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kinkfestTitle: Sense of Purpose
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lady_ganesh
Rating: PG
Warnings: Dangerously close to gen, mentions of child abuse and child death
Pairing: Hisoka/Tsuzuki
Prompt: Partnership - "this year’s love had better last / heaven knows it’s high time / I’ve been waiting on my too long"
The one thing they didn't deny Hisoka in the cellar was books. He had to do something down there, after all, and if he kept quiet it was easier on everyone. Mostly he read history and science, but sometimes he'd escape more completely into a novel. He mostly kept to classics, but when they ran dry he turned to Western works. Dostoyevsky wasn't bad; he didn't waste too much time on sentimentality. There was something oddly comforting about Camus. By the third time he'd read La Peste, he'd decided it was something about Dr. Rieux that called to him, though he couldn't place what.
After the first year in the hospital, when his sanity broke through the pain, he thought he might want to be a doctor himself. To make an impact in the madness of it, to hold someone's hand, to break through, even if only for a moment, and make things better.
After the second year, he knew he wouldn't live to do anything.
***
He was so tired, and the back of his neck ached. He needed coffee, and maybe a sweet bun, one of those cinnamon and raisin ones with the extra frosting on top....
He shook his head. He didn't want a cinnamon bun. Tsuzuki wanted a cinnamon bun. The coffee sounded good, though. Hisoka walked over to the coffeemaker, eyed it suspiciously (this did not actually help, but it was reassuring), and poured himself and his partner full cups.
Tsuzuki was hunched over his paperwork-- it was amazing, how much time it took him to do so little-- and he accepted the cup with a faint, fond smile. Hisoka felt the fatigue and tension ease a little, and a bit of affection and gratitude creeping in to replace it.
She'd been looking for her lost cat, and the car had jumped the curb at just the wrong time. But her spirit had been so strong she'd spent another two years trying to find the cat. Hisoka had gone to the Hall of Candles and tracked the damn thing down-- it'd taken hours-- while Tsuzuki kept the girl company. It was straightforward enough, and ended quickly, with a minimum of paperwork needed.
She'd been eight years old.
Hisoka had considered letting Tsuzuki out of doing the paperwork this time, but sometimes it was soothing for him; his way of saying goodbye to a life, a possibility never to be realized. And she'd been happy at the end, determined to find her cat in the next life. Tsuzuki would be exhausted, but the tension would ease further.
He looked at his watch; it was almost eleven. Hisoka had been careful with his budget for a while. "Tsuzuki," he whispered across his desk, and his partner looked up at him. "If you finish up by noon, I'll take you to lunch, all right?"
Tsuzuki's face blossomed in a smile. "Okay," he said, happily. His mood warmed another degree, and Hisoka found himself smiling a bit, as well.
Author:
lady_ganeshRating: PG
Warnings: Dangerously close to gen, mentions of child abuse and child death
Pairing: Hisoka/Tsuzuki
Prompt: Partnership - "this year’s love had better last / heaven knows it’s high time / I’ve been waiting on my too long"
The one thing they didn't deny Hisoka in the cellar was books. He had to do something down there, after all, and if he kept quiet it was easier on everyone. Mostly he read history and science, but sometimes he'd escape more completely into a novel. He mostly kept to classics, but when they ran dry he turned to Western works. Dostoyevsky wasn't bad; he didn't waste too much time on sentimentality. There was something oddly comforting about Camus. By the third time he'd read La Peste, he'd decided it was something about Dr. Rieux that called to him, though he couldn't place what.
After the first year in the hospital, when his sanity broke through the pain, he thought he might want to be a doctor himself. To make an impact in the madness of it, to hold someone's hand, to break through, even if only for a moment, and make things better.
After the second year, he knew he wouldn't live to do anything.
***
He was so tired, and the back of his neck ached. He needed coffee, and maybe a sweet bun, one of those cinnamon and raisin ones with the extra frosting on top....
He shook his head. He didn't want a cinnamon bun. Tsuzuki wanted a cinnamon bun. The coffee sounded good, though. Hisoka walked over to the coffeemaker, eyed it suspiciously (this did not actually help, but it was reassuring), and poured himself and his partner full cups.
Tsuzuki was hunched over his paperwork-- it was amazing, how much time it took him to do so little-- and he accepted the cup with a faint, fond smile. Hisoka felt the fatigue and tension ease a little, and a bit of affection and gratitude creeping in to replace it.
She'd been looking for her lost cat, and the car had jumped the curb at just the wrong time. But her spirit had been so strong she'd spent another two years trying to find the cat. Hisoka had gone to the Hall of Candles and tracked the damn thing down-- it'd taken hours-- while Tsuzuki kept the girl company. It was straightforward enough, and ended quickly, with a minimum of paperwork needed.
She'd been eight years old.
Hisoka had considered letting Tsuzuki out of doing the paperwork this time, but sometimes it was soothing for him; his way of saying goodbye to a life, a possibility never to be realized. And she'd been happy at the end, determined to find her cat in the next life. Tsuzuki would be exhausted, but the tension would ease further.
He looked at his watch; it was almost eleven. Hisoka had been careful with his budget for a while. "Tsuzuki," he whispered across his desk, and his partner looked up at him. "If you finish up by noon, I'll take you to lunch, all right?"
Tsuzuki's face blossomed in a smile. "Okay," he said, happily. His mood warmed another degree, and Hisoka found himself smiling a bit, as well.
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no subject
Date: 2009-06-21 02:42 pm (UTC)-- I hadn't really thought about it before reading this, but of course you're right: if he'd lived Hisoka would have made a splendid doctor. (Assuming, that is, that he could manage the sheer stress of being open to all that extra sensory data from his patients.) He'd be able to get around the difficulties people without specialized educations can have in explaining their symptoms to their doctors, so he'd be a brilliant diagnostician. And of course, if he could bear it, he'd be an even better psychiatrist, notwithstanding his own issues.
But then, Tsuzuki pretty much needs his own full-time psychiatrist. So from Meifu's point of view, I suppose one could say that things worked out perfectly.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-21 03:35 pm (UTC)That piece was actually the last bit of the puzzle, but it makes so much sense. I've actually met more than one medical provider who ended up in the system early and decided for that reason they wanted to be a doctor. Because there had to be a better way than what they were going through. And that sounds so Hisoka, doesn't it?
Thank you.
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Date: 2009-06-21 05:30 pm (UTC)Hana
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