Cutting and Cruel (Ouran High School Host Club, Hikaru/Haruhi/Kaoru, PG13)

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Title: Cutting and Cruel
Author: anenko
Rating: PG13
Warnings: None.
Summary: How unfair, Haruhi thinks, that she should be accused of disrupting their lives.
Prompt: Ouran High School Host Club, Hikaru/Haruhi/Kaoru: "There's only one way to solve this: threesome," - Oh, I feel like laughing/All because of you



The Hitachiin brothers are in a peculiar mood.

Their eyes are serious, their smiles full of teeth and secrets. They have been circling Haruhi all day. Irritation has shaped the angle of Haruhi’s shoulders, the set of her mouth. The twins are always dangerous, even when they mean no harm--and Haruhi doesn’t enjoy being preyed upon.

Hikaru sidles up behind Haruhi. His hands are warm and solid on her shoulders. Haruhi twitches.

“I’m telling you,” Hikaru says, “I saw her first.”

“You never notice anything beyond the tip of your own nose,” Kaoru counters. He drops Haruhi’s books to the floor, and slides into the place he has just vacated at her side. “Besides, you can’t call dibs on a person.”

“You’re just upset that you didn’t think of it first,” Hikaru says, voice lofty.

Haruhi’s frown deepens. She has things to do, and her plans don’t include playing a role in a Hitachiin-directed melodrama. “I,” she said, very firm, “must be going.”

Hikaru’s hands tighten against Haruhi’s shoulders. Kaoru places his hand on Haruhi’s knee, stills her shuffling feet. “Haruhi,” they say, “you can’t leave now.”

“Not until you help us solve the problem--” Kaoru says.

“--that you created,” Hikaru concludes.

Haruhi twists under the twins’ hands. She catches them both with a flat, unfriendly stare. “Your problems are your own,” she says.

“How cutting!” Kaoru says, eyes wide.

“How cruel!” Hikaru says, hand to his heart.

Neither cruel nor cutting enough, Haruhi thinks. The twins are still holding onto her; she fears that her chances of escape are slim, and growing slimmer by the second.

“And how wrong you are, Haruhi!” Kaoru adds, voice growing lower, deeper. “You nearly managed something no one else ever has.”

Hikaru leans forward, rests his chin on Haruhi’s shoulder. “You,” he says, into the curve of her ear, “nearly came between us, Haruhi.”

How unfair, Haruhi thinks, that she should be accused of disrupting their lives.

Hikaru waves off her protests before Haruhi can even begin to form them. “Despite the thoughtless damage you’ve inflected upon us,” he says, magnanimous, “we’re willing to forgive you.”

“That’s right,” Kaoru says.

“How kind,” Haruhi murmurs.

“But our forgiveness doesn’t come without a price!” Hikaru says. There is an edge to his laughter that makes Haruhi’s skin prickle. “It seems only fair that, having nearly come between us, you help bring us even closer together now.”

Haruhi pulls herself free of the twins’ too familiar hands. She stands, spares a look at the books scattered at Kaoru’s feet, and decides that collecting them isn’t worth the danger. “I’m not interested in joining your act,” she says. “Find someone else to play with.”

Kaoru shakes his head. “Ah, Haruhi--we aren’t talking about a new routine for the Host Club.”

“We have more adult matters in mind,” Hikaru says.

It would be foolish to encourage the twins. Haruhi swallows against her questions. She steps around Kaoru’s outstretched legs, intent on the door.

“What a dull girl we’ve chosen, Kaoru!” Hikaru says.

“No curiosity!”

“No spirit!”

“No charm!”

“No patience for you,” Haruhi says, despite herself.

The twins are flanking her before Haruhi has time to do more than sigh. They curl their arms around Haruhi, fill her field of vision with wide grins and triumphant eyes. Haruhi just barely restrains herself from sagging in resignation.

“If Hikaru likes Haruhi--” Kaoru says.

“--and if Kaoru likes Haruhi--” Hikaru says.

They singsong: “then we have a problem!”

Kaoru smiles wider, and brighter than before. “Fortunately, Hikaru and I are too clever to fall into such a trap.” He meets Hikaru’s eyes over Haruhi’s bent head, and winks.

“We decided,” Hikaru says, “that there’s only one way to solve our dilemma.”

Haruhi suspects that she is failing to grasp some of the important nuances of their conversation; she is just as certain that she is happier not knowing. The twins make things too confusing, too chaotic--and she can’t understand why her friendship should be so troubling to them.

She offers the twins a thin smile. “I’m glad that you came to a peaceful--”

The twins ignore her. They clasp their hands at the small of Haruhi’s back. Their free hands find Haruhi’s, hold her hands still against her belly. Haruhi feels small, soft--a woodland creature brought to ground by wolves, perhaps. The twins’ teeth gleam.

Hikaru and Kaoru say: “threesome!”

Haruhi goes utterly still. She can hear her own beating heart, the Hitachiin’s steady breathing. The tension builds, unbearable, and breaks:

Haruhi giggles.

Kaoru blinks down at her. “Haruhi?”

Hikaru stares. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I was worried!” Haruhi says. “But really, a threesome?”

“Ha,” Kaoru says.

“Ha, ha,” Hikaru agrees.

Haruhi untangles herself from the twins’ arms. They don’t protest, too busy sulking. Her heart is pounding, and her smile fits uncomfortably. Haruhi makes her escape without any further difficulties, breaking into a run only when she is no longer within Hikaru and Kaoru’s view.

Hikaru scowls at the closed door. “How can anyone be that dense?” he mutters.

“Completely oblivious,” Kaoru says.

--end

Comments

[sumthinlikhuman.livejournal.com]

I don't think I can properly impart upon you how happy this story made me. I'm not a hugely-huge fan of the pairing--most of the ones I've found have been so poorly written. But this. This is a little piece of gold that has turned my otherwise rather annoying afternoon just a little bit better.

The reactions and interactions were superb. It felt very well tied together. And the inclusion of the prompt made me smile.

Very good work!

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Thank you! While I'm fond of just about every Haruhi pairing imaginable, the twins (alone or together) have a slight edge over the rest of the cast, so I always enjoy getting the chance to write them. I'm very pleased to hear that the characters and pairing worked for you.

Thank you again for the kind comments.

[ravenbell.livejournal.com]

I'll be stifling giggles for the next hour, you naughty, naughty author you. ;)

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Heh. It's the twins. They're a bad influence!

Thanks for commenting.

[anime-angel-ash.livejournal.com]

Prompter here!

Oh my goodness, hooray! This had me smiling with glee from the first word to the last (seriously), and really helped me out of a bad mood. This was so awesomely adorable, and it's exactly what I wanted. No! It's even better! Thank you sooo much!

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Yay! I'm so glad that you liked it.

I had a lot of fun with this fic, but worried that I had wandered away from the prompt. I'm thrilled that the end result works for you.

[shiegra.livejournal.com]

Oh, so delicious and hilarious.

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad that you enjoyed the story.

[misura.livejournal.com]

Heh. Loved the twins so much in this; the way you wrote them was simply perfect - although Haruhi definitely takes at least half of the cake as well. Especially also given the ending, I could easily picture this as a scene in the manga (... well, I can dream, right?)

A delightful read!

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Thank you! After Haruhi herself, the twins are probably my favourite characters in Ouran--which doesn't make them any easier to write (that mix of playful and cruel is hard to manage).

I'm so pleased that you enjoyed the story!

[animegoil.livejournal.com]

LOL. This was amusing. I love the rhythm to everything they were saying, it gave it... like a flow or something ^_^ Great characterization on the three of them. This really could have been a scene in the manga.

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! I'm glad that you enjoyed the story.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

this was fun

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[childofatlantis.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing* I hesitated over reading this, because it's actually the idea of Hikaru falling for Haruhi while Kaoru doesn't that's deeply appealing to me, but oh my god, I am so glad I did. Your Twin-voices are perfect, perfect, their arrogance and persistence and playfulness - and Haruhi's reactions - oh, just right. The poor, beleaguered girl. I love it. :D

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Thank you for giving the fic a shot! Haruhi/Twin(s) is my guilty pleasure pairing, although I can never quite decide which of them I prefer more.

The twins's voices always give me a bit of trouble, so I'm especially delighted to hear that they came across clearly here. Thank you very much for the kind comments.