Breaking the circle (Shonen Onmyouji, Guren/Masahiro)

[macavitykitsune.livejournal.com]

Title: Breaking the circle
Author: macavitykitsune
Pairing: Guren/Masahiro
Rating: PG-13 for a kiss and implied violence?
Summary: He's seen this happen one too many times.
Prompt: June 9th - Shounen Onmyouji, Guren/Masahiro: desperation - "Masahiro!"

Breaking the circle

 

 

Those who forget the past, Seimei was fond of saying, are doomed to repeat it.

And maybe this was the punishment for daring to feel free for a little while, to laugh and play the fool and look at someone who could meet his gaze without fear or hate tainting his gaze. He hadn’t forgotten, he could never forget, but he had stopped caring – just long enough to begin to want to live again. But maybe he shouldn’t ever have had the chance to live like that, even for a little while, because the very thought of that being taken away ignited a burning core of fear in his heart, and…

…and Masahiro was lying on the ground, unconscious, there was a faint trickle of blood running down from his forehead and not breathing and the panic and the power rushing through him demanded blood for blood, life for life. The youkai who had flung him across the street into a hard stone wall was burnt out of existence, incinerated in an unholy burst of fire that he’d never been able to summon before while his powers were sealed, and Masahiro was in his arms and he was cradling him, calling him, begging him for both their sakes to wake up, and the diadem on his forehead was beginning to crack, pain rising like the tide, the fires of hell seeping up in his mind, a slow ignition of madness agony loss sorrow no please not again please no please please –

‘Guren.’

 The roaring in his ears was so loud that he could barely hear, but Masahiro had always been able to reach past everything and touch his heart unerringly since the day he was born, and somehow he did that again now. ‘Guren. I’m okay. It’s okay now.’ Pale hands scrabbled at his arms. ‘Guren.’

‘Masahiro,’ he whispered.

Masahiro blinked at him through the blood which was just beginning to run to the corner of his eye. ‘Are you all right?’

The question struck him as ridiculous, and the idea that Masahiro was worried about him right now was even more ridiculous. If it had been any other time, he would have laughed.

He stood, and Masahiro stood up with him, wobbly on his feet. ‘I hit my head,’ he said seriously, as if he was noticing it for the first time. He probably was.

Guren stifled a chuckle. ‘I noticed.’ The rage in him was fading, slow and sure as it had risen. Masahiro always had that effect on him.

‘I think we should go home now. I’m still dizzy.’

Guren closed his eyes, a long slow exhale of sweet relief. ‘Yes.’

But they weren’t moving, or rather, Masahiro wasn’t. Guren shifted a little, preparing to return to his smaller form, but Masahiro’s hand tightened around his arm.

‘Guren.’

It wasn’t quite a request or a command, and he stayed still, waiting.

Masahiro was staring at him. It was a little uncomfortable. He looked puzzled and focused at once, as if he was trying to solve a new and interesting problem. Guren waited. And waited, and was just about to return to his ‘Mokkun’ form when Masahiro stepped forward. Slowly, he reached out and wrapped his arms around Guren’s neck. It was startling, how little he needed to stretch now to do that – for a moment, Guren struggled with the ghost of baby Masahiro, giggling at him, and with the teenager he’d befriended so many years ago, and then everything went blank when Masahiro stepped in even closer and pressed them together.

Warmth, comfort, safety, contentment. It wasn’t like being cradled in Masahiro’s arms when he was in his Mokkun form, but the feeling was still the same. Masahiro leaned up a little and sighed, a breath of air next to his ears. ‘Guren,’ he whispered, and it wasn’t anything but the sound of his name, and there was no need to shiver, but he did, and his arms went around him to hold him back, tightening until he had to restrain himself to keep from crushing him. Masahiro didn’t seem to mind, though, he just hummed and somehow molded himself closer, deftly avoiding the spiky guards around his throat, his hair brushing against Guren’s arms in a long cool line.

The bitter aftertaste of rage and helplessness still lay on his tongue, but it was being soothed away slowly by Masahiro, warm and alive, and in his arms, and stroking his hair now, which was unexpected, but very, very welcome.

‘You looked as if you were dead,’ Guren rasped.

‘I’m fine.’ Masahiro pulled away, looked at him with those big dark eyes that hadn’t changed at all, not in all those years, through heartbreak and pain and growing up. ‘I’m fine, all right? So stop worrying. It’s okay.’

‘Masahiro,’ Guren whispered.

He nodded solemnly, as if he had just answered an important question, leaned in and pecked him on the mouth for a brief second. Then he pulled away again and watched Guren, still solemn.

‘Oh,’ Guren said, still whispering. As if this was a secret, or something sacred. It felt like it. One hand untangled itself from red robes and drifted up to his lips. He could feel a faint tingle of residual power there, from Masahiro’s touch.

‘Yes, oh.’ Masahiro’s face was beginning to turn pink.

Guren stared at him, still stricken mute with shock, and this time Masahiro kissed his ears, tracing the edges lightly with his lips. He shivered, and one hand rose, curving around fragile human skin, so pale next to his own, the other crushing him closer closer closer, blanketing him with his own body until Masahiro arched against him, leaning up to place a gentle kiss on his forehead, just under the place the seal circled, one hand threading into his hair, acceptance and caring and a promise. The touch so close to the centre of his power unnerved him, too intimate, too powerful, and it seemed to release him in some way as well, because he leaned down and kissed him, finally, finally, eyes, cheeks, lips, soft warm mouth tasting of the peaches Masahiro was hopelessly addicted to, forehead, taste of iron where his lips touched the trail of blood that had trickled down it, blood with that indefinable tang that spiritual power added to it.

Masahiro winced as his lips trailed a little too close to the wound, and the flash of concern and guilt broke the strange compulsion to touch that had settled into Guren. They stepped away from each other, and smiled awkwardly, and then Masahiro smiled for real, the sweet joyous smile that had reached into his chest and ripped out his old tired heart so many years ago and was still so powerful, still real, still his to see and to treasure. It made a different sort of fire kindle inside him – something warm and satiated and comforted, contentment seeping into his bones.

Masahiro slipped neatly out of Guren’s arms and began walking – wobbling – away. Still a little dizzy, apparently. ‘Come on, Guren. Let’s go home.’

Guren nodded and followed, still silent, joy humming inside him.

---------------------

‘So you still don’t want a woman,’ Mokkun observed the next morning. ‘Despite Toshitsugu’s opinions to the contrary.’

Masahiro threw a shoe at him.

Comments

[lirren.livejournal.com]

I think this may go down as one of my favorite SO fics ever. It was beautifully done, and I could completely feel the desperation and fear and overwhelming love that Guren has for Masahiro.

And the ending made me laugh. Well done!

[macavitykitsune.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! *grins* It's my second try in the fandom and Masahiro was surprisingly hard to write. I'm glad you liked it.

[animegoil.livejournal.com]

I loved this. When I saw in the summary the bit about a kiss I was like... eh.... A tad wary, anyway. Because I don't see anything beside Guren's beautiful devotion to him, and Masahiro's nearly blind trust in Guren. In other words, I can't see them kissing at all, because it's not about anything sexual, especially since Masahiro's a kid. So, it was great that you had him grow up some before, otherwise it would have been impossible to envision. As it is, it is wonderful. For some reason, I could picture Masahiro as a young adult perfectly. He'd be amazing... <3 But, yeah, so the way you put it here, and with him older, it was adorably sweet, and very intense. It was cute that he still sort of blsuhed, and Guren was still overprotective and all that... <3 It was just pure love, this fic.

[macavitykitsune.livejournal.com]

You're right in that their current relationship isn't remotely sexual - but I do see the possibility for it becoming so once Masahiro grows up a bit. I mean, he has the most complete love imaginable right by his side, I don't think it would even occur to him to really go elsewhere, not even to Akiko (who is a good match for him in her own way, but she'll always be a responsibility to him where Guren will be an equal partner). So, well.

Thanks for the review!

[a-mael.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well, now.

I haven't even finished SO, but even I can tell that this is perfect. Very IC, and the flow is so gentle, even with the desperation in Guren's heart and mind.

*nods* Lovely, my dear!

[macavitykitsune.livejournal.com]

*turns pink* thank you! That does mean a lot to me, coming from you. ^_^ You'll love this even more when you get towards the end - I haven't finished the last two episodes, and I hope so very badly they get their happy ending!

[a-mael.livejournal.com]

*huggles you*

You know I fangirl all over your work.

I still have to get from episode 13 on; my connections have been somewhat finicky of late, so I've been having issues.

[aisushi.livejournal.com]

I just finished the series and was in need of fic to soothe the wibbles the ending caused me.

Lovely - just what the doctor ordered. <3