Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside (Bleach, Rukia/Renji, G)

[incandescens]

Title: Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside
Author/Artist: incandescens
Rating: G
Warnings: None particular
Word count: 542
Prompt: June 3rd - Bleach, Renji/Rukia: on vacation--"I'm not wearing that thing"


Nii-sama,

I hope that you are having nice weather and that work is not being too troublesome.

Thank you for sending your good wishes. The vacation is going very well indeed. Renji has not been a burden at all except occasionally, and he has responded very well indeed to having this pointed out, and has promised to do better in future.

We had a lovely time yesterday while we were shopping on the beach promenade. I had just been looking at the latest Chappy merchandise for a few minutes (please ignore Renji if he says otherwise, he exaggerates vilely) when I noticed a yukata which I thought would be just the thing for Renji. You know how he always hangs around the Division in that white-and-pink thing which doesn't go with his hair at all. So I had just come across this really starkly elegant one in spring green and peacock blue with crimson borders, and Renji reacted quite out of proportion, asking me if I wanted to get him stoned on the spot or if I just wanted to turn him into a laughing stock.

After some quiet and rational discussion of the matter, he agreed to try the yukata on, as he amusingly put it, "to shut me up". He also insisted on removing my camera first, which I cannot understand at all, and which shows a horribly distrustful attitude on his part.

He agreed to come outside so that I could look at him under natural sunlight, and I admit that I was at that point just beginning to consider that I might have been mistaken about the choice of colours on him (I know that you have always told me that I must remember that an aristocrat's duty involves admitting errors when they have been made, nii-sama) when the swarm of bees attacked.

It became very soon obvious that they were interested in Renji, probably because they thought he was some rare honey-laden blossom in the yukata. (On consideration, it may have been his hair. Surely my taste cannot have been that far at fault.) Renji did not have his zanpakutou with him at the time, having left it in the changing room -- and I have to admit that I do not think his bankai would have been much use against a swarm of bees -- and he threw off the yukata and ran screaming down the beach promenade in his loincloth, waving his arms above his head and looking for shelter.

Since my camera was in the yukata which he had so carelessly discarded, I took a few photographs before using my own zanpakutou to dispose of the bees. I have enclosed several of the better prints, and I think that you will particularly like the one where he was trying to stay underwater in the live lobster tank while the bees were overhead. The colour interplay of his hair and the lobsters came out beautifully.

Renji would send his best wishes if he knew where I was (I am at the moment resting in the hotel attic while composing this letter), so I mention them in his absence. Please forward the enclosed packet of photographs to the Shinigami Women's Association.

Your respectful and affectionate

Rukia

Comments

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Oh, Rukia, you darling little bitch. I love this fic, and laughed out loud more than a couple of times.

[incandescens]

Thank you! :)

[r0ck3tsci3ntist.livejournal.com]

OMG I can SEE it! Renji in a lobster tank with his red hair floating everywhere! Both gorgeous and ridiculous. Yum!

I like that Rukia feels confident that Byakuya will get a kick out of the pictures as well. -_^

[incandescens]

Thank you! Glad you liked it. :)

[eternalsayonara.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA. Brilliant.

Renji has not been a burden at all except occasionally...

I love how you write two-faced Rukia. ^___^

[incandescens]

Rukia wishes to state that she is not at all two-faced!

(And thanks. :))

[veleda-k.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I love the Rukia voice here. It's perfect. And the details are all hilarious.

[incandescens]

Thank you!

[liralen.livejournal.com]

*lots and lots of giggles* I love *how* Rukia writes in this letter a lot, and I love the image of Renji's hair amid the lobsters. *giggles*

Yay! Bees!!!

A very fun read.

[incandescens]

Thank you!

[scathachdhu.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is hilarious, all the details really make it. Renji never catches a break. XD

[incandescens]

Thank you very much!

(He doesn't, does he. Poor Renji.)

[incandescens]

Thank you!

[incandescens]

I wouldn't say so -- we just picked entirely different ways to take it. :)

And do feel free. (Though I don't necessary talk about Doctor Who that much.)

[incandescens]

I don't suppose you've seen my _Mixed Spirits_ fanfic?

[incandescens]

Yup, the 5th Doctor. I keep my fanfics there too. Just thought I'd check. :)

[misura.livejournal.com]

*g* Oh Rukia! (Although I guess that actually, I should either go 'oh, Renji' with a note of sympathy and spoilt-by-amusement pity, or 'oh Byakuya' for being the more-lucky-than-he-is-likely-to-realize-or-appreciate recipient of this gem of a letter.)

I loved reading this; it was brilliant.

My one complaint might be that there were no pictures included. Heh.

[incandescens]

Thank you very much indeed. :)

(Alas, my drawing skills are . . . worse than Rukia's.)

[darlingfox.livejournal.com]

*laughs herself silly*

I love Rukia's voice here. She's obviously perfectly reasonable and Renji's the one being stupid.

[incandescens]

Glad you liked it!

[imadra-blue.livejournal.com]

Oh, God. That is hilarious. I love Rukia and her delightfully evil sense of humor, and I wish the show played up on that more. Lovely fic. :D

[incandescens]

Thank you!

(I think the manga tends to show off her rather twisted humor more than the anime does.)

[wanderingscroll.livejournal.com]

*falls over laughing*

Rukia, you Rock!

[incandescens]

She does! Thank you.

[kaatsu.livejournal.com]

Renji has not been a burden at all except occasionally, and he has responded very well indeed to having this pointed out, and has promised to do better in future.

Ahaha! Oh, this is brilliant. :D

[incandescens]

Thank you very much!