incandescens: (incandescens)
[personal profile] incandescens posting in [community profile] kinkfest
Title: legal innuendo
Author/Artist: [livejournal.com profile] incandescens
Rating: G
Warnings: Suggestive.
Word count: 515
Prompt: February 26 - Phoenix Wright, Phoenix/Edgeworth: courtroom innuendo - "Edgeworth's finger wasn't the only thing pointing dramatically."


"Tsk," Edgeworth said, his finger inclining gently. "Tsk tsk, Mr Wright."

Phoenix leaned forward, his eyes on Edgeworth's throat.

"I would like to compliment the defense," Edgeworth said, turning to the rest of the court, "on how well he has illustrated the problem with his case. For if, as he says, he is ready to prove that the defendant is not only innocent but that the murderer is in fact the main witness for the prosecution who has so far demonstrated absolutely no connection with the case --"

"Nick," Maya whispered urgently. "You're salivating."

"Hungry for the kill," Phoenix muttered, watching the slow rise and fall of Edgeworth's ruffles.

"And your hands are all tight on the edge of the desk."

"I'm just waiting for the right moment to pounce."

"And you're breathing all funny."

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix screamed, his hand rising uncontrollably into the air.

A silence filled the court. "What is your objection, Mr Wright?" the judge asked.

"I object to my assistant interrupting me," Phoenix snarled, "when I am trying to give my full attention to the prosecutor."

Edgeworth tossed his head and gave a graceful bow. "I am complimented by my colleague's . . . attention."

"My attention is all yours," Phoenix agreed. "I think it is absolutely vital that I hear every single part of your . . . argument."

"Oh," Edgeworth purred, "I think of it more as a statement of fact."

"Then state it!" Phoenix growled, leaning forward, his hands clutching the edge of his table. "Let me hear every word of it. Let me prove totally, absolutely, exactly, how much your proposition proposes to --"

"Objection!" Edgeworth cut in. "You are suggesting that my case is --"

"Hold it!" Phoenix snapped. "Your case is as dubious as your . . . your . . ."

Edgeworth spread his hands. "As my imputations?"

"HOLD IT!" Phoenix panted for breath. "Don't you impute at me."

"I'll impute as I wish," Edgeworth drawled. "And every word will be a blade that cuts away a layer of your -- your case."

"Ha!" Phoenix snorted. "As if. I'll reduce you to your knees and have you begging for mercy."

"You may try," Edgeworth sneered, "but I promise that you will be the one who is reduced to naked pleading in front of me, helpless to refute my facts."

"And your facts are?"

"Prominent." Edgeworth fingered his cravat and let his fingers trail down his jacket. "And I propose to show you all of them."

The judge's gavel nearly broke through his desk. "Mr Edgeworth! Mr Wright! If you have any facts relating to the matter at hand, I insist that you display them now!"

Phoenix and Edgeworth exchanged glances.

"Requesting a ten-minute recess for urgent fact-checking, sir," Phoenix suggested.

"Request is supported by the prosecution," Edgeworth added.

"Oh, very well," the judge sighed. "But I would like to point out that this is the third one so far in this trial."

"Really?" Phoenix said, with his best innocent look. "I guess my mouth just runs away with me sometimes, sir."

Date: 2008-02-26 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaina.livejournal.com
*GLEE*

Date: 2008-02-26 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] syvia.livejournal.com
*lmao* XDD

Date: 2008-02-26 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] riyu-riya.livejournal.com
Hee hee. I love it. "Don't you impute at me!"

Date: 2008-02-26 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veleda-k.livejournal.com
I don't even know this fandom, and I am still filled with utter joy.

Date: 2008-02-26 01:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] n-finitefangirl.livejournal.com
VERY worth playing, I assure you! *has all three, is considering getting Apollo Justice during Spring Break*

Date: 2008-02-26 01:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] n-finitefangirl.livejournal.com
*is desperately trying not to laugh so loudly that she could be heard upstairs* Oh, this is wonderful! Simply wonderful! I LOVE how our favorite lawyers could use such legal terms for subtle flirting while on the job! <3

Date: 2008-02-26 02:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] andremeese.livejournal.com
I don't know the fandom terribly well, but I think I'd like to get to know it better! I'm an attorney in a mock trial coming up soon, and I found this adorable! I'll have to try a loud, dramatic OBJECTION! at some point in my trial!

Date: 2008-02-26 03:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com
...OMGYAYILOVEYOUANDWILLGLADLYHAVEYOURBABIES.

*expires, a happy prompter*

Date: 2008-02-26 04:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleflink.livejournal.com
Hee. Too funny - and I could just see them flinging 'accusations' at each other across the breadth of the courtroom while Maya sits there face-palming.

(Gotta feel kinda bad for their clients though... unless of course they're fangirls and then I'm sure they wouldn't mind the case going into a second day). :)

Date: 2008-02-26 06:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lillypuff.livejournal.com
Oh, this was fantastic, loved it even though, as others have said, I don't know the fandom at all!

Date: 2008-02-26 07:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liralen.livejournal.com
*falls over giggling*

I *love* the language they used. Wow.

Date: 2008-02-26 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liralen.livejournal.com
Ahhh!! *runs around to find a DS and the GAME the GAME!*

Ahem. I believe you. Totally.

I also have to say that I *LOVED* the last line...

Date: 2008-02-26 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lazzchan.livejournal.com
I'm absolutely rolling with laughter here. XDDD

Date: 2008-02-26 08:50 am (UTC)
threewalls: threewalls (Default)
From: [personal profile] threewalls
*g*

Date: 2008-02-26 12:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janegray.livejournal.com
This? Awesome

Date: 2008-02-26 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] akatonbo.livejournal.com
This is the best story of its kind I have read, and it is likely to remain so. XD

Date: 2008-02-27 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-ganesh.livejournal.com
Hahahahahahahaha. I love this.

Date: 2008-02-27 03:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] juin.livejournal.com
SO MUCH WIN. ♥

Date: 2008-02-27 03:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aviss.livejournal.com
God, this is great! You had me choking at some points, so funny!

Date: 2008-02-29 04:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltedpin.livejournal.com
Hee! Oh, that was great :D I was laughing out loud XD

Date: 2008-06-28 04:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starherd.livejournal.com
That is unbelievably, totally, wonderfully so close to canon. ♥ good job :-D

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