Yami no Matsuei (Watari/Tatsumi)

[weirdquark]

Title: Change the World in a Tiny Way
Author: weirdquark
Rating: Adult, for... um, language.
Wordcount: 400, more or less (you'll see the problem with counting)
Summary: Tribology is the science and technology of friction, lubrication, and wear, derived from the Greek tribo meaning "I rub". Formally defined, it is the science and technology of interacting surfaces in relative motion and all practices related thereto. -- Wikipedia
Author's Notes: Written for the prompt: "Yami no Matsuei, Watari/Tatsumi: Science (yes, it's a kink!) - "A heart-shaped box of springs & wire" (Jonathan Coulton - Mandelbrot Set)"

Thanks to the anonymous original prompter for answering my question about what they were looking for and bringing my brain away from the serious-mooded epic already in my head that fit the prompt and back to the happy world of short crack!fic, because otherwise I'd never have finished. Thanks also to gaudior for the beta.

Stylistically inspired by Value For O, by Jennifer Stevenson (in Sex in the System)



"Yutaka?"

"Mm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Oh! I was thinking about ball bearings, and I had to get up and write up some calculations because I think the usual straw size used in bubble tea doesn't have quite the ideal width given the viscosity of --"

"Yutaka."

"Yes, Seii?"

"It's three in the morning."

"Yes?"

"...never mind. I should be used to it by now, I suppose. ...Yutaka?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you wearing your lab coat?"

"I'm cold."

"...let me clarify. Why are you wearing only your lab coat?"

"Easy access."

"Oof. Mmm. I see."

"Brilliant, right?"

"Quite."

"Mmm. Do that again."

"This?"

"No, low- yes, that."

"So why are you thinking about ball bearings at three in the morning?"

"Oh, well, Seiichirou, you know how one thing... leads to another."

"Ah! Yes, yes, I have noticed how your mind...mmmm ah! Jumps around."

"Right. So it wasn't really ball bearings that had my attention when you woke up."

"What did have your attention?"

"Mmmph."

"Besides that."

"Tease. Okay. I was thinking about tribology."

"Tribology."

"Tribology is -- where did you put the... never mind, I found it -- the study of friction and lubrication."

"And these thoughts caused you to get out of bed."

"I was writing down equations! Stop laughing, you were sleeping."

"I was just thinking how much I love how-- you, that is."

"Well, Seii-chan, since you approve of me being me..."

"Am I going to regret saying that?"

"That depends. Since you approve of me being me, you'll have to help me with further experimentation."

"And how exactly am I... oh!"

"See, there have been studies done on the tribological interactions of skin on various surfaces, but some areas of the human body are somewhat... lacking."

"Ah. And you feel that this is a- a- problem?"

"Mmhmm."

"Well, I'm-- mm -- happy to be of a-- assist-- tance."

"So the question is-- where is-- the pre-- ooo-- cise value of friction that causes maximum pleasure? And how much lubrication must be added, taking into account variation in the ten-- ah! ...sions of the pelvic region."

"I -ah suspect that is a ma-- matter of personal, mmm, faster, preference."

"So, I, ah, would posit, but, it, oh, yes... might be. Possible to find. A range. For, ah. Ooo-- each in- indi- i- dual. Taking into account moo- ooo, Seii... and...ah!"

"...harder..."

"...speed, and yes, and yes, yes YES!"

"....indeed. Was that helpful?"

"Very. For a proper experiment I'd have to be taking readings though."

"...taking readings."

"Yeah! I was thinking that I could invent a dildo that would take measurements of internal tensions and friction as it moves back and forth and...mmmph."

"If you name it after me, I will have to hurt you."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Comments

[white_aster]

pffft, yes, so very Watari, right there. Invent a data-gathering dildo, indeed! :)

[weirdquark]

Yeah, I love Watari.

[veleda-k.livejournal.com]

...<3 <3 <3. This was fantastic. So much fun to read. And so perfectly Watari.

[weirdquark]

Thank you!

Perfect!

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

This was *exactly* the sort of thing I was hoping for (although a long epic would also have been good ;) )

(Apparently, the effort it takes a sperm to swim up an "unfamiliar environment" is the same as it would take a human to swim through room-temperature golden syrup :) Or so the calculations say...)

Re: Perfect!

[weirdquark]

Glad you like it!

I was wandering around Wikipedia for this to try to figure out what sort of science would work best. When I found the page on tribology, Watari started saying, "yes! What the world needs is a self-lubricating butt-plug!" and cackling maniacally. That was how I knew I had a winner.

(Go, sperm, go!)

Re: Perfect!

[veleda-k.livejournal.com]

(Apparently, the effort it takes a sperm to swim up an "unfamiliar environment" is the same as it would take a human to swim through room-temperature golden syrup :) Or so the calculations say...)

Knowing that makes me want to attempt to swim in room-temperature golden syrup. I'm sure that says something about me, but I don't know what.

[admiral]

"If you name it after me, I will have to hurt you."

xDDD Oh, that would be lovely, wouldn't it.
Brilliant. ♥

[weirdquark]

Hee. Thanks.

[threewalls]

All dialogue, no description, and yet it's all evocative enough not to be confusing. And also hilarious. It's so good to something with see these two again.

[weirdquark]

Thanks!

I'm glad it wasn't confusing. I'm not sure I got across as much as I would have liked, but lack of description made for a fun style challenge.

[jtriskell.livejournal.com]

*gggggg*
I love this. Utterly love it :)

[childofatlantis.livejournal.com]

*SHRIEKING WITH LAUGHTER* So, so perfect. So utterly perfect. THERE ARE NO WORDS. And it hits my talking-during-sex kink neatly on the head as well. Oh very yes. :D :D