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kinkfestTitle: those left behind
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
reversedhymnal
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: nothin'
Word count: 1334
Summary: Tsuzuki gives Touda something to hold onto.
A/N: I am very sorry this is not better, u_u
Yami no Matsuei, Touda/Tsuzuki: Insecurities- Fear of being abandoned
The first couple of weeks were rough, real touch and go. Even though Tsuzuki spent more time in the Imaginary World than any other, he still had to leave it; he had a job, a duty and obligations, and, just maybe, people who cared enough to be worried if Tsuzuki didn’t show his face every now and then. Tsuzuki wished he didn't, though, because his heart broke with each coming and going.
After Touda assented, they cut off all of his hair and practically muzzled him; freedom came with a heavier price and more humiliation than Tsuzuki thought Touda could bear. It echoed pain through the past to Tsuzuki, and Tsuzuki couldn't help but cry for his new shikigami. And it was harder, still, because Touda was Touda, and Touda couldn't help but be caught between his fiercely reptilian pride, and his more human insecurities.
That was what broke Tsuzuki's heart: how alone Touda made himself be in his suffering. There was a strain in his new shikigami’s shoulders, and Touda made a desperate, harsh sound, shuddering painfully as he pressed his cold claws against the base of Tsuzuki’s throat in a desperate greeting. Tsuzuki stood still, and it was perhaps what he'd expected, but that didn't mean he was at all prepared for how to deal with it.
“I-” Tsuzuki winced, heart aching. Held still as the claws pressed a little tighter, Touda’s body shivering in a taut line of muscle and reluctant relief.
Very simply, Touda murmured, “You’re back.”
It made Tsuzuki blink back tears, and he smiled, trying not to make it too gentle, because sometimes gentleness was wounding. “I- Yes. Yes.” He didn’t know what else to say. No promise he could make would be large enough to encompass Touda’s imprisonment, and somehow Tsuzuki figured that offering the candy he had in his pocket would not go over well just yet. His soul ached at the weight of pain and bitter resignation Tsuzuki had seen in Touda’s eyes before they were covered with that damned visor.
Touda seemed to sway for a moment, and Tsuzuki thought, at first, that Touda would press into him, hug him, crumple perhaps, and Tsuzuki would try his best to catch his shikigami and hold him until he was all right again. But then Touda stilled, breathed in, breathed out, and walked away.
It happened again the next time Tsuzuki came back. He wasn’t even gone for very long, just a handful of days to sheepishly take care of some paperwork that was several weeks late, before he’d hurried back through the gateway. But Touda was there before Tsuzuki had taken more than a handful of steps, and Tsuzuki thought he saw Byakko jerk to stillness across the courtyard, tail moving slow and thoughtful. Then Byakko was gone, and all Tsuzuki could see anyway was the way Touda’s mouth was creased into a frown, face haggard looking.
“I came back,” Tsuzuki said earnestly. “Like I did last time.”
After a tense moment, Touda managed words. “Yes. I see.”
Then he was gone, once more. Tsuzuki fell into that routine for nearly two months, leaving when he had to and always coming back. His time spent in the Imaginary World was with his other shikigami more than not, but each visit began with Touda’s overpowering relief, his tense paranoia. It wasn’t getting better, and the guilt was eating at Tsuzuki. If Touda was his, then he had to take care of him. There were lots of things that Tsuzuki was helpless against, but he'd try everything in his power before giving up on making his shikigami happy.
“I’m back,” Tsuzuki told Touda, frowning, when he finally decided that enough was enough and it was time to get creative. “Like I keep doing, you know. Like I will keep doing.”
“Hn,” Touda said, and moved as if to leave. This time, Tsuzuki stopped him, a hand on Touda’s arm. “Did you want something?” Touda asked, sounding uncertain, sounding annoyed, trying to hide it in his deep cold voice. Tsuzuki swallowed, and wished to ease the ache of him.
He smiled. “Yes. Follow me, please.” Tsuzuki waited for Touda’s slow nod, and then turned, and walked and walked until he found his chambers, ignoring Touda’s patient, silently questioning presence behind him. “In here,” Tsuzuki said cheerfully, closing the door behind the fire serpent. Touda said nothing, just stood in the center of Tsuzuki’s room, strong and beautiful and dangerous looking.
Tsuzuki swallowed, and somehow his hands didn’t shake. Maybe it was because he wanted this, knew that it would make his shikigami feel better – that it was right. He said, “Maybe I’ll never be able to convince you that I’ll come back for you. But I can at least make it easier for you to believe that I’m really here, and you can hang on to that when you need to.”
Tsuzuki started forward and Touda met him, pressed his body against Tsuzuki’s so that they were back where they’d started, against the door. Tsuzuki blinked up at Touda, and after a minute Touda managed to raise an eyebrow. “You’re going to have sex with me,” Touda said, as if he wanted to be sure.
“Er. Yes?”
This time Touda’s eyebrow raise was even sharper, and something about his mouth was dry, as opposed to pinched. Tsuzuki felt something fluttery in his chest that he was succeeding even with this small amount. “Be clear,” Touda said impatiently.
“Ah, right! Yes!”
“Good,” Touda murmured, and then Tsuzuki’s snake shikigami leaned down and seared a kiss against his mouth like he was trying to press his imprint there. Tsuzuki made a sound, always vocal, and Touda licked it up with a too-long agile tongue, swallowing it greedily. Tsuzuki melted beneath his aggression, surrendered to Touda’s need. It was one of the easiest things he’d ever done; Touda’s kisses were sharp and hungry, the click of his metallic claws against Tsuzuki’s belt buckle delicate, chilling and exotic against Tsuzuki’s bare skin.
They made it over to the bed in a haphazard pile; Tsuzuki still had one sock on, and his tie had somehow managed to find its way to Touda’s neck, where Tsuzuki clung to it with the last of his coherency. Touda’s very muscled thigh was rocking wonderful shocks of heat and pleasure up Tsuzuki’s spine via pressure against Tsuzuki’s cock. Panting, Tsuzuki threw his head back, eyes squinting shut, heart pounding. He let go of the tie to throw his arms around Touda’s shoulders, to cling to him and dig his nails into Touda’s back until he received a hiss, and a shiver, until he’d made a mark on Touda, just as Touda was making on him. Tsuzuki did his best to give Touda something solid to hold on to.
When Touda’s teeth latched delicately onto Tsuzuki’s nipple, and then his tongue twisted against it, hot and slick and nothing remotely like a human’s tongue, Tsuzuki was done for. His orgasm shook him, seized his body and twisted it wanton so that he rubbed and bucked hard into Touda, his nails digging in again, drawing another, rougher noise from Touda. Tsuzuki’s brain exploded into light, and it shot down in a molten shock along his spine, pleasure sparking through him, ecstasy, and he came against Touda’s belly, and heard, faintly, as if from far away, Touda’s low voice as he came, whispering something Tsuzuki didn’t think he was meant to hear.
After, Tsuzuki didn’t let Touda leave. He wrapped his arms and legs around the other man and pulled him in as close as they could get, hoping the semen dried and stuck them together so that Touda would forget to be anything else other than annoyed at the gross. Breathing softly, Tsuzuki watched the way Touda’s hair fell soft and dark against his strong face, the way the visor pressed uncomfortably against the man’s cheek. He would stay there, Tsuzuki silently decided, as long as it would take.
Author:
reversedhymnalRating: NC-17
Warnings: nothin'
Word count: 1334
Summary: Tsuzuki gives Touda something to hold onto.
A/N: I am very sorry this is not better, u_u
Yami no Matsuei, Touda/Tsuzuki: Insecurities- Fear of being abandoned
The first couple of weeks were rough, real touch and go. Even though Tsuzuki spent more time in the Imaginary World than any other, he still had to leave it; he had a job, a duty and obligations, and, just maybe, people who cared enough to be worried if Tsuzuki didn’t show his face every now and then. Tsuzuki wished he didn't, though, because his heart broke with each coming and going.
After Touda assented, they cut off all of his hair and practically muzzled him; freedom came with a heavier price and more humiliation than Tsuzuki thought Touda could bear. It echoed pain through the past to Tsuzuki, and Tsuzuki couldn't help but cry for his new shikigami. And it was harder, still, because Touda was Touda, and Touda couldn't help but be caught between his fiercely reptilian pride, and his more human insecurities.
That was what broke Tsuzuki's heart: how alone Touda made himself be in his suffering. There was a strain in his new shikigami’s shoulders, and Touda made a desperate, harsh sound, shuddering painfully as he pressed his cold claws against the base of Tsuzuki’s throat in a desperate greeting. Tsuzuki stood still, and it was perhaps what he'd expected, but that didn't mean he was at all prepared for how to deal with it.
“I-” Tsuzuki winced, heart aching. Held still as the claws pressed a little tighter, Touda’s body shivering in a taut line of muscle and reluctant relief.
Very simply, Touda murmured, “You’re back.”
It made Tsuzuki blink back tears, and he smiled, trying not to make it too gentle, because sometimes gentleness was wounding. “I- Yes. Yes.” He didn’t know what else to say. No promise he could make would be large enough to encompass Touda’s imprisonment, and somehow Tsuzuki figured that offering the candy he had in his pocket would not go over well just yet. His soul ached at the weight of pain and bitter resignation Tsuzuki had seen in Touda’s eyes before they were covered with that damned visor.
Touda seemed to sway for a moment, and Tsuzuki thought, at first, that Touda would press into him, hug him, crumple perhaps, and Tsuzuki would try his best to catch his shikigami and hold him until he was all right again. But then Touda stilled, breathed in, breathed out, and walked away.
It happened again the next time Tsuzuki came back. He wasn’t even gone for very long, just a handful of days to sheepishly take care of some paperwork that was several weeks late, before he’d hurried back through the gateway. But Touda was there before Tsuzuki had taken more than a handful of steps, and Tsuzuki thought he saw Byakko jerk to stillness across the courtyard, tail moving slow and thoughtful. Then Byakko was gone, and all Tsuzuki could see anyway was the way Touda’s mouth was creased into a frown, face haggard looking.
“I came back,” Tsuzuki said earnestly. “Like I did last time.”
After a tense moment, Touda managed words. “Yes. I see.”
Then he was gone, once more. Tsuzuki fell into that routine for nearly two months, leaving when he had to and always coming back. His time spent in the Imaginary World was with his other shikigami more than not, but each visit began with Touda’s overpowering relief, his tense paranoia. It wasn’t getting better, and the guilt was eating at Tsuzuki. If Touda was his, then he had to take care of him. There were lots of things that Tsuzuki was helpless against, but he'd try everything in his power before giving up on making his shikigami happy.
“I’m back,” Tsuzuki told Touda, frowning, when he finally decided that enough was enough and it was time to get creative. “Like I keep doing, you know. Like I will keep doing.”
“Hn,” Touda said, and moved as if to leave. This time, Tsuzuki stopped him, a hand on Touda’s arm. “Did you want something?” Touda asked, sounding uncertain, sounding annoyed, trying to hide it in his deep cold voice. Tsuzuki swallowed, and wished to ease the ache of him.
He smiled. “Yes. Follow me, please.” Tsuzuki waited for Touda’s slow nod, and then turned, and walked and walked until he found his chambers, ignoring Touda’s patient, silently questioning presence behind him. “In here,” Tsuzuki said cheerfully, closing the door behind the fire serpent. Touda said nothing, just stood in the center of Tsuzuki’s room, strong and beautiful and dangerous looking.
Tsuzuki swallowed, and somehow his hands didn’t shake. Maybe it was because he wanted this, knew that it would make his shikigami feel better – that it was right. He said, “Maybe I’ll never be able to convince you that I’ll come back for you. But I can at least make it easier for you to believe that I’m really here, and you can hang on to that when you need to.”
Tsuzuki started forward and Touda met him, pressed his body against Tsuzuki’s so that they were back where they’d started, against the door. Tsuzuki blinked up at Touda, and after a minute Touda managed to raise an eyebrow. “You’re going to have sex with me,” Touda said, as if he wanted to be sure.
“Er. Yes?”
This time Touda’s eyebrow raise was even sharper, and something about his mouth was dry, as opposed to pinched. Tsuzuki felt something fluttery in his chest that he was succeeding even with this small amount. “Be clear,” Touda said impatiently.
“Ah, right! Yes!”
“Good,” Touda murmured, and then Tsuzuki’s snake shikigami leaned down and seared a kiss against his mouth like he was trying to press his imprint there. Tsuzuki made a sound, always vocal, and Touda licked it up with a too-long agile tongue, swallowing it greedily. Tsuzuki melted beneath his aggression, surrendered to Touda’s need. It was one of the easiest things he’d ever done; Touda’s kisses were sharp and hungry, the click of his metallic claws against Tsuzuki’s belt buckle delicate, chilling and exotic against Tsuzuki’s bare skin.
They made it over to the bed in a haphazard pile; Tsuzuki still had one sock on, and his tie had somehow managed to find its way to Touda’s neck, where Tsuzuki clung to it with the last of his coherency. Touda’s very muscled thigh was rocking wonderful shocks of heat and pleasure up Tsuzuki’s spine via pressure against Tsuzuki’s cock. Panting, Tsuzuki threw his head back, eyes squinting shut, heart pounding. He let go of the tie to throw his arms around Touda’s shoulders, to cling to him and dig his nails into Touda’s back until he received a hiss, and a shiver, until he’d made a mark on Touda, just as Touda was making on him. Tsuzuki did his best to give Touda something solid to hold on to.
When Touda’s teeth latched delicately onto Tsuzuki’s nipple, and then his tongue twisted against it, hot and slick and nothing remotely like a human’s tongue, Tsuzuki was done for. His orgasm shook him, seized his body and twisted it wanton so that he rubbed and bucked hard into Touda, his nails digging in again, drawing another, rougher noise from Touda. Tsuzuki’s brain exploded into light, and it shot down in a molten shock along his spine, pleasure sparking through him, ecstasy, and he came against Touda’s belly, and heard, faintly, as if from far away, Touda’s low voice as he came, whispering something Tsuzuki didn’t think he was meant to hear.
After, Tsuzuki didn’t let Touda leave. He wrapped his arms and legs around the other man and pulled him in as close as they could get, hoping the semen dried and stuck them together so that Touda would forget to be anything else other than annoyed at the gross. Breathing softly, Tsuzuki watched the way Touda’s hair fell soft and dark against his strong face, the way the visor pressed uncomfortably against the man’s cheek. He would stay there, Tsuzuki silently decided, as long as it would take.
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 07:51 am (UTC)I love this pairing but I see so few fics with him...
no subject
Date: 2008-06-10 06:53 am (UTC)Who? *stares some more*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-10 07:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-09 11:53 am (UTC)And oooooh, the things I can imagine Touda doing with that tongue... *grin*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-10 06:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-12 05:05 am (UTC)