking why he thought about girls all the time.

Vivi would have been happier not learning so much about sex.

He wondered if Zidane was just making some of it up. Vivi didn't really think a person was... physically able... to do some of it. Their bodies might snap in two.

He'd asked, horrified and yet curious, why Zidane did it.

His friend had answered with a grin that Freya would have smacked him for, if Zidane hadn't waited till she wasn't looking, "Because it feels amazing."

He knew enough to know that sex made babies, or eggs and then babies. Grandpa had told him that when Vivi had asked, and asked, and asked, where he'd come from.

So sex felt good... so people would do it more often... and have babies.

Vivi pulled his feet onto the wall and hugged his arms around his knees.

Magic felt good... so he and the other Black Mages would cast more often... and... and....

He buried his face in his raised knees, felt his hat tilt upward a little. He knew who made him, and why he was made, and it made horrible sense that magic would be a thing that was made to feel good... so his people would want to... kill... more.

Zidane said sex was something people got lost in- it felt so good that they couldn't think, couldn't stop, had to finish it or they'd go nuts and... magic felt like that when he was just about to cast... when he Tranced. Vivi clutched his legs harder and clenched his jaw. He didn't want to lose himself like that. He didn't ever, ever want to like his magic that much- but the more he learned, the harder it was not to want it. It felt good, he enjoyed it, but he didn't go out looking for more things to hurt... but Thundara felt so much better than Thunder.

He couldn't help but wonder what Thundaga would feel like....

He didn't want to like it- almost didn't want to get better or learn more powerful spells.

But he had to help his friends. He had to protect them.

Maybe... maybe once they were done, he could go live with the other Black Mages. He could put his staff way way in the back of a closet.

Maybe... he'd even be able to leave it there.

Comments

[threewalls]

That's a very interesting comparison between sex and magic, and seems very apt for Vivi and the fears he has about what he is and what he's for.

[syvia.livejournal.com]

Thanks. ^^

[raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com]

Oh, Vivi... *cuddles him*

[syvia.livejournal.com]

Oh ditto. He should be hugged- often and for long stretches of time. :( Poor sensitive doomsday-child/weapon. ;_;

^^ Thanks for the review~.

[eerian_sadow]

this is incredible! the whole tone was so sad, but you wrote it so beautifully.

i also loved the comparison between sex and magic; it seemed to go very well.

so incredible...

[syvia.livejournal.com]

Thank you! ^^ I wanted to do him justice. As cute as it is, FFIX is mostly gloom and doom and beautifully portrayed angst. *spoken like the fangirl she is*

It seemed like it would fit. :3 It was also the first thing I thought of, as my mind veered away from the thought of Vivi actually having sex. XD

Thanks. :)

[lazzchan.livejournal.com]

Oooh, such a lovely tone for Vivi and it's juat beautiful.

and ROFL at Zidane. XD

[syvia.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon! XD I try to be nice to the tragic characters- or in this case, the bittersweet ones. ^^

XD Zidane is funny~. A nice guy (really!) but a guy, in the unfortunate sense of the word.

[solitaryjane.livejournal.com]

Awwwwww.

I love Vivi.

[syvia.livejournal.com]

^^ Me too~. I think FF fans, even if they didn't particularly like IX, still loved Vivi.

Thanks for the review. :D

[aya1412.livejournal.com]

Awwwwww! Poor Vivi!

[syvia.livejournal.com]

Yeah. :(

Thanks for the review! ^^

[emerald-embers.livejournal.com]

Ever since I saw you take up this prompt I'd been DYING to see how you made it tasteful, and I love you for managing that. Oh *Vivi*, I want to cuddle and squish you into tiny pieces, you adorable, adorable little thing.

Just, oh! And so much love to the other characters for being *in* character - but special love for getting Vivi right. *tacklecuddleshim*!

[syvia.livejournal.com]

*huggles* ^^ You know me and my inability to write PWP so well~. Yeaaaaah, it was always going to be metaphorical, or something about him creating his sons. XD And I felt a little bad for that- (the prompt seemed to want him to have sexins) but oh. well.

Yes. :( Vivi needs to be hugged, repeatedly and for long periods of time.

XD Thank you, hon!