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kinkfestTitle: This love you thrust into my chest - This hate you drained out of my heart
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
littlelinor
Rating: M (for Messed Up)
Warnings: Spoilers for the entire game, mindf*ck
Prompt:Tales of Hearts, Creed/Shing: shared bonds - the heart is deceitful above all things
Word count: 1092
Summary: "Well tell me, Meteoryte. What is your reason now?"
A/N: Seriously messed up. Also, you choose if you want to take Creed seriously or not.
Will be cross-posted, because this fandom needs pimping.
It was all terribly ironic. He, who had shouted the power of soma and bonds -taken unaware by their real potential.
Overwhelmed by the power of his heart, and of all it kept hidden -regret, guilt, sadness, empathy, all too clear understanding- By those bonds that should have been severed but lingered, as if his very being clung desperately to a part of him that he had, in his rage, let go.
It was a cruel irony, that what he had been forced to leave behind, dragged away against his will, now haunted him and wouldn't let him go.
He couldn't understand why, either. He'd been all too eager to get out, back then.
"Why are you still here?"
"I wonder." His voice was cruel, somewhat amused. "Am I haunting you or are you calling for me?" -his presence, close yet invisible, as if he was mere centimetres from his back, but Shing knew that if he turned he would see no one- "Maybe my dear Sister-in-law was right. Maybe I am drawn to warmth," and then a mere whisper, "to love."
His mouth felt dry, his breathing restrained to the superficial parts of his lungs, unable to go deeper and calm him.
"Flora also said that you didn't understand those feelings."
He felt the sudden tension in the air as Flora's name was mentioned, but then the pressure was back, insidious, surprisingly warm.
"Maybe understanding them has nothing to do with it. They are there, and so…" there were hands on his shoulders, and suddenly the voice was finally completely clear, corporeal, "so am I."
He turned to face him, heart contracting briefly as his eyes traveled the red hair and eyes, the face -his mouth was smirking, but his eyes were all too serious.
It was rare for him to actually show himself. Usually all he could feel was a presence, sometimes a voice sneaking into his sleep, or the feeling of a heart still pulling at his own while he was awake. But now he was there, with as much presence as he had when he was alive, voice and body, and Shing felt nearly as overwhelmed as he had been when his mind had no longer been his own.
He wanted to feel angry, but all he felt was sadness, and he wanted his dreams to go back to normal, like they were when his cheerfulness came from innocence rather than a desperate will to save what love remained in the world. When his grandfather was alive and he still ignored the meaning of hate.
He had hated, and through his hate Creed had been freed, taking over his will and his body, even influencing his emotions until he'd just run him through and left him to die, bleeding on the floor. But now he wondered if the reason for his hate -this love that he believed in, that he had tried to protect- hadn't somehow caught, like a nail in clothing, and kept a sliver of the intruder there when he should have been totally released.
He couldn't see any other reason for this nightmare. It wasn't like Creed had ever felt any fondness for him.
"Let me go. There's nothing for you here."
He wanted him gone, and yet he couldn't force himself to push him away in earnest. All he could hope for was persuading him, make him leave of his own accord.
"Ah, but you don't really want me to leave, do you? You'd rather have me inside you again than outside and dead." Shing could feel his hand sliding at the back of his neck. "How weak Cellreid are. You can't even protect your own spiria…you don't even want to protect it…"
"At least I didn't go mad when people I loved were hurt!"
"Oh didn't you? Let me remind you…" He was close, too close, and it was like he was possessed again, when all he could feel was the other's presence. "When your friends were hurt, you turned into… me. And you didn't wait for it to happen, either. As soon as Incarose threatened them, you unleashed your hate out of fear… in reality you would rather be like me than leave things to chance, don't you?"
"No!"
"Yes. You were right when you said we are alike. That's how you really are. How would your pretty girl react if she knew? Or her brother, or your other friends. What will they do when they see that you're not that paragon of innocence, here to soak up and hide their own sins? You cling to those bonds and hope they will take all that is dark from inside your spiria, but even you don't really believe in it, do you?"
"It's not true!" It was a cry this time, painful after his previous whispers. His heart was beating fast and irregular, and he could feel tears preying at his eyes. "You're wrong! I love people. I just love them too much, too many of them, and… I can't not get scared. I can't be everywhere at once, save everyone, and so I get scared… I just want to protect them." He tried pushing against Creed to force him to back away, but his hands went right through when he tried.
The hands around his neck and back stayed corporeal.
"I have bad feelings, just like everybody else. But they're not a real part of me." He was sobbing now, giving up on his attempts to free himself. "I can't hate, not really. All I feel is fear. I can't even hate you… Even then I couldn't, and now…"
"Ah, yes. Protecting those you love… It's always been your reason to fight, hasn't it… Well tell me, Meteoryte… What is your reason now? Why am I still in your mind?"
"I…"
"I'll tell you something, little Shing. This is why you're weak. You want to protect others, but you can't even protect yourself. Not from harm, not from love."
And then he was completely solid again, and his embrace was absolute, surrounding him on every side, lips on his, mouth suddenly shared and sight obscured by bright red curtaining his face.
Then lips upon his brow, the grip on his body a parody of what such an embrace should be. Cruel words against his skin, above his eyes.
"You really are weak, Shing Meteoryte, to still love someone like me."
He woke up in his bed, temples covered in tears and heart pounding with a terrible sense of loss.
Author/Artist:
littlelinor Rating: M (for Messed Up)
Warnings: Spoilers for the entire game, mindf*ck
Prompt:Tales of Hearts, Creed/Shing: shared bonds - the heart is deceitful above all things
Word count: 1092
Summary: "Well tell me, Meteoryte. What is your reason now?"
A/N: Seriously messed up. Also, you choose if you want to take Creed seriously or not.
Will be cross-posted, because this fandom needs pimping.
It was all terribly ironic. He, who had shouted the power of soma and bonds -taken unaware by their real potential.
Overwhelmed by the power of his heart, and of all it kept hidden -regret, guilt, sadness, empathy, all too clear understanding- By those bonds that should have been severed but lingered, as if his very being clung desperately to a part of him that he had, in his rage, let go.
It was a cruel irony, that what he had been forced to leave behind, dragged away against his will, now haunted him and wouldn't let him go.
He couldn't understand why, either. He'd been all too eager to get out, back then.
"Why are you still here?"
"I wonder." His voice was cruel, somewhat amused. "Am I haunting you or are you calling for me?" -his presence, close yet invisible, as if he was mere centimetres from his back, but Shing knew that if he turned he would see no one- "Maybe my dear Sister-in-law was right. Maybe I am drawn to warmth," and then a mere whisper, "to love."
His mouth felt dry, his breathing restrained to the superficial parts of his lungs, unable to go deeper and calm him.
"Flora also said that you didn't understand those feelings."
He felt the sudden tension in the air as Flora's name was mentioned, but then the pressure was back, insidious, surprisingly warm.
"Maybe understanding them has nothing to do with it. They are there, and so…" there were hands on his shoulders, and suddenly the voice was finally completely clear, corporeal, "so am I."
He turned to face him, heart contracting briefly as his eyes traveled the red hair and eyes, the face -his mouth was smirking, but his eyes were all too serious.
It was rare for him to actually show himself. Usually all he could feel was a presence, sometimes a voice sneaking into his sleep, or the feeling of a heart still pulling at his own while he was awake. But now he was there, with as much presence as he had when he was alive, voice and body, and Shing felt nearly as overwhelmed as he had been when his mind had no longer been his own.
He wanted to feel angry, but all he felt was sadness, and he wanted his dreams to go back to normal, like they were when his cheerfulness came from innocence rather than a desperate will to save what love remained in the world. When his grandfather was alive and he still ignored the meaning of hate.
He had hated, and through his hate Creed had been freed, taking over his will and his body, even influencing his emotions until he'd just run him through and left him to die, bleeding on the floor. But now he wondered if the reason for his hate -this love that he believed in, that he had tried to protect- hadn't somehow caught, like a nail in clothing, and kept a sliver of the intruder there when he should have been totally released.
He couldn't see any other reason for this nightmare. It wasn't like Creed had ever felt any fondness for him.
"Let me go. There's nothing for you here."
He wanted him gone, and yet he couldn't force himself to push him away in earnest. All he could hope for was persuading him, make him leave of his own accord.
"Ah, but you don't really want me to leave, do you? You'd rather have me inside you again than outside and dead." Shing could feel his hand sliding at the back of his neck. "How weak Cellreid are. You can't even protect your own spiria…you don't even want to protect it…"
"At least I didn't go mad when people I loved were hurt!"
"Oh didn't you? Let me remind you…" He was close, too close, and it was like he was possessed again, when all he could feel was the other's presence. "When your friends were hurt, you turned into… me. And you didn't wait for it to happen, either. As soon as Incarose threatened them, you unleashed your hate out of fear… in reality you would rather be like me than leave things to chance, don't you?"
"No!"
"Yes. You were right when you said we are alike. That's how you really are. How would your pretty girl react if she knew? Or her brother, or your other friends. What will they do when they see that you're not that paragon of innocence, here to soak up and hide their own sins? You cling to those bonds and hope they will take all that is dark from inside your spiria, but even you don't really believe in it, do you?"
"It's not true!" It was a cry this time, painful after his previous whispers. His heart was beating fast and irregular, and he could feel tears preying at his eyes. "You're wrong! I love people. I just love them too much, too many of them, and… I can't not get scared. I can't be everywhere at once, save everyone, and so I get scared… I just want to protect them." He tried pushing against Creed to force him to back away, but his hands went right through when he tried.
The hands around his neck and back stayed corporeal.
"I have bad feelings, just like everybody else. But they're not a real part of me." He was sobbing now, giving up on his attempts to free himself. "I can't hate, not really. All I feel is fear. I can't even hate you… Even then I couldn't, and now…"
"Ah, yes. Protecting those you love… It's always been your reason to fight, hasn't it… Well tell me, Meteoryte… What is your reason now? Why am I still in your mind?"
"I…"
"I'll tell you something, little Shing. This is why you're weak. You want to protect others, but you can't even protect yourself. Not from harm, not from love."
And then he was completely solid again, and his embrace was absolute, surrounding him on every side, lips on his, mouth suddenly shared and sight obscured by bright red curtaining his face.
Then lips upon his brow, the grip on his body a parody of what such an embrace should be. Cruel words against his skin, above his eyes.
"You really are weak, Shing Meteoryte, to still love someone like me."
He woke up in his bed, temples covered in tears and heart pounding with a terrible sense of loss.
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Date: 2011-11-14 02:27 am (UTC)... probably should not be my first reaction given what's going on in the fic, but it is. Basically this is a really interesting AU idea and ambiguity is cool
and I like mindgames!fic more than I should sob. And there are a lot of possible things this could be andAnd um
Struggling to say anything coherent??
Because I am sort of doing the Being Happy Ate My Brain thing after reading this. SORRY.