[identity profile] syvia.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] kinkfest
Title: Kshanti
Author/Artist: [livejournal.com profile] syvia
Rating: R
Warnings: Spoilers for DDS2, adult language.
Word Count: 1321
Summary: This isn't Nirvana, but for the moment, there is peace.
Prompt: Digital Devil Saga, Heat/Roland: Waiting for the rest of the tribe to reach the sun - "Wanna blowjob?"



They arrived nearly in tandem, so Argilla was there as he touched down. She stared and she whispered.

"Is this Nirvana, at last?"

Roland followed her gaze and found an AI he remembered from the files. One he knew better from Argilla's soft narratives and his comrade moved forward, reaching without thought for Jinana's welcoming smile. He turned and winced, which seemed to make Greg-no-Lupa, smile. But maybe it was Greg- or maybe it was both- because he didn't give Roland time to turn and bolt.

Fuck, he thought as that tall, familiar but not, figure came forward and set a hand on his shoulder. Behind Greg/Lupa, he saw faces he knew- Lokapala, looking a bit sheepish. This can't be heaven, or I'd have a scotch right now.


He got the sense they were waiting for something.

When he joked- only once- that maybe this was limbo or purgatory, they all stared at him with faces gone absolutely blank.

Lupa shook his head. "You could not be farther from the truth, old friend."


Argilla hadn't stopped smiling for the last two... well, he had some kind of resting periods, but he realized they probably weren't 'days' as he was used to the term.

Roland thought he knew why until she'd turned to him with an expression so purely and contently joyful that he stared. He'd never seen such a look on her face.

He must have seemed confused because her smile widened.

"Serph isn't here."

Roland blinked- and understood.

He shared her smile.


Heat was next and he brought news for Argilla alone. She was part of his Tribe and the rest weren't. He gave Lupa and Jinana a nod, Roland nothing at all, and kept to himself.

Later Argilla shared and Roland learned the others were still alive- Serph was with them and they were strong. Not safe- no one on the Earth was safe- but they were trying to fix things and according to Heat, they'd 'kicked his ass'. Roland knew enough about his comrades to know that if there was a solution, Embryon wouldn't stop until they either won or came here to join them.

But for Fred, and vaguely for the other humans left, Roland couldn't find the second prospect so terrible.


He still thought this was limbo, but he had no idea what they were waiting for. He had no idea why they were the only ones there- them and a few others who were even less substantial and although he exchanged a nod with them from time to time, less social than Heat. Adil didn't like him.

Roland found comfort that at least some things didn't change.

He thought it was limbo because it was so peaceful- peaceful despite the lasting, unavoidable presence of Indra within him. His demon... shouldn't it have left him, if this were heaven?

Peaceful despite the increased pulse of the Solar Noise. He wasn't hungry although he felt, sometimes, as if he could eat. He could have sunk into Indra and felt the transformation but he no longer knew to be afraid that it could take him over. He was oddly contented in a way alcohol had never given him.

But he was still waiting and he had no idea why.


"There's still work to do."

He didn't flinch, because Indra's attention had shifted to Agni and Roland had felt Heat walking over to him. He still felt surprised at the Embryon's attention- the apple-fire-blood-red eyes studying him as Gale's had more than once. Like he was something to be put under a microscope... or on a spit. He didn't take it personally. According to Adil, Roland had done the exact same thing after being infected. You don't necessarily mean to look at everyone like food, but it's just... the way it is.

He was used to the hunger too. It wasn't something the Asuras got rid of. It was a demon thing. You got over it, or you kept twitching.

Roland didn't twitch so much anymore.

"I suppose so."

"I guess you did it better than me," Heat looked away from him, fixed his half-gloves before putting his hands on his hips.

"They needed more men," Roland murmured.

"I wasn't there," he muttered.

No, he hadn't been, but had Roland wanted to say so, he still wouldn't have. From everything Argilla and the others had told him, Heat didn't take criticism well. He didn't take sympathy either, or Roland would have said it wasn't his fault.

"You were," Heat said after that.

Roland shrugged, mocked himself with his smile, "I needed to feel like I was doing something useful."

Heat slapped his arm, over the bright orange of his left sleeve. "Looks good on you."

Roland felt like a kid who'd been told yes, the girl he liked would go on a date with him, and how did Saturday sound? He tried not to embarrass himself grinning like one.


Just like that, the ice had thawed between them- which was ironic when he thought about it. Heat's atma being fire and his own being lightning. Heat was not icy. He kept to himself at times, but he was never cold, seemed incapable of it.

He became less standoffish although not more talkative. When Roland stood close to Argilla and said nothing, sharing presence, Heat would move toward them. There was comfort, without touch or words. Sometimes the others would close in and there they were, souls, or minds, or whatever it was that they had become, in harmony. Peace.

Still.


"You're more like me."

"Hmm?"

Heat fixed his gloves, although Roland couldn't see any change in the way they wrapped over his hands. It must have been reflex- habit, like Gale's finger-slide up the line of his nose to adjust non-existent glasses.

"Waiting. Pisses you off."

He did feel the need to fidget more often than Argilla or Jinana, or Lupa. Argilla seemed to spend a great deal of time with Jinana. Roland didn't particularly want to talk with Lupa, which the Asura-that-might-have-been-Greg seemed to respect. Jinana and Lupa had been here longer regardless- and if they'd felt restless, had gotten used to it.

"I'm not the most patient person, no," Roland murmured.

Heat grunted, turned and walked away.


Roland thought nothing of that, or any of the other equally companionable, but random, conversations they had afterward.

He did take notice the day Argilla put a hand on his back and leaned in.

"He's rough, but he doesn't stop until his comrade is satisfied as well."

Roland gave a slow blink and didn't turn his head when he looked at her.

"Still, none of us have ever put anything into Heat's mouth that we were afraid of losing."

He tried to think of something to say to that- opened his mouth to encourage speech and was slightly displeased when nothing came out.

She smiled without showing her teeth.

Roland decided it was better that he hadn't spoken.

He probably would have stuttered.


He'd walked in on Gale and Cielo amusing themselves- or rather, Cielo amusing himself and dragging Gale along for the ride.

He'd seen the whole of Embryon giving comfort in an enormous pile of mutually satisfied bodies.

He'd seen Serph and Argilla writhing, half human and half demon, and watched them embrace afterwards, rose-pink and cloud-white eyes shedding loss.

He'd woken from a daze of hunger and insanity to wonder what he'd done, then decide he didn't want to know why he felt so lazy and worn-out yet fucking amazing because he suspected fucking was the key word.

He'd indulged Gale's belief that he needed to relax and release tension more than once- only the first time with dubious consent.

Thus, although he was still surprised when he felt Heat's breath on his neck. He didn't flinch when he heard-

"Wanna blowjob?"

His lips curled slightly and he said, quite calmly.

"No. But you can fuck me."

Date: 2008-06-02 04:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qara-isuke.livejournal.com
Lacking anything smart to say to this at the moment, besides:

AWESOME.

Just you wait, I will squeal at you later about how awesome this is. ♥

Date: 2008-06-02 11:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mithrigil.livejournal.com
The comment about Heat fixing his gloves = GENIUS.

Date: 2008-06-02 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] belladonna12.livejournal.com
O.O *Requester of this fine piece.* I love it! 8Huggles you.* It just works and it's good and I love Heat noticing that he and Roland both HATE waiting for something to happen... *Babbling.* Anyway, thankies! *Huggles you again.*

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