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kinkfestTitle: All The Way Down
Author: saltedpin
Rating: M-15
Pairing: Skyfire/Starscream, Skyfire/Perceptor
Prompt: Transformers (G1), Starscream/Skyfire: succumbing to temptation or addiction, fall from grace: "You can't resist."
Summary: Depressed and bitter Skyfire is bitter and depressed.
Word count: 929
A/N: Big thank yous to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
doctorcal and systemscrash. Title taken from a Voltaire song. Also, exceedingly unhappy with this, but deadlines is deadlines :(
Skyfire is no innocent; of course he has noticed it.
He knows full well the meaning behind the coincidentally timed arrivals in the Ark laboratory, the sidelong glances, the fact that Perceptor, who never usually has any trouble filling up silences, becomes shame-faced and silent when Skyfire is around.
Of course, he had resolved to ignore it – what else could he do? He knows – the deeply-rooted sadness at the core of his spark knows – that he has nothing to offer. Whatever there once had been is no longer a part of him, belonging solely to a Skyfire who has long since ceased to exist, buried in the ice of the Arctic – or even further back, still on Cybertron, along with whatever is left of the Starscream he used to know.
The difference being that Starscream has had millions of years to evolve into what he is now - Skyfire had less than a day to adapt to the new set of rules he now operates by, and less time still to come to terms with who Starscream has become.
Thinking back, he had seen the roots of it all those years ago – he suspects that even without his nine million years on ice, their respective paths would have unwound to this same place. And he is bitterly aware that if Starscream came to him tomorrow, he would still try to talk him into changing his ways.
It hadn’t worked back then, and Primus knows it certainly wouldn’t work now – but the idea won’t leave him, just as it wouldn’t leave him then.
In a way, Skyfire thinks, with a sour awareness of the melodrama, getting buried in ice had at least brought a merciful end to him and Starscream – by that time, the only thing holding them together was an addiction to destroying each other by inches. And Skyfire knows that whatever Perceptor might think he wants, it isn’t someone with such a dark and damaged past, full of things that only Starscream could make a person do.
He hadn’t expected it to last so long. He should have known – Perceptor is nothing if not persistent.
Skyfire hadn’t encouraged it, but he didn’t repel it either, and over time Perceptor has grown bolder – when his hand accidentally-on-purpose brushes against Skyfire’s over a sample of some earth rock he leaves it there, grey fingers sliding slowly over Skyfire’s much larger hand, and his optics full of expectancy. Hopefulness.
Skyfire knows full well he should turn away, pretend not to understand. But Perceptor is so shy and so earnest in his advances, and Skyfire has not been touched in a very long time. He can feel his resolve crumbling, succumbing to whatever lingering memories he has of how this used to feel, and how, before the cracks had opened up, they had been happy. He can’t resist; chasing down that feeling he leans down to kiss Perceptor, folding his arm around his back and lifting Perceptor onto the workspace in front of him, his other hand sliding over the seams in Perceptor’s casing, fingers forcing their way into the gaps to exposed circuitry below.
It’s different – of course it’s different. There’s nothing of Starscream’s demanding pushiness, only an unhurried, unconditional submission. Skyfire closes his eyes and tries to remember – he knows the body beneath his is not Starscream’s, and he can’t reasonably pretend that it is. It’s smaller, blockier, and the wings he wants to reach for aren’t there. Instead, he runs his fingers around the base of Perceptor’s microscope, feeling him shudder. Perceptor’s relatively tiny hands fumble gracelessly along his intakes, before clumsily fiddling with the catch of his casing.
“Skyfire, you can – if you want –” Perceptor’s intakes hitch as Skyfire crushes him closer, opens his casing and slides out his conductor cables. Perceptor stretches backwards and opens himself up, and Skyfire connects his cables to the ports in Perceptor’s chest, feeling the current begin to flow.
It’s nothing – nothing like what he remembers or wants. Skyfire closes his eyes again and tries to be anywhere but here – he speeds up the pulses in the current, and tries to get this over and done with as quickly as possible, rough, fast and nothing like what a first time should be like. He flicks through his memory banks and tries to imagine being back on Cybertron, ten million years ago, on a field trip to Kaon –
“Starscream --” It’s out before he can stop it, and he feels Perceptor stiffen beneath him, his hand suddenly falling from Skyfire’s arm.
***
“I’m sorry,” Skyfire offers afterwards.
Perceptor simply goes about coiling his parts away, sliding back within himself. “I can’t pretend I hadn’t hoped –” Perceptor cuts himself off, faltering slightly.
Skyfire can’t look at him.
“But at least credit me with enough intelligence to understand what I was potentially getting into,” Perceptor finishes, closing his housing with a soft ‘click’, before turning and walking away.
For a while, Skyfire simply sits and waits for the guilt to creep over him, but it never comes. He knows his fall from grace started millions of years ago, the intertwined helices of his and Starscream’s lives pulling each other along, bound together, but never once managing to touch.
There’s no guilt over what he’s done – just a numb realisation that this was the choice he had made all those years ago, and the knowledge that, given the option, he would do it all again.
Starscream would drag everyone down with him, and there would always be somewhere lower to sink.
The end.
Author: saltedpin
Rating: M-15
Pairing: Skyfire/Starscream, Skyfire/Perceptor
Prompt: Transformers (G1), Starscream/Skyfire: succumbing to temptation or addiction, fall from grace: "You can't resist."
Summary: Depressed and bitter Skyfire is bitter and depressed.
Word count: 929
A/N: Big thank yous to
doctorcal and systemscrash. Title taken from a Voltaire song. Also, exceedingly unhappy with this, but deadlines is deadlines :(Skyfire is no innocent; of course he has noticed it.
He knows full well the meaning behind the coincidentally timed arrivals in the Ark laboratory, the sidelong glances, the fact that Perceptor, who never usually has any trouble filling up silences, becomes shame-faced and silent when Skyfire is around.
Of course, he had resolved to ignore it – what else could he do? He knows – the deeply-rooted sadness at the core of his spark knows – that he has nothing to offer. Whatever there once had been is no longer a part of him, belonging solely to a Skyfire who has long since ceased to exist, buried in the ice of the Arctic – or even further back, still on Cybertron, along with whatever is left of the Starscream he used to know.
The difference being that Starscream has had millions of years to evolve into what he is now - Skyfire had less than a day to adapt to the new set of rules he now operates by, and less time still to come to terms with who Starscream has become.
Thinking back, he had seen the roots of it all those years ago – he suspects that even without his nine million years on ice, their respective paths would have unwound to this same place. And he is bitterly aware that if Starscream came to him tomorrow, he would still try to talk him into changing his ways.
It hadn’t worked back then, and Primus knows it certainly wouldn’t work now – but the idea won’t leave him, just as it wouldn’t leave him then.
In a way, Skyfire thinks, with a sour awareness of the melodrama, getting buried in ice had at least brought a merciful end to him and Starscream – by that time, the only thing holding them together was an addiction to destroying each other by inches. And Skyfire knows that whatever Perceptor might think he wants, it isn’t someone with such a dark and damaged past, full of things that only Starscream could make a person do.
He hadn’t expected it to last so long. He should have known – Perceptor is nothing if not persistent.
Skyfire hadn’t encouraged it, but he didn’t repel it either, and over time Perceptor has grown bolder – when his hand accidentally-on-purpose brushes against Skyfire’s over a sample of some earth rock he leaves it there, grey fingers sliding slowly over Skyfire’s much larger hand, and his optics full of expectancy. Hopefulness.
Skyfire knows full well he should turn away, pretend not to understand. But Perceptor is so shy and so earnest in his advances, and Skyfire has not been touched in a very long time. He can feel his resolve crumbling, succumbing to whatever lingering memories he has of how this used to feel, and how, before the cracks had opened up, they had been happy. He can’t resist; chasing down that feeling he leans down to kiss Perceptor, folding his arm around his back and lifting Perceptor onto the workspace in front of him, his other hand sliding over the seams in Perceptor’s casing, fingers forcing their way into the gaps to exposed circuitry below.
It’s different – of course it’s different. There’s nothing of Starscream’s demanding pushiness, only an unhurried, unconditional submission. Skyfire closes his eyes and tries to remember – he knows the body beneath his is not Starscream’s, and he can’t reasonably pretend that it is. It’s smaller, blockier, and the wings he wants to reach for aren’t there. Instead, he runs his fingers around the base of Perceptor’s microscope, feeling him shudder. Perceptor’s relatively tiny hands fumble gracelessly along his intakes, before clumsily fiddling with the catch of his casing.
“Skyfire, you can – if you want –” Perceptor’s intakes hitch as Skyfire crushes him closer, opens his casing and slides out his conductor cables. Perceptor stretches backwards and opens himself up, and Skyfire connects his cables to the ports in Perceptor’s chest, feeling the current begin to flow.
It’s nothing – nothing like what he remembers or wants. Skyfire closes his eyes again and tries to be anywhere but here – he speeds up the pulses in the current, and tries to get this over and done with as quickly as possible, rough, fast and nothing like what a first time should be like. He flicks through his memory banks and tries to imagine being back on Cybertron, ten million years ago, on a field trip to Kaon –
“Starscream --” It’s out before he can stop it, and he feels Perceptor stiffen beneath him, his hand suddenly falling from Skyfire’s arm.
***
“I’m sorry,” Skyfire offers afterwards.
Perceptor simply goes about coiling his parts away, sliding back within himself. “I can’t pretend I hadn’t hoped –” Perceptor cuts himself off, faltering slightly.
Skyfire can’t look at him.
“But at least credit me with enough intelligence to understand what I was potentially getting into,” Perceptor finishes, closing his housing with a soft ‘click’, before turning and walking away.
For a while, Skyfire simply sits and waits for the guilt to creep over him, but it never comes. He knows his fall from grace started millions of years ago, the intertwined helices of his and Starscream’s lives pulling each other along, bound together, but never once managing to touch.
There’s no guilt over what he’s done – just a numb realisation that this was the choice he had made all those years ago, and the knowledge that, given the option, he would do it all again.
Starscream would drag everyone down with him, and there would always be somewhere lower to sink.
The end.
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no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 03:13 pm (UTC)I like Skyfire bitter, oh yes. So often he's just endlessly, stupidly optimistic, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that he needs to move on. The balance you've struck between Skyfire trying to move on and still recognising that there's a part of himself that wants to 'fix' Starscream rings very true, for me.
Also: eee, Skyfire/Perceptor! Okay, it ended badly. But, STILL.
So, yes. Much love for you!
*is immensely amused by your choice of icon*
no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 12:00 am (UTC)*is immensely amused by your choice of icon*
In the dreadful alternative universe that should never come out of my head, Skyfire finishes up with Perceptor, shouts "THANKS, BUTTHOLE!" and dashes off to down gin and tonic and make eyes at cute lady robots XD And he's wearing a smoking jacket.
Thanks again -- I really appreciate it, dude :) <3333
no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 03:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 04:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 12:05 am (UTC)because I have thought and still think the same of people I have loved, and it feels exactly like that.
Heh -- you and me both XD I'm glad it seemed realistic to you :)
Thanks again! I really appreciate it :DD
no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 05:06 pm (UTC)"I pray the days and nights / in the endless, weary procession / soon overwhelm my / sad obsession..."
no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 12:09 am (UTC)If you don't mind me asking, what are the lines at the end from? I tried Googling them, but nothing came up :( They're really lovely.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-07 06:44 pm (UTC)Not at all! It's from the musical Chess; specifically the song "You and I." (http://www.uppercutmusic.com/artist_c/chess_lyrics/you_and_i_reprise_lyrics.html)
no subject
Date: 2008-02-08 11:57 pm (UTC)Thanks for that! I must admit I'm not so familiar with Chess, but that song has beautiful lyrics :)
no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 07:51 pm (UTC)Bitter Skyfire is intriguingly bitter. I don't think I've ever seen a take on him quite like this, and it feeds my dark-emotions kink nicely. God, the way he was doing sex was just- Mmm! Fucked up and knowing it, but he just can't stop himself. Yes...
no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 12:12 am (UTC)Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it and fed your kink XD (maybe I have one of those myself XD).
Also, your icon is cracking me up.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 12:36 am (UTC)I love my Agent Elrond quoting Scar. ^__^
no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 08:52 am (UTC)Was that in this round of prompts?
no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 05:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-07 06:37 am (UTC)*contemplates what to sneak into the prompts to get some fic from you* XD
no subject
Date: 2008-02-07 04:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-09 12:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 11:25 pm (UTC)Ditto on all the 'wanting to give them cuddles' comments.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 12:15 am (UTC)If only there were more cuddles things would be so much better for everyone XD
Thanks again :D
no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 12:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-06 01:55 pm (UTC)Anything else I can say has been said already, so yeah. Wow. ^^
no subject
Date: 2008-02-07 06:38 am (UTC)Thank you -- I'm glad you liked it! I really appreciate the feedback :)